Desperate thoughts of Escape
Anna had slept most of the day, letting her body heal. She had never remembered being so tired. When she came back to full consciousness the room was dark and she was alone, which didn't surprise her. Carter was probably downstairs working in the ER and well Max hopefully would be nowhere to be found. She blinked as she pulled herself painfully up in the bed. Her sides were sore, the muscles in her abdomen not wanting to work to help her move. She wanted to get up and move a little bit to help ease some of the soreness that she was feeling. She pulled the blanket off her and tried to get her legs to go over the side of the bed. Standing was a lot harder than she thought it would be. She looked at her legs, seeing that they were black and blue. She had taken quite a beating in the car accident. Having the dash wrapped around her, as she remembered having to have the firemen cut her free from the confines of the crumpled car.
She looked up as a woman entered the room and vaguely remembered the face from the ER when she was here on her residency. But she couldn't place the name for the life of her.
"Ah Dr. Del Amico, it is so nice to see that you are awake and wanting to move around some." Elizabeth said as she walked over to the bedside, "I'm Dr. Corday, you probably don't remember me, and I'm the surgeon who performed your operation."
"Dr. Corday, thank you for saving my life." Anna said softly, looking at the British surgeon. She was grateful for what she had done for her so far.
"You're most welcome." Elizabeth said looking at chart now, "I see that you must be feeling a tad bit better if you are trying to, shall we say, escape from the confines of the bed."
"That I am." Anna replied, "I know that I need to get up and move a little bit, I am getting pretty stiff from just laying there."
"That you are right about. But I don't want you to overdo it either. Just short trips and I would like to have someone walk with you the first few times; those legs of yours will probably be a bit wobbly." Elizabeth responded. "And if you're feeling up to it, I will have them bring you something to eat, maybe some Jell-O or ice cream, toast you just have to name it."
"Toast and tea would be nice." Anna said shifting her weight as she scooted towards the edge of the bed, "I um, well," she felt a little embarrassed to have to ask, "Need to use the little girl's room."
Elizabeth put her arm out to help steady her, "come on then I'll take you, since I'm here."
Anna smiled shyly, "thank you." As she stood up trying to get her footing, her legs felt like they were made of rubber and didn't want to support her weight. She could feel her knee about to give out. She was thankful to have someone there to help her, or she might have never made it across the room. She might not have made it more than a step away from her bed.
Elizabeth helped and supported a very wobbly Anna, slowly walking over to the door with her, "I'll wait right here for you and help you back to the bed. Just yell if you need some help otherwise I'm going to leave you alone and give you some sense of privacy."
Anna nodded a silent thank you for her not insisting on going inside with her. After a few minutes she re-emerged ready to get back to the sanctity of the bed. Her legs wouldn't take her much further than that right now, and her stomach was growling a little. She let Dr. Corday help her back across the room and into the bed.
"Could you bring me some paper and something to write with?" Anna asked. "There's something that I need to do."
"I'm sure that I can find that for you." Elizabeth said, "I'll check at the nurses station when I stop to have them get you some toast and tea."
"Thank you, Dr. Corday that would be most helpful." Anna said not taking her eyes off the woman, "is Dr. Carter working tonight?"
"Yeah he said that he would be back up to check in on you when he got a break." Elizabeth said not thinking twice about answering her patient's questions. "Just relax for a little bit, get some more sleep and you'll be out of here before you know it."
The thought of what she was going to do when she was discharged from the hospital terrified her. She couldn't return to her job in Philadelphia, Max would be expecting that and she'd be too easy to find. She couldn't stay here; he'd be looking for her here too. He knew she had friends that worked at County and it wouldn't be hard for her probably to get back on the staff here. She watched the surgeon leave the room as she broke down into tears. She didn't know what she was going to do or where she was going to go, now that home wasn't an option. The thought of never being able to go back to Philadelphia broke her heart in two. Her brothers, her family, they were all there and if Max found her that would be the last time that she was ever able to see them. She had always been close to her family and having to walk away from them like this hurt more than she thought it ever would.
She tried to stop the tears but the more she wiped away the more fell. She desperately wanted to pull it together, afraid to let anyone see her like this. She had always been so strong willed and so independent. Max had robbed her of those traits. He had made her feel so weak and inferior. That she was nothing but a perpetual screw up who couldn't do anything if she didn't have him there with her. Part of her knew that wasn't true. She had accomplished a lot while they were apart. She had finished her first pediatric residency with out any help from him, and moved into her second residency in emergency medicine with out any help from him. But he was the one that had secured her spot to complete her residency in Philadelphia and had got her the spot on the staff at the hospital where she was currently working as an attending ER pediatrician. So really she hadn't done those things on her own, he had done them for her.
How could she have let him make her feel like this, how could she let him walk all over her for so long? She had been blinded by his charms, by the love that she had held onto him for so long. It was those feelings that had stopped her from getting into a relationship with Carter, and pushed her into the trap of her current life. But she knew Max hadn't always been like this. Maybe she had done something that had caused him to snap, caused him to fall into the pattern of his old ways. This was some how her fault. She needed to fix it, but she couldn't be near him right now, one look from his eyes and she would crumble, she would go back to closing her eyes when the bad things happened believing him every time he said that it was a mistake that he wouldn't do it again. Well this time he wasn't going to do it again. She wouldn't be there to hear the 'I'm sorry baby please forgive me, give me another chance, I promise it won't happen again.' She wasn't going to be his puppet on a string. She was going to stand on her own too feet no matter how hard it hurt to do. But first she had to find the strength to get to that point. Right now she was nowhere near being that person, being the person who would be strong enough to walk cleanly away from him.
