Spopovich laughed as he drained the life out of Gohan. Yamu laughed too. Gohan laughed with them for a bit, even though he
didn't get the joke, but eventually decided to stop laughing because the pain was becoming quite bad.
If asked to describe the pain he felt flooding from his shoulder, he would have described it as the sort of intense pain you get when two semi-naked muscular men drain your energy from you with a giant needle. Veins corded out on Gohan's neck as he screeched his high-pitched wail of woe, something that wasn't missed by his little brother as he watched from afar.
"We've got to help him, Trunks!" said Goten, flailing around in Mighty Mask's suit. "They're killing him!"
"Why isn't anybody helping?" Trunks wondered.
Goten attempted to leap to Gohan's rescue and brought the costume head-over-heels. "I'm coming, Gohan!" he shouted, as he attempted to burrow his way through the seat in front of him. Unfortunately, the rule of people in clumsy costumes was ensuring that all his attempts to rescue Gohan ended with hilarious pratfalls.
Piccolo decided he couldn't watch any more. The pain and suffering on his best friend's face was too much to bear. He glanced away, and his eyes rested on Vegeta instead. Realising that there were some things uglier than pain and suffering, he turned his gaze back to Gohan's anguish.
"Damn them," muttered Goku, his fists clenched. "Draining his life like that. I'll get you for this, Cell Juniors!"
Piccolo shook his head. "God, just kill me now and end this."
Kaioshin blinked. "Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Okay, Spopovich!" shouted Yamu. "We have enough sweet, delicious life energy!"
"Now for his brains!" Spopovich began to gnaw busily on Gohan's skull. Yamu slapped him away.
"No, Spopovich! There's no time for brains! We must take this life energy to Master Babidi, whereupon we will probably be given a promotion and super powers and not at all be betrayed and killed horribly!"
Spopovich sighed. "Whatever you say, Yamu, although I don't agree with our course of action. SPOPOVICH MAD!"
The dastardly duo dropped Gohan's now lifeless body to the ring and took to the skies, quickly disappearing over the horizon. The crowd, who had been frozen in terror much like a caveman is frozen in ice until he awakes in the future and then hilariously has to adjust to modern society, came back to life and began to whisper excitedly.
Videl ran to Gohan, but Kaioshin motioned for the others to stay put and listen to him. It was an incredibly complicated motion, and Vegeta misunderstood it for a motion commanding him to dance wildly.
"Stop dancing, Vegeta, and listen to me," said Kaioshin sternly.
"I wasn't dancing," Vegeta blustered. "I was... training. To defeat Kakarotto!"
"Kibito will help Gohan," Kaioshin said. "We must follow Spopovich and Yamu. I'll explain everything as we travel, but we must go quickly! The very fate of the Universe is at stake!"
"The Universe," said Piccolo, stunned.
"A steak," said Goku, stunned.
"Come quickly!" Kaioshin hovered into the air. "We haven't much time."
"Okay, guys, who wants to come?" Goku glanced at his friends. "Because if you don't want to come, I won't consider any less of you for being such a coward."
"I'm with you, Goku," said Piccolo.
Krillin laughed awkwardly. "And, like, you can't go anywhere without bringing Krillin, right? Just in case you run into trouble and need me to save you?"
Piccolo nodded understandingly and patted Krillin on the head. "Yes, Krillin, whatever you say."
"Not so fast, Kakarotto!" Vegeta grabbed the front of Goku's gi and thrust his face menacingly towards his much taller rival. "You're just trying to escape our fight!"
"Oh, that's our silly Vegeta," said Goku amiably. "Don't you see this is kind of important? Steak is involved!"
"He said 'stake', Goku," said Piccolo. "The universe is at STAKE."
"Oh, is that all?" Goku frowned. "Well, it's still more important than our fight, Vegeta! Why don't you come along?"
Vegeta snarled. "Fine! I'll come along, Kakarotto. And after this, we will have our battle, and I will defeat you!"
Goku nodded understandingly and patted Vegeta on the head. "Yes, Vegeta, whatever you say."
Krillin glanced at #18. "Are you coming?"
"No. I think I'll stay here and win that prize money, like I came to do." #18 smiled. "There won't be anybody left to challenge me now."
"Okay, well, I'll see you later."
"Krillin - be careful."
"I will, sugar-puffin!"
"Stay out of trouble, honey-woney!"
"Don't worry about me, angel features!"
"If things get tough, don't be afraid to run, Krilly!"
