The soul has, Dark murmured.
Well, yeah, maybe. He pushed that thought away.
In the days Daisuke was home now, he had spent a lot of time talking to his parents, either over the phone or personally. It had helped dealing with the horror. He had also called his professor in Prague, had given him an update about his 'family emergency' without going into details, and he was glad that Yamamato understood. He would get another chance.
Sitting together, Satoshi curled up against him, the TV running some nonsense program, Daisuke looked at his lover. Color had returned to Satoshi's pale cheeks and the dark bruises under the eyes had disappeared. He slept well, ate better, and the cuts were healing. His hands were no longer completely bandaged. Krad's first aid had been good.
Of course it would be, Dark muttered. He knows what he's doing
You know, you keep defending him any more and I'll start thinking you two really get along now, Daisuke teased a little.
Actually, we do.
He sent a chuckle, hearing Dark echo it.
The program ended and Daisuke leaned down, nuzzling Satoshi a little, planting a kiss on the familiar lips. Satoshi answered it softly.
"Sato?" Daisuke murmured, caressing the face.
"Hm?"
"Can I ask you?"
Hikari hesitated a moment, clearly aware what this was about.
"Will you answer?" Dai added hopefully.
He hadn't touched the why and what for at all. He had kept back, wanting his lover to heal, but there was this burning need to know. Finally Satoshi inhaled shakily, detaching himself from the warmth of the body next to him.
"Why did you do it?" Daisuke asked, taking it as a cue.
"It was my only way out, Daisuke."
"Why didn't you call me? I was just a phone call away!"
Satoshi didn't look at him, just smiled humorlessly. "What should I have said? Hello, I'm lonely, please come home? If I can't make it two months without you…."
"How do you think it feels to call and get Krad on the phone? These were special circumstances, Sato!" Daisuke cried.
"Dai… this was your chance…"
"And you're my life! I love you! I want to be there for you when you hurt!"
Satoshi lowered his eyes. "I saw no way out," he murmured again.
"Life is precious. Don't throw it away! I told you so before… remember?" Daisuke's fingers curled lightly around his wrist, brushing over the edge of the bandages.
"Yes, I do…"
"Back then I understood your desperation to end it all, but not this time! Satoshi… You can't want yourself to die," he repeated the words spoken so long ago.
Satoshi's head snapped up, some life returning the blue eyes. "I didn't want to end it, Dai. I'm not suicidal."
"Then why? Why try to cut your neck?"
Satoshi contemplated the blanket. "Short-circuit," he murmured. "I didn't want to end my life, just… erase the problem."
'You can't understand what it's like to bear the Hikari's fate.'
Daisuke recalled those words clearly.
No, he had had no idea. Daisuke had had a loving family, a mother, father and grandfather. Slightly weird, but his family. He had had support. He had had friends. Satoshi had been alone all his life, had been prepared for his destiny in a way that was so cold and ruthless as the creature that had resided inside him.
Daisuke would never be able to understand, but he had tried. He had wanted to understand, to be there for Satoshi, and they had talked, but he would never have believed his lover capable of this…
"Krad," Daisuke said tonelessly.
Satoshi nodded.
"You can't erase him, Sato."
"I know," came the soft reply.
"He saved you."
Satoshi shot him a dark look. "Of course, because he doesn't want to lose his body."
"Sato… he asked me to come home. He took care of you. He could have just used your state of mind to push you away, to take over, but he didn't. He separated and he stayed away for you to heal!"
Satoshi stared at the blanket again. "He probably has his reasons."
"Yes, he cares about you. In his way, he does. He didn't harm you, let alone neglect you. He stayed away until it was almost too late."
Daisuke touched his face and made him look at him.
"Sato, please. Just… look at him. Look at him now. He's no threat. He nearly passed out on us."
Satoshi grimaced. "Dai…"
"Please, do it for me?"
He squirmed.
"Sato…"
"Okay, okay."
And Satoshi hesitantly turned inward, looking for his demon. Krad was curled up in the back of his mind, far away, unresponsive, and completely without shields. In the vast nothingness, the whiteness, he seemed lost and alone. Not really awake, not really asleep. Krad had never slept to Satoshi's knowledge. He had always been there, in his mind, his thoughts, his dreams.
He studied the figure, so slender and small, no wings – none of the cool elegance of before. Still beautiful like an angel, though. Satoshi stopped that thought. Krad was no angel. He was a demon.
His demon.
But suddenly the threat factor was down several notches. He recalled gentle touches, caresses, a warm, solid body cradling him close. A soft voice speaking to him.
Loving…
He moved away again and blinked a little as he returned to the real world. Daisuke was watching him, smiling tentatively.
"Well?" his lover asked. "You think you can give him a chance?"
Satoshi exhaled softly. "I don't know, Dai. It remains to be seen.
Daisuke had planned on setting the mood, maybe a nice dinner, candle-light…
though Satoshi would probably kill him for overdoing the romance stuff…
and nice music. He would have ordered the food since his cooking was way
below the level of Satoshi's. His lover had fended for himself as a kid
already and he knew how to cook. It tasted excellent. Daisuke was more
of a microwave person. As long as the oven did the cooking for him, he
was fine.
But those plans, while still in the back of his head, were scrapped
when he looked at Satoshi, lying on the balcony, soaking up the sun. He
was still wearing a short-sleeve shirt, open, revealing his toned chest,
and shorts. Daisuke froze for a moment, want and need rising inside him
like a tidal wave.
Dark moved in the back of his mind, but he ignored him as he stepped
out onto the balcony, heading for the enticing sight on display. Daisuke
straddled his lover in one smooth move, plucked the book out of his hands
and leaned down for a kiss. Satoshi made a noise of surprise, answering
the insistent tongue, wrapping his arms around Daisuke in return.
They kissed lazily but with ever-growing urgency. Daisuke let himself
taste all of his lover as if it was their first time again, exploring his
neck and face and throat, tugging gently at the left ear with his teeth,
feeling Satoshi squirm under him as he suckled at the spot just below it.
His path took him to the left nipple, experimentally licking at the small
nub, which responded eagerly. Satoshi groaned a little, then more as he
scraped teeth gently over the sensitive spot.
"Dai..." he moaned.
"Yes, love?"
"Inside…"
"There's no one here to watch us," Daisuke told him.
"I still… prefer… a bed…!"
Daisuke grinned. He slowly, oh so slowly, slid down his lover's tall
form, watching the other's eyes widen and his lips open in a barely audible
gasp.
"Come," he whispered, holding out a hand.
Satoshi let himself be pulled up, right into the warm circle of Daisuke's
arms, to be welcomed by a hungry kiss that relayed everything.
Satoshi's breathing was loud in his ear, brushing over his skin. There
were faint tremors racing through the body in his arms and when they grew,
Daisuke pushed himself up. Strong arms curled immediately around him and
kept him from going too far.
"Sato?" he murmured, confusion and worry growing.
Tears were brimming in the blue eyes and fell silently. There were
so many emotions in those expressive eyes, none of them anywhere negative.
Daisuke smiled tenderly and kissed the tears, trailing them down to the
corner of Satoshi's mouth, then covering his lips.
Satoshi sobbed softly as they kissed, then clung to his lover, shaken
by the intensity of their love-making, of all the emotions from the last
few days.
"I love you," Daisuke whispered. "I love you, Hikari Satoshi. Very
much."
Satoshi just buried his head against one bare shoulder, crying silently,
riding out the flood of feelings until it was all dried up.