Vegeta attacked.
Years of training propelled the Saiyajin Prince forward. With several deft, powerful blows, he struck at Pui-Pui's exoskeleton, knocking the Pui back. Recoiling, and then recovering, Pui-Pui attacked with the Hundred Fists of Pui-Pui (which was actually three small punches and an uppercut, mathematics not being Pui-Pui's strong point). Vegeta ducked the first two punches but was caught off guard by the third, and the uppercut knocked him back.
The little Saiyajin rubbed his jaw. "You fool! You're no match for me with that level of punching power!"
"Oh, yeah?" Pui-Pui snickered. "I am rubber, you are glue! Bounces off me and sticks to you!"
"Curses!" Vegeta lowered his head in shame. "He is a master of insults."
Pui-Pui stepped back then leapt forward, diving into the Million Kicks Attack (all seven of them). Vegeta dodged Pui-Pui's rapidly blurring leg and swooped around him, striking from the side. Pui-Pui was sent flying but recovered in the air, then headbutted the rapidly approaching Vegeta in the chest. Vegeta fell backwards with a grunt as the air was forced out of him.
"That was my Super Pui-Pui Headbutt," said Pui-Pui proudly. "Now, that's what I call using your head!"
Despite his lack of oxygen, Vegeta laughed. "Using your head! That's priceless! But are you prepared for this? It's my Final Foot!"
Pui-Pui blocked it, although the strength of the kick made him wince. "That was just a kick."
"No," growled Vegeta. "Final Foot."
"This is fascinating," said Kaioshin. "They're equally matched in their stupidity."
Vegeta resumed his assault, his gloved fists raining down hammer blows on Pui-Pui's exoskeleton. Taken off guard, Pui-Pui endured the attacks before breaking free and attempting a two-handed hammer blow from above. Unfortunately, Vegeta's hair impaled Pui-Pui's hands, and as the Pui screamed in agony Vegeta took the advantage of charging up a small ki blast and hurtling it at his opponent. It exploded on impact, forcing Pui-Pui back into the metal wall. The Pui grunted as he left a Pui-Pui sized dent in the spaceship.
"Now that's what I call using your ki blast!" said Vegeta proudly. Kaioshin sighed. Pui-Pui popped himself free and slithered to his feet.
"You know," said Vegeta, "I'm not even using a fraction of my power."
Pui-Pui frowned. He had to focus on his training. He had to use the newfound power he felt swimming around inside him like a crazed dolphin encased in a lead cocoon. He tried to focus on his inner ki, but felt it slipping away. He wasn't ready!
"You know what would be cool?" said Babidi. "If we teleported them all to Pui-Pui's home planet. The gravity there is an incredible 10 TIMES EARTH'S GRAVITY!"
"Terrifying," said Dabura.
"They'll be squashed! SPLAT!" Babidi slammed his fist into his palm, just in case Dabura didn't grasp the concept of splatting. "Flatter than Flat Albert!"
"That's Fat Albert," said Dabura. "And we don't even know who he is."
"Right," said Babidi absently. "Now, let's see... Pappara-Pa! You know, I've often thought I should come up with a new magic phrase. Something catchier. Like, 'Dance-Dance-PAZAM!'"
Dabura's hands twitched as he tried to focus instead on the fascinating wall in front of him.
Meanwhile, on the first level of the Spaceship, things were getting seriously funky.
"What's happening?" shouted Goku, above the roaring sound as they were forcibly dislocated from their coordinates in time and space and sent hurtling like a temporal frisbee.
"I think Babidi has cast a spell that is transporting us from one place in the timespace in the continuum to another," Kaioshin replied. "Our physical location is being interchanged with that in another location of the galaxy."
"Ah," said Gohan. "So, in essence, we're experiencing a shift in the sub-quantum level of the physical molecular universe."
"Precisely."
"Wouldn't that have repercussions for the looping effect in the dynamic arrays of hyperspace?"
"Possibly, but I think that the law of sub-dividing atoms has priority in this instance."
"I bet those taste good," said Goku, trying to be helpful.
Suddenly the madness stopped. They were not in the Spaceship, they were in...
