Whoooo! I'm running! I'm running! I'm… oh, hi there. I don't exactly have anything to say at this point, so we'll cut the opening author's comment and get right on with the story. Wait… this is and author's note! Crap… erm… well… anyways…Disclaimer! Right!
Update! (08/20/2004) Fixed the non-asterisk problem and a few spelling errors, as well as some grammatical flaws. Boy, rough chappy, eh?
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim. There. I said it. You happy now?
Dib Snaps
Chapter 4: Unexpected Developments
Zim walked mundanely in his skoolkid disguise as Gir hopped, skipped, jumped, and munched on a taco from, where else? Krazy Taco. Little chunks of meat hit the ground as Gir chomped down his taco giddily in his green dog suit. Naturally, no one saw this as an oddity. Zim, however, hadn't come up with anything to help him out in his plans to stop the Dib human.
"Could it be that my incredible Irken mind is having some sort of function problem? I should be a superior genius! Why else would the Almighty Tallest trust me with such a secret mission?" He grumbled as he pulled out a small, portable blaster from his Pak and sighed. "I guess I'll just have to take him out the old fashioned way…" he let go of Gir's leash and pulled some sort of unlocking device at the top of the blaster. "Gir, go to the base and wait for me to issue you orders."
"Okie-dokie!" Gir jumped off happily making loud crunching noises, clutching his paper bag full of tacos as if it were a bag of stolen jewelry. Zim held up the blaster James Bond style and looked in the general direction of the Skool.
"Normally I don't like to do things so simply, Dib stink-beast, but your tactics leave me little other chose. NOW, prepare yourself for ULTIMATE DOOM!" He ran off evilly towards the skool. How did he know Dib was at skool? Well, he didn't. This is Zim we're talking about.
Dib's evil self dropped a plate of cafeteria food on the table in front of him and sat down with a dull, monotone look on his face. These… people… were incredibly stupid! Just so incredibly imbecilic! He took a spoon and slowly shoveled some peas into his mouth as, in his mind, an event from not five minutes ago replayed in his head.
"Dib! There you are! Everyone was looking for you; where'd you go?"
"Oh, uh… I was feeling little sick in here so I went for a walk and got a breath of fresh air. I feel better now."
"That's good… hey, what's that thing?"
"Oh this?" He hesitantly raised his katana. He was just about to hide it in the bushes as this random kid had caught him. "This… this is… a walking stick! I picked it up when I walked through the park." He felt as if a pile of bricks had just fallen on him. What a terrible excuse! There was no way that anyone would buy something so retarded; why wasn't he as-
"Oh, ok. Oh, and it's lunchtime. Maybe if you show up for the second half of the day Ms. Bitters won't be so angry at you. Anyway, see yah!"
He stared blankly at the space in front of him, his katana leaning against him underneath the table.
"I don't even feel challenged…so stupidly easy, how could the human race have possibly evolved into a group of such total morons? I don't even-" His thought process stopped as he heard some beeping noises from a certain portable game console. He looked over to his left to see Gaz, Dib's little (and inexplicably gothic-looking) sister. How she had come out the way she had was anyone's guess, but that was irrelevant. He finished chewing his peas as his face curled into a maniacal grin; and swallowed them. Victory was closer then he had seen coming. Inside his mind, he could tell Dib was watching.
What? Wait! What are you going to do to her? Stop!
"You're not exactly in a position to boss me around, Dib. I'm afraid the reaper is knocking on her doorstep!"
NO! STOP!
"He-llo Gaz…" His voice quivered with sadistic pleasure. "I was wondering-"
"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up, Dib?" He blinked at her in wonderment.
"Uh…"
"That's great, now shut up."
"But…" Some strange beeping noises came from her game system as she looked at him with blazing eyes.
"I died." As much as he couldn't help laughing inwardly at what she would never know she said was ironic, he couldn't contemplate why exactly this was critical.
"So? It's just a game." He found himself chewing on more peas. They weren't that bad tasting to him, or maybe he just didn't care. Gaz, on the other hand, had that crazy and twisted look on her face.
"Only a game? ONLY a GAME?!? THAT was the SECOND LAST LEVEL on the newest SUPER HAPPY NOODLE MAN 2 GAME!!!!" On a normal occasion, none of the kids would care, but Dib had been acting weirdly, so everyone turned to spectate. Would Dib hurt his own sister the way he had with the hall monitor? Nobody knew, but they all wanted to find out. Dib had his hand supporting his head as he leaned against the table with a smirk. He didn't want all this attention, but as he built up suspense, he could feel building rage on the inside. Dib. What a fool.
