disclaimer: Gravitation, and the Gravitation characters, are not mine. They belong to Maki Murakami.

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My Wish

chapter one: Omi

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Hiro was pulling out whatever food he had in the kitchen, trying to find something that he could make without problem. It was hard to find something Shuichi would eat, and Hiro had the suspicion that Shuichi just didn't want to eat anymore, that he was beginning to give up.

Hiro sighed as he pulled out a carton of milk and filled it up, with one hand, getting out the chocolate syrup with the other. Shuichi would always drink chocolate milk. It was their favorite when they were younger, and happy, and there was more to Shuichi than this shell.

Hiro stirred the drink and put up the milk and syrup before taking the darkened drink to Shuichi who was currently camped up in his room. Opening the door, there was nothing but silence. Hiro's eyes widened.

"Shuichi?" he gasped out. "Shuichi!" There was no answer but a scrabbling in his living room and the sudden slam of his front door. Hiro dropped the drink onto the floor as he whirled around, but when he reached the outside, he realized that he had no idea of which way his friend went.

*-*-*-*

Shuichi walked along the miniature wall seperating the park and the street. He idly ran his fingers along the concrete, allowing the feel of the cool rough material to keep him in the real world. No use in dreaming about something that would never come true.

Shuichi was tired. He was tired of this life. He wanted to go back to how things were when the worst thing that could possibly happen to him was his sister would do bad on a grade and he'd have to go and cheer her up. He wanted to go back to the time when there was no band Bad Luck, back when he'd annoy everyone in the vicinty when he would sing the same Nittle Grasper song Be There over and over again.

An image popped into his field of vision. No not an image, that really was his lover walking down the opposite side of the street, his arm wrapped securly around some girl's tiny waist. Shuichi choked as they came closer, neither seeing him hiding among the trees by the wall of the park. Shuichi huddled next to one of the shade-giving giants as they kept walking on. He watched them disappear into one of the restaurants in the string of shops on the other side of the road.

Shuichi looked away, climbing up and sitting on the wall, legs kicking over as he stared with dull eyes at the name of the place his love was currently in with someone else.

His whole world had been crumbling around him since Monday when he had first left and arrived at Hiro's. And then that whole meeting with Tohma that afternoon.

*-flashback-*

Shuichi wasn't paying attention to much as he leaned against Hiro's back, concentrating more on the warmth his friend was giving off rather than the words and questions Tohma was throwing at them. Shuichi didn't think he heard a single one.

His violet eyes looked at the boy sitting on the couch. Suguru. Their keyboardist. His eyes tried to send out a silent apology to the boy, but Suguru was determined to stare at his lap where his hands lay motionless.

"Shuichi-kun?" Shuichi looked up to see his producer looking at him in his own silent distress, not even three feet away. How did he get way over here? From the look on his face, Sakano didn't know the answer to that either.

Sakano and Shuichi continued to just look at each other, neither daring to blink or look away. Finally Shuichi had had enough and he burried his face into Hiro's back, trembling slightly, unable to fully keep back his turbulent emotions.

"Shindou-san." Shuichi looked up this time to face the president of N-G Records. He had to look over Hiro's shoulder at Tohma and he saw the man through strands of red.

"I need to speak with Shindou-san alone," he could hear Tohma say. Shuichi winced. This could only mean one thing. Eiri Yuki. Hiro looked like he was going to protest, but he looked back at Shuichi before storming out unhappily. Shuichi smiled slightly at Hiro as he watched his friend leave, followed by Suguru dragging away Sakano. The last person to leave was K, leaving the two alone in the room.

"No, he doesn't know," Shuichi said to the point, looking out into the windows on either side of Tohma's desk, seeing the building to the side and catches of sky.

Tohma was silent for a moment longer before he dared to speak. "I figured that. So you also know what I'm going to say?"

Shuichi finally looked at Nittle Grasper's keyboardist for the first time since he had walked in.

Shuichi's head bowed and his pink hair covered his face from view. "I wasn't planning on going back."

Tohma nodded, taking a sip of water from the cup and pitcher Sakano had gotten for him before he had come in. He started up again. "Eiri-san was hurt when Tikazawa died. I do not want him to be hurt again."

"And me being with him would hurt him, right? Don't you think I know that?" Shuichi abruptly shut up, suddenly ashamed of the anger he was feeling. He wasn't supposed to be angry. He wasn't allowed to be angry.

