Chapter 2
So far, Zofia just ran into some screaming maniac at the door.
Lena- I'll go help her. (goes downstairs)
Lena, one of the Tatu girls, runs downstairs to see why Zofia screamed. She finds her standing there, listening to a poorly-dressed woman talking about lie on the Oregon trail.
Caroline- ...and THAT is why ya'll best be sign'n on with me, Greenhorn!
Zofia- uhh...ok.
Lena- Are you ok?
Caroline- Darn tootin'! I'm healthy as a horse on the track in the rain on Sunday!
Lena- I'm glad to hear that, but I wasn't talking to you.
Caroline- Oh. Wanna hear my life story?
Zofia- NO!
Caroline- Aww, shucks.
Zofia- Just be quiet, you. I'm fine, Lena.
Lena- Ok, good.
Zofia and Lena go back upstairs, where Yulia (the other member of tatu) is singing a chorus of 'Robot'. Caroline (the slob) follows them.
Romanov- Good to see you. You're ok.
Caroline- Yessiree I am!
Romanov- Zofia, who the hell is that?
Zofia- I don't know.
Caroline- Aw, come on now! I told ya'll who I am. I'm the illegitimate child of Jesse James and Annie Oakley, raised by some poor nobodies till I was 4, then they died of dysentery. So I became a bar dancer, a bronco buster, a mule skinner, and a scout in the Mexican War!
Zofia- Shut up!
Ivan- Yeah...
Caroline- Aw, I was just getting' to the good part!
Romanov- What are you doing here?
Caroline- Got sent.
Romanov- By who?
Caroline- President Dugan!
Romanov- Oh, God.
Yulia- Let's get back to singing.
Lena- Yeah.
Tatu- Prosto, Poluchilos tak, ya t'per tvoi vrag
Caroline- (interrupts them) Holy Bejesus!
Yulia- What?
Caroline- Ya'll Russian schoolgirls wanna kill off all the Americans!
Zofia- Duh. You didn't know that?
Caroline- Holy smokin' Pete! Yer in on it too, Greenhorn!
Ivan- Duh.
Caroline- Gasp!
Lena- You almost feel bad for her...she's too dumb for her own good.
Ivan- Yeah, almost.
Romanov- Zofia! (points to Caroline) Get that thing out of here!
Zofia- Yes sir. (Rolls Caroline out the door)
Caroline- (As she rolls) I'll be back, Greenhorn! I'll be back!
And that wraps up chapter two! Like it so far? If ya do, read chapter 3! If ya don't, read it anyway!