Anna had slept most of the day, letting her body heal. She had never remembered being so tired. When she came back to full consciousness the room was dark and she was alone, which didn't surprise her. Carter was probably downstairs working in the ER and well Max hopefully would be nowhere to be found. She blinked as she pulled herself painfully up in the bed. Her sides were sore, the muscles in her abdomen not wanting to work to help her move. She wanted to get up and move a little bit to help ease some of the soreness that she was feeling. She pulled the blanket off her and tried to get her legs to go over the side of the bed. Standing was a lot harder than she thought it would be. She looked at her legs, seeing that they were black and blue. She had taken quite a beating in the car accident. Having the dash wrapped around her, as she remembered having to have the firemen cut her free from the confines of the crumpled car.
She looked up as a woman entered the room and vaguely remembered the face from the ER when she was here on her residency. But she couldn't place the name for the life of her.
"Ah Dr. Del Amico, it is so nice to see that you are awake and wanting to move around some." Elizabeth said as she walked over to the bedside, "I'm Dr. Corday, you probably don't remember me, and I'm the surgeon who performed your operation."
"Dr. Corday, thank you for saving my life." Anna said softly, looking at the British surgeon. She was grateful for what she had done for her so far.
"You're most welcome." Elizabeth said looking at chart now, "I see that you must be feeling a tad bit better if you are trying to, shall we say, escape from the confines of the bed."
"That I am." Anna replied, "I know that I need to get up and move a little bit, I am getting pretty stiff from just laying there."
"That you are right about. But I don't want you to overdo it either. Just short trips and I would like to have someone walk with you the first few times; those legs of yours will probably be a bit wobbly." Elizabeth responded. "And if you're feeling up to it, I will have them bring you something to eat, maybe some Jell-O or ice cream, toast you just have to name it."
"Toast and tea would be nice." Anna said shifting her weight as she scooted towards the edge of the bed, "I um, well," she felt a little embarrassed to have to ask, "Need to use the little girl's room."
Elizabeth put her arm out to help steady her, "come on then I'll take you, since I'm here."
Anna smiled shyly, "thank you." As she stood up trying to get her footing, her legs felt like they were made of rubber and didn't want to support her weight. She could feel her knee about to give out. She was thankful to have someone there to help her, or she might have never made it across the room. She might not have made it more than a step away from her bed.
Elizabeth helped and supported a very wobbly Anna, slowly walking over to the door with her, "I'll wait right here for you and help you back to the bed. Just yell if you need some help otherwise I'm going to leave you alone and give you some sense of privacy."
Anna nodded a silent thank you for her not insisting on going inside with her. After a few minutes she re-emerged ready to get back to the sanctity of the bed. Her legs wouldn't take her much further than that right now, and her stomach was growling a little. She let Dr. Corday help her back across the room and into the bed.
"Could you bring me some paper and something to write with?" Anna asked. "There's something that I need to do."
"I'm sure that I can find that for you." Elizabeth said, "I'll check at the nurses station when I stop to have them get you some toast and tea."
"Thank you, Dr. Corday that would be most helpful." Anna said not taking her eyes off the woman, "is Dr. Carter working tonight?"
"Yeah he said that he would be back up to check in on you when he got a break." Elizabeth said not thinking twice about answering her patient's questions. "Just relax for a little bit, get some more sleep and you'll be out of here before you know it."
The thought of what she was going to do when she was discharged from the hospital terrified her. She couldn't return to her job in Philadelphia, Max would be expecting that and she'd be too easy to find. She couldn't stay here; he'd be looking for her here too. He knew she had friends that worked at County and it wouldn't be hard for her probably to get back on the staff here. She watched the surgeon leave the room as she broke down into tears. She didn't know what she was going to do or where she was going to go, now that home wasn't an option. The thought of never being able to go back to Philadelphia broke her heart in two. Her brothers, her family, they were all there and if Max found her that would be the last time that she was ever able to see them. She had always been close to her family and having to walk away from them like this hurt more than she thought it ever would.
She tried to stop the tears but the more she wiped away the more fell. She desperately wanted to pull it together, afraid to let anyone see her like this. She had always been so strong willed and so independent. Max had robbed her of those traits. He had made her feel so weak and inferior. That she was nothing but a perpetual screw up who couldn't do anything if she didn't have him there with her. Part of her knew that wasn't true. She had accomplished a lot while they were apart. She had finished her first pediatric residency with out any help from him, and moved into her second residency in emergency medicine with out any help from him. But he was the one that had secured her spot to complete her residency in Philadelphia and had got her the spot on the staff at the hospital where she was currently working as an attending ER pediatrician. So really she hadn't done those things on her own, he had done them for her.
How could she have let him make her feel like this, how could she let him walk all over her for so long? She had been blinded by his charms, by the love that she had held onto him for so long. It was those feelings that had stopped her from getting into a relationship with Carter, and pushed her into the trap of her current life. But she knew Max hadn't always been like this. Maybe she had done something that had caused him to snap, caused him to fall into the pattern of his old ways. This was some how her fault. She needed to fix it, but she couldn't be near him right now, one look from his eyes and she would crumble, she would go back to closing her eyes when the bad things happened believing him every time he said that it was a mistake that he wouldn't do it again. Well this time he wasn't going to do it again. She wouldn't be there to hear the 'I'm sorry baby please forgive me, give me another chance, I promise it won't happen again.' She wasn't going to be his puppet on a string. She was going to stand on her own too feet no matter how hard it hurt to do. But first she had to find the strength to get to that point. Right now she was nowhere near being that person, being the person who would be strong enough to walk cleanly away from him.