disclaimer: Gravitation, and the Gravitation characters, are not mine. They belong to Maki Murakami. Except Naomi and Damien, they are mine.
I suggest you go read the top of chapter three (Cafe) again. It's changed since last time.
Hello again. It's been awhile. My computer crashed and so I took it to someone I know to fix it but then we all ended up going on vacation. And no, the computer couldn't go with us so it was in a room somewhere collecting dust. I got it back just recently and realized that it's been awhile since I updated and then I had to decide in which way would this story go? I decided. And it'll probably be another while before I get the next chapter up cause I got a lot of homework and lots of studying to do (get home and work all day until I go to bed, really starting to get on my nerves but today I have no homework due tomorrow. YAY!). How could we get so much homework so fast?
My Wish
Chapter four: Hospitalized
When Shuichi woke up, he woke up alone. He woke up to white walls and white sheets, and there was a small window on the wall to his left with the white curtains closed. The only thing out of place was a small, uncomfortable-looking chair that rested by his bedside--that was pink. Violet eyes took it all in, added things together, and they widened as his breath became short.
Oh, God. He was in a hospital.
He shouldn't be here. He didn't want to be here. Who cared if he had cancer? Who cared if the last thing he could remember was that he had been somewhere in the park and had seen HIS face before he woke up here? It didn't matter if he had seen golden eyes before this, because he didn't see them now and he didn't want to be here. Anyplace was better than the hospital. Just get him. Out. Of. Here.
Shuichi's fingers clutched the white bedsheets. White. He had been in a hospital before this. His father...was sick. They said he may not make it through the night, Shuichi. Shuichi, are you all right? Shuichi? His mother had cried, grabbing onto his shoulders and shaking him. His mother hadn't been able to look at Damien, didn't look at Damien as he had left forever. Didn't look at Naomi after Damien had left. So much pain. Doting on Shuichi, suffocating him.
His father had been sick back then. He gave a sob. He was sick too.
He could remember his father. Choking. Panicking before his own children. And Naomi's cries as she watched from where she stood in their older brother's arms. His room had been white too. So much white. So so extremely sick. He had survived the surgery only to go back into relapse.
He curled up in his bed, the thin thin sheet being pulled in and his arms curling around it, his legs bending to press tightly together almost against his chest as he turned on his side. And then he began to cry.
He didn't want to be here.
"Malnutritioned. Sleep deprived. He shouldn't be placed into stressful situations. And he-" the nurse paused in her list as she looked up through her eyelashes fearfully at the imposing man standing tall before her. He just wouldn't stop glaring at her. She swallowed, took a breath, and tried again. "Well, I don't know if you know this yet, but he-"
"Has cancer. All of fucking Japan knows it by now," a young woman said as she approached them. "As grateful as I am that you have taken care of my brother, could you please leave us alone now?" she asked as she stepped up to the blonde. She didn't even look away from the glaring eyes as she addressed the nurse.
The nurse frowned but nodded nonetheless and hurried off as the man glared at her once more. She didn't know how to deal with these kinds of people. She had just arrived here in the city from her little hometown, unprepared for how different some people acted down here. She hadn't thought about what would happen if she had to be the one to give out news to the family members. Sighing, she headed for the nurse's lounge, mumbling something about coffee.
"Yuki Eiri," the girl said as she began to walk at an infuriatingly slow pace around the taller figure. "The famous romance novelist." She stopped in front of him again, his eyes resting once more on her. Still glaring. "I know why I'm here," she began. "I'm here to visit my twin brother. So the question is, why are you here? What business does a romace novelist have with some singer?" She crossed her arms as she waited with false patience for an answer.
When no answer came she gave a little smile as she uncrossed her arms. "Aah. So there is no business at all." She moved towards the door, hand reaching out for the handle. "If that's the case then I don't want to see you around here again. Shuichi's sick, so he doesn't need to have to put up with your bullshit. Leave him to the people who care and just go away." She opened the door and went inside.
