For the next few weeks Kriss and her friends began to get down to some serious work. With it being their final exam year, there wouldn't be much time now for anything else.
Severus had made it quite clear to Kriss that she had to concentrate on her studies, so would only allow her to to see him, apart from lessons, on a Friday and Saturday nights.
They had got into a routine at the weekend, Kriss would go to bed as normal, then by using an alarm on her watch that only she could hear, would wake up. If any of the girls were there, (which often they weren't, preferring to spend the night with their boyfriends) and they woke up, she would just pretend to be sleepwalking and start mumbling about lessons or homework
It was on one Saturday in late February, that Kriss felt it was now time to ask Severus something. They were in his room as usual and had just made love, Severus was lying on his back, with Kriss snuggled up against him.
"Severus?" Kriss asked, biting her lip nervously
"What is it?" Severus said absently, he had been staring into space for a while, deep in thought
Kriss took a deep breath and said, "Why won't you let me see your back? I mean it's just strange you never let me see it, you always seem to manage to cover it up." Then she laughed a little as she said "I know it's not because it's really hairy or anything because I'd be able to feel it"
Severus sighed and then slowly got up ordering the lights to brighten. Then he turned around, with his back facing her and sitting on the bed to showed Kriss what she wanted to see.
"I knew I couldn't hide it forever, I was just putting off the inevitable. I just did not want you to pity me," he said resignedly
Kriss sat up to look, curious. At first she could see nothing out of the ordinary, then she moved closer.
What she saw made her gasp in shock, then recoil slightly. She reached out a shaky hand to touch the silvery-white lines that criss-crossed all over the skin of his back.
"Who..who did that! The deatheaters?" she asked her voice quavering
"No" he said pausing before saying "it was my Father, he had some rather old fashioned ideas about discipline, he thought whipping was an acceptable way to keep me in line"
"Your..your Father did this to you? Why? Why didn't you tell someone, that's horrendous!" she said incredulous. She couldn't believe that a parent could do that to his or her own child.
"There was family honour and pride at stake, I didn't want everyone knowing our business, so I said nothing. My Father had brought me up to trust no one outside the family. He was a very paranoid man, he had crossed some dangerous people once and we lived hidden away from practically everybody. Violence seemed normal to me, I believed that everyone had the same kind of home life. It was only when I came to Hogwarts that I realised that this was not the case"
"Oh, I had no idea, it never occurred to me that you could have suffered so much!" Kriss had tears in her eyes now
"I had long ago come to terms with what my Father did. He got worse as I got older and ended up in St Mungos in the ward for the incurably insane and died in there. My Mother never got over losing him and died not long after. She loved him even though he made her life a misery."
"Did he beat her too" Kriss queried
"Yes, but she learnt how to handle him and calm him down when he became enraged" He answered, pausing for a moment then turning to look at her, added "I'm trusting you Kriss, to tell no one about this. The only other person living that knows is Dumbledore."
"I'll never tell anyone, hex me if you want, but I'll never tell I promise" she said earnestly
Severus looked away again and said nothing for a while, then turned and looked at her with a serious expression on his face "You had better get back to your dorm now, it's getting late"
"Yes, yes I'm going" she said. She got out of bed and put on her nightdress and dressing gown then waited. Severus always went with her to see her to the Slytherin common room entrance, he liked to make sure she got there alright.
As Kriss lay in her own bed that night, thinking about this new information, she realised that far from pitying him she now admired and loved him all the more. No wonder he was so standoffish with people and never trusted anyone. But he loved her enough to trust her with one of his innermost secrets and that made Kriss feel very honoured.
During weekdays she often saw Harry Potter, the only one who knew the truth about the night of The Ball and stopped to talk to him if he was alone. She stayed away if he was with his friends, as the girls always gave her rather disapproving looks. She liked talking to him; he was very friendly and had a really good sense of humour. She didn't tell him about the fact that her night with Severus had developed into a relationship though. She just let him believe it was a one-night stand. Unbeknown to Kriss though, someone was putting two and two together and making five.
"Hey Kriss!" shouted Claudette one morning break time, as she approached. Kriss was meeting her friends as usual and had sat waiting for the other girls, on a wall in the courtyard. "I can't believe you didn't tell me, your best friend!"
"What?" said Kriss, looking at Claudette her brow creasing in confusion as she watched her friend sit down next to her.
"What! What she says! That you were seeing Harry Potter! I've seen you talking to him, but didn't think anything of it, until the other night" said Claudette hardly able to contain herself
"Look, I'm not seeing him, we're just friends! And what do you mean 'until the other night" Kriss asked
"Oh come on Kriss, I saw you sneaking off, when you thought I was asleep. At first I thought you were sleepwalking again, but I was curious so I followed you" she said, smiling "Then I saw you go through the portrait door, so I waited for a bit and followed, but when I got out you were nowhere to be seen. I just gave up and went back to bed. I was going to ask you where you had been but I fell asleep and it slipped my mind. Then it suddenly occurred to me this morning, you'd been sneaking off to see Harry Potter!"