"You can count on it, Eighty-weighty - Goku, stop laughing. Right now. I'm in a serious relationship and you need to learn to understand that."
"Sugar puffin," Goku snorted, and laughed so hard that Piccolo had to hit him until he snapped out of it. With no time to lose, they left the Budokai (and an amazed crowd) behind them as they ascended into the sky.
--------
Pui-Pui had learned a lot in the last few hours. For a start, he now knew that a giant triceratops with rockets for legs could also open it's mouth and unleash a horde of pirates.
"Arrrrr!" cried a pirate, before Pui-Pui finished it with an open palm blast that sent a sad, solitary pegleg rattling across the floor.
"Good job, Pui-Pui," said Dabura. "I may have to turn up the difficulty to Easy."
"What? What difficulty am I on now??"
"'Very Easy'," Dabura said, checking the screen.
Pui-Pui sighed. "Dabura, why do I have to go through such intense training? I'm already the most powerful Pui in the universe, and it's not like anybody on Earth could ever threaten my power as it is."
Dabura frowned. "Foolish Pui-Pui! Strength like yours is nothing to be proud of! Only when you have reached the mastery of energy and flame, as I myself have, can you relax in this comfortable chair and drink this refreshing, cool lemonade!"
"Whatever you say, Dabura." Pui-Pui glanced around him. "You know, this Gravity Holodeck of Space and Time seems like a completely ridiculous thing to exist anywhere, doesn't it?"
Dabura shrugged. "I'd say something even more ridiculous is approaching you right now."
"Oh no! Not a ten-foot-tall sea slug with laser swords extending from two cybernetic arms that have been grafted onto it's forehead!" Pui-Pui stepped back. "Dabura, give me some advice here!"
Dabura considered this. "I suggest you get his damage up to 100% and then attempt to Meteor Smash him out of the arena."
"What does that even MEAN?"
"I'm not actually sure."
A laser sword almost cut Pui-Pui's head off. He liked that head; it had sentimental value. "Dabura, I'm out of my league here! Can't you just show me how it's done?"
"Fine!" Dabura rose to his feet and crushed the lemonade in one hand. He lightly stepped on one foot and then pushed himself forward, focusing his dark ki to propel him at incredible speeds towards the unsuspecting monstrosity. With incredible speed he landed three punches before Pui-Pui could even register Dabura had moved at all. The first two struck off the beasts's cybernetic arms and the final one sent the monster flying backwards, slamming into the wall and crackling out of existence.
"Oh," said Pui-Pui. "So that's how you do it."
Dabura landed, his cape descending to touch the ground behind him. "Now, do you want to try again?"
Suddenly a shrill voice rang through the infinity that surrounded them. "Pui-Pui! Dabura! Are you in there? Who's guarding my spaceship?"
Dabura sighed. "I was merely training Pui-Pui, Lord Babidi."
"I've decided I want to be called 'Master Babidi' today," said Babidi's echoing voice.
"Very well, Master Babidi."
"Actually, no, Lord Babidi sounded better. Stick with that. Anyway, Dabura, get back up here! Spopovich and Yamu should be due back at any minute now!"
"Very well, Lord Babidi."
"I changed my mind. I think Master Babidi sounds better."
"Perhaps I could call you 'Lord Master Babidi?'"
"No, that's just silly. Now hurry up!"
Pui-Pui smiled, relieved. "Well, I guess we have to take a break, right?"
"It seems so," said Dabura, heading towards the door. "But remember your training, Pui-Pui!"
"Don't worry," said Pui-Pui unhappily. "Even if I forget now, I'm sure the nightmares I'm bound to have plaguing me for the rest of my life will be a great reminder."
--------
"Is he going to be okay?" said Videl, crouched over Gohan.
"He will be as fine as a stiletto shoe when I'm done healing him," said Kibito, extending his palms over Gohan's body.
"I'm sorry, sir," interrupted a voice, which belonged to a medic clambering onto the ring. "We'll take it from here."
"No," said Kibito. "You will not."
"He's been stabbed," said the medic. "If we don't get him properly treated, he could die. From being stabbed. By a stabber."
Kibito glared. "You will stand back."
Something was incredibly convincing about Kibito, possibly his large fangs, so the medic hastily retreated to a corner where he curled into a ball and began sucking on his thumb. Kibito spread out his hands and closed his eyes. Warm ki began to radiate from his palm, filling Gohan with ki once again.
Eventually Kibito's hands withdrew. Gohan twitched, and then his eyes opened. Startled, he leapt to his feet and glanced away. "Where'd they go? What happened?"
