"We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate…"
-Damien Rice
He was sitting on the bed in the motel room when she peered through the window. She watched him for a moment before knocking. He was staring at his opened palms. He didn't look like a seventeen year old boy; he looked like a man that worked his ass off. He was still in his work clothes, a blue jumpsuit with his name stenciled over the pocket. He needed a haircut. He sensed her presence and glanced up. He smiled.
She found that the door was open and when she stepped inside, his arms were around her. He smelled like sweat and car grease, but she didn't care. She was more concerned about the phone call that had brought her here.
"Hey, Ryan…" She started. He silenced her with his kiss. His hands squeezed her arms before settling on her lower back. He was always tentative, waiting for her to make the first move.
"Hailey…" He tasted like cigarettes.
"You called, I came…"
"You haven't come yet," He murmured as he started to kiss her neck. She smiled.
He was kissing her urgently.
"Ryan…what's going on?"
"I'll tell you after…I…I need you, Hailey…just for a little while…I don't want to think about anything except making you moan…" He whispered between kisses.
She relaxed as his hands hit all the right spots as he undressed her. He was urgent tonight and took her to the bed before she could protest any further.
Afterwards, he pushed himself off her and went into the bathroom.
"Ryan?" She knocked on the door when he didn't come out.
He swung it open. "Hey. Thanks for coming, Hailey…I just needed to see you," He admitted.
"What happened?" She put her arms around him and guided him to the bed.
"I got into this fight with Teresa and…and I just needed to be with someone…I needed to get out of there…" He murmured.
"What about?"
"Nothing."
"Ryan…"
"It was nothing. I'm just tired…" He muttered.
So he'd called her to come and comfort him but he wouldn't tell her what had happened. She knew it was something big, she could see it in his eyes. But she didn't push him. She lay down with him on the bed and held him in silence.
Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. "Ryan…"
"I have to go…I'm sorry, Hailey, for calling…" He started to sit up.
"No, don't be sorry, Ryan…I just wish you could talk to me…" She said. He'd been a sounding board for her since their first tryst. They were into double digits on trysts now.
"I can. I do…I just can't talk about this. Not right now," He replied.
"Okay, honey…it's okay," She said. And she meant it. He needed someone to hold him and if he let her be that person, then she was grateful. He'd dried her tears enough in the past few weeks.
"Thank you, Hailey…" He said, cupping her chin and kissing her deeply.
"You're welcome. You can't stay?"
"I can't stay. I'll call you tomorrow…"
She stopped him by taking his wrist. He looked at her. "You call me if you need me."
He nodded.
----- ------ --------- ---- - ------ ------
Hailey heard Seth's angry voice filter into the kitchen. She glanced outside and saw Kirsten, Jimmy and Sandy by the barbeque. She'd come over with Jimmy for Sunday dinner.
"Why do you even come here? Don't you have your own family to go home to?"
She waited for Ryan's reply but heard nothing but silence.
She was immediately tense. She knew how hurt and upset Ryan was about Seth's leaving and returning. He thought that it was his fault, he thought everything was his fault.
"No, you're here because you're too busy turning my family against me…"
"You know it's not like that, Seth…"
"Then why does my mom hate me?"
"She doesn't hate me and why don't you ask her?"
"Because she won't talk to me…"
Hailey winced, knowing how rare it used to be to hear them arguing. But after Seth's return, Kirsten's frigidity toward him had affected everything. Seth blamed Ryan for his mother's anger toward him, he couldn't accept the fact that she was truly upset with him. He'd started arguing with Ryan whenever he was at the house visiting. But only when Kirsten wasn't around. Sandy had heard them once and had stern words for Seth but the only reason she knew was because Ryan had confessed it to her.
"What are you even doing here? You left this all behind…" Seth was saying. Hailey wanted to break up the argument but didn't get the chance. Kirsten walked in and gave her a curious look. "You left this family to go live with that little tramp you knocked up…"
Kirsten gasped. She rushed into the other room. Hailey followed her, knowing that this was Kirsten's worst fear. She knew that Ryan and Seth hadn't been as close since his return but Kirsten was still waiting for them to make up. This wasn't what she wanted.
"How dare you say that to him!" Kirsten snapped at Seth. Ryan was silent. He turned and walked past Hailey into the kitchen and into the backyard. Hailey wanted to stop him, embrace him and tell him that Seth would come around but she couldn't. He didn't even meet her gaze. They were barely acquaintances when they were here. It was when they were alone that mattered. She'd wait.
"Mom…" Seth started.
"He left because he had a reason, he's trying to grow up and take responsibility for his actions. You left because you wanted to throw a tantrum. I won't let you talk to him that way. You should be ashamed. I raised you better than this," Kirsten snapped.
"But Mom…"
"No. Go to your room. Sandy will come up and talk to you later," Kirsten ordered. Once Seth had stormed up the stairs she turned to face Hailey.
"You okay?"
"Where's Ryan?" Kirsten asked.
"He went outside, I think…"
"Did you hear what else Seth said to him? Is he upset?" Kirsten asked her sister.
"I didn't really hear anything…" Hailey lied.
Kirsten gave her an impulsive hug, needing the contact. She hurried onto the patio. Ryan was helping Jimmy by the barbeque.
"What's going on?" Sandy asked. "Kirsten?"
"Is Ryan okay?"
"He's fine, what's wrong?" Sandy replied, putting his arm around her.
Hailey looked over and couldn't tell that anything out of the ordinary had happened. Ryan was talking quietly with Jimmy and was completely composed.
"Nothing, honey…nothing," Kirsten replied. "I'll tell you after dinner."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course."
Hailey wished she could smoothe over the family turmoil for her sister but she couldn't. She couldn't fix anyone's life. Not even her own. She glanced over and caught Jimmy's smile. Ryan didn't acknowledge her.