Untouchable
He's waiting for me in that old spot, the street corner that has become our official meeting place in the past few months.
"Oi, Sendoh, one-on-one"
And he holds the basketball out to me, that steely determination shining in those crystal-clear blue eyes.
And I smile in answer.
"I don't think I'll lose today either"
"We'll see"
Since Ryonan's very first game against Shouhoku, Rukawa Kaede had singled me out; that super-star rookie who was always searching for a challenge. I was labeled as Ryonan's unbeatable ace, by natural instinct alone, he would've found me.
"I will defeat you" was the message written all over his face after that game, as I held out my hand for him to shake; the only response I received was a light tap on the palm, and an icy glare which to this day still burns in my memory.
I had never encountered anyone who could make me feel like that.
Winning is not something that's new to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it comes so easily that I'm taking every victory for granted; every match is a new challenge, you don't what you're up against. And every time we come home the winner, that feeling of exhilaration still rushes through me.
But the feeling has become familiar, I am part of a strong team. Though we're all still learning, I've never had much interest in paying much attention to the players of those teams we take out of the running.
"Come back when you've become stronger" was practically my motto, and more often than not I forget the faces and names of the people I say that to. Sometimes it infuriates them, sometimes it motivates them…I intend to do neither, I only with to move on.
Rukawa Kaede could not be forgotten.
Bo, I don't think anyone can forget him after knowing him, no matter how brief it may have been.
And I so longed to be close to him.
But Rukawa Kaede was untouchable.
"First to ten? Or first to twenty?"
Balancing the spinning ball on the tip of my finger, I ask him while fully knowing his answer.
"Ten, and don't dawdle"
That's the way he liked to do things – quickly and with the utmost efficiency.
I've grown used to that, and yet I still ask him that same question, every time. I guess I just keep hoping that one day he'd change his mind and decide to go for a while longer…
Just so I could have that little bit more time to enjoy his company.
Heh…
I actually do dawdle sometime…
Any excuse will do.
It was an accident waiting to happen, like riding a motorcycle without a helmet, or letting a small kid play with matches…my falling for Rukawa Kaede was just an accident waiting to happen.
And the ironic part? I wasn't even the one who started it.
His name had come up a few times during practice sessions at Ryonan, mainly spoken by that over-enthusiast Hikoichi, and he gets excited by far too many things for me to really pay that much serious attention to what he's saying anymore. Besides, like I said already, I'm just that great at remembering names; heck, not even Sawakita made it through this 'filtering process', and he's beaten me before.
That should say something.
The first time he caught my eye, it was with a glare so intense and furious I couldn't help but look a second time. It was as if fire and frost have combined to burn more fiercely than either could on it's own; I never knew…I never dreamt…that anyone could be capable of doing that.
Captivating, it was absolutely mesmerizing.
And yet, it was also this element about him that makes Rukawa Kaede untouchable.
"Seven to six, you wanna take five?"
I smile at him, and he responds with only a brief glance from the corner of his eye.
"Whatever" he shrugs, as if doing me a favor.
I dig my water bottle out of my bag and he does the same, I take this chance to steal a peak at him.
Though we've only been playing for no more than ten minutes, we're still both covered in sweat as it was in the raging heat of summer. One swift movement and his shirt is off, and he tilts his face up as he holds his own water bottle above his head, emptying it's contents over himself like a mini waterfall.
It's all I can do not to gape at him like a complete idiot. Every time this happens I feel only inches away from turning into one of his cheerleading squad girls. Seriously, I've just got to get a grip on stuff like this, bikini tops and mini-skirts really don't go with this hairdo.
Ahem…
I'm winning by a single point, and I try my best to make it look as if I'm having an easy time, but each time I have one of these ten-point games with him, I can feel the pressure growing. That kid's getting better and better at a frightening pace, even for me to handle.
And yes, I think my one-year's seniority gives me the right to call him a kid.
Although I sometimes wonder, is he really getting better or are my skills getting rusty? We're still in the off-season after all, and my third year of senior high will be starting soon, I've been ordered to spend less time on the courts and more of it buried in a pile of textbooks…and the fist don't wait either.
But then again, it could be just be because lately, I've become more and more distracted by my own opponent, how the heck am I suppose to concentrate on what he's doing or figuring out his next move is gonna be when I'm so busy falling under a spell?
It enthralls me just looking at him.
And I lament that's all I can do.
Because Rukawa Kaede is untouchable.
"Sendoh, what's Rukawa like?"
"Rukawa?"
"Yeah, what's he like?"
"In what way do you mean?"
"Just…in general…"
"He's an ace in basketball…"
"Everyone knows that!"
"He sleeps a lot and doesn't talk much…"
"He's famous for that!"
"He doesn't like to be disturbed…"
"That's common knowledge Sendoh!"
"Then what were you hoping for?"
"Well…I don't know, his way of thinking and stuff like that…"
"His way of thinking? I don't think anyone knows that!"
"Not even you?"
"Me? What makes you think I'd know?"
"Oh coem on Sendoh, it's no secret that you're the only person he's ever approached voluntarily, you much know more about him that that!"
"…"
"Well?"
"No…I really…don't…"
"All right, break's over, continue!" Rukawa commanded as he picked up the ball again, not bothering to put his shirt back on. Ark, talk about distractions. Ugh, so be it.
For some reason people think that just because we've spent so much time together I must know Rukawa well enough to understand the way his mind works. That couldn't be further from the truth.
I want to know him; I want to know him deeper than just as my rival in basketball. I want to know who he really is, how he thinks, what makes him happy, what puts him down, how to make him smile, how to bring him closer.
I want to touch the untouchable.
Perhaps one day I will. Perhaps one day the barriers will be down. Perhaps one day, I'll have the chance to see what Rukawa Kaede is like. Perhaps we'll become friends.
Perhaps we'll be more.
But until then, all I can do is treasure these thirty-or-so odd minutes that he chooses to spend with me on these regular, but not frequent enough occasions. Watch him, study him, and know him the only way I'm allowed to know him.
And love him from a distance.
The game ends. I win.
"Ten to eight" I smile triumphantly "Told ya I wouldn't lose"
"Hn" He shrugs, and picks up his belongings.
"How about this Friday? Same time?" I suggest "Maybe you'd improve by then"
He glares at me icily "Count on it"
And he leaves without any further comments.
As I stand there, watching him walk away, I murmur:
"But I don't think I'll lose then either"
I will continue to win, or die trying.
Because as long as I keep winning, he will keep coming back to me.
And for the moment, that's all I'm asking for.
A/N: In brief, here's what happened: I wrote a fic, I posted it. I wrote another chapter, I tried to post it (on SenRu day 2004) but instead I replaced the initial chapter. That was stupid. I took it down. I finally found the first chapter again. I post it again. Then I deleted my second chapter, because it sucked. Hence after all that time, nothing changed.
I've gotta get more organized. I know.
Oh, and I mentioned before I was in the middle of another SenRu, but that turned into a RuSen, so watch out for it on RuSen day!