"Oh, hello Shu-chi." The door clicked shut with a snap after that. It was another few minutes before Eiri finally looked away from the door and began to make his way down the hall.
Shuichi looked up tearfully from his position and allowed his fingers to uncurl from their death grip on the sheet as he noticed the person who had come into his room. He raised his arms, dropping the sheet into his lap as he sat up, and held them out for his sister who was at his side in an instant.
Naomi wrapped her arms around his back and held him close. "Shh... Look, you're not alone. I'm here, Shu-chi. I'll always be here. You know that."
"I don't want to be here, Omi. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here." He mumbled that over and over and over again, tears leaking from his eyes all over again. It seemed he would never run out of tears to cry.
"Get me out of here!" He had raised his voice. It sounded against the walls and Naomi's eyes softened as she looked down at the trembling mass in her arms. She closed her eyes and rested her head on top of his.
"Be strong, Shuichi. Be strong." Damien had told him to do that after their father had died. Damien had tricked them all. Damien had taken his sister away from him, had changed her into something else. Damien had made Naomi love him. Damien had abused his sister. Damien had ruined everything. He HATED Damien.
"If you do everything that the doctors tell you to, you'll be able to get out. You want that, right?" She absently petted his head, her fingers running through his pink hair. He nodded slightly and she smiled down at him. "Of course you do. But only if you do what the doctors say, okay? And then we'll go from there."
Eiri leaned against the wall of the hospital, all his thoughts in a blur. He hadn't even known Shuichi had a twin sister, much less that she was actually in Japan. It made him realize how little he actually knew about Shuichi. How much more was there to learn?
He went back in his mind the things he did know about his Shuichi. He knew that Shuichi's favorite food was American (how that came about, he didn't know) and that the only tea he did not like was iced tea. He knew that Shuichi did not like coffee (not like he could ever make something as simple as that to begin with) and that he despised peppermints and gum. Shuichi loved all animals, not one to disclude one simply because it was ugly or could be squashed under the toe. He knew that Shuichi liked to cuddle up to people, and that he could not go to sleep if the window was open or if any of the closet doors were open. He knew Shuichi. That was it. He knew all about Shuichi, and nothing about his past. But wasn't it the past that formed who people are today?
He wanted to know. He wanted to know everything that there was to know about the pink haired genki. And anything that there was to tell he wanted told by the pink haired genki. Just like Shuichi had done for him. He had waited for Eiri to tell him his story, and now it was his turn to speak. And this time Eiri would listen.
That is, if he got the chance to.
He sighed and got up off the wall again and started walking again.
Suguru was at this moment in the hallway of the hospital, talking into a little gray device that he was holding up to his ear.
"Hiro, why don't you have your damn cellphone on? Come to the hospital when you get this." Suguru clicked off of his own cellphone and looked up just in time to see a familiar blond walk past in the other hall. He blinked and looked over as far as he could but could not catch another glimpse. "Was that Eiri-san?"
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Suguru turned at the wail, finding the cause to be a Sakuma Ryuichi with a Noriko hanging onto his shirt.
"We don't know if someone's up there now. Wait your turn," she said to the screaming thirty-two year old. "Hello, Suguru-kun," she said as she approached him, dragging her singer behind her.
He smiled and nodded back at her. "Hello, Noriko-san. His sister is up with him now."
"See, Ryuichi," she said turning to the lump at her feet. "You can go see him once his sister comes down." Blue eyes peered back up at her from under chestnut bangs. She turned back to Suguru. "Do they know why he's here?"
"Besides the cancer? Yeah. I was there when they explained it all to Naomi." Ryuichi was staring at Noriko, who was focused on what Tohma's cousin was saying, as he silently and slowly slithered towards the next hall. When he got far enough he made a break for it.
Noriko whirled around, her hand grabbing out to catch nothing but air.
"DAMMIT RYUICHI!!!"
When Naomi finally walked out of the room, she came face to face with gold eyes and sun-kissed hair.
