"Kriss, Kriss! Wake up!"
Kriss groggily opened her eyes then closed them again, as she felt herself being shaken awake "Come on it's nearly 12 o'clock! You've already missed breakfast, you don't want to miss dinner as well!" Claudettes voice pervaded Kriss's brain, forcing her out of her slumber. She attempted to lift her head, but couldn't, as the pain in it was too great.
"Kriss, are you okay?" Claudette sounded concerned now "Hey look at you, you're all hot and clammy! Where were you last night, anyway? We looked everywhere for you, we were so worried when we couldn't find you. You wouldn't believe the relief when I saw you lying in your bed this morning!"
"Is she okay?" Xanthe had entered the room now, followed by Lucinda
"I think she's ill, with flu by the looks of it. We'd better get Madam Pomfrey to have a look at her" Claudette told them
"Crikes, what she being doing to get flu and where was she last night?" Xanthe asked
"I don't know, but right now we have to get her well" answered Claudette
Kriss had been having a lovely dream about sitting by the lake with her friends talking and laughing, when suddenly a group of deatheaters had appeared. She saw her friends running and they had called to her to come with them, but for some reason her legs wouldn't work. The deatheaters had got closer and closer, she wanted to scream but no sound would come out of her mouth. One of them had grabbed her, pushing her down to the ground, the terror within her rose higher. She grabbed at the mask on the deatheaters head, trying to lift it off to see the face beneath, but then she woke up.
Kriss looked around her confused not knowing where she was for a moment. Then she realised. "Why am I in the hospital wing?" thought Kriss. She tried to sit up but her head banged with pain and dizziness so she lay down again.
"Well! Quite a night you had young lady" Madam Pomfrey said briskly, as she entered the room. She stood by Kriss's bed putting a thermometer in her mouth. "You had everyone worried you know, no one had any idea where you were, then there was all that business in the Slytheryn common room.." she took the thermometer out of Kriss's mouth, looking at it briefly, before pocketing it.
"What happened last night anyway?" Kriss asked through half closed eyes
"I'm sure your friends will tell you, when you see them. I'm more interested in what you've been up to; you've got bruises on your shoulders, neck and knees and you must have been out in the cold for some time to catch that flu!" Madam Pomfrey announced, looking at Kriss expectantly for an answer.
"I.. I was outside for a while. I just wanted some air, I was just walking but it was dark and I tripped up, then I went to find somewhere to sit and I must have fallen asleep" Kriss said off the top of her head
"Oh I see. Well, I've heard a lot of tall stories in my time, some of them were even plausible, that one wasn't bad considering you only just made it up." Madam Pomfrey said, seeing straight through Kriss's answer. She picked something up off the bedside table "Now you need to take some of this it will make you feel better"
Kriss opened her eyes to see the nurse holding a bowl and spoon, "what is it?" she asked
"It's soup, my own recipe. Two bowls a day should have you back on your feet in a couple of days. Now sit up a little and open wide" Madam Pomfrey said, mimicking the action
Kriss reluctantly sat up to take the soup, it tasted surprisingly delicious and she did start to feel a little better.
When she had finished eating, Madam Pomfrey took care of her bruises, easing the pain considerably.
For the rest of the Sunday she did little else but sleep. In the evening her friends came to visit. By this time Kriss was feeling well enough to sit up.
"So" Claudette asked, sitting down on the bed, beside her "Are you going to tell us where you got to last night? I saw you with that pig Caecius. We were all coming over to see what was going on, but when we got there you'd gone. Then there was that thing Harry Potter did to him, oh that was so funny! I've never seen him so angry, everyone was just standing around laughing. The teachers were trying to catch his trousers and then he told one of his goons to give him their trousers, which they did. Soon as he'd got them on he squared up to Harry and threatened him, but Harry just smiled at him. The teachers intervened of course and Harry and Caecius ended up in Dumbledores office, accompanied by several of the teachers trying to keep them apart." She said trying to suppress her laughter.
