The mighty steel doors hammered again, shuddering from the outside.
"Go away!"
"Listen," said the bulky blue demon hammering at the door, "I'm getting tired of this. I've been standing here for three long years waiting to talk to The King, and I'm getting just a tiny bit impatient!"
"Great King Dabura is very busy!"
"There's a line out here two kilometres wide! How can we go about our daily lives of evil torment if we don't get help from the King of the Demon World, hey?"
The voice sighed, and then the doors slowly drew back, revealing the opulent (and rather dusty) expanse of Dabura's throne room. The blue demon took a cautious step inside.
"Lord Dabura?" he called, rather unneasy. "I'm sorry I had to barge in and knock on your door so loudly, but it's rather important..."
"Come closer," said Dabura, sitting on his throne.
The blue demon walked a little closer.
"Not that close!" snapped Dabura, wobbling dangerously. The blue demon blinked as one of Dabura's ears slowly began to droop until a small hand reached up and flicked it back into position.
"Are you okay--"
"Do not question me! I am fine!" The demon noticed that Dabura's mouth wasn't moving with his speech so much as his head was bobbing around frantically. Also, Dabura's eyes were suspiciously bright and shiny, almost like glass beads. And... was he made out of felt?
"I am in fine health and very well," bellowed Johnny, sweating profusely from inside the Dabura hand-puppet. "I am Dabura the Great King of the Demon World! Rargh! Rooar! Rargh!"
"Are you SURE you're okay, sire? I remember you used to have, well, a torso. And legs."
"I do not need them! I have moved beyond such things!" The Dabura doll capered angrily from left to right, ears flopping wildly. "Now, speak what you must, or else I shall spit upon you with my ferocious spit!"
The blue demon dropped to his knee. "Oh great Dabura!" he beseeched. "I beseech you! Please, my family is starving, ever since you mysteriously stopped appearing every week to beat up the bandits who steal our demon crops!"
"Oh yeah?" The Dabura puppet hopped indignantly. "I just beat them up so fast you didn't see it!"
"But great Lord, they just stroll into our farms and steal all our evil, demonic crops! I have seen them!"
"No you haven't."
"Yes, I have!" The blue demon paused. "Lord Dabura, are you sure you are well? Your voice sounds different."
"Raargh! Snarl snarl growl! I am fine! I am merely changing my voice for fun! I am a wacky and loveable lord of the Demon World! Now go, go forth, make Dabura proud! Ride into the sunset!"
"But--"
"Go on! Out you go! Hop hop hop! Back to work!" The puppet clapped its little stuffed hands together. "Quickly now!"
The blue demon retreated backwards. "The crops--"
"Oh no! Ninjas! Hundreds of them! Run, I'll hold them off!"
The blue demon wailed and fled through the door, slamming it shut behind him. The resonating slam almost sent Johnny rolling off his pudgy little claws. He pulled the Dabura puppet off his head, wiped his forehead, and let out a long, resigned sigh.
"When are you coming back?" Johnny wondered aloud, then puddled to his little drawer of Johnny's Hopes and Ambitions, wherein lay his most prized possession - a golden goatee comb. Some day, he hoped to comb the Goatee of Dabura with this. But where was the Great Goatee? Where was Dabura? How long would he have to spend inside the puppet pretending to be Ruler of the Demon Realm? Why exactly was he wearing one of Dabura's capes which trailed ridiculously far behind him? And why was he constantly writing the letter "J" on every piece of furniture as he passed it? Johnny didn't know.
"Where are you, Lord Dabura?"
--------
Dabura relaxed on his comfortable, albeit holographic chair, and watched as Pui-Pui struggled to climb a mountain made entirely out of robot ghosts.
"This is hard, Dabura!"
"Yes," said Dabura. "Yes, I imagine it is."
Pui-Pui slipped and fell, which was followed by a bloody, gruesome scene far too bloody and gruesome to reproduce here. Dabura almost grimaced, but not quite, because he was just tough like that. "Are you still alive, Pui-Pui?"
"If I said I wasn't, could I take a break?"
Dabura shook his head and rose from his chair. "When will you learn, Pui-Pui? The only break you can get is when you break somebody's bones! Snap snap! Just like that!"
"Damnit, Dabura, I already knew what that meant! You didn't have to demonstrate on my arms like that!"