"And?" The room gasped. Nobody had the courage to talk to Gaz like that, not even Dib. But here he was, talking – and it wasn't exactly 'Dib' in control either. Gaz lunged to grab Dib by the neck, but Dib's own hand shot out from nowhere, and grabbed her wrist strongly as he ate his food nonchalantly, "Gimmie a minute, sis. I'm just about finished." Gaz growled furiously as she tore her wrist free from her 'brother's grip, which he reluctantly released. She attacked him with various hand strikes, but 'Dib' stopped them all with his free hand. He had one spoonful of potatoes left when he finally had it. In an instant, he grabbed Gaz's latest attack, and pushed her backwards using her own momentum, stood up as well as picked up his katana, unsheathed it with a SHING, and pointed it at her so it just barely touched her forehead. She reeled in fear as a drop of blood slowly made its way down her forehead.
"I tried to tell you that I was just about finished and then we could settle this, but oh no no no, you have to go being FRIGGEN ANNOYING!" he walked forward as she walked backwards. 'This was bad' was the collective thought of the skoolchildren; none of them wanted to make any stupid remarks, although calling Dib crazy would now be officially accurate. Dib was just going nuts in their collective mind, which was a great energy boost. And, just like before, Dib's victim's back hit a wall, but unlike Zim, this one would not escape…
"Now is the time for your departure so you may begin pining for the fjords, dear sister, and don't forget to write. Oh, wait. You won't be able to!" He moved his hand on the katana so he was holding it backwards (and allowing him to make a powerful right-to-left diagonal strike) and wound up for a slice. Gaz was too terrified to move; she covered her eyes in petrifaction.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
From the hallway, Zim had watched the whole domestic ordeal. Not like he really cared for Gaz, but Zim figured every person Dib killed, Zim wouldn't be able to kill. He wasn't just about to give up his credibility. He looked around. Much to his excitement, he spied a little red switch on the wall, and looked at it. The earth monkey wording on the little red 'box' thing around it said "pull in case of fire". Not exactly a fire, but this would get the people out of the building, and away from Dib. Just the way he had wanted to take that fool boy out without drawing too much attention to himself. He broke the glass and pulled the switch.
The moment before Dib's strike made contact, the nearly explosive sound of the fire alarm went off. The kids in the cafeteria were all too overjoyed to get out of there, but they weren't the only ones. From all the classrooms a pandemonium broke out which was mainly caused students b-lining their way to the skool exits. Dib's body twitched in an insane fury as he turned to see Zim standing in the doorway. Their eyes met with old rivalry. Dib tossed his katana to his left hand, and threw it towards the wall to the right side of him.
"AHHHHH!" The blade had firmly planted itself in Gaz's left shoulder. She grimaced in pain and confusion while inside his own mind Dib was shouting up a storm which included curses and insults. Although on the receiving end of both emotional assaults, the evil one didn't care, as he walked over to Gaz. Her fearful eyes met his manically grinning face.
"They say when a person is stabbed; the blade makes seal-type suction around the wound. Blood would get blocked, but none would escape, so they say the worst thing you can do when you're stabbed like that is to remove the blade." He gripped the hilt of the katana and yanked it out from her shoulder as she screamed and fell to the floor. "I take it your not going anywhere? Good, I'll finish you once I'm done with…" his focus moved from Gaz to Zim, who was both surprised and still enraged by this earth stink's behavior, "…him" he finished with a smirk.
"You're sick, primitive earth monkey." He raised his blaster, "and I have just the remedy for you." Dib smirked darkly.
"Bring it on, whelp. You won't live long enough to regret your stupidity." He returned the katana to his right hand and moved it to a diagonal-like position so the blood from his sister's wound would be forced off the blade. "Bring it!"
End Chapter 4
Do I hold no remorse? Yes! It's another cliffhanger! [dodges random fruits and other unanimous objects] Heh heh, I'm evil, aren't I? And now, for some review-replies.
Celestial Star Mali – Yeah, I realized that too after I finished the 2nd chapter. No worries, I have it taken care of. It'll be explained later on. Remember: there are NO plotholes in my story!
Pirate Monkey – [sigh of relief] Whew! Ok, thanks for that. No worries, and thanks for your comments. This isn't as graphic as I was planning on having it to be. I mean, once I came back from my long… uh… wherever I was I found out that NC-17 fics were no longer accepted here, I was all "as, forget that." Which is why I made the other Dib an intelligent psycho instead of a mindless one… aw, now I'm rambling! [shakes fist jokingly]
Everyone else – again, thanks for you kind words! n.n
The showdown between Evil Dib and Zim next time! Will Gaz survive? Will Dib regain control of himself? Will the fire truck ever show up? Will I stop with my long authors notes? Tune in next chapter to find out! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN!