Help Me

And so there they are. After Abby wandering aimlessly around the city of Chicago on this windy night, this is what they have become. Abby and John, sitting with each other, well, more like mildly cuddling, as if everything is right in the world, with them, with their lives. For once, no drama. What's to come next? Neither one of them are sure. But they have been through a lot together and it was clear that they needed each other's help, the way it had always been done.

Abby's POV

"First, after I tell you this, I don't want you storming off to do something about it. In other words do something stupid. Ok?" I really don't want to start anything else and I need Carter to understand that. I look right into his eyes so that he understands my seriousness.

"Of course, Abby." He replies, nodding his head.

"Ok Where to start..."I sigh. Where did it really start? "You remember a few months ago, at Susan's birthday party? When Mark came with me? He actually wasn't working." This was a surprise of course. He was always working. " Well, it just so happened that a woman he works with was there, her husband was friends with Susan's husband. Anyway, a little while later he told me he had to go talk to her about something for a while. I didn't think anything of it at the time. He didn't come back for over an hour, Carter. Three guesses as to what he was doing? And I asked him about it, several times in fact, and he just said I should learn to mind my business. Can you believe that? I'm his wife, for crying out loud!"

Actually, Carter could believe that, he knew that Mark wasn't a good guy, but he knew what Abby would think and say if he told her as much. And so, he kept his mouth shut.

"Anyway, after that night, he was always coming home late form work, or going out late at night, claiming he forgot things, or that he had to meet some colleagues to prepare meetings and things. I always asked, but as usual he would ignore me or get angry. Then one day he grabbed me by the shoulders, really hard you know. I told him he was hurting me, He said the next time I asked he would hurt me, that he was really starting to get angry. He said I wouldn't want to be around, much less alive if he had to take his anger out on me." I look down at my hands and see that they are shaking now. Carter notices this too and takes my hands in his own, reminding me that he is here. I guess I should get this over with.

"I started taking on extra shifts, just so I wouldn't have to go home at night? Crazy isn't? I can't even feel safe, much less happy, in my own home? That and my husband doesn't even want to be my husband? I wonder why this happened to me, you know? How could I marry someone like this? What did I do to make him cheat on me? I know that's what he's doing. He left the numbers on his damn phone! He tells me I don't know shit, can you believe that? I know he's doing it, why can't he just tell me? He can tell me everything else to upset me but he can't tell me that "Yes, I have found someone else.""

I'm shaking my head, as if trying to deny it all. As if doing that will make everything go away. I'm a dreamer right?

"The other night, he came home with something, a gift bag but I don't know what was in it. I don't even care. I said, "Let me guess, another gift from your many admirers?" He got angry and said that he was tired of my attitude, how I was always in his business." I sigh. It's getting harder to breathe and I know any second now I'm going to let everything out. Cry the tears that I've been crying for the past several weeks. I told him that it was our marriage that he had just helped me end, and that it was my business. He said that it wasn't over until he said it was. That I would never leave him alone, that he wouldn't let me. He said that we would always be a family, that he wanted kids with me. I told him that if he though I would ever have his child, he was insane. I told him I didn't care and that I wanted him out of my house or I would call the police. And then, he slapped me. And punched me and hit me, did whatever else he did, I don't know. I don't even remember. I'm not going to try to either. I have the bruises, and that's too much." I take a deep breath. And there they are. The tears I've tried to hide form everyone." I haven't seen him since the other day. He was walking down the street with some woman I've never seen before, but that's no surprise. He maintains that "we" aren't over. You know I haven't been home in two days, at least not when he's there and he hasn't made any effort to find me?" Part of me is glad, but the fact that he really doesn't care, makes me even more furious, upset.

I look at Carter with pleading eyes, begging him to answer the unanswered question "What did I do to deserve this? Why...?" I break off, fall into Carter's arms and just cry. Of course the fact that my arms are bruised and I've recently been punched in the ribs, makes this quite uncomfortable. But I need Carter. I need his help; I need him to tell me things will be all right.

I never liked doing this, asking this really; but now I have no choice. "Help me." It comes out sort of muffled, because my face is right near his neck, but I know he can hear me when he pulls me even closer to him, if that's at all possible. It feels good to be near him, in his arms, it always has. He's all I need.