Gohan screeched as Spopovich slammed Videl in the face with his fist.
"Calm down, Gohan," said Goku, his voice muffled by popcorn. "I'm sure Videl is just toying with him. Soon she'll go Super Saiyajin and finish him with a Final Flash!"
"You're thinking of VEGETA, dad! Not VIDEL!"
Videl staggered backwards, and spun another kick that hit Spopovich but didn't faze the big man. She dodged two punches that split the ring beneath her. Everybody gasped as Videl rolled underneath a third punch and slammed Spopovich in the back, knocking him over.
"So," said Goku, turning to Vegeta, "What's it like being the daughter of Mr. Satan?"
-------
"Check," said Babidi.
Yakon frowned, and pushed a pawn with his talon.
"No, Yakon," said Babidi patiently. "Pawns can't jump across the board and take out the King." He sighed. "I wonder where Dabura and Pui-Pui have gone? No Yakon bad Yakon don't eat my King!"
Meanwhile, in the Gravity Holodeck of Space and Time....
"Faster, Pui-Pui!" Dabura pressed some more buttons. "The giant spiked ball is getting closer to you!"
"I can't... run... much... faster," gasped Pui-Pui, glancing over his shoulder. The giant spiked ball was indeed getting closer. "Slow it down, Dabura!"
"What's that? You want me to increase the gravity?"
"No! Slow it down!"
"Increase the gravity, did you say?"
"NO! SLOW THE BALL DOWN!"
Dabura shrugged. "I would have advised against it, but very well, I shall increase the gravity. 200x should do it."
"Gah," said Pui-Pui, as an invisible fist nailed him to the ground and the spiked ball rumbled over him. "Okay, Dabura, I think I just lost my kidney."
Dabura frowned, and strolled over to where Pui-Pui was busily dying. "Pui-Pui! How will we ever get past this simple stage of training if you keep getting killed?"
"It's not my fault," whimpered Pui-Pui. "The ninjas weren't so bad, and I got through the pit of fire okay, but I think making me fight those giant acid-spitting snakes was going a bit far. Can't I take a break?"
"A break!" Dabura snarled. "A break!? Can you imagine that if you were fighting a giant two-headed behemoth with razor-sharp titanium teeth, claws ten miles wide and a body made out of radiated magma, he would give you the chance to take a break?"
"Yes, but Dabura, let's be rational here. There is no chance I'd ever have to fight something like that."
"Or IS there?" said Dabura, reaching for a button.
-------
Videl's face slammed into the ring. Spopovich pinned her there with his boot and began to dance violently on her struggling body.
"Hooray!" said Goku.
"No, dad! It's not 'hooray'! Videl is getting beaten up!"
Goku frowned. "But that's good, Gohan! Now Videl and Nappa can't gather all the Dragonballs and wish for immortality!"
Gohan closed his eyes and counted to ten. "Dad, you're getting Videl and Vegeta confused again."
"Can you blame me? They have such similar names! Besides, I make up for my bad memory with my excellent schoolwork."
"That's me, dad! Gohan! You're Goku!"
"Ohhhhh," said Goku. "That explains a lot."
Videl rolled to one side and staggered to her feet, wiping blood from her forehead. She had enough time to glance up at Spopovich's leering face as his fist thundered directly into her shoulder and sent her flying backwards.
"Oh, it's horrible," said the announcer. "Videl is being slaughtered by that brute Spopovich! He won't stop his relentless rampage!"
As Videl regained her balance again, Spopovich's shoulder smacked into her chest and winded her. It was followed by a giant hammer blow to the head, leaving another open wound on her face. Realising that she was losing her youthful good looks, Videl decided it was time to use her winning card. She lightly leapt from her feet and began to rise into the air.
"Videl is flying!" screamed the announcer. "Or is she being abducted by aliens!? You make up your mind, ladies and gentlemen, because I have no idea what the hell is going on!"
Sharpener and Eraser watched Videl's ascent into the air with awe. "Did you know she could do that?" said Eraser.
"More importantly, why are we named after things you'll find in a pencil case?" said Sharpener. "Doesn't that strike you as kind of creepy?"
"That's the spirit, Videl!" Gohan did the Gohan Dance of Joy, causing Piccolo to clamp down his shoulder. The Namek shook his head.
