Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.Clear ( or maybe clean it this case?), isn't it?

A/N: My first Monk fanfic so please be kind and tell me what'd you think.PLEASE!!!

Sometimes things aren't just the way they seem to be. When you think something should be one way, it turns to be the other way round. It doesn't make sense at all, so I guess that's why people like me are called 'crazy'. That's just the way it should be. I guess. You don't get it, do you? I don't get it as well.Sometimes I feel something is incredibly wrong with something. For example, when something is crooked or when there's the 'bad number' of something. So I want to fix it. Not to make the world better, just to feel better myself. To make things right. But I'm usually wrong, that's what the others say. That's what Sharona says.That some things should be just the way they are and I'm not the person to change them. But the others once again would call me crazy. Well, I am, I guess. As long as I'm not like the others. That probably means things will never change to the others. For them I always will be just me. Why the world is not normal? Ok, why it is not normal for me? Why can't I just take things the way they truly are? Normal. What's the hell wrong with me.

These are not clean.Damn. It doesn't feel right at all.Not clean...

Sometimes there are days when his alright. When his talkin' normally, when his relaxed.

Sometimes I can actually say that his having fun being with people, shopping with me, talking with Benji.I know him for four long years.Four years of working together, taking care of eachother, laughing. I would do anything to make him stay the way he is that days: calm, feeling good, happy. I like seeing him happy. Even if he doesn't show it like the others. But then sometimes his like this.

"S-Sharona"

I look at his hands. I instantly know that he was washing them for a long time- maybe for hours, before I came. Brush is already red from the blood streaming from his palms, but there still is that nervousness in his movements.

"It's ok Adrian. You can stop now"

I turn the water off and gently grab his hands. I take fresh towel. He always wants fresh one.

"W-Wait Sharona, give me a, give me a m-moment. I've got to c-clean them"

He's not always like that. Usually he just gives up with cleaning and lets me take care of him. Something must have happened. Like last time when somebody at the police station 'accidentaly' soiled his hand with highlighter. Waterproof of course. They thought it was funny. Adults. Thought it was damn funny. I wish they saw his hands after he nearly teared his skin off during washing the flaw.

"It's ok now Adrian. I'll take care of it"

I start disinfect his palms. The strange thing is that he doesn't feel pain, at least he doesn't seem to realise that his 'cleaning' is painful, till I disinfect the wound. 'Cause I can only call it wound. It has to hurt. It would be easier to apply the antibacterial cream if it stopped bleeding. At moments like these I realise why Adrian call it curse.

At least he's starting to relax a bit.

"Thank you S-Sharona. I'm...uhm...just..."

"It's ok Adrian"

I can see he's ashamed. He always is, but I know he trust me. I'm not just a private nurse or assistant for him. I'm his friend. Now I can say- I'm proud of it. And happy.

"I'm sorry"

I bandage his palms, from fingers to wrists. The problem is that I will have to change them in hour, so he wouldn't think they're already dirty, and try to wash his hands once again. That happend at the beginning, when I didn't know him that good.

"Ok Adrian, you don't have to apologize. Just tell me what happened"

"N-Nothing"

He would always say that. And I would always stay with him.I wait till he calms down, and drive back to Benji. Sometimes he goes with me and we spend the evenings, mornings or nights together.Just like friends. Just like family.