Secrets and Lies
Chapter 1: Disappear
Summary: Lily is stuck… her heart says one thing, but her mind doesn't want to hurt anyone else. Could a secret relationship develop? Didn't anyone ever tell her that secrets and lies only cause pain?
Rating: PG to PG-13… you never know.
Disclaimer: If for some strange reason you thought I owned any of this…well you're dumb… hehe, just kidding… but I still don't so … yeah
A/N: Hello, all. This is my first official RFR fic… I've been writing "The O.C." for a while now if any of ya'll are interested…check them out!… but this is my FIRST actual RFR… so, read, review, tell me what you think! Oh, the song is Disappear by Hoobastank… great song...
"Can you honestly tell me we have a good reason for being here?" Lily sighed turning around and focusing her gaze on Ray. "This is pretty much the worst music I have ever heard in my entire life. I say we ditch and go to Mickey's."
"I agree with Lily," Travis spoke. "School dances never were, and never will be my 'thing'."
"Oh come on guys, have some fun!" Ray yelled, trying to talk over the music. "We never do stuff like this! I mean, it's the first dance of the year, and we just won the biggest football game too! Go Cougars!"
"Ray's right… it is the first dance. After this, you two can be your normal, boring selves and go back to meditating and playing the guitar. But for now, just pretend to be normal teenagers; it's fun!" Robbie interjected, trying to get Lily and Travis dancing.
"5…4…3…2…1," Travis counted and on one both his and Lily's hands flew instinctively to their ears as the entire gym filled with the loud chanting of pretty much the entire student body.
"To the windowwwwwwww (to the window), to the wall (to the wall) till the sweat drips down my balls!" The entire gym chanted.
"Okay, it's safe guys," Ray replied, rolling his eyes, as he stopped singing.
"That song is so disturbing… you'd think they could play better music here? And with less…disturbing lyrics. Couldn't the sweat drip down his… forehead?" Lily ranted. "I'm so in the mood for some good emo right now."
"Lily, Lily, you must embrace the music. Be one with the music. Lil' Jon is danceable music. Dance Lily, dance!" Ray joked, grabbing her arms and moving them in the ultimate hip-hop motion of "waving your hands in the air like you just don't care".
"And this song is highly degrading," Travis added, "To all these bitches crawl? You think they could be a little less vulgar?"
"Trav, it's a song," Robbie said, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. "Like Ray said, embrace it!"
Lily shook Ray off just as the song ended and a slower, mellower one that she could deal with came on. Immediately Ray dropped her arms and recoiled to the wall. Travis gave Ray a look that clearly said 'why aren't you asking her to dance?'. Ray saw the look and shook his head, taking a few steps toward Travis.
"Swami, I can't ask her to dance," Ray whispered. "You don't get it… what if she says no? Travis… no… I… no." He finished and turned and walked out of the room.
"Then I will," Travis said to himself, and turned to Lily. "Well, since they're kind of forcing us to stay… would you like to dance?"
"Sure," Lily replied, and wrapped her arms around Travis' neck. "Besides, this isn't a half bad song. At least they're not playing The Reason."
"Yeah," he agreed, looking down at her as he listened to the lyrics of the song.
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you're here
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains only leaving
When you're next to me
Lily looked up at Travis, taking in all of his features. She just now realized how good looking he really was. He was dressed for a dance, in kaki pants and a black turtleneck sweater. Instead of the usual spikes his hair usually wore, he didn't really do anything to it tonight and it hung down right above his eyebrows, and around his ears. His eyes sparkled in the dim lighting, and his smile could light up the entire room. She leaned in closer to him, feeling his toned body against hers, and immediately wanting to stay like this forever.
Do you know that every time your near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Travis looked down at Lily, her beauty taking him aback. He had noticed her before, but never to this extent. The first time he saw her, he just wanted to hold her in his arms, and never let go. Then he got to know her, a little, and the feelings grew stronger. But then he got to know Ray. He knew how much, and how long Ray had liked Lily and couldn't even think about doing that to him. So he pushed the feelings away, trying his best not to act on them, although he had slipped a few times. But tonight he felt the feelings he hadn't felt in the longest time rise, and resurface. He just wanted to hold her like this for the rest of the night.
So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person the person that I need
Lily rested her head on Travis' shoulder, breathing in his scent, skimming the back of his neck with her fingers and sending chills down his spine. She didn't know the affect she had on him, nor did he know the affect he had on her. Lily's eyes fell shut as they danced in silence, but soon pulled her head up to look him in the eyes again. A slight blush covered her cheeks as she reached up and played with his hair a bit.
"I like it this way," she told him. "You should wear it like this more often."
"I… I'll take that into consideration," Travis sputtered, his heart racing. "I like you hair that way too." He added, playing with her hair that hung down around her face.