"We agreed, Gohan. The Gohan Dance of Joy is stupid."
"But Piccolo!"
"It's a stupid, stupid dance, Gohan."
Gohan hung his head. "Okay." He took off the clown wig and stopped honking his horn. "But you see, Videl is going to have time to recover in the air and plan her strategy. Why, that big lump of a Spopovich is in trouble now!"
"Indeed," said Piccolo. "We're lucky Spopovich can't fly."
"That's right, Piccolo." Goku nodded wisely. "It's fortunate Spopovich can't fly at all."
"Man, we're lucky Spopovich can't fly!"
"You can say that again, Krillin! If Spopovich could fly, Videl is going to be doomed!"
"He's flying," said Vegeta.
"What? Vegeta, are you just trying to be different again?"
Vegeta glared. "Look, if you'd stop staring at me, you'd notice that Spopovich is flying."
The announcer spat foam all over his microphone. "And Spopovich is also flying! Or is he inhaling helium that causes his body to hover slowly upwards?! Who can say!? I have no idea what the hell is going on here and I think I'm going to have to get paid extra for all the stress I'm enduring here!"
"Very clever, Vegeta!" Goku folded his arms. "Mimicking the announcer and throwing your voice like that!"
"I'm not trying to trick you, Spopovich is flying, damnit!"
"Oh, no," murmured Videl. A wave of exhaustion hit her. What was she going to do now?
Spopovich finished his ascent a few metres higher than Videl, and the muscular monster grinned down at her, his chest heaving and sweat dripping down his body. Then he lifted his hand and a ball of blue ki began to encircle it. Videl's eyes widened. "What is that?"
"Kakarotto!!" Vegeta pointed furiously. "Look!! He's firing a ki blast!!!"
"Yeah, right," said Goku. "You just want us to turn around and look at Spopovich, and then you'll say 'Ha ha! I tricked you! I am the Prince of all Saiyajin once again!' Not this time, Vegeta!"
"A ki blast," said Gohan, shaking his head. "Oh, Vegeta, you must think we're so gullible."
Videl watched helplessly as Spopovich's ball of energy solidifed and then erupted from his hand in a single straight beam, smashing into her chest and pushing her helplessly into the ring with incredible force. The crowd gasped in horror.
"See!" Vegeta stamped his foot, enraged. "She's all dead now, you idiots!"
"Now that's just not funny, Vegeta!" Gohan waved an angry finger. "Making jokes about Videl like that!"
"Actually," said Piccolo.
"How would you like it if I was to say Bulma had just been hit by a ki blast? Would you like that? No!"
"Actually," said Piccolo.
"Or maybe you think it's funny because you're some crazy Saiyajin? Well, guess what, Vegeta! I never did like your hair! I thought it was stupid!"
"Actually, Gohan, he was right. Spopovich just fired a ki blast at Videl and she's hit the ring."
Gohan blinked. "Ah." He spun to face the ring. "Videl! Nooooooo!"
"My hair is cool," Vegeta muttered to himself, still in mild shock. "My hair is cool. My hair is cool."
With no compassion for the injured, Spopovich resumed beating up Videl, who was still awake but barely able to fight back as the giant warrior slammed her against the ring and pounded her face until her black hair was streaked with blood.
"I can't take much more of this," said Gohan, his fists clenching. "He's a monster."
"Now, Gohan," said Goku. "Don't get angry!"
"Look at what he's doing to Videl!"
"Think happy thoughts, Gohan," Piccolo commanded. "Think of butterflies!"
"My hair is cool," Vegeta chanted, his eyes glassy. "My hair is cool. My hair is cool."
"Oh, the suffering," moaned the announcer. "It's like watching a young girl being beaten up by a giant muscular man. I don't think I can stand to watch any more!"
Gohan's scarf began to slip from his head, and energy began to flare from his body. His hair shimmered yellow and began to rise. "How can they do this... I'll kill him! I'll never forgive him!"
"No, Gohan!" Piccolo ran forward. "Think of the butterflies!"
"Don't try to stop me! Spopovich! I'm coming for you!"
Vegeta turned desperately to Piccolo. "Piccolo, be honest; what do you think of my hair?"
