Secrets and Lies
Chapter 2: Undiscovered
Summary: Lily is stuck… her heart says one thing, but her mind doesn't want to hurt anyone else. Could a secret relationship develop? Didn't anyone ever tell her that secrets and lies only cause pain?
Rating: PG to PG-13… you never know.
Disclaimer: If for some strange reason you thought I owned any of this…well you're dumb… hehe, just kidding… but I still don't so … yeah
A/N: Hello again, thanks to everyone who reviewed! Keep it up! The song in this chapter is Undiscoveredby Ashlee Simpson. Read and Review por favor!? haha sry, I had originally posted Unreachable as the song, LoL, although that IS a song by her, it isn't this one! Thanks to Trish and Jeffy 4ever for catching that! LoL
Travis stopped at the steps to the underground, taking a moment to catch his breath before he went in. The sounds of Dashboard Confessional filled his ears as his hand gripped the handle, and now he was sure Lily was in there. She had said earlier that night she could go for some "good emo", and that's exactly what she was doing. She was drowning herself in the lyrics, trying to relate every word to her very life… just then the music stopped abruptly and a new voice replaced the whiney one of vocalist Chris Carrabba.
Take it back take it all back now
The things I gave
Like the taste of my kiss on you lips
I miss that now
I cant try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave
Excuses I made for you
Are broken in two
Travis let go of the door handle, and listened to the words of the new artist, Ashlee Simpson, blare over the stereo. This time, it seemed, unlike the Dashboard lyrics, that these actually did relate to her life and his. God, why was he such a fool…and a coward none-the-less? Why couldn't he just go in there and tell her his feelings? What was so difficult about that?
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you, yeah I need you
Don't walk away
Reaching once again for the handle, this time he actually cracked the door open, and saw Lily sitting at her normal spot, tears slipping down her cheeks. Travis wanted to cry himself. She thought that kiss meant nothing to him… she thought he just wanted to be friends. He had to talk to her… tell her the truth. But…he couldn't do that to Ray… no, he wouldn't do that to him.
Touch me now how I wanna feel something so real
Please remind me, my love, take me back
Cause I'm so in love with what we were
I'm not breathing I'm suffocating
Without you, do you feel it too?
Lily sat in her usual chair in the station, letting the words of the song fill her head. Why couldn't Travis feel the same way she did? Why did he only want to be friends? Maybe she should just accept it. Maybe she should just try and get back to the way they used to be… What happened to that? They used to tell each other everything… but ever since that first kiss, things have been so much different. God, she needed to talk to him.
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you, yeah I need you
Finally, after a minute or so of waiting and listening to Lily, Travis couldn't take it anymore. He opened the door and walked over to her, instinctively wrapping his arms around her in a loving hug. For moments they sat there, just feeling comfortable in the other's warm embrace. Finally Travis broke away, tears brimming his eyes.
"I am so sorry Lily," he whispered, wiping her tears away with his thumb. "Lily I… I…" He stopped. There it was, the thing Ray had been talking about. He couldn't say it… he couldn't get it out. He couldn't tell Lily how he felt.
Before he knew it though, Lily had pressed her lips against his for the second time tonight. His heart raced, as he pulled her closer, responding immediately to the kiss. Once again, he never wanted this moment to end. He wanted to hold her in his arms forever, and just know that she would always be there. He wanted this more than anything in the world… but there was still a problem… Ray.
When I'm in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door
It's then I know my heart is whole
There's a million reasons why I cry
Pull my covers tight and close my eyes
Cause I don't wanna be alone
Travis pulled away, and said the words that he knew he would regret for a long, long time. "Lily, we can't do this."
Tears quickly reformed in her eyes, falling faster than the before. She wanted this so bad. In her heart, her soul, her mind… she knew Travis might just be "the one". Never before had she believed that there was someone out there made for you, but now she did. Everything told her that Travis was that man… the one she was supposed to be with. But he wasn't allowing it.
When she didn't say anything, Travis continued. "Lily, you have to know, I care about you very deeply. And as much as I shouldn't, I want to be with you too. But…I can't do that to Ray. Ray has liked you…well, ever since I met you three. If anything happens between us, it could put RFR in danger. So, there is no other way we can do this. Lily, we can't be together."
"But I don't want to be with Ray!" she shouted. "Travis, I want to be with you! Even if we weren't together, I still wouldn't be with Ray! Travis…"
"I'm sorry Lily, but this…we can't happen," he replied, standing up. "I'm sorry." And with those last few words, and tears threatening to burst any moment, he headed for the door and left the station, leaving Lily with only her music and tears.
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you, I need you
Lily sat, staring blankly at the door minutes after Travis exited. She lost him… and all because Ray had some silly crush on her. She lost Travis, and things definitely would never be the same. Wiping her tears away, she picked up her cell phone and dialed.
"Mom," she said when she heard the familiar voice on the other end. "I'm going to stay at the station tonight, okay? I'll see you tomorrow. Love you too. Bye."
Closing the phone, she stood up and headed over to the little refrigerator they kept there. A can of Sprite, a few slices of pizza that were there for God knows how long, and a Snickers bar were the only things to choose from. After deciding the Sprite was her safest bet, she grabbed it and headed over to the couch. Tonight was going to be a long one.
Cause I can't fake and I can't hate
But it's my heart that's about to break
You're all I need I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed would you listen please
I give in, I breathe out
I want you, there's no doubt
I freak out, I'm left out
Without you, I'm without
I'm crossed out, I'm kicked out
I cry out, I reach out
Don't walk away, don't walk away
Don't walk away, don't walk away
Travis walked solemnly down the street, finally letting his tears escape. Why did he do that? Why couldn't he just risk having Ray mad for a little? He would surely get over it…wouldn't he? After all, Ray and Lily were such good friends; there was nothing that could break that bond.
Travis finally stopped, but was nowhere near his house. It was the spot he and Lily used to come when one of them needed to talk; they told each other almost everything. He loved just lying there, talking about stupid little things like how dumb Ray acted on the show today, or deep things, like when he thought he had to move again.
Lying down in the grass, at his usual spot, he sighed. He had to leave Lily be. She would find happiness with Ray… or some other guy. Seeking a future, or even just a fling with her would only hurt RFR. What if Ray never got over her? What if they broke up? It would put it in sever danger, and he would not let that happen. They worked too hard to have it all come crashing down.
Closing his eyes, he let his final tears slide down his cheeks. He wouldn't shed anymore tears for what couldn't be…he couldn't. Unless Ray suddenly got over Lily, there was nothing he could do, and crying wouldn't help. Besides, his father had always told him that men don't cry… it was a sign of weakness. Well, Travis had a weakness…just one thing that could make him do the impossible, and now, he was giving her up.
After sitting for a while, his eyes began to feel heavy, shutting ever so slightly with every moment. Seconds later he was fast asleep in the middle of the park.
A/N: So this chapter was shorter… but that doesn't mean fewer reviews! Keep em up guys! Tell me what you think!