...a planet, barren and wasted, with an atmosphere so thin that the sky above them was nothing but a quilt of stars and distant galaxies sprinkled into formation.
Vegeta stopped crouching in his patented fighting pose and glanced around uncertainly. "Hey," he said. "Something has changed, but I can't quite put my finger on it."
"We're on a different planet," said Pui-Pui.
"Oh. Nothing big, then."
Pui-Pui smiled proudly as he looked upon his world. "Behold! Pui. This planet you see before you laying in ruins. Cities are nothing but crumbled piles of rubble, lakes are dried out beds of salt, the ground itself strewn with the masonry of our civilisation."
"What happened here?" asked Gohan. "Was there a great disaster?"
"Huh? No, it's always been like this. This is how Puis build things. We take some rocks and break them, and throw the pieces all over the place. We're very advanced." He lifted one of those rocks from the ground, and held it in the air. "Now, let me show you the deadly secret of Planet Pui!"
He dropped the rock, and instead of hitting the ground and stopping, it punched right through. "Ten times normal gravity," said Pui-Pui menacingly. "Ten. Times. Normal. Gravity."
"Oh no!" screamed Goku. "Not ten times normal gravity!"
"Yes!" gloated Pui-Pui. "TEN TIMES NORMAL GRAVITY!"
Vegeta giggled, realised that Saiyajin Princes can't giggle, and tried to adapt it to a high-pitched chuckle. "You have to be joking. Ten times gravity? If you had said six BILLION TRILLION QILLION times gravity, you might have scared me... but ten times gravity is nothing at all!"
"Qillion isn't a real number," said Kaioshin.
"Qilions of people would disagree with you," said Vegeta sternly. "And now, it's time I showed you the true power of a Saiyajin!"
With a roar, he began building up his energy. They waited patiently for the roar to stop. Five minutes later, Vegeta was looking distinctly uncomfortable as he continued roaring while making desperate hand motions and flailing at the air with his arms.
"Damn!" said Gohan, realising. "He's become stuck in Power Up Scream!"
Vegeta was beginning to turn purple, and sweat had broken out on his forehead. "If we don't help him soon," said Gohan, "He'll suffocate! He'd probably even die! We've got to help him!"
"Do we really have to?" asked Kaioshin hopefully.
"Shame on you!" scolded Gohan. "Vegeta is our true and loyal friend! It's not like he'd ever betray us and become Majin Vegeta, or something silly like that! Dad, can you help out poor Vegeta?"
By now, Vegeta's powerful roar had been reduced to a frantic raspy whistle. Nodding, Goku stepped over and slapped Vegeta until the power up scream stopped abruptly. Vegeta took in several huge gulps of air and mopped his head with his forearm.
"Whooo," gasped Vegeta. "Wow. That was close." He rubbed his throat. "I'll never power up ever again! Now, where was I? Oh, that's right, powering up. Hiyaaaaaaaaaa!"
With a dramatic flare of golden light, Vegeta's body was illuminated with the power of Super Saiyajin. His hair, once black, was now golden, and he glared at Pui-Pui with his newly coloured eyes. "What do you think?"
"Black suits you better," said Pui-Pui.
"Really?"
"Yes. It goes better with the blue spandex."
"But... I have super power now!" Vegeta insisted. "Super ultimate power!"
"What good is super ultimate power if your hair completely clashes with your outfit?" said Pui-Pui dismissively. "You're not even a worthy opponent anymore."
"I'll show you!" roared Vegeta. "I'll show you the power of Super Saiyajin Prince Lord Ultra Dance Robot Mega Z Vegeta!"
Pui-Pui closed his eyes, and focused. He needed to...
..."remember your training, Pui-Pui."
"What happens if I forget?" said Pui-Pui. "Is there some sort of quiz?"
"No," said Dabura. "But if you forget your training, you won't be able to use it in a fight, will you?"
"That's a good point."
"Now tell me," said Dabura, his arms crossed. "What is the thing a man has to fear the most?"
Pui-Pui considered this. "Self-doubt. A man who fears his own ability is a man who cannot reach his potential."
"No! Stupid Pui-Pui! The answer is,'A cyborg velociraptor that can shoot lasers out of it's eyes!'"
Pui-Pui blinked. "Oh. Right."