"I won't go back to him," Shuichi vowed to Tohma, his voice sounding much more somber than it usually was.

Tohma nodded his head. "That's all I want. Good day, Shindou-san."

Shuichi walked out, past the people waiting for him outside. Hiro shot the others a look before taking off after Shuichi.

*-*-*-*

"Shuichi?" Violet eyes focused and his head shot up at the familiar face. Oh, please let it be...

"Omi?" he gasped out, sitting up from his slouched position.

A girl his heighth stood there, his sister Maiko standing slightly in front of her and looking quite pleased with herself. "Is everything all right, Shu-chi?"

Shuichi suddenly found it hard to breath as he dived for the girl. "You're here!" he cried out, flinging his arms around the girl's neck as he jumped down. "Omi!Omi!Omi!"

Naomi laughed as she wrapped her own arms around his waist. "It's good to see you again too, Shu-chi." She pulled back, holding him at arm's length away, her finger's resting on his shoulders lightly. "Now what is it that Maiko thought she had to call me from America to come see you? She's noticed that you haven't been yourself lately."

Maiko looked up at her older brother expectantly. She didn't know either. She would wish later on that night that she didn't know, but for now...

"Can we go somewhere else?" He didn't want to be here when Eiri and his newest bimbo came out, and he didn't want to see him lead her to his place for the night.

Maiko and Naomi shared a glance.

"Yeah, let's. This sounds somewhat personal, like family business. Let's go back to my apartment," Naomi said as she took hold of Shuichi's hand and began leading him away, sending a glance to the place Shuichi had been staring at and sending looks at the whole time.

She began to lead him away, to her place.

"Wait," Shuichi said, stopping for a moment. "/Apartment/? Doesn't that mean you'll be-" Naomi nodded causing Shuichi to shriek and dive at her again. "WAIIIIIH!" he cried out. "OMI'S STAYING!"

Maiko listened to their light laughter in the back of her mind as she glanced over at the store just in time to see Eiri Yuki and his newest girl walk out before she walked aroung the corner.

*-*-*-*

"Suguru! SUGURU!" The pounding on the door just became more insistent as did Hiro's voice as he finally rose up to see what was the matter.

Slightly annoyed, he barely had the time to jump out of the way when he unlocked the door before Hiro went charging past into his house.

"Where is he?" Hiro demanded, looking around the room in a desperate search. "Where is Shuichi?"

"Shuichi? Hiro, I don't know what's going on. Shuichi isn't here."

Hiro looked around one last time before he turned back to his band mate.

"He isn't here?" he asked, facing Suguru. "He has to be here! Where else would he go?"

"He's gone?"

"Why else would I be here?" Hiro exploded, as he stormed over to the couch and sank down, holding his head in his hands. "He ran out a few hours ago. I've gone everywhere, but he isn't anywhere."

Suguru looked Hiro over. Indeed he did look bad. Hair all disarray, a frantic eyes peeking from shaking fingers and a pale face. He was, in fact, shaking all over.

Suguru grabbed his jacket and his cell phone from where they lay on the coffee table. Dialing a number, someone on the other line picked up immediately.

"K? Shuichi's gone. No... Hiro's over here. We're going out to look now... No... Sayonara." Suguru pocketed the cell phone in his jacket as he put it on. "Let's go."

Hiro looked up, his face worn out and weary. "Yeah," he murmered. "Let's go."

*-*-*-*

Eiri Yuki dropped the girl off at the gates of where he lived, hearing her scream at him as he walked inside. How stupid of him to go find someone that hot tempered just for one night.

He had been planning on bringing her up to his bedroom, but an image of Shuichi had him turning her away. He couldn't fuck her here, or anywhere else for that matter.

"Eiri-san." Eiri looked up to the shadows, catching sight of his brother-in-law standing somewhere among them.

"Seguchi." He heard Tohma sigh as the man rose up from leaning against the wall. Something was wrong tonight with Tohma. He wasn't talking cheerfully as he usually did, doing his best tko get Eiri to call him something other than his last name.

Tohma raised an eye over to the girl who was now glaring trying to see them through the dark before she huphed and stomped off, throwing glares over her shoulder every now and then before she disappeared from view.

"I will only be a minute, Eiri-san. I won't be coming in." Eiri looked incredulously over his shoulder at Tohma. He always came in, even when he wasn't wanted.