"You were right. A romance novelist has no business with a singer...except that he's my inspiration, my reason to keep on writing," Eiri explained as he turned to a stop in the middle of his pacing. "I'm here because I care about your brother, perhaps more than I should. He doesn't deserve what he got. He doesn't deserve all the shit I put him through. And I don't deserve his forgiveness. But still he is the only one who can make me come back or turn me away. I won't have you telling me if I can see him or not."
Naomi smiled and she stepped back, allowing him through into the room. The door closed behind him.
She turned to stare into blue eyes. "Ryuichi?" They stared at eachother for a moment before a smile lit up his face and her eyes got wide. He glomped her as she shoved herself backwards.
"NOMI!!!"
Shuichi was sleeping when Eiri walked in, closing the door softly behind him. The author slowly approached the bed, stopping just short of the chair, not willing to get to close yet. He sat down in the chair and studied his young lover.
Shuichi was paler than when he had last seen him, and thinner. So much thinner. He lay curled up on his side, teartracks ran down his face, evidence of his earlier pain. Eiri wished that in his dreams, the boy found a happier place than this. Eiri wished that when Shuichi finally was let go of this world, he would find a better place than what a damaged novelist could offer.
Shuichi's fingers, which were curled up in front of his chest, twitched slightly before reaching up to grab the pillow as he curled up more towards the bed. Eiri's own fingers ghosted across his lover's before he rested his chin in his hands. He sat there, and he waited.
"I can't believe you're here!" Ryuichi exclaimed--in English--for the upteenth time that hour as he, Naomi, Suguru, and Noriko all sat around one of the circular tables at the little cafe across the street from the hospital. Ryuichi had been talking non-stop since he saw her (not that him talking a lot is unusual), not even giving time to breathe regularly, thus resulting in big gasping gulps of air at random intervals of a never ending sentence.
"What exactly is he saying?" Suguru asked Noriko quietly, so as not to disturb the two others at the table. They had been speaking English since the girl had walked off the elevator with the singer firmly attached to her arm. She had said something to them earlier, which Suguru was almost sure was some sort of greeting since he heard K say it a few times (you never could tell with him), but since then her attention had been completely placed in whatever Ryuichi happened to be talking about.
"I'm not too sure, exactly." Noriko didn't know English either. She knew a few words, but the conversation was going too fast for her to get a clear picture on what they could talk about so much. More like Ryuichi talk about as the girl seemed content to just sit there and listen while nodding her head or inserting a word here or there.
The girl tensed so suddenly that it brought the two people's attention to her and to the solemn expression on Ryuichi's face. Her eyes shifted to Suguru and then to Noriko before resting on Ryuichi. She got up, grabbed Ryuichi's shirt, and marched off into the cafe, picking out the farthest booth to sit in in seclusion before she began to talk to Ryuichi in urgency.
Suguru blinked and heard his name called. Turning he saw Hiro and Ayaka standing across the street before the hospital. He waved them over and turned back to share a quick confused glance with Noriko who turned to glance over her shoulder at the two in the cafe, and they both picked up their drinks to take another sip simultaneously as Shuichi's best-friend and Eiri's ex-fiance approached, both with a multitude of questions ready to ask.
"Where is he?" was Hiro's immediate question.
Suguru pointed at the hospital wordlessly as he set down his drink again.
"Why aren't you with him then?" was Ayaka's first question.
"Someone's up with him now," Suguru answered as he began studying his nails.
"Naomi?" Suguru and Noriko looked at eachother again.
"Naomi?" Noriko asked.
"Shuichi's twin sister." The two looked over at the corner of the cafe where they could see the two almost hidden through the open door.
"No."
"Then who's with him? Is he alright?" Hiro asked.
"Eiri-san," Suguru said as he began to poke absently at the ice floating around in his drink. "The doctors told us that besides the fact that he has cancer he was okay for now and he was awake when that girl, Naomi was it?, went in to see him." Suguru looked up at him as he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and held it out to Hiro.
