A/N: okay I am putting a warning at the beginning of this chapter because it is going to get a little rough. There is some adult language, not a whole lot I did tried to keep it moderated and this chapter touches on Spousal abuse, both the emotional and physical sides.
Pain hidden in your eyes.
Carter parked his jeep in a space and headed up to the SICU. He stopped at the nurses' station to let them know that he was there before heading down the hallway to her room. Carter looked at Anna laying there almost with a look of defeat on her face as she slept. She was as beautiful to him as the day that he left county. She looked the same on the outside, but inside, that is where he was sure that she was a very different Anna.
Carter stood there for a minute watching her, before taking that deep breath and crossing over to the bed. He sat down in a chair next to it. She was not going to wake up alone in this hospital. All those times that he had woken up alone, afraid, and scared after the stabbing. He hoped that being there would let her know that he could be trusted. That no matter what was going on in her life that he was her friend. He watched her start to stir from her sleep. As she came from the land of dreams, Carter leaned over the bed rail, "hey there sleepy head." He found himself pushing the stray hair from her eyes, more of a playful gesture than the loving one it used to be.
"Hey there yourself," Anna said as she opened her eyes.
"You're looking better this morning." He said, "Do you feel any better?"
"Yes and no," was Anna's reply as she shifted in the bed trying to get more comfortable.
"Well that's better than an absolute not." He said smiling at her. "I thought that you might like some company while you are recuperating. That and we have a lot of catching up to do there missy. You've been gone a long time."
Anna tried to smile, "yeah we do. So tell me Dr. Carter, how's life treating you."
"Good," he said not taking his eyes off her, "things are going really well. I just finished up as chief resident and I'm an attending down in the ER now."
"Five years Carter, what did you take the long road?" She asked.
"You could say that." He said, she was keeping the conversation focused on him, "there were a few bumps in the road on my way to completing my residency, but they are behind me now. Tell me now what has the great Dr. Del Amico been up to? Surely you have finished double boarding now and have some great career going for you." This was his feeble attempt to shift the conversation back to her.
"Yeah I wrapped that up and I'm working at a hospital in Philadelphia right now. Max and I are here for a conference on Pediatrics." She said not wanting to go into much detail about her life with him, the less anyone else knew the better of she would be. She did not want Max getting upset with her going on about her personal life with Carter of all people. A few days and she would be on her back to leading the same life in Philadelphia and could forget that she had even been in Chicago. "The sooner I can get back the better I'll be. No offense here Carter but Chicago just is not the city for me. I tried it once and it didn't fit then and it doesn't fit now either."
"I'm not telling you, you have to stay in Chicago, well you do for a little while until you get better." He said looking at her will all honesty trying to figure out what she was hiding. Behind those eyes of hers' he could see the pain that she was trying desperately for no one else to see. "I'm just trying to catch up with an old friend who happened to come into my ER the hard way."
"I know Carter." She said withdrawing a little more from him, "it's just that there really isn't that much to talk about. Max and I got married a couple of years ago. It felt like the right thing to do, you know, I mean I was unhappy with out him in my life and now he is there all the time. It is what I wanted and now it is what I have. I am a busy pediatrician too, 12 hour shift in an ER. It's what I've worked all my life for and now, I finally have it."
Her voice was not telling him that she was the happily married woman that she was trying to project. He chose his words carefully as he thought of the best way to broach the subject. He did not want to upset her, but he felt the need to push her little to talk to him, to open up and really talk to him. He wanted her to know that he could see through the façade that she was putting up.
"It's okay Anna; if you are happy I am happy for you." Carter said softly, "forgive me for asking, but I really feel that I need to, even after all this time." Carter paused unsure of how to say this other than to come out and say it rather bluntly. "Is Max still using?"
Her deep silence gave him the answer that he needed whether or not she knew it. He watched her face change as she tried to come up with an answer, a lie, her eyes giving away that she wasn't going to be honest with him, "of course not Carter. He has not done that in years. I told you when I left Chicago that he was clean and he has been ever since."