"Let's say that you are attacked by that velociraptor," said Dabura. "He approaches you. You know that he can read all your moves, that's he faster than you, that he can fire lasers from his eyes. How will you defeat him?"
Pui-Pui nodded. "I will become one with him. I will know his moves, his ways, and I will seek to match him - I will become my opponent, and he shall become me."
"Where are you getting all this rubbish from?" said Dabura, scowling. "The answer is, 'Blow him up with some sort of huge ki attack.'"
"I think my answer was better."
"Okay, fine. Seek to become one with your opponent, and then blow him up with some sort of huge ki attack. Do you know well these lessons, Pui-Pui?"
"Not really."
Dabura sighed. "Can you just say, 'Yes, sensei, I know them well'?"
"Wouldn't that be lying?"
"Fine!" snapped Dabura. "What DID you learn from your training?"
"Er, let's see," said Pui-Pui. "I did learn the Puioken Technique."
"What? Who taught you that?"
"I sort of made it up as we went along. See, I take all my energy, and I use it one incredible burst!"
"How can you just learn a technique apparently at random? That's just stupid."
"But so am I!"
"Hmm," said Dabura, scratching his goatee thoughtfully. "You have a very good point there. Well then, Pui-Pui. That is your lesson - remember well the Puioken Technique that I taught you."
"You never taught me tha--"
Dabura glared.
"--I mean, thanks for teaching the Puioken, Dabura. I'll remember it always. How can I not remember it? When cornered by a much stronger opponent, I can focus the Puioken to increase my strength and speed. I can overwhelm them with a powerful Puioken x 20 and then finish them with the might of a Puioken x 10. If I were ever to be attacked by somebody who I could not defeat by conventional means, I would assault him with the Puioken, granting myself certain victory."
"Indeed," said Dabura.
Pui-Pui waited.
"You can stop having a flashback now."
"Oh, right."
...Pui-Pui opened his eyes. "Oh, well, THAT was helpful," he complained. "Why couldn't my flashback have given me a hint on how to beat my opponent, huh?"
"Time to die!" cried Vegeta, leaping in for the kill.
Years of training propelled the Saiyajin Prince forward. With several deft, powerful blows, he struck at Pui-Pui's exoskeleton, knocking the Pui back. Recoiling, and then recovering, Pui-Pui attacked with the Hundred Fists of Pui-Pui (which was actually three small punches and an uppercut, mathematics not being Pui-Pui's strong point). Vegeta ducked the first two punches but was caught off guard by the third, and the uppercut knocked him back.
The little Saiyajin rubbed his jaw. "You fool! You're no match for me with that level of punching power!"
"Oh, yeah?" Pui-Pui snickered. "I am rubber, you are glue! Bounces off me and sticks to you!"
"Curses!" Vegeta lowered his head in shame. "He is a master of insults."
Pui-Pui stepped back then leapt forward, diving into the Million Kicks Attack (all seven of them). Vegeta dodged Pui-Pui's rapidly blurring leg and swooped around him, striking from the side. Pui-Pui was sent flying but recovered in the air, then headbutted the rapidly approaching Vegeta in the chest. Vegeta fell backwards with a grunt as the air was forced out of him.
"That was my Super Pui-Pui Headbutt," said Pui-Pui proudly. "Now, that's what I call using your head!"
Despite his lack of oxygen, Vegeta laughed. "Using your head! That's priceless! But are you prepared for this? It's my Final Foot!"
Pui-Pui blocked it, although the strength of the kick made him wince. "That was just a kick."
"No," growled Vegeta. "Final Foot."
"This is fascinating," said Kaioshin. "They're equally matched in their stupidity."
Vegeta resumed his assault, his gloved fists raining down hammer blows on Pui-Pui's exoskeleton. Taken off guard, Pui-Pui endured the attacks before breaking free and attempting a two-handed hammer blow from above. Unfortunately, Vegeta's hair impaled Pui-Pui's hands, and as the Pui screamed in agony Vegeta took the advantage of charging up a small ki blast and hurtling it at his opponent. It exploded on impact, forcing Pui-Pui back into the metal wall. The Pui grunted as he left a Pui-Pui sized dent in the spaceship.