"Look Claudette.." Kriss began, then she thought, how was she going to explain where she'd been going. Maybe it would be a good cover for her to say it was true, that she'd been sneaking off to see Harry in secret. It would be understandable, he was a Griffendor and it was well known he was already seeing someone else. Claudette would be shocked at first but would keep it a secret if asked. "Alright it's true, I have been seeing him" she said as if reluctantly giving out the information
"I knew it! But why didn't you tell me?" she said incredulously
"He asked me not to tell anyone, because if people from our houses found out they wouldn't approve. Neither would his girlfriend!" Kriss revealed
"I suppose not. Wow and I always thought he was a bit backward with girls. I know he goes out with that 'Ginger' or whatever her name is, but he hasn't been out with may others has he. Then he goes and two-times her with you!"
"Who's two-timing with Kriss?" said a voice behind them. It was Lucinda with another boy in tow, she had finished with Carl by now.
"Kriss, two-timing? Who with?" Xanthe had arrived now too
Kriss sighed, she knew it wouldn't remain a secret for long if Lucinda knew, she had such a big mouth.
"Come on Kriss tell us what's been going on, Claudette told me she'd seen you sneaking off the other night. Who was it to see?" she asked, her eyes wide with gleeful curiosity
Xanthe joined in aswell "Yeah come on tell us, we are your friends. You've been really distant and dreamy lately, I mean I thought it was just because of all the studying you'd been doing. But you've been thinking about your secret lover haven't you! Who is it?"
They gave her expectant looks; Claudette raised her eyebrows and gave Kriss a 'might as well tell them' look.
Kriss laughed at their excitement at seeming to find out her secret, then said "Look, please don't tell anyone but I'm seeing Harry Potter on the sly. He doesn't want everyone knowing about this, after all he's a Griffendor and he's got a girlfriend"
"Why's he still going out with her, when he's got you. I mean she not bad looking, but she's not a patch on you!" said Lucinda
"Oh it's because his girlfriend is his best friends sister. He doesn't want to lose his friendship with him"
"Oooh, that explains such a lot," said Xanthe "I still can't believe you didn't tell us though, we're your best friends!"
"Sorry guys, he asked me not to tell anyone" said kriss apologetically
They all asked lots of questions about the relationship, which Kriss answered as best she could, thinking off the top of her head. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. 'What if this got out? What would Harry think of her using him as an excuse?' As it turned out she didn't have long to wait.
About two weeks later Harry cornered her on the way from Arithmancy class at morning break. She'd been deep in thought trying to work out a particularly difficult problem in her head.
"Hey Kriss, Kriss, I want to talk to you!" A voice said behind her
She didn't react at first then turned to see who had been calling her. The corridor had emptied now and they were alone.
"Oh hello Harry" she said nervously, feeling, to her dismay that she knew what this was going to be about
"Why have you been spreading it about the school that we've been having some kind of secret affair? My friends already knew that sometimes I like to go off at night on my own, now they think it's to see you! Ginny's gone absolutely mad, she's threatening me with all kinds of hexes. I've tried to deny it, telling them we're just friends, but I think the only one I've managed to convince is Ron. They've seen us talking occasionally, now they're all putting two and two together!" Harry said exasperatedly
"Look, I'm sorry Harry, this has got way out of hand. I never meant anyone else to find out. I only told my closest friends, I had no idea that anyone else knew. They've seen us together talking and just presumed we were going out. They were getting suspicious because I keep disappearing at night sometimes and I keep turning other guys down, who ask me out. I just thought it would be easier to say it was true, I hoped it would get them off my back" Kriss admitted, looking down ashamedly
"Well thanks a lot, so that's what I get for showing a bit of kindness to a Slytherin girl. Everyone told me I couldn't trust you, but I wouldn't listen. I don't like judging people before I get to know them or just by what house they're in. I've learnt my lesson now though haven't I?" he said resentfully
"Please Harry, I was cornered and I panicked. Please don't be angry with me. I'll tell Ginny I made it all up if you like. Look you haven't told anyone about that morning you found me, now, have you?" Kriss said worriedly
"Of course not, I made a promise didn't I? Not that anyone would believe me if told them anyway." He replied, sounding calmer now
"Thankyou Harry, I really appreciate that. Look, I'm sorry if I've got you into trouble with Ginny and your friends. I should have known this would happen, I wish I hadn't said anything now, it just seemed like a good idea at the time" Kriss looked up at him pleadingly and saw his expression soften
"It's okay, I suppose it will all blow over. It's not the first time someones said stuff about me that isn't true and it probably won't be the last. I mean a lot of the boys have been telling me what a lucky git I am!" He said smiling
Kriss felt hopeful now "So does that mean you forgive me and we can still be friends, in secret of course!" she said smiling back at him
"Yes, it's just that, I can get into trouble well enough on my own, without any help!" he said smiling.