Dabura shrugged. "It's good for you."
"No it isn't!"
"That's a negative attitude! Think of all the things you can do!"
"I can survive under 10 times normal gravity," said Pui-Pui, grinning hopefully.
"Yes," growled Dabura, jabbing Pui-Pui's battered exoskeleton with a red fingertip, "But that's not enough, is it? You need to aim higher!"
"Like... 20 times?"
"No! What's the largest number you know?"
"Twenty IS the largest number I know."
Dabura sighed.
--------
"I'm coming to get you, Spopovich!" roared Gohan. "I'm coming to get you!"
"Why is this taking so long?" grumbled Vegeta. "He's been running forward shouting like that for five minutes now."
"Dramatic effect," said Piccolo. "He's taken lessons."
"I'm coming for you! I'll kill you!"
"Wait," said Yamu, stepping up to the ring. "That's enough, Spopovich."
Spopovich paused from his current activity, which was using Videl to mop up her own blood from the ring. "BRAINS!"
"No, Spopovich! No brains! Your fight ends here! We have no time to play!"
Spopovich clutched his head, eyes bulging, and bellowed: "Spopovich want BRAINS!"
"Spopovich, for the last time, cut out the damn zombie idiot crap. You're a guy just like me who happened to have evil powers awakened. It didn't change your freaking personality."
Spopovich cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Yamu, but I prefer to play out my hidden zombie persona through physical cariacture acting. If you can't appreciate that, well I'm sorry, but I don't think we'd get along together well in a professional partnership."
"What?"
"BRAINS! BRAINS FOR SPOPOVICH!"
"That's enough, Spopovich! Finish the match!"
"Fine," grunted Spopovich, dropping Videl out of the ring, to the enormous relief of the crowd.
"Coming to get you!" screeched Gohan. "Almost there! What? The fight? It's over! Videl!" He powered down, his hair fading to black, and ran to scoop Videl up in his arms. "Videl? Are you okay?"
"Well, kid, take a guess," said the announcer, microphone to one side. "I mean, Spopovich just spent the last ten minutes using her as a punching bag. What do you think?"
"I think she might be a little bit not okay! Guys, we need a sensu bean for Videl! Dad, can you go get one?"
"Right!" Goku nodded. "I'll use the Shunkan Idou! Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the Shunkan Idou technique?"
"Yes, Kakarotto. Many, many times."
"It goes like this! I put my fingers to my forehead, see, and I can go anywhere. It's a shame you guys can't do that, it's really handy!"
Piccolo clutched his forehead for moral support. "Goku, why don't you just teach us the damn technique?"
Goku shrugged. "I have no idea. Bye! I'm going to go get sensu beans." He flickered away, and rematerialized miles away in the small stone dome partway up the spire of Kami's Lookout. "Hey, Korin!"
The wise old cat blinked at the new arrival. "Goku!"
"I'm going to need a sensu bean," said Goku. "Oh, hi, Yajirobe! Did I ever tell you guys about the Shunkan Idou technique?"
Yajirobe winced. "Not again."
"It goes like this!"
--------
The medics carried Videl to a room in the main compound, where they began bandaging her as best they could. Mr. Satan ran through the hallways, pushing people aside, finally bursting in to find Gohan standing by her side as they applied ointment to her wounds.
"Oh, my poor sweet Videl!" Mr. Satan clutched her hand, and then glared at Gohan. "Did you do this to her?"
"No, honest, it was Spopovich!"
"Because if you did, I'll strangle you!"
"This young boy carried her here, Mr. Satan," said the doctor. "He treated her very gently."
"Well, I guess you did good, kid. Come see me later and you can have my autograph, how does that sound?"
"Uh, great. I guess."
"Off you run then, boy, don't get in the way." Mr. Satan waved at him dismissively, but Videl raised her head and gazed at Gohan pleadingly.
"Gohan..."
"Videl!"
"Beat him for me... Gohan...."
Gohan nodded. "You can count on it, Videl."
"Wait a second!" Mr. Satan leapt to his feet. "This scrawny little kid isn't going to do anything! It's me, your great father Mr. Satan, who's going to teach that Spopovich a thing or two!"