"All will be explained, Gohan," said Kibito. "But you must come with me."
--------
"You see," said Kaioshin. "A long time ago, there was an evil wizard named Bibidi. He created a monster - a monster named Majin Buu."
Goku nodded encouragingly. "Go on!"
The ocean rapidly flew past beneath them. "Back then, there were four other Kaioshin," Kaioshin continued. "Each one of them was powerful enough to defeat the one you call Frieza in a single punch!"
"Well, I could do that," said Vegeta. "After all, I defeated that punching machine in one blow. Vegeta power!"
"Indeed," said Kaioshin. "Yet Majin Buu killed them all, except for me. He knew no mercy or compassion. He existed only to destroy."
"Sounds like he'd have made a good Saiyajin," Vegeta thought.
"No, Vegeta, you're wrong," said Kaioshin. "He was a mindless monster!"
"Wait, you can read my thoughts?"
"Yes. In fact, I know all about that little fantasy you have involving Bulma and--"
"Shut up!"
"As I was saying," said Kaioshin, "Majin Buu was a terrible monster. But, eventually, he became too strong for Bibidi to control. Bibidi took to sealing him away in a ball, where he could harm nobody."
"Sounds like he'd have made a good Saiyajin sealed away in a ball," thought Vegeta.
"That didn't make much sense, Vegeta," said Kaioshin. "Please stop thinking stupid things."
"He can't help it," said Piccolo.
"It's just so hard being able to read minds," Kaioshin complained. "You don't even want to know what it's like having to pick up on Goku's thoughtwaves."
"Did somebody say Goku?" said Goku cheerfully. "I knew a guy named Goku once."
"Eventually," said Kaioshin tersely, "I managed to find Bibidi while Buu was sealed away. I killed Bibidi and hid the cocoon, thinking that Buu was now sealed forever."
"Well, that's a relief," said Krillin. "You had me scared for a moment there!"
"Actually, Bibidi had a son, Babidi, and Babidi was just as evil as his father. I believe he intends to revive Majin Buu, and if he does, nobody will be safe."
"Damnit." Krillin shook his head. "I really should have seen that plot twist coming."
"So now we must follow Spopovich and Yamu," concluded Kaioshin. "Kibito and I could not find Babidi's ship, but they will lead us to him. When we find it, we must stop the resurrection of Majin Buu."
If asked to describe the pain he felt flooding from his shoulder, he would have described it as the sort of intense pain you get when two semi-naked muscular men drain your energy from you with a giant needle. Veins corded out on Gohan's neck as he screeched his high-pitched wail of woe, something that wasn't missed by his little brother as he watched from afar.
"We've got to help him, Trunks!" said Goten, flailing around in Mighty Mask's suit. "They're killing him!"
"Why isn't anybody helping?" Trunks wondered.
Goten attempted to leap to Gohan's rescue and brought the costume head-over-heels. "I'm coming, Gohan!" he shouted, as he attempted to burrow his way through the seat in front of him. Unfortunately, the rule of people in clumsy costumes was ensuring that all his attempts to rescue Gohan ended with hilarious pratfalls.
Piccolo decided he couldn't watch any more. The pain and suffering on his best friend's face was too much to bear. He glanced away, and his eyes rested on Vegeta instead. Realising that there were some things uglier than pain and suffering, he turned his gaze back to Gohan's anguish.
"Damn them," muttered Goku, his fists clenched. "Draining his life like that. I'll get you for this, Cell Juniors!"
Piccolo shook his head. "God, just kill me now and end this."
Kaioshin blinked. "Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Okay, Spopovich!" shouted Yamu. "We have enough sweet, delicious life energy!"
"Now for his brains!" Spopovich began to gnaw busily on Gohan's skull. Yamu slapped him away.
"No, Spopovich! There's no time for brains! We must take this life energy to Master Babidi, whereupon we will probably be given a promotion and super powers and not at all be betrayed and killed horribly!"
Spopovich sighed. "Whatever you say, Yamu, although I don't agree with our course of action. SPOPOVICH MAD!"
The dastardly duo dropped Gohan's now lifeless body to the ring and took to the skies, quickly disappearing over the horizon. The crowd, who had been frozen in terror much like a caveman is frozen in ice until he awakes in the future and then hilariously has to adjust to modern society, came back to life and began to whisper excitedly.
Videl ran to Gohan, but Kaioshin motioned for the others to stay put and listen to him. It was an incredibly complicated motion, and Vegeta misunderstood it for a motion commanding him to dance wildly.
