Pui-Pui waited for them to throw themselves on the floor in fear, cower
while begging for mercy, and possibly proclaim Pui-Pui to be their new
King and Ruler.
"Who gets to go first?" said Goku. "This is so exciting!"
"Clearly, I am the most qualified to fight any villain we're up against," said Vegeta smugly. "Hey! Stop laughing at me! Don't mock me! I'll cut you!"
"Sorry, Vegeta," said Gohan, trying to regain his self control. "No offense. But seriously, the only good way to decide this is with a game of Paper Scissors Rock."
Vegeta rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You know," he said. "I'm often considered to be a master tactician, and I just had a brilliant, tactical idea. What if we decided who would fight first with a game of Paper Scissors Rock?"
"Brilliant idea, Vegeta!" Goku danced a tiny dance of joy. "I'm so lucky to have you as my son!"
Gohan wept quietly as Kaioshin stepped in and shook his hands frantically. "Don't you think we should all fight him together? Babidi's warriors are the fiercest in the universe!"
"Fierce?" said Vegeta. "Or NOT fierce?"
"That's our master tactician Vegeta," Goku burbled happily. "Always knows the answer."
Kaioshin staggered away, pressing his forehead against the cool metal wall hoping that this horrible dream would end. "Now," said Vegeta, rubbing his hands, "Let's play Paper Scissors Rock. I'm awesome at this game. Although I must admit, I am the best at everything."
"You said it!" Goku lifted his arm in the air. "High-fives for Vegeta!"
"No," said Vegeta. Goku sighed and put his arm down again.
"Well, here goes." The three Saiyajins huddled together. "One!" chanted Goku. "Two!" cried Gohan. "Three!" said Vegeta, hoping he was sounding badass and menacing. Their hands transformed into their symbol of choice, and they frantically compared their own fists to those of their neighbours.
"Paper beats rock," said Goku, nudging Gohan. "Looks like you lose, Gohan. And... er... what is that, Vegeta?"
"Dynamite," said Vegeta proudly.
"But there's no dynamite in paper, rock, scissors--"
"Or IS there?" Vegeta glared at Goku. "IS there, Kakarotto? How can you be so sure? Dynamite beats everything!"
Goku's face closed down as he focused all his intelligence on working out this problem. It was left to Gohan to step in and save the day.
"Vegeta," Gohan said reasonably. "He's right. There is no such thing as Dynamite."
"DYNAMITE EXPLODES!" screamed Vegeta, flapping his dynamite-fist in Gohan's face. "VEGETA WINS!" Gohan screamed and ran into the corner, where he curled into a ball and began to rock back and forth, mumbling into his palms.
"That's all sorted, then." Vegeta tugged on his spandex and flicked dust off his shoulder. "Get ready to see a master in action, Kakarotto. I've been training for seven years. I've learned a lot of things. I'm stronger now. Faster, too."
"Dynamite," muttered Goku, his voice hollow. Vegeta dropped into a fighting pose, his fists clenched before him. Pui-Pui, who was at least ten minutes behind on current events, just stared.
"Come on," Vegeta insisted. "Bring it. You got the goods, take them to the supermarket!"
"That didn't even make any sense," said Kaioshin, through gritted teeth. He began to thump his head slowly against the wall.
The shaken (but not stirred) Pui-Pui regained his wits. "Right," he said. "I can do this. I'm Pui-Pui. I trained under Dabura. I can fire blasts and stuff from my hands." He brightened up. "And I beat that slug! I can do this!" He did a sudden double backflip and pushed himself off the wall, hurtling through the air. "I'm fast! Bet you can't track my movements with your slow, stupid eyes!"
"I can't see him!" gloated Vegeta. "Where has he gone! Oh, gosh! He's so fast!"
"Ha!" said Pui-Pui. "I'm actually right behind you!"
"I was being sarcastic," said Vegeta. He sneered. "You're a joke, Pui-Pui."
"Actually, I was also being sarcastic," said Pui-Pui. "I'm right above you."
"Huh?" Vegeta glanced up, and Pui-Pui grinned down at him. The Saiyajin Prince frowned. "Hey, that's not how it's meant to go."
"Surprised by my speed?" Pui-Pui chuckled as he did another flip in the air and landed in the corner, bowing gracefully. "I haven't even started yet!"