Videl and Gohan's eyes were locked for a few seconds too long for Mr. Satan's liking. "What!? No! I won't have it! My little girl does not have a boyfriend! Certainly not a skinny weed like this kid! I won't stand for it! It's not going to happen!"
--------
"Where the hell is Kakarotto?" Vegeta tapped his foot impatiently. The announcer had just declared that the fight between Kibito and Gohan was in stasis as Gohan had failed to show up for the fight. Finally, Gohan ran into view, but he wasn't prepared to step out from the shadowed fighter's cloister while Videl was in her injured state.
"Is dad back yet with the sensu bean?"
"No," said Piccolo. "Your father isn't back yet, Gohan. In fact, he's not returned."
"Do you always have to talk like that, Piccolo?"
Piccolo stared into the distance. "Sometimes, Gohan. Sometimes when I speak, that's the way I say things. Other times, it's not."
Gohan glanced between Piccolo, who was still gazing mysteriously into the distance, and Vegeta, who was nervously prodding his hair. He sighed. "Why is there nobody sane around here?"
"Hey," said Krillin. "What about me?"
Gohan started. "What? Who are you!?"
"It's me, Krillin! The little guy? Who grew hair? You know, your friend since you were a child?"
"Oh! That guy!" Gohan nodded. "There's always old Krillin!"
Krillin laughed. "Next you'll tell me you forgot who Yamcha is!"
Gohan frowned. "Who?"
"Where the hell is Kakarotto?" Vegeta repeated, mostly because he liked saying the word 'Kakarotto'.
--------
"And then my fingers go like this," said Goku. He paused. "It's important! Never one finger, never three! Just two! Got that?"
"Goku," said Yajirobe. "I'll say this again. We. Don't. Care."
"That's right," said Goku, agreeing. "Two fingers. And then I've got to lock onto a ki signal. And it can take a long time. Or not a long time. Depends, you see. And then I have to--"
"Take the sensu bean and leave!" screamed Yajirobe. "Go away! Just stop bothering us!"
Korin nodded. "For once, the Bean Daddy is right. Stop wasting time, Goku! That young girl needs you!"
"Right!" Goku grinned. "I'm ready to go! I'll use the Shunkan Idou technique! Did I ever tell you guys about that?"
"Go away!"
"Listen," said the bulky blue demon hammering at the door, "I'm getting tired of this. I've been standing here for three long years waiting to talk to The King, and I'm getting just a tiny bit impatient!"
"Great King Dabura is very busy!"
"There's a line out here two kilometres wide! How can we go about our daily lives of evil torment if we don't get help from the King of the Demon World, hey?"
The voice sighed, and then the doors slowly drew back, revealing the opulent (and rather dusty) expanse of Dabura's throne room. The blue demon took a cautious step inside.
"Lord Dabura?" he called, rather unneasy. "I'm sorry I had to barge in and knock on your door so loudly, but it's rather important..."
"Come closer," said Dabura, sitting on his throne.
The blue demon walked a little closer.
"Not that close!" snapped Dabura, wobbling dangerously. The blue demon blinked as one of Dabura's ears slowly began to droop until a small hand reached up and flicked it back into position.
"Are you okay--"
"Do not question me! I am fine!" The demon noticed that Dabura's mouth wasn't moving with his speech so much as his head was bobbing around frantically. Also, Dabura's eyes were suspiciously bright and shiny, almost like glass beads. And... was he made out of felt?
"I am in fine health and very well," bellowed Johnny, sweating profusely from inside the Dabura hand-puppet. "I am Dabura the Great King of the Demon World! Rargh! Rooar! Rargh!"
"Are you SURE you're okay, sire? I remember you used to have, well, a torso. And legs."
"I do not need them! I have moved beyond such things!" The Dabura doll capered angrily from left to right, ears flopping wildly. "Now, speak what you must, or else I shall spit upon you with my ferocious spit!"
The blue demon dropped to his knee. "Oh great Dabura!" he beseeched. "I beseech you! Please, my family is starving, ever since you mysteriously stopped appearing every week to beat up the bandits who steal our demon crops!"
"Oh yeah?" The Dabura puppet hopped indignantly. "I just beat them up so fast you didn't see it!"
"But great Lord, they just stroll into our farms and steal all our evil, demonic crops! I have seen them!"
"No you haven't."