"Now that's what I call using your ki blast!" said Vegeta proudly. Kaioshin sighed. Pui-Pui popped himself free and slithered to his feet.
"You know," said Vegeta, "I'm not even using a fraction of my power."
Pui-Pui frowned. He had to focus on his training. He had to use the newfound power he felt swimming around inside him like a crazed dolphin encased in a lead cocoon. He tried to focus on his inner ki, but felt it slipping away. He wasn't ready!
"You know what would be cool?" said Babidi. "If we teleported them all to Pui-Pui's home planet. The gravity there is an incredible 10 TIMES EARTH'S GRAVITY!"
"Terrifying," said Dabura.
"They'll be squashed! SPLAT!" Babidi slammed his fist into his palm, just in case Dabura didn't grasp the concept of splatting. "Flatter than Flat Albert!"
"That's Fat Albert," said Dabura. "And we don't even know who he is."
"Right," said Babidi absently. "Now, let's see... Pappara-Pa! You know, I've often thought I should come up with a new magic phrase. Something catchier. Like, 'Dance-Dance-PAZAM!'"
Dabura's hands twitched as he tried to focus instead on the fascinating wall in front of him.
Meanwhile, on the first level of the Spaceship, things were getting seriously funky.
"What's happening?" shouted Goku, above the roaring sound as they were forcibly dislocated from their coordinates in time and space and sent hurtling like a temporal frisbee.
"I think Babidi has cast a spell that is transporting us from one place in the timespace in the continuum to another," Kaioshin replied. "Our physical location is being interchanged with that in another location of the galaxy."
"Ah," said Gohan. "So, in essence, we're experiencing a shift in the sub-quantum level of the physical molecular universe."
"Precisely."
"Wouldn't that have repercussions for the looping effect in the dynamic arrays of hyperspace?"
"Possibly, but I think that the law of sub-dividing atoms has priority in this instance."
"I bet those taste good," said Goku, trying to be helpful.
Suddenly the madness stopped. They were not in the Spaceship, they were in...
...a planet, barren and wasted, with an atmosphere so thin that the sky above them was nothing but a quilt of stars and distant galaxies sprinkled into formation.
Vegeta stopped crouching in his patented fighting pose and glanced around uncertainly. "Hey," he said. "Something has changed, but I can't quite put my finger on it."
"We're on a different planet," said Pui-Pui.
"Oh. Nothing big, then."
Pui-Pui smiled proudly as he looked upon his world. "Behold! Pui. This planet you see before you laying in ruins. Cities are nothing but crumbled piles of rubble, lakes are dried out beds of salt, the ground itself strewn with the masonry of our civilisation."
"What happened here?" asked Gohan. "Was there a great disaster?"
"Huh? No, it's always been like this. This is how Puis build things. We take some rocks and break them, and throw the pieces all over the place. We're very advanced." He lifted one of those rocks from the ground, and held it in the air. "Now, let me show you the deadly secret of Planet Pui!"
He dropped the rock, and instead of hitting the ground and stopping, it punched right through. "Ten times normal gravity," said Pui-Pui menacingly. "Ten. Times. Normal. Gravity."
"Oh no!" screamed Goku. "Not ten times normal gravity!"
"Yes!" gloated Pui-Pui. "TEN TIMES NORMAL GRAVITY!"
Vegeta giggled, realised that Saiyajin Princes can't giggle, and tried to adapt it to a high-pitched chuckle. "You have to be joking. Ten times gravity? If you had said six BILLION TRILLION QILLION times gravity, you might have scared me... but ten times gravity is nothing at all!"
"Qillion isn't a real number," said Kaioshin.
"Qilions of people would disagree with you," said Vegeta sternly. "And now, it's time I showed you the true power of a Saiyajin!"
With a roar, he began building up his energy. They waited patiently for the roar to stop. Five minutes later, Vegeta was looking distinctly uncomfortable as he continued roaring while making desperate hand motions and flailing at the air with his arms.
"Damn!" said Gohan, realising. "He's become stuck in Power Up Scream!"
Vegeta was beginning to turn purple, and sweat had broken out on his forehead. "If we don't help him soon," said Gohan, "He'll suffocate! He'd probably even die! We've got to help him!"