--------
"This is great," said Babidi. "Pui-Pui's going to win for sure."
"Master--"
"Go Pui-Pui! Go! Yes! Beat that little redhead!"
"--Master--"
"Yes! You have him now! You've caught him by his breasts!"
"Master!"
"What, Dabura?"
"I've been trying to tell you for the last five minutes that this isn't the first level of the spaceship. Somehow, your crystal orb has been picking up some form of pornographic televised media."
"Ohhh," said Babidi thoughtfully. "That explains why Pui-Pui was doing all that stuff with his tongue instead of his fists."
"Before this becomes any bawdier, Master, I suggest you fix it." This is, after all, a G-Rated fanfiction.
"Who said that?" Babidi glanced upwards. "Something said something."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Master." Dabura shrugged. "Maybe it's merely the excitement of Majin Buu's imminent resurrection making you giddy with glee. No doubt you can hardly contain yourself from capering around the room engulfed in convulsions of joy, laughter and merriment bursting from within you."
"That's probably it," said Babidi. "That happens a lot to me, you know. Especially after I have my dreams that Majin Buu has been released from his cocoon. Shall I tell you about my most recent dream?"
"I'd rather you nailed my head to the ceiling, Master Babidi."
"Good," said Babidi, completely ignoring him. "It went like this..."
--------
Babidi leapt off the cloud and sailed down a slide of stars, giggling happily as he went. Oh, life was good. Sparkling unicorns flew past him, and he merrily picked them off with deft blows of his huge, muscular arms (for in his dream, he was not a wrinkled lemon, but a tall, muscular warrior, with great strength and long flowing locks of hair.)
He landed on a spongy surface that turned out to be Majin Buu's cocoon. "Strange," said Babidi, in his new booming tenor voice. "I've landed on Majin Buu's cocoon. I thought it was always a little smaller than this!"
Suddenly it writhed beneath his feet. "By gum!" cried Babidi. "It's hatching!" Then he was thrown off the cocoon and inexplicably landed in a vat of treacle, which he waded in for a bit before rising to the surface and spying the cocoon (now back to it's original size) sitting a metre away, splitting open. For some reason, it did so surrounded by a cloud of confetti.
"Your dreams are weird," said Dabura.
"It gets better!"
As the cocoon split open, it revealed a dark, menacing figure, a wraith cloaked in shadow that stepped forward into the light to reveal itself - Majin Buu! Destroyer of Worlds! Crusher of Dreams! Totally Awesome!
"I knew it!" cried Babidi. "I knew it all along! Majin Buu is a giant robot with a tiny little canopy at the top for me to ride in!" He clambered up the side of the Buubot and settled into the leather seat, and then began hitting randomly at the controls (his dream mind insisted that he knew what he was doing), and before he knew it he was flying through space, firing torpedoes and lasers at giant Kaioshins that flew at him from all directions.
"Oh, Babidi," roared Majin Buu, in a voice that was much like the pet dinosaur Babidi had always wanted. "Let us be friends forever."
"Friends forever!" Babidi hit the Nuclear Flamethrow attack. "Take that, Kaioshin!"
---------
"And you see," finished Babidi, "That is my dream."
Dabura had backed away to a safe distance, and now studied his master dubiously. "You dream that Majin Buu is a giant robot that you can pilot through space?"
"More or less."
The Demon King stared at the cocoon, and did some mental calculations. "Master, a giant robot wouldn't fit in there."
"I'm not very big," said Babidi pathetically. "I wouldn't mind if it was a small robot."
"I wonder how Pui-Pui is doing," said Dabura, very slowly and very deliberately. "Maybe we should have a look."
"Yes! Pui-Pui! Good idea! What's that little rascal up to now, then?"
--------
"It's time to get serious," said Vegeta. "And everybody here knows what happens when I get serious."
"You get beaten up," Gohan helpfully provided.
"Shut up!" Vegeta motioned mockingly at Pui-Pui. "Come on, you fool. Fight me! Attack me with everything you've got! If you can't handle the heat, then don't sit in front of the fireplace in your thick woolly jacket!"
Kaioshin slammed his face so hard into the wall that he briefly lapsed into a coma.
"If that's what you want," said Pui-Pui casually. "But I warn you. I learned something in the Gravity Holodeck of Time and Space."
"The what?" Vegeta waved his hand dismissively. "Whatever. It can't be all that important."