"Stop dancing, Vegeta, and listen to me," said Kaioshin sternly.
"I wasn't dancing," Vegeta blustered. "I was... training. To defeat Kakarotto!"
"Kibito will help Gohan," Kaioshin said. "We must follow Spopovich and Yamu. I'll explain everything as we travel, but we must go quickly! The very fate of the Universe is at stake!"
"The Universe," said Piccolo, stunned.
"A steak," said Goku, stunned.
"Come quickly!" Kaioshin hovered into the air. "We haven't much time."
"Okay, guys, who wants to come?" Goku glanced at his friends. "Because if you don't want to come, I won't consider any less of you for being such a coward."
"I'm with you, Goku," said Piccolo.
Krillin laughed awkwardly. "And, like, you can't go anywhere without bringing Krillin, right? Just in case you run into trouble and need me to save you?"
Piccolo nodded understandingly and patted Krillin on the head. "Yes, Krillin, whatever you say."
"Not so fast, Kakarotto!" Vegeta grabbed the front of Goku's gi and thrust his face menacingly towards his much taller rival. "You're just trying to escape our fight!"
"Oh, that's our silly Vegeta," said Goku amiably. "Don't you see this is kind of important? Steak is involved!"
"He said 'stake', Goku," said Piccolo. "The universe is at STAKE."
"Oh, is that all?" Goku frowned. "Well, it's still more important than our fight, Vegeta! Why don't you come along?"
Vegeta snarled. "Fine! I'll come along, Kakarotto. And after this, we will have our battle, and I will defeat you!"
Goku nodded understandingly and patted Vegeta on the head. "Yes, Vegeta, whatever you say."
Krillin glanced at #18. "Are you coming?"
"No. I think I'll stay here and win that prize money, like I came to do." #18 smiled. "There won't be anybody left to challenge me now."
"Okay, well, I'll see you later."
"Krillin - be careful."
"I will, sugar-puffin!"
"Stay out of trouble, honey-woney!"
"Don't worry about me, angel features!"
"If things get tough, don't be afraid to run, Krilly!"
"You can count on it, Eighty-weighty - Goku, stop laughing. Right now. I'm in a serious relationship and you need to learn to understand that."
"Sugar puffin," Goku snorted, and laughed so hard that Piccolo had to hit him until he snapped out of it. With no time to lose, they left the Budokai (and an amazed crowd) behind them as they ascended into the sky.
--------
Pui-Pui had learned a lot in the last few hours. For a start, he now knew that a giant triceratops with rockets for legs could also open it's mouth and unleash a horde of pirates.
"Arrrrr!" cried a pirate, before Pui-Pui finished it with an open palm blast that sent a sad, solitary pegleg rattling across the floor.
"Good job, Pui-Pui," said Dabura. "I may have to turn up the difficulty to Easy."
"What? What difficulty am I on now??"
"'Very Easy'," Dabura said, checking the screen.
Pui-Pui sighed. "Dabura, why do I have to go through such intense training? I'm already the most powerful Pui in the universe, and it's not like anybody on Earth could ever threaten my power as it is."
Dabura frowned. "Foolish Pui-Pui! Strength like yours is nothing to be proud of! Only when you have reached the mastery of energy and flame, as I myself have, can you relax in this comfortable chair and drink this refreshing, cool lemonade!"
"Whatever you say, Dabura." Pui-Pui glanced around him. "You know, this Gravity Holodeck of Space and Time seems like a completely ridiculous thing to exist anywhere, doesn't it?"
Dabura shrugged. "I'd say something even more ridiculous is approaching you right now."
"Oh no! Not a ten-foot-tall sea slug with laser swords extending from two cybernetic arms that have been grafted onto it's forehead!" Pui-Pui stepped back. "Dabura, give me some advice here!"
Dabura considered this. "I suggest you get his damage up to 100% and then attempt to Meteor Smash him out of the arena."
"What does that even MEAN?"
"I'm not actually sure."
A laser sword almost cut Pui-Pui's head off. He liked that head; it had sentimental value. "Dabura, I'm out of my league here! Can't you just show me how it's done?"
"Fine!" Dabura rose to his feet and crushed the lemonade in one hand. He lightly stepped on one foot and then pushed himself forward, focusing his dark ki to propel him at incredible speeds towards the unsuspecting monstrosity. With incredible speed he landed three punches before Pui-Pui could even register Dabura had moved at all. The first two struck off the beasts's cybernetic arms and the final one sent the monster flying backwards, slamming into the wall and crackling out of existence.