All of a sudden Harry started to look a little uncomfortable. He had put his hands in his pockets and was looking down at his feet
"You know I did get my hopes up there for a while, thinking you must want to go out with me, if you were spreading rumours about us.. I haven't stopped thinking about that morning and the way you looked in that dress, you wore. I couldn't believe my luck when I found you in the shed, even though you were trying to steal my broom!" he said quietly
"Harry!" Kriss said surprised at this confession, all the time they had talked before, he had never said anything like this. She then thought he was probably just teasing her, when he said
"You're not interested in me like that, though are you?" He said looking up suddenly, his tone more serious "You don't see me as anything more than just a friend really"
Kriss was quite taken aback by these words and was unsure how to react "Harry I don't know what to say, I..I had no idea that you felt like that"
Harry had moved in closer towards her and Kriss felt her belly suddenly lurch with nerves. It had become deadly silent in the corridor, all that could be heard was their breathing. A moment passed and Harry was looking at her uncertainly.
"Well, do I have a chance with you or not?" he said looking directly into her eyes, with his emerald green ones.
Kriss felt momentarily lost in his eyes, thinking how beautiful they were, before saying "Harry I just think of you as a friend, that's all. I just told my friends we were more than that, as a bit of fun, to shock them and stop them from nagging me about not going out with anyone" But even as she said these words she couldn't help but feel an attraction to him, as he was very good looking. She knew she should go now, but her legs seemed rooted to the spot.
What was going on? She knew she loved Severus, so how come she was feeling attracted to someone else. She felt confused and guilty. Maybe it was just because she had confided in him, maybe she saw him as a bit of a hero for helping her that morning, she just didn't know.
Suddenly he moved in even closer, then slowly lifted his hand up and rested it lightly on her cheek; it was shaking slightly with nerves. Then he said "You are so beautiful Kriss and I really fancy you, I've tried not to but I can't help it."
Kriss couldn't speak and just stared at him, she was shocked by this admission but at the same time very flattered. She still couldn't seem to move and she dearly wished he would move away first.
Harry looked at her for a moment. He must have taken her lack of movement to mean she had changed her mind, because he suddenly leant in and kissed her softly on the lips. He pulled away slightly, looking into her eyes, then kissed her again harder this time. Kriss realised she really had to move now before he got the wrong idea and turned her head to the side and pushed him away, he stepped back, looking at her worriedly
"Look Harry I can't, I.. I have to go.. I'm sorry" she managed, not looking at him. She rushed off down the corridor, leaving a dissapointed Harry in her wake.
Kriss took a deep breath and breathed it out slowly to calm herself. 'Had that really just happened? Had the famous Harry potter really just kissed her and told her he liked her?' She had no idea what to do now; she was in a mess and no mistake. She had so many secrets on the go, with different people knowing different ones, she wondered what she was going to do.
At this moment in time, the person she most wanted to be with was Severus. Guilt was creeping into her mind and she needed to reassure herself and maybe him that their love was still as strong as before. "I don't like Harry in that way do I? I mean he is attractive but he is nearly two years younger than me." Then she realised how hypocritical that was of her, considering the age difference between her and Severus. She made her way down to the Potions classroom hoping he would be there. When she arrived at the door she peeped inside.
Professor Snape was sitting at his desk, marking work. He looked up as she entered.
"Kriss! What are you doing here? I thought we agreed that we would keep our 'visits' for out of school hours!" he sounded annoyed but at the same time was anxiously looking towards the door.
"I'm sorry but I'm getting tired of that arrangement, I want to see you more often. Weekend nights are just not enough. She walked closer to where he sat and saw him shift uncomfortably in his seat.
"Kriss don't come any closer, what if someone came in?" he whispered
But Kriss ignored him and carried on walking towards him. When she reached him she put her hands either side of his face and kissed him. As she did so she felt the same passion and love that she always had for him. She was relieved, she had worried that her feelings for Severus were on the wane, but they were as strong as ever. Harry must have been a small diversion on her road to true happiness.
At first he returned her kiss, but then suddenly remembered they were in his potions classroom, with a lesson not long from starting again and pushed her away.
"Not here! Not where someone could walk in at any time!" he said sharply
"I'm sorry, I just needed to see you that was all. You do still love me don't you?" Kriss said smiling down at him
"You know that I do, now go, my next class is about to start!" he said trying to usher her away.
Suddenly she felt naughty; still hyped up on the adrenaline of the earlier experience with Harry. She started to unbutton her shirt, looking at him slyly.
Kriss! What are you doing? Stop! He looked panic stricken now. Kriss found this reaction quite amusing and carried on. He looked at the door nervously.
"Someones coming! Quickly get out!" He said getting up and pushing her down the classroom towards the door.
Kriss couldn't help it, she started to giggle. This seemed to infuriate him even more.
"I expected better behaviour from you Kriss. You know whats at stake here!" He said looking suddenly very serious
Kriss came down to earth with a bump. She knew he was right, she had acted irresponsibly. She started to do her buttons back up, just in time, as the bell rang for the start of next lesson. There was the sound of students lining up outside, talking and laughing. She opened the door, trying to look as casual as possible. Giggles and whispers could be heard as she passed, Kriss couldn't understand why. Until she looked down and realised that she had done up her shirt one button too low, making it gape at the top. She cursed and pointed her wand at the mistake correcting it, then walked to her next class feeling much happier.