"Calm down, Gohan," said Goku, his voice muffled by popcorn. "I'm sure Videl is just toying with him. Soon she'll go Super Saiyajin and finish him with a Final Flash!"
"You're thinking of VEGETA, dad! Not VIDEL!"
Videl staggered backwards, and spun another kick that hit Spopovich but didn't faze the big man. She dodged two punches that split the ring beneath her. Everybody gasped as Videl rolled underneath a third punch and slammed Spopovich in the back, knocking him over.
"So," said Goku, turning to Vegeta, "What's it like being the daughter of Mr. Satan?"
-------
"Check," said Babidi.
Yakon frowned, and pushed a pawn with his talon.
"No, Yakon," said Babidi patiently. "Pawns can't jump across the board and take out the King." He sighed. "I wonder where Dabura and Pui-Pui have gone? No Yakon bad Yakon don't eat my King!"
Meanwhile, in the Gravity Holodeck of Space and Time....
"Faster, Pui-Pui!" Dabura pressed some more buttons. "The giant spiked ball is getting closer to you!"
"I can't... run... much... faster," gasped Pui-Pui, glancing over his shoulder. The giant spiked ball was indeed getting closer. "Slow it down, Dabura!"
"What's that? You want me to increase the gravity?"
"No! Slow it down!"
"Increase the gravity, did you say?"
"NO! SLOW THE BALL DOWN!"
Dabura shrugged. "I would have advised against it, but very well, I shall increase the gravity. 200x should do it."
"Gah," said Pui-Pui, as an invisible fist nailed him to the ground and the spiked ball rumbled over him. "Okay, Dabura, I think I just lost my kidney."
Dabura frowned, and strolled over to where Pui-Pui was busily dying. "Pui-Pui! How will we ever get past this simple stage of training if you keep getting killed?"
"It's not my fault," whimpered Pui-Pui. "The ninjas weren't so bad, and I got through the pit of fire okay, but I think making me fight those giant acid-spitting snakes was going a bit far. Can't I take a break?"
"A break!" Dabura snarled. "A break!? Can you imagine that if you were fighting a giant two-headed behemoth with razor-sharp titanium teeth, claws ten miles wide and a body made out of radiated magma, he would give you the chance to take a break?"
"Yes, but Dabura, let's be rational here. There is no chance I'd ever have to fight something like that."
"Or IS there?" said Dabura, reaching for a button.
-------
Videl's face slammed into the ring. Spopovich pinned her there with his boot and began to dance violently on her struggling body.
"Hooray!" said Goku.
"No, dad! It's not 'hooray'! Videl is getting beaten up!"
Goku frowned. "But that's good, Gohan! Now Videl and Nappa can't gather all the Dragonballs and wish for immortality!"
Gohan closed his eyes and counted to ten. "Dad, you're getting Videl and Vegeta confused again."
"Can you blame me? They have such similar names! Besides, I make up for my bad memory with my excellent schoolwork."
"That's me, dad! Gohan! You're Goku!"
"Ohhhhh," said Goku. "That explains a lot."
Videl rolled to one side and staggered to her feet, wiping blood from her forehead. She had enough time to glance up at Spopovich's leering face as his fist thundered directly into her shoulder and sent her flying backwards.
"Oh, it's horrible," said the announcer. "Videl is being slaughtered by that brute Spopovich! He won't stop his relentless rampage!"
As Videl regained her balance again, Spopovich's shoulder smacked into her chest and winded her. It was followed by a giant hammer blow to the head, leaving another open wound on her face. Realising that she was losing her youthful good looks, Videl decided it was time to use her winning card. She lightly leapt from her feet and began to rise into the air.
"Videl is flying!" screamed the announcer. "Or is she being abducted by aliens!? You make up your mind, ladies and gentlemen, because I have no idea what the hell is going on!"
Sharpener and Eraser watched Videl's ascent into the air with awe. "Did you know she could do that?" said Eraser.
"More importantly, why are we named after things you'll find in a pencil case?" said Sharpener. "Doesn't that strike you as kind of creepy?"
"That's the spirit, Videl!" Gohan did the Gohan Dance of Joy, causing Piccolo to clamp down his shoulder. The Namek shook his head.