"Do we really have to?" asked Kaioshin hopefully.
"Shame on you!" scolded Gohan. "Vegeta is our true and loyal friend! It's not like he'd ever betray us and become Majin Vegeta, or something silly like that! Dad, can you help out poor Vegeta?"
By now, Vegeta's powerful roar had been reduced to a frantic raspy whistle. Nodding, Goku stepped over and slapped Vegeta until the power up scream stopped abruptly. Vegeta took in several huge gulps of air and mopped his head with his forearm.
"Whooo," gasped Vegeta. "Wow. That was close." He rubbed his throat. "I'll never power up ever again! Now, where was I? Oh, that's right, powering up. Hiyaaaaaaaaaa!"
With a dramatic flare of golden light, Vegeta's body was illuminated with the power of Super Saiyajin. His hair, once black, was now golden, and he glared at Pui-Pui with his newly coloured eyes. "What do you think?"
"Black suits you better," said Pui-Pui.
"Really?"
"Yes. It goes better with the blue spandex."
"But... I have super power now!" Vegeta insisted. "Super ultimate power!"
"What good is super ultimate power if your hair completely clashes with your outfit?" said Pui-Pui dismissively. "You're not even a worthy opponent anymore."
"I'll show you!" roared Vegeta. "I'll show you the power of Super Saiyajin Prince Lord Ultra Dance Robot Mega Z Vegeta!"
Pui-Pui closed his eyes, and focused. He needed to...
..."remember your training, Pui-Pui."
"What happens if I forget?" said Pui-Pui. "Is there some sort of quiz?"
"No," said Dabura. "But if you forget your training, you won't be able to use it in a fight, will you?"
"That's a good point."
"Now tell me," said Dabura, his arms crossed. "What is the thing a man has to fear the most?"
Pui-Pui considered this. "Self-doubt. A man who fears his own ability is a man who cannot reach his potential."
"No! Stupid Pui-Pui! The answer is,'A cyborg velociraptor that can shoot lasers out of it's eyes!'"
Pui-Pui blinked. "Oh. Right."
"Let's say that you are attacked by that velociraptor," said Dabura. "He approaches you. You know that he can read all your moves, that's he faster than you, that he can fire lasers from his eyes. How will you defeat him?"
Pui-Pui nodded. "I will become one with him. I will know his moves, his ways, and I will seek to match him - I will become my opponent, and he shall become me."
"Where are you getting all this rubbish from?" said Dabura, scowling. "The answer is, 'Blow him up with some sort of huge ki attack.'"
"I think my answer was better."
"Okay, fine. Seek to become one with your opponent, and then blow him up with some sort of huge ki attack. Do you know well these lessons, Pui-Pui?"
"Not really."
Dabura sighed. "Can you just say, 'Yes, sensei, I know them well'?"
"Wouldn't that be lying?"
"Fine!" snapped Dabura. "What DID you learn from your training?"
"Er, let's see," said Pui-Pui. "I did learn the Puioken Technique."
"What? Who taught you that?"
"I sort of made it up as we went along. See, I take all my energy, and I use it one incredible burst!"
"How can you just learn a technique apparently at random? That's just stupid."
"But so am I!"
"Hmm," said Dabura, scratching his goatee thoughtfully. "You have a very good point there. Well then, Pui-Pui. That is your lesson - remember well the Puioken Technique that I taught you."
"You never taught me tha--"
Dabura glared.
"--I mean, thanks for teaching the Puioken, Dabura. I'll remember it always. How can I not remember it? When cornered by a much stronger opponent, I can focus the Puioken to increase my strength and speed. I can overwhelm them with a powerful Puioken x 20 and then finish them with the might of a Puioken x 10. If I were ever to be attacked by somebody who I could not defeat by conventional means, I would assault him with the Puioken, granting myself certain victory."
"Indeed," said Dabura.
Pui-Pui waited.
"You can stop having a flashback now."
"Oh, right."
...Pui-Pui opened his eyes. "Oh, well, THAT was helpful," he complained. "Why couldn't my flashback have given me a hint on how to beat my opponent, huh?"
"Time to die!" cried Vegeta, leaping in for the kill.