"You'll see," said Pui-Pui to himself. "You'll all see!"
"Who gets to go first?" said Goku. "This is so exciting!"
"Clearly, I am the most qualified to fight any villain we're up against," said Vegeta smugly. "Hey! Stop laughing at me! Don't mock me! I'll cut you!"
"Sorry, Vegeta," said Gohan, trying to regain his self control. "No offense. But seriously, the only good way to decide this is with a game of Paper Scissors Rock."
Vegeta rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You know," he said. "I'm often considered to be a master tactician, and I just had a brilliant, tactical idea. What if we decided who would fight first with a game of Paper Scissors Rock?"
"Brilliant idea, Vegeta!" Goku danced a tiny dance of joy. "I'm so lucky to have you as my son!"
Gohan wept quietly as Kaioshin stepped in and shook his hands frantically. "Don't you think we should all fight him together? Babidi's warriors are the fiercest in the universe!"
"Fierce?" said Vegeta. "Or NOT fierce?"
"That's our master tactician Vegeta," Goku burbled happily. "Always knows the answer."
Kaioshin staggered away, pressing his forehead against the cool metal wall hoping that this horrible dream would end. "Now," said Vegeta, rubbing his hands, "Let's play Paper Scissors Rock. I'm awesome at this game. Although I must admit, I am the best at everything."
"You said it!" Goku lifted his arm in the air. "High-fives for Vegeta!"
"No," said Vegeta. Goku sighed and put his arm down again.
"Well, here goes." The three Saiyajins huddled together. "One!" chanted Goku. "Two!" cried Gohan. "Three!" said Vegeta, hoping he was sounding badass and menacing. Their hands transformed into their symbol of choice, and they frantically compared their own fists to those of their neighbours.
"Paper beats rock," said Goku, nudging Gohan. "Looks like you lose, Gohan. And... er... what is that, Vegeta?"
"Dynamite," said Vegeta proudly.
"But there's no dynamite in paper, rock, scissors--"
"Or IS there?" Vegeta glared at Goku. "IS there, Kakarotto? How can you be so sure? Dynamite beats everything!"
Goku's face closed down as he focused all his intelligence on working out this problem. It was left to Gohan to step in and save the day.
"Vegeta," Gohan said reasonably. "He's right. There is no such thing as Dynamite."
"DYNAMITE EXPLODES!" screamed Vegeta, flapping his dynamite-fist in Gohan's face. "VEGETA WINS!" Gohan screamed and ran into the corner, where he curled into a ball and began to rock back and forth, mumbling into his palms.
"That's all sorted, then." Vegeta tugged on his spandex and flicked dust off his shoulder. "Get ready to see a master in action, Kakarotto. I've been training for seven years. I've learned a lot of things. I'm stronger now. Faster, too."
"Dynamite," muttered Goku, his voice hollow. Vegeta dropped into a fighting pose, his fists clenched before him. Pui-Pui, who was at least ten minutes behind on current events, just stared.
"Come on," Vegeta insisted. "Bring it. You got the goods, take them to the supermarket!"
"That didn't even make any sense," said Kaioshin, through gritted teeth. He began to thump his head slowly against the wall.
The shaken (but not stirred) Pui-Pui regained his wits. "Right," he said. "I can do this. I'm Pui-Pui. I trained under Dabura. I can fire blasts and stuff from my hands." He brightened up. "And I beat that slug! I can do this!" He did a sudden double backflip and pushed himself off the wall, hurtling through the air. "I'm fast! Bet you can't track my movements with your slow, stupid eyes!"
"I can't see him!" gloated Vegeta. "Where has he gone! Oh, gosh! He's so fast!"
"Ha!" said Pui-Pui. "I'm actually right behind you!"
"I was being sarcastic," said Vegeta. He sneered. "You're a joke, Pui-Pui."
"Actually, I was also being sarcastic," said Pui-Pui. "I'm right above you."
"Huh?" Vegeta glanced up, and Pui-Pui grinned down at him. The Saiyajin Prince frowned. "Hey, that's not how it's meant to go."
"Surprised by my speed?" Pui-Pui chuckled as he did another flip in the air and landed in the corner, bowing gracefully. "I haven't even started yet!"
--------
"This is great," said Babidi. "Pui-Pui's going to win for sure."