"Hey, hey now, you don't have to defend him to me." He said taking her hand into his, "I just worry about you, you're one of my friends and that's what I do."
Carter watched as Max walked into the room and Anna completely changed, as if into a different person altogether. Whatever self-confidence that she had left the minute he came waltzing in.
"Hey honey." She said so soft-spoken that her voice barely carried across the room.
"Anna baby," Max said as he approached the other side of the bed, and kissed the top of her head. "I was so worried about you. I am glad that you are okay. You gave all of us a good scare there. I wanted to check on you before I headed over to another meeting." Max turned to Carter, with his temper short, "thank you for keeping an eye on MY wife, Dr. Carter, I'm sure that she appreciates the extra attention that you have been able to pay her, but if you don't mind I would like a few minutes alone with her before I have to leave."
Carter got up to leave the room, "hey I'll be back after bit to check on you again before I leave the hospital." He was out the door shortly after saying it, not wanting to upset Max even more than he already appeared to be, not that he wanted to leave Anna alone with that man, but they were in a hospital what could he do….Carter almost didn't want to think about the answer to that.
Max watched the door go shut completely before he even thought about saying anything to his wife. His temper was flaring and he was not happy that she was sitting in there being all buddy-buddy with an ex-boyfriend, well ex-something or other. He knew that Carter and Anna had never really had the time to get a relationship going but he knew that they had been close until Max had gotten her out of Chicago. He was going to remind her of her place. "What do you think you are doing?" He snapped at her grabbing her by the hair pulling her face so that she was now looking up at him.
"Max let go please that hurts." She cried keeping her voice as low as she could so that no one would hear, "we were just talking. I did not ask him to come here. He was sitting in here when I woke up baby, really there is nothing going on. I did not say anything to him. Please, please let go."
He yanked her head up off the bed so that it was closer to him, "you'd better be telling me the truth, or so help me god Anna you will regret more than you have regretted anything in your life." Saying that he slammed her head back down onto the bed as he flung her away from him, "I don't care what you tell him or how you tell him, but I do not want to see him in this room again." Max's anger from being late fully directed at her. It was so easy to take his frustrations out on his wife, "you have made me late for more than one meeting this weekend you stupid whore, don't push your limits with me. We will be going home when my meetings are done, and if that means you sign out AMA then you had better do it."
"Max, my god I had my spleen removed, my liver sewn back together and you are expecting me to walk out of here in less than 2 days, what do I look like superwoman?" Anna said her eyes almost pleading with him.
"You will do what you are told. You faithless little bitch. Don't you dare talk back to me, if you know what's good for you, you will shut the hell up." He said bringing his hand across her face. "You are my good for nothing, low lying, and worth-less, wife. You are nothing with out me. You would have nothing with out me. Nothing, you cannot do anything right, you only have that job of yours because I pulled some strings and got it for you. You owe me more than you can ever pay back Anna. So don't you even think about telling that little friend of yours a damn thing about our lives. You are not to talk to anyone the rest of the time that you are here, because I know that you can't keep your bloody mouth shut."
Anna could feel her cheek stinging almost on fire from where his hand connected with it. She brought her hand up to cover it as she fought back the tears that were once again forming in her eyes. At least right now, she was so black and blue that no one would notice a little more bruising.
He grabbed her arm-twisting it into an extremely unnatural position causing pain to shake thru her once again. "Don't fight me on this one Anna, you lose every time, this time won't be any different. When I get back Dr. baby-face out there had better be long gone and not coming back." He put more pressure on her arm, "do you understand me?"
Anna shook her head in agreement praying now that he would let go of her arm before it snapped in two. "Yes I understand you."
She watched as he stormed out of the room. It was the same story just a different day. Anna had been at the receiving end of his anger since shortly after they had gotten married. Things were honestly good between them for the first year that they were married, but after that it all went downhill, and it went downhill fast. She lay back against the bed curling up with her back to the door so that no one could see her tears falling into her pillow.