"But what happened in the Slytheryn common room?" Kriss asked, curiously
"Well, after Harry and Caecius left they just carried on with the ball until midnight, as usual. Then we all made our way back to our rooms. The teachers took us so far down telling us that Professor Snape must already be waiting for us down there and that we'd better behave. Then the shout went up that he wasn't anywhere in sight, everyone just went mad. People were getting their wands from their rooms and conjuring up all sorts of things, having fights with the furniture, letting off indoor fireworks and some were running down to the kitchens to get more food. Someone had brought alcohol in and people were getting drunk and doing even more crazy things. I think there was practically an orgy going on in one of the rooms. They put on some music really loud and this lad did a striptease, I didn't see who it was, I was with my date in his room by then out of the way. Oh it was absolute chaos, the mess was unbelievable, it took them ages to clear it up!"
"What's going to happen to everyone, are they going to get punished?" kriss questioned further
"We don't know yet" butted in Xanthe obviously wanting to get a word in "Dumbledore says he might let us all off, as there was no real permanent damage and just lay it all down to high spirits. But he wants us all to work extra hard and not cause any more trouble like this again, especially us 7th years."
"Wow, you got off lightly then," exclaimed Kriss, smiling
"Yes, I think he was in a good mood last night, even with the Caecius and Harry thing he had to deal with" Said Lucinda "I thought it was great fun, especially that lad that did the strip tease, mmm very nice! He kept doing impressions of Snape, oh! It was sooo funny!" she said laughing again at the memory
"Well, we're waiting!" Claudette said expectantly "Come on tell us where you got to!"
Kriss looked down wanting nothing more than to tell her best friends where she had been the previous night, but knowing she couldn't "After Caecius, hassling me, I just wanted to get out of there. I went to go back to our room, but then I decided to go and get some fresh air instead"
"But it was freezing out there last night!" said Lucinda incredulously
"I know, but I just wanted to be alone for a while" she answered
"But where did you go?" Claudette asked
"Oh I just wandered around for a bit, then I decided to go and sit in the quidditch stadium and I fell asleep in there. Next thing I knew, I woke up really early this morning and walked back into school and got into bed" Kriss was quite proud of this plausible sounding explanation.
"But that doesn't explain the bruises you were covered in!" Xanthe had got her there
"I don't know how I got those, I must have fallen or something." Kriss said, shrugging. It was true she really wasn't sure how she got them. Although, after thinking about it for a while, knew that the brooms falling all over her back and falling over twice last night would probably have caused them.
"The teachers told us if you hadn't returned by morning, they would have to inform your parents. We tried to cover for you saying that you often liked going off on your own and could look after yourself, if you needed to. They looked everywhere for you, but they mustn't have thought about the stadium. We all wanted to go and look for you too, but they said one missing student was enough. I think you were forgotten about a bit though with all the chaos." Claudette said, brushing hair out of Kriss's eyes tenderly "Still, you're here now and safe, just don't go disappearing on us again!" she finished
"I'll try not to " said Kriss apologetically
"Well, it's getting late we'd better go and let you get some sleep" Claudette said standing up and kissing her on the forehead, the other girls kissed her aswell and they all left.
For the next few days, with the help of Madam Pomfrey's exellent soup, kriss got steadily better. She had a lot of time to think about what she was going to do about Severus. At the time she had felt utterly horrified at finding out he was a deatheater, but now all she wanted was to speak to him, hear his side, before she made her mind up. She knew she still loved him even now after everything. She refused to believe he could have done anything really bad, he just didn't seem to have it in him to be evil. But the thought of seeing that mark on his arm still upset her greatly.
When she was completely recovered and left the hospital wing, one thing was on her mind - to confront Severus. This was going to be difficult as her friends would be fussing over her and watching her every move for a while. She didn't know for certain if they believed her explanation of her disappearance and would have to be cautious. In the end she just got on with enjoying the rest of the holidays, spending her time playing wizard chess, going to Hogsmead for shopping and butterbeers in 'The Three Broomsticks' and generally having a laugh. Even with everything that had happened this had turned out to be the best Christmas Kriss felt she had ever had.