"I suggest that you watch the news broadcast tomorrow at seven. It might have something that you need to know." He turned around and left. It was nearing midnight, and Eiri couldn't put more thought into Tohma's words as he had a deadline due in three days.

Tohma meanwhile got back into his car and sat there for a moment, indecision coursing through him. He sisn't want Eiri to get hurt again, but Shuichi and Eiri...

"/Dammit/!"

*-*-*-*

Naomi looked down upon Shuichi as the boy slept. Even in his sleep he seemed to be tormented by his demons. Maiko mumbled and turned over in her sleep. She would have to go home soon, their parents would be hysterical by now.

She rose up slowly, trying not to disturb her guests too much who were sprawled on her bed. Just like old times when they would all lean on her only to fall asleep as she read another book.

She walked into the kitchen and pushed a button on her coffee maker and soon the smell of coffee filled the air.

It was awhile later as she was sipping her coffee while leaning upon the balcony railing that she heard someone behind her.

"Omi?" She turned around to smile at Shuichi.

"Yes, Shu-chi?" The boy coughed into his hand and she winced. Cancer. How could someone like him get cancer? He should have been fine after moving out of the house and away from their father. Unless it had all ready been developing in him before he moved out. He had always been the more sensitive one though.

"I'm gonna drop Maiko off and head over to Hiro's, all right?" She nodded.

"Just be careful." She walked past him and into the kitchen, pouring out her coffee into the sink. She didn't think she could drink it anymore.

"I will be." They were both silent for awhile.

"Can I come over again sometime?" Shuichi asked hesitantly.

Naomi smiled over at him. "Of course, Shuichi."

"You're still my sister, y'know?" He wrapped his arms around her and then turned back to the bedroom to go wake his other sister up.

She smiled as she stuck the mug into the sink, turning away from the pink-haired boy who was calling out for Maiko.

"I know."

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~Naomi does have a point in this story. She does. Just not yet really. She isn't considered part of Shuichi's family since she was disowned by her parents as was Shuichi's brother Damien. They did something their parents didn't like. And that's why Shuichi will be taking Maiko home instead of Naomi even though he isn't feeling all that well right now.

~Tohma isn't sure what to do. He doesn't want Eiri hurt again, after the incident with Yuki in New York and all, but he knows Eiri well enough to know that Eiri doesn't want Shuichi to leave him like he did. He told Shuichi to stay away from Eiri, but then he goes and tells Eiri to watch Shuichi's press announcement... I'm making him OOC, aren't I? *sigh* But then again, all the characters are a bit OOC, aren't they?

Touga- Med school student? Wow. I wanna go to med school... I'm glad I got some things right.

Kitty in the Box- I thought it would be sad. I didn't want to do it! But something in my head was telling me Shuichi was gonna get cancer.

Dearest- Is it really that bad that not that many people know about it? I don't think some people want to. Just like I really didn't want to see the pictures of people with smallpox my mom showed me. It was upsetting.

Vy- That was my orignial plan. And some things about Shuichi's type of cancer will have to be what I made up to fit the story.

rakkatenshi- ...websites? *stars* Thank you! You're sooo sweet!

Victoria Myer- *nods head* Shuichi does have cancer. I didn't want it to happen, but... *tears*

Ranger- It would be ironic, wouldn't it? And then Eiri would blame himself and go back into his own ocean of angst where the memory of Yuki is... But it might not be lung cancer...but then it might just be. But in this story, Shuichi's father also smoked.

Kaede Yuki- I was watching A Walk to Remember one night (or at least I think that's what it was, it was so long ago) and the idea just started to float around my head until I just had to get it out.

rynn- I will continue. Through school, and friends, and my brother and parents, I will continue.

White Angel of the Blood Moon- I'll cry with you. Poor Shuichi has cancer, and he's a singer and one of the most lovable people ever. So I'll cry with you.

anon- *tears* His hair?! I never thought about a bald Shuichi. Nooo!! Shuichi can't go bald! It's my story and he won't go bald!!!!! SHUICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

Wynjara- AIDS isn't a bad idea actually. He maybe could've gotten it from the two guys who raped him. But no... AIDS would mean I'd have to drag poor Eiri into this. He'd have to get AIDS too.

Thank you people for reviewing!!! *throws out Shuichi plushies to all*