"Yes, I have!" The blue demon paused. "Lord Dabura, are you sure you are well? Your voice sounds different."
"Raargh! Snarl snarl growl! I am fine! I am merely changing my voice for fun! I am a wacky and loveable lord of the Demon World! Now go, go forth, make Dabura proud! Ride into the sunset!"
"But--"
"Go on! Out you go! Hop hop hop! Back to work!" The puppet clapped its little stuffed hands together. "Quickly now!"
The blue demon retreated backwards. "The crops--"
"Oh no! Ninjas! Hundreds of them! Run, I'll hold them off!"
The blue demon wailed and fled through the door, slamming it shut behind him. The resonating slam almost sent Johnny rolling off his pudgy little claws. He pulled the Dabura puppet off his head, wiped his forehead, and let out a long, resigned sigh.
"When are you coming back?" Johnny wondered aloud, then puddled to his little drawer of Johnny's Hopes and Ambitions, wherein lay his most prized possession - a golden goatee comb. Some day, he hoped to comb the Goatee of Dabura with this. But where was the Great Goatee? Where was Dabura? How long would he have to spend inside the puppet pretending to be Ruler of the Demon Realm? Why exactly was he wearing one of Dabura's capes which trailed ridiculously far behind him? And why was he constantly writing the letter "J" on every piece of furniture as he passed it? Johnny didn't know.
"Where are you, Lord Dabura?"
--------
Dabura relaxed on his comfortable, albeit holographic chair, and watched as Pui-Pui struggled to climb a mountain made entirely out of robot ghosts.
"This is hard, Dabura!"
"Yes," said Dabura. "Yes, I imagine it is."
Pui-Pui slipped and fell, which was followed by a bloody, gruesome scene far too bloody and gruesome to reproduce here. Dabura almost grimaced, but not quite, because he was just tough like that. "Are you still alive, Pui-Pui?"
"If I said I wasn't, could I take a break?"
Dabura shook his head and rose from his chair. "When will you learn, Pui-Pui? The only break you can get is when you break somebody's bones! Snap snap! Just like that!"
"Damnit, Dabura, I already knew what that meant! You didn't have to demonstrate on my arms like that!"
Dabura shrugged. "It's good for you."
"No it isn't!"
"That's a negative attitude! Think of all the things you can do!"
"I can survive under 10 times normal gravity," said Pui-Pui, grinning hopefully.
"Yes," growled Dabura, jabbing Pui-Pui's battered exoskeleton with a red fingertip, "But that's not enough, is it? You need to aim higher!"
"Like... 20 times?"
"No! What's the largest number you know?"
"Twenty IS the largest number I know."
Dabura sighed.
--------
"I'm coming to get you, Spopovich!" roared Gohan. "I'm coming to get you!"
"Why is this taking so long?" grumbled Vegeta. "He's been running forward shouting like that for five minutes now."
"Dramatic effect," said Piccolo. "He's taken lessons."
"I'm coming for you! I'll kill you!"
"Wait," said Yamu, stepping up to the ring. "That's enough, Spopovich."
Spopovich paused from his current activity, which was using Videl to mop up her own blood from the ring. "BRAINS!"
"No, Spopovich! No brains! Your fight ends here! We have no time to play!"
Spopovich clutched his head, eyes bulging, and bellowed: "Spopovich want BRAINS!"
"Spopovich, for the last time, cut out the damn zombie idiot crap. You're a guy just like me who happened to have evil powers awakened. It didn't change your freaking personality."
Spopovich cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Yamu, but I prefer to play out my hidden zombie persona through physical cariacture acting. If you can't appreciate that, well I'm sorry, but I don't think we'd get along together well in a professional partnership."
"What?"
"BRAINS! BRAINS FOR SPOPOVICH!"
"That's enough, Spopovich! Finish the match!"
"Fine," grunted Spopovich, dropping Videl out of the ring, to the enormous relief of the crowd.
"Coming to get you!" screeched Gohan. "Almost there! What? The fight? It's over! Videl!" He powered down, his hair fading to black, and ran to scoop Videl up in his arms. "Videl? Are you okay?"
"Well, kid, take a guess," said the announcer, microphone to one side. "I mean, Spopovich just spent the last ten minutes using her as a punching bag. What do you think?"