The opportunity to see Severus did not come until the next Friday. It was New Years eve and all her friends wanted to go to a party at The Three Broomsticks with their various boyfriends, who'd found out about it. Kriss had said she didn't want to go and stood fast even through begging and pleading, especially from Claudette. She'd said she was quite happy to spend a quiet night in on her own and that they should go and enjoy themselves. All 7th years got special permission to go into Hogsmead on New Years eve providing they didn't cause any trouble or drink underage. Kriss would have liked to go, but she knew she had to grab this opportunity to speak to Severus, before school started again.
Evening came and kriss tried to hide her sadness at seeing everyone get dressed up for the party.
"We're definitely coming back here, to see the new year in with you" Claudette had said before she left, after spending the last hour still nagging Kriss to go with them. Then added "Look don't go wandering off, okay? Just stay here in the common room, please!"
"Look I'm fine, for a start I know Caecius went home for the rest of the holidays, so I don't have to worry about him and I'm a hundred percent better now, so go and enjoy yourselves!" Kriss had tried to reassure her friends
"If you're sure, well we had better get going or we'll never get there, see you later then!" Claudette waved goodbye before disappearing through the portrait hole, followed by her boyfriend, Lucinda and Xanthe and their boyfriends disappearing after her.
Kriss bit her lip, standing there for a while then went and sat down to wait. She intended to go and see if Severus was in his office, she knew thet he spent most evenings in there.
After about half an hour and a lot of thinking about what she was going to say, Kriss got up and left the common room.
Her tummy was turning to butterflies as she approached Severus's office. There was light coming through the bottom of the door. He was in there. Kriss hesitated for a while looking up and down the corridor to check if anyone was coming then she knocked cautiously
"Enter" said a voice from inside. Kriss walked in. When Severus saw who it was he stood up "I've been waiting for you to come." pausing fo a moment, then said, "I heard about you being ill, I hope you are well now. I'm sorry I couldn't come and see you" As he said this, his eyes were downcast, instead of his usual intense stare.
"I'm fine now thank you" replied Kriss taking a deep breath before continuing "I just want you to know that, I know about.. the thing on your arm" she looked at her fingers and fiddled with them, nervously.
Severus got up from his chair looked out of the door to check if anyone was around and satisfied that there wasn't, shut it behind him. Then he put a special charm on the door to soundproof it.
"I guessed you had seen the mark." He said going over to his desk and sitting down again. "It must have been a shock, but I never meant you to find out like that. I was going to tell you, when we were.. interrupted. Now I suppose you hate me I don't blame you, I hate myself too.I suppose you want to know why I became one." Severus was looking at her expectantly now, waiting for an answer
"Yes, I'd like to know, but the main thing I want to know is – are you still active?" she said
"No, most definitely not. I left all that behind when I became a teacher at Hogwarts, 15 years ago. Dumbledore would not have had me here if he could not be sure he could trust me"
"Just please tell me you never took part in any of the torturing or killing they did" said Kriss looking at him hopefully.
"No, I didn't get involved in that part of it. They wanted me to do what I do best, brew potions, mainly poisons and strong verisatiums" He was looking down again now
"Why did you want to be one of them though? I don't understand" Kriss asked
"There are a lot of reasons; I was young, angry and resentful. I thought they could give me what I thought I wanted; power - the ability to control others, my own life perhaps. But all I really wanted was respect something I had never had, only repudiation. They didn't respect me though; they still saw me as the person they knew from school.
After Voldermort disappeared it gave me a chance to start again, to redeem myself. Dumbledore had always tried to help me as my teacher, but I had rejected him then. I went to him asking for his help this time and we talked for a long time about everything that had happened. He offered me the chance to become a teacher and I took it. It has taken me a long time to build up my reputation and I feel I am respected now" he paused standing up and walking over to the fireplace "but, if anyone finds out about my secret or what has happened between us it will all be over for me"
"I won't tell anyone I promise," said Kriss honestly
"My life is in your hands Kriss, if you chose you could take everything away. I wouldn't stop you, you must do what you think is right" He said leaning on the mantlepiece and looking into the fire.