Lily rolled her eyes and laughed, considering this is how she wore it quite often. "I'll take that into consideration too," she replied, placing her hand back on his shoulder.
Do you know that every time your near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Can you make them disappear
Make them disappear
Robbie watched the two from the wall, unable to deny their chemistry, but also unable to stop feeling anger towards Travis. After all, Ray was his best friend, and had liked Lily for the longest time. Now Travis just swoops in and pretty much sweeps Lily off her feet. Shaking his head, he decided to go find Ray and keep him occupied, so he wouldn't see this whole scene unfolding.
He rushed out into the hallway just in time, seeing Ray about to walk through the doors.
"Hey, Ray!" Robbie called, standing right in his way. "What do you say we go…um… to Mickey's! Lily and Travis where right, this dance is lame!"
"You're just saying that because you don't have anyone to dance with," Ray joked. "Aw, is poor Robbie jealous of all those couples out there?"
"Haha, funny Ray," Robbie deadpanned. "No, I'm just saying, who wants to see a ton of people making out and grinding with each other to rap music. Not me, thank you very much."
"Robbie, come on," Ray said, pushing past his friend. "Only another like…hour left…"
"Ray wait-" he started but found himself too late because Ray had already been lost in the crowd. "Well, at least he won't find Lily and Travis in that mass of people."
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that your near
And I search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person, the person that I need
Lily gazed into Travis' eyes, drowning in their deep blue, losing herself in the mystique. Without thinking, or considering the repercussions, she placed her hand on the back of his neck and pulled his lips to hers in an innocent, but passionate kiss.
Do you know that every time your near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Travis' mind was swirling in circles, as he became lost in the girl he had considered his best friend for the past year or so. Now all he could think about was how wonderful her lips felt against his. He didn't want this moment to end, but knew it must when he felt her pull away.
Lily looked once again into his eyes. Someone wise once told her that you can see deep into someone's soul through their eyes. That wise person was now staring deeply into her own. Taking a breath she closed her eyes and leaned in for another, but abruptly pulled away when she heard a voice that she didn't know how she could deal with.
"What the hell is going on?" Ray's voice echoed through both of their ears.
Travis stepped away from Lily, as the last few notes of the song played. "Look, Ray, we were just dancing," he explained, then added quickly, "as friends."
He looked over, seeing the hurt in Lily's eyes when he added those last few words. Oh, how it killed him inside to see her like this, but he knew that it would cause Ray so much more pain than it would her. Besides, he could talk to her later and explain. Certainly she would understand, but Ray on the other hand was a different story. If he said anything remotely close to hinting that he liked Lily, or that they had kissed, Ray would hate him and hate between any of the four teens could cause a crash in RFR, and that's NOT what they needed now.
"You know what, guys," Lily spoke. "I- I think I'm gonna go. I'll see you on Monday. Bye." She finished and ran out the door before either of the two boys could get another word in.
"What did you do to her Swami?" Ray asked, anger rising in her voice.
"I didn't do anything, Ray," he replied, calmly, still watching where she ran out the door. "But there is something you can do."
"And what's that?" he asked, curiously.
"Tell her how you feel," he explained, every word killing him inside. He wanted to be the one to tell Lily how he felt. How he thought about her every day, and how good they would be together. How when he held her in his arms, he couldn't be happier, and never wanted those moments to end. And how when they kissed… he felt things he had never felt before in his life. But he couldn't. No, Ray had to first. If, and only if, she turned Ray down, and he accepted it, he would tell her. Until then… he just had to be patient and live for the stolen kisses, soft touches, and deep conversations. Like the quote said…if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with. "If you never let her know your feelings, you will never know what her true feelings are."
"Thanks man," Ray said, putting his hand on Travis' back. "But, you don't understand. I can't tell her. You don't know how many times I've tried, it's not quite that simple. Something always happens… it's like she isn't supposed to know. I don't know why, but I just can't."
Travis sighed. "It's all you can do, Ray. Otherwise, someone else might come up and steal her from right under your nose."
Ray just looked at him, not speaking, but Travis knew what he was thinking. He knew that Ray had never thought about it that way before.
"Well, I better get going," Travis told him, patting him on the back. "Remember what I said…" And with those words, he was gone. As soon as he reached the outside, he broke into a sprint. He didn't need to give Ray any more words of wisdom… and he needed to see Lily. She knew she wouldn't be at home, or at Micky's alone. So he hurried to the only place he knew she would be… the station.
A/N: So, that's my story… like it? Hate it? Love it? Well, get reviewing then! Tell me whatever… sometimes telling an author their story is crap helps them :-) I said sometimes… haha next chapter due up soon hopefully… this is a write as I go type thing, so… who knows! I have it mapped out though, don't worry!