"Master--"
"Go Pui-Pui! Go! Yes! Beat that little redhead!"
"--Master--"
"Yes! You have him now! You've caught him by his breasts!"
"Master!"
"What, Dabura?"
"I've been trying to tell you for the last five minutes that this isn't the first level of the spaceship. Somehow, your crystal orb has been picking up some form of pornographic televised media."
"Ohhh," said Babidi thoughtfully. "That explains why Pui-Pui was doing all that stuff with his tongue instead of his fists."
"Before this becomes any bawdier, Master, I suggest you fix it." This is, after all, a G-Rated fanfiction.
"Who said that?" Babidi glanced upwards. "Something said something."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Master." Dabura shrugged. "Maybe it's merely the excitement of Majin Buu's imminent resurrection making you giddy with glee. No doubt you can hardly contain yourself from capering around the room engulfed in convulsions of joy, laughter and merriment bursting from within you."
"That's probably it," said Babidi. "That happens a lot to me, you know. Especially after I have my dreams that Majin Buu has been released from his cocoon. Shall I tell you about my most recent dream?"
"I'd rather you nailed my head to the ceiling, Master Babidi."
"Good," said Babidi, completely ignoring him. "It went like this..."
--------
Babidi leapt off the cloud and sailed down a slide of stars, giggling happily as he went. Oh, life was good. Sparkling unicorns flew past him, and he merrily picked them off with deft blows of his huge, muscular arms (for in his dream, he was not a wrinkled lemon, but a tall, muscular warrior, with great strength and long flowing locks of hair.)
He landed on a spongy surface that turned out to be Majin Buu's cocoon. "Strange," said Babidi, in his new booming tenor voice. "I've landed on Majin Buu's cocoon. I thought it was always a little smaller than this!"
Suddenly it writhed beneath his feet. "By gum!" cried Babidi. "It's hatching!" Then he was thrown off the cocoon and inexplicably landed in a vat of treacle, which he waded in for a bit before rising to the surface and spying the cocoon (now back to it's original size) sitting a metre away, splitting open. For some reason, it did so surrounded by a cloud of confetti.
"Your dreams are weird," said Dabura.
"It gets better!"
As the cocoon split open, it revealed a dark, menacing figure, a wraith cloaked in shadow that stepped forward into the light to reveal itself - Majin Buu! Destroyer of Worlds! Crusher of Dreams! Totally Awesome!
"I knew it!" cried Babidi. "I knew it all along! Majin Buu is a giant robot with a tiny little canopy at the top for me to ride in!" He clambered up the side of the Buubot and settled into the leather seat, and then began hitting randomly at the controls (his dream mind insisted that he knew what he was doing), and before he knew it he was flying through space, firing torpedoes and lasers at giant Kaioshins that flew at him from all directions.
"Oh, Babidi," roared Majin Buu, in a voice that was much like the pet dinosaur Babidi had always wanted. "Let us be friends forever."
"Friends forever!" Babidi hit the Nuclear Flamethrow attack. "Take that, Kaioshin!"
---------
"And you see," finished Babidi, "That is my dream."
Dabura had backed away to a safe distance, and now studied his master dubiously. "You dream that Majin Buu is a giant robot that you can pilot through space?"
"More or less."
The Demon King stared at the cocoon, and did some mental calculations. "Master, a giant robot wouldn't fit in there."
"I'm not very big," said Babidi pathetically. "I wouldn't mind if it was a small robot."
"I wonder how Pui-Pui is doing," said Dabura, very slowly and very deliberately. "Maybe we should have a look."
"Yes! Pui-Pui! Good idea! What's that little rascal up to now, then?"
--------
"It's time to get serious," said Vegeta. "And everybody here knows what happens when I get serious."
"You get beaten up," Gohan helpfully provided.
"Shut up!" Vegeta motioned mockingly at Pui-Pui. "Come on, you fool. Fight me! Attack me with everything you've got! If you can't handle the heat, then don't sit in front of the fireplace in your thick woolly jacket!"
Kaioshin slammed his face so hard into the wall that he briefly lapsed into a coma.
"If that's what you want," said Pui-Pui casually. "But I warn you. I learned something in the Gravity Holodeck of Time and Space."
"The what?" Vegeta waved his hand dismissively. "Whatever. It can't be all that important."
"You'll see," said Pui-Pui to himself. "You'll all see!"