Kriss walked over to him, with tears starting in the corners of her eyes. She reached out a hand to touch him then held back, not knowing if he would want her to. She blinked; making the burgeoning tears run down her face. Kriss stood there uncertainly for a moment, crying silently.
"You had better go now, won't your friends be missing you? It is New Years eve after all." Severus said not looking up
"No.. they.. they've all gone to Hogsmead to a party at The three Broomsticks" Kriss said wiping her wet face on her sleeve.
"Why didn't you go with them?"
"I wanted to talk to you.. to tell you that I loved you no matter what" Kriss said awkwardly
Severus made an incredulous noise in his throat, then said, "How can you love me? All the boys you could choose in this school and you love me? You're young and idealistic Kriss, you probably have some idea that we could actually have a relationship, but it just isn't possible. The sooner we end this thing, the sooner you get over me and we can both get back to normal."
"But I don't want to end it. I may be young but I know that what I feel for you is more than just a crush or physical attraction. It is the real thing, I know it is, right now all I want more than anything in the world is to be with you. I've nearly finished school now and then nothing could prevent us from being together" Kriss said desperately trying not to cry again
Severus had turned around now and was looking at her. Suddenly he grabbed both her arms and spoke "Look at me Kriss, I'm old, too old for you. I don't deserve to have you in my life. Go and find someone your own age." He pleaded looking directly into kriss's eyes "Even if we did have a relationship, everywhere we went, people would judge us and talk about us and what about your parents, what would they think? What about the future?" As he said this, his tone had softened considerably
Kriss took a deep breath before speaking and looked up at Severus smiling briefly.
"Look, I know that there is an age difference, but I don't care about it. I know I probably should, but I don't. After all our souls don't age, only our bodies. I feel that my soul is in love with your soul and whatever is in between is not important. Not that I don't fancy you, because I do very much, but what I'm trying to say is.."
But whatever she was trying to say was suppressed by a kiss, this surprised Kriss so much she didn't react at first. Recovering quickly, she returned it, reaching up to put her hands around Severus's neck. The kiss got deeper and more passionate, then suddenly Kriss broke away. She looked at him a sly smile playing on her lips.
"Why don't we go up to your room, I want to see if you've drawn any new pictures of me lately!" She said
"What? You looked at my sketchbook? You weren't supposed to see them. No one has ever seen my drawings, they're..private" Said severus, looking horrified.
"I'm sorry I was just curious. They were very good, you have a lot of talent. I can't even draw a straight line!" Kriss said smiling
"It's alright after all I did leave you in there all alone didn't I? In answer to your question - I haven't touched pencil to paper for quite a while now" he sounded almost sad
"Well then I'd like to make you an offer, why don't I pose for you now?" she said raising her eyebrows
"I don't know, I haven't been in the mood lately" he replied hesitantly
"What about if I posed naked? Would that get you in the mood?" She said, sniggering
Severus smiled then he laughed gently, saying "It would certainly help"
"Well then, what are we waiting for? Lets go!" as she said this she indicated to the door and pulled him towards it.
"Alright Kriss you win. Just let me check if the coast is clear. I suppose it can't hurt to let this madness between us continue for a little while longer, even though I know it can't last" he said putting his head against hers briefly then moving towards the door
"Nobody can know if their love will last forever, my eldest brother has been married twice now. But you just have to grab happiness when it comes along and hold on to it for as long as possible" she said philosophically, watching as the professor opened the door and look out.
"Come, the coast is clear" He held out his hand to her and she walked forward grabbing it.
They walked quickly towards the portrait entrance to his room and after looking many times up and down the corridor, both entered and ascended the stairs.