"We agreed, Gohan. The Gohan Dance of Joy is stupid."
"But Piccolo!"
"It's a stupid, stupid dance, Gohan."
Gohan hung his head. "Okay." He took off the clown wig and stopped honking his horn. "But you see, Videl is going to have time to recover in the air and plan her strategy. Why, that big lump of a Spopovich is in trouble now!"
"Indeed," said Piccolo. "We're lucky Spopovich can't fly."
"That's right, Piccolo." Goku nodded wisely. "It's fortunate Spopovich can't fly at all."
"Man, we're lucky Spopovich can't fly!"
"You can say that again, Krillin! If Spopovich could fly, Videl is going to be doomed!"
"He's flying," said Vegeta.
"What? Vegeta, are you just trying to be different again?"
Vegeta glared. "Look, if you'd stop staring at me, you'd notice that Spopovich is flying."
The announcer spat foam all over his microphone. "And Spopovich is also flying! Or is he inhaling helium that causes his body to hover slowly upwards?! Who can say!? I have no idea what the hell is going on here and I think I'm going to have to get paid extra for all the stress I'm enduring here!"
"Very clever, Vegeta!" Goku folded his arms. "Mimicking the announcer and throwing your voice like that!"
"I'm not trying to trick you, Spopovich is flying, damnit!"
"Oh, no," murmured Videl. A wave of exhaustion hit her. What was she going to do now?
Spopovich finished his ascent a few metres higher than Videl, and the muscular monster grinned down at her, his chest heaving and sweat dripping down his body. Then he lifted his hand and a ball of blue ki began to encircle it. Videl's eyes widened. "What is that?"
"Kakarotto!!" Vegeta pointed furiously. "Look!! He's firing a ki blast!!!"
"Yeah, right," said Goku. "You just want us to turn around and look at Spopovich, and then you'll say 'Ha ha! I tricked you! I am the Prince of all Saiyajin once again!' Not this time, Vegeta!"
"A ki blast," said Gohan, shaking his head. "Oh, Vegeta, you must think we're so gullible."
Videl watched helplessly as Spopovich's ball of energy solidifed and then erupted from his hand in a single straight beam, smashing into her chest and pushing her helplessly into the ring with incredible force. The crowd gasped in horror.
"See!" Vegeta stamped his foot, enraged. "She's all dead now, you idiots!"
"Now that's just not funny, Vegeta!" Gohan waved an angry finger. "Making jokes about Videl like that!"
"Actually," said Piccolo.
"How would you like it if I was to say Bulma had just been hit by a ki blast? Would you like that? No!"
"Actually," said Piccolo.
"Or maybe you think it's funny because you're some crazy Saiyajin? Well, guess what, Vegeta! I never did like your hair! I thought it was stupid!"
"Actually, Gohan, he was right. Spopovich just fired a ki blast at Videl and she's hit the ring."
Gohan blinked. "Ah." He spun to face the ring. "Videl! Nooooooo!"
"My hair is cool," Vegeta muttered to himself, still in mild shock. "My hair is cool. My hair is cool."
With no compassion for the injured, Spopovich resumed beating up Videl, who was still awake but barely able to fight back as the giant warrior slammed her against the ring and pounded her face until her black hair was streaked with blood.
"I can't take much more of this," said Gohan, his fists clenching. "He's a monster."
"Now, Gohan," said Goku. "Don't get angry!"
"Look at what he's doing to Videl!"
"Think happy thoughts, Gohan," Piccolo commanded. "Think of butterflies!"
"My hair is cool," Vegeta chanted, his eyes glassy. "My hair is cool. My hair is cool."
"Oh, the suffering," moaned the announcer. "It's like watching a young girl being beaten up by a giant muscular man. I don't think I can stand to watch any more!"
Gohan's scarf began to slip from his head, and energy began to flare from his body. His hair shimmered yellow and began to rise. "How can they do this... I'll kill him! I'll never forgive him!"
"No, Gohan!" Piccolo ran forward. "Think of the butterflies!"
"Don't try to stop me! Spopovich! I'm coming for you!"
Vegeta turned desperately to Piccolo. "Piccolo, be honest; what do you think of my hair?"