"Oh," said Pui-Pui. "So that's how you do it."
Dabura landed, his cape descending to touch the ground behind him. "Now, do you want to try again?"
Suddenly a shrill voice rang through the infinity that surrounded them. "Pui-Pui! Dabura! Are you in there? Who's guarding my spaceship?"
Dabura sighed. "I was merely training Pui-Pui, Lord Babidi."
"I've decided I want to be called 'Master Babidi' today," said Babidi's echoing voice.
"Very well, Master Babidi."
"Actually, no, Lord Babidi sounded better. Stick with that. Anyway, Dabura, get back up here! Spopovich and Yamu should be due back at any minute now!"
"Very well, Lord Babidi."
"I changed my mind. I think Master Babidi sounds better."
"Perhaps I could call you 'Lord Master Babidi?'"
"No, that's just silly. Now hurry up!"
Pui-Pui smiled, relieved. "Well, I guess we have to take a break, right?"
"It seems so," said Dabura, heading towards the door. "But remember your training, Pui-Pui!"
"Don't worry," said Pui-Pui unhappily. "Even if I forget now, I'm sure the nightmares I'm bound to have plaguing me for the rest of my life will be a great reminder."
--------
"Is he going to be okay?" said Videl, crouched over Gohan.
"He will be as fine as a stiletto shoe when I'm done healing him," said Kibito, extending his palms over Gohan's body.
"I'm sorry, sir," interrupted a voice, which belonged to a medic clambering onto the ring. "We'll take it from here."
"No," said Kibito. "You will not."
"He's been stabbed," said the medic. "If we don't get him properly treated, he could die. From being stabbed. By a stabber."
Kibito glared. "You will stand back."
Something was incredibly convincing about Kibito, possibly his large fangs, so the medic hastily retreated to a corner where he curled into a ball and began sucking on his thumb. Kibito spread out his hands and closed his eyes. Warm ki began to radiate from his palm, filling Gohan with ki once again.
Eventually Kibito's hands withdrew. Gohan twitched, and then his eyes opened. Startled, he leapt to his feet and glanced away. "Where'd they go? What happened?"
"All will be explained, Gohan," said Kibito. "But you must come with me."
--------
"You see," said Kaioshin. "A long time ago, there was an evil wizard named Bibidi. He created a monster - a monster named Majin Buu."
Goku nodded encouragingly. "Go on!"
The ocean rapidly flew past beneath them. "Back then, there were four other Kaioshin," Kaioshin continued. "Each one of them was powerful enough to defeat the one you call Frieza in a single punch!"
"Well, I could do that," said Vegeta. "After all, I defeated that punching machine in one blow. Vegeta power!"
"Indeed," said Kaioshin. "Yet Majin Buu killed them all, except for me. He knew no mercy or compassion. He existed only to destroy."
"Sounds like he'd have made a good Saiyajin," Vegeta thought.
"No, Vegeta, you're wrong," said Kaioshin. "He was a mindless monster!"
"Wait, you can read my thoughts?"
"Yes. In fact, I know all about that little fantasy you have involving Bulma and--"
"Shut up!"
"As I was saying," said Kaioshin, "Majin Buu was a terrible monster. But, eventually, he became too strong for Bibidi to control. Bibidi took to sealing him away in a ball, where he could harm nobody."
"Sounds like he'd have made a good Saiyajin sealed away in a ball," thought Vegeta.
"That didn't make much sense, Vegeta," said Kaioshin. "Please stop thinking stupid things."
"He can't help it," said Piccolo.
"It's just so hard being able to read minds," Kaioshin complained. "You don't even want to know what it's like having to pick up on Goku's thoughtwaves."
"Did somebody say Goku?" said Goku cheerfully. "I knew a guy named Goku once."
"Eventually," said Kaioshin tersely, "I managed to find Bibidi while Buu was sealed away. I killed Bibidi and hid the cocoon, thinking that Buu was now sealed forever."
"Well, that's a relief," said Krillin. "You had me scared for a moment there!"
"Actually, Bibidi had a son, Babidi, and Babidi was just as evil as his father. I believe he intends to revive Majin Buu, and if he does, nobody will be safe."
"Damnit." Krillin shook his head. "I really should have seen that plot twist coming."
"So now we must follow Spopovich and Yamu," concluded Kaioshin. "Kibito and I could not find Babidi's ship, but they will lead us to him. When we find it, we must stop the resurrection of Majin Buu."