"What's that?" Hiro asked as he reached for it.
"Shuichi's room number." Hiro looked down at the number.
"He's alright though, right?" Suguru nodded and Hiro crumpled the paper up in his fist.
"Then he doesn't need to see me." Hiro seemed depressed to Suguru. The guitarist couldn't get Shuichi's words out of his head. 'Do us both a favor, Hiro.
And don't come after me.'
"Are you absolutely sure?" Naomi asked, still pale from the initial shock. Pain and something else flickered in her eyes.
Ryuichi nodded, his eyes the same as if he was standing on stage, singing. "I saw him, Naomi. He had the same violet eyes you and Shuichi have. It was him."
She closed her eyes, blocking off the portals to her soul. She stayed silent for a long moment and then took a deep breath. "When was this?"
"Last week." Naomi cursed under her breath, glaring off to the side at the napkins placed on the table in their black dispenser as if they were the focus of her problems.
She curled her hands under her chin as she rested her elbows on the table, looking now at the reflection of Hiro in the back mirror. "Tell me if you see him again," she whispered, her eyes narrowing in thought. If he really was alive, if he really was back in Japan-
"Let's go back to the others." She got up abruptly and weaved her way through the other tables scattered throughout the middle of the building and between the booths lining both walls. Ryuichi just looked after her in concern for a moment before he too got up and followed.
"Hello. I heard that Shindou Shuichi was admitted here just a few hours ago," the crisp voice of a young man asked the lady behind the information desk. She looked up his record on the computer and turned back to him.
"Yes he was. Are you family?" The man smiled slightly, as though he knew something that she didn't.
"Yes, you could say that. What room is he in?" Her eyes studied him, attempted to judge him, a chill having gone through her at that smile.
"Room 412." He smiled again, a full smile this time, and she felt almost sick.
"Thank you." And he was walking off now, heading towards Shindou's room.
---tbc
Yeah, I had an idea at the beginning, and decided that it wasn't going to work in a previous chapter. Change of mind. I'll make it work. I didn't have a clear picture of this story at first and sometime I'll probably revise this whole story so that it runs more smoothly. It's really annoying me now how choppy it seems to me.
Ryuichi used to live in America. Naomi came from America. They knew eachother there. Well, more like Naomi's friend knew him, worked at the producing company he was at, and she was introduced that way. Knowing that Shuichi adored him, she decided to get to know him.
The ending had two different ways. It could either end sweetly but sadly, or just sadly. I decided the "just sadly" one. I have another story (one that has already been planned a long time ago, unlike this one, so it should be flowing better) that will end happily. So yeah, y'all somewhat know the ending now.
But since I decided to change the ending again, the title doesn't work anymore (not like it really ever did). But this is a poem I wrote a long time ago and I found it again when I rearranged my room (again) and it was going to be part of the story. Not anymore. It is one out of three undepressing poems I have (I seem to have a lot of those. Some of them are actually really good. Horror poems, but better than my happy poems.).
I sit and watch the stars at night
And the moon that shines above
Reminding me of times so bright
And a not-so-distant love
I hum a tune of days gone by
And I sing a song so light
A dream whispered like a sigh
To hold to with all my might
Starlight, starbright
The first star I see tonight
Bring my love back to my side
Bring me back my light
I've seen pain now show me love
Take me to the stars above
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have my wish on the starbright
Fly me away on wings of moonlight
Take away my gloom
I'll see the world through your eyes
Then I'll take you to the moon
Come back to me and I'll give you all
Everything that I can and more
Let me be the one to fall
And carry me to twilight's door
Starlight, starbright
The first star I see tonight
Bring my love back to my side
Bring me back my light
I've seen pain now show me love
Take me to the star's above
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have my wish on the starlight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have my wish I wish tonight
And I want to thank everyone that has reviewed. Thank you!!! throws out Tohma plushies I LIKE Tohma. But here, have Eiri too. throws out Eiri plushies Aren't they just the cutest?