"I think she might be a little bit not okay! Guys, we need a sensu bean for Videl! Dad, can you go get one?"
"Right!" Goku nodded. "I'll use the Shunkan Idou! Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the Shunkan Idou technique?"
"Yes, Kakarotto. Many, many times."
"It goes like this! I put my fingers to my forehead, see, and I can go anywhere. It's a shame you guys can't do that, it's really handy!"
Piccolo clutched his forehead for moral support. "Goku, why don't you just teach us the damn technique?"
Goku shrugged. "I have no idea. Bye! I'm going to go get sensu beans." He flickered away, and rematerialized miles away in the small stone dome partway up the spire of Kami's Lookout. "Hey, Korin!"
The wise old cat blinked at the new arrival. "Goku!"
"I'm going to need a sensu bean," said Goku. "Oh, hi, Yajirobe! Did I ever tell you guys about the Shunkan Idou technique?"
Yajirobe winced. "Not again."
"It goes like this!"
--------
The medics carried Videl to a room in the main compound, where they began bandaging her as best they could. Mr. Satan ran through the hallways, pushing people aside, finally bursting in to find Gohan standing by her side as they applied ointment to her wounds.
"Oh, my poor sweet Videl!" Mr. Satan clutched her hand, and then glared at Gohan. "Did you do this to her?"
"No, honest, it was Spopovich!"
"Because if you did, I'll strangle you!"
"This young boy carried her here, Mr. Satan," said the doctor. "He treated her very gently."
"Well, I guess you did good, kid. Come see me later and you can have my autograph, how does that sound?"
"Uh, great. I guess."
"Off you run then, boy, don't get in the way." Mr. Satan waved at him dismissively, but Videl raised her head and gazed at Gohan pleadingly.
"Gohan..."
"Videl!"
"Beat him for me... Gohan...."
Gohan nodded. "You can count on it, Videl."
"Wait a second!" Mr. Satan leapt to his feet. "This scrawny little kid isn't going to do anything! It's me, your great father Mr. Satan, who's going to teach that Spopovich a thing or two!"
Videl and Gohan's eyes were locked for a few seconds too long for Mr. Satan's liking. "What!? No! I won't have it! My little girl does not have a boyfriend! Certainly not a skinny weed like this kid! I won't stand for it! It's not going to happen!"
--------
"Where the hell is Kakarotto?" Vegeta tapped his foot impatiently. The announcer had just declared that the fight between Kibito and Gohan was in stasis as Gohan had failed to show up for the fight. Finally, Gohan ran into view, but he wasn't prepared to step out from the shadowed fighter's cloister while Videl was in her injured state.
"Is dad back yet with the sensu bean?"
"No," said Piccolo. "Your father isn't back yet, Gohan. In fact, he's not returned."
"Do you always have to talk like that, Piccolo?"
Piccolo stared into the distance. "Sometimes, Gohan. Sometimes when I speak, that's the way I say things. Other times, it's not."
Gohan glanced between Piccolo, who was still gazing mysteriously into the distance, and Vegeta, who was nervously prodding his hair. He sighed. "Why is there nobody sane around here?"
"Hey," said Krillin. "What about me?"
Gohan started. "What? Who are you!?"
"It's me, Krillin! The little guy? Who grew hair? You know, your friend since you were a child?"
"Oh! That guy!" Gohan nodded. "There's always old Krillin!"
Krillin laughed. "Next you'll tell me you forgot who Yamcha is!"
Gohan frowned. "Who?"
"Where the hell is Kakarotto?" Vegeta repeated, mostly because he liked saying the word 'Kakarotto'.
--------
"And then my fingers go like this," said Goku. He paused. "It's important! Never one finger, never three! Just two! Got that?"
"Goku," said Yajirobe. "I'll say this again. We. Don't. Care."
"That's right," said Goku, agreeing. "Two fingers. And then I've got to lock onto a ki signal. And it can take a long time. Or not a long time. Depends, you see. And then I have to--"
"Take the sensu bean and leave!" screamed Yajirobe. "Go away! Just stop bothering us!"
Korin nodded. "For once, the Bean Daddy is right. Stop wasting time, Goku! That young girl needs you!"
"Right!" Goku grinned. "I'm ready to go! I'll use the Shunkan Idou technique! Did I ever tell you guys about that?"