DISCLAIMER: I do not own "Yu-Gi-Oh!" or "Dragonball Z" (though I wish that I did). Kitt, Kat, Risika, Tengu, Tigra, and Koneko belong to AnimeKat 2002. Prue, Nikkia, Aerro, and Mackenzie belong to Prudence. However, I do own Ryoko, Hoofamon, Kenyamon, Shinmon, Plague, Zoe, Wolf, Merlin, Muff, and Sin.
"Can I Keep Them?"
"Okay, rule number one: Do as I say. Rule number two: Don't talk to me if I'm pissed. Rule number three---"
"Ignore her," Ryoko said as she interrupted Plague as they stood on the front porch.
"Ass fox!" Plague snarled.
"You're one to talk," Ryoko sighed. Kaiba smirked.
"Use your head next time, freak," he snorted. Plague picked up a chair and raised it above her head.
"I'LL SHOW YOU 'USING YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!'" She screeched. Ryoko grabbed the chair and smacked Plague across the face with it before setting it down. As Plague fell onto her face, Mokuba, Malik, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Bakura, Téa, and Yugi stared in shock. Ryoko looked at them.
"What?" She asked.
"You just---Is she---" Duke stammered.
"She beat the shit out of her and she's fine," Sin finished.
"Exactly!" Ryoko quipped happily.
"How could she be fine if she was hit across the face with a chair?!" Mokuba demanded.
"When the aliens abducted her, they performed all kinds of weird stuff, so she has super strength. Not even getting hit by a tank can kill her," Kenyamon explained. Everyone stared.
"And how would you know this?" Bakura asked.
"Trust me, we've tried," Hoofamon replied.
"Actually, it was a rocket launcher last time, thanks to Kat," Shinmon added.
"Then she shot me with it when I started laughing," Hoofamon said glumly.
"Good thing you are immortal," Shinmon observed. Yugi looked at him.
"Can I ask you a question?" He asked. Shinmon nodded. "Why do you wear a beanie and a jacket when it's this hot out?" Yugi asked. Shinmon's cheeks burned and he looked down at his large feet.
"He's just shy about his appearance," Kenyamon quickly explained.
"Why's that?" Joey asked. Ryoko looked at Shinmon.
"No use hiding it, bud," she said gently. Shinmon, sighing, unwrapped the coat from around his waist, revealing his large, fluffy white tail. Next, he took off his socks, revealing his lavender cat paws. He hesitated a moment before taking the beanie off of his head, his lavender and white pierced ears flopped out to the side in shame. Everyone, as shocked as they were, stared at Téa and braced themselves. However, she did not scream this time.
"Aww, how cute!" She commented. Plague stood up, rubbing her face.
"I guess she's gotten used to all of the weird shit around here, already," she said to Kenyamon as she shot a death glare at her hikari.
"Wait 'til she gets to school," Kenyamon replied uneasily.
"I would rather appear more normal," Shinmon explained, glancing at Hoofamon and Sin. "Even though Ryoko and Plague are not embarrassed or ashamed with their appearances, I am with mine."
"Well, we're all different. The inside's what matters," Téa said hopefully. Shinmon smiled briefly and his ears perked up a little more.
"Besides, that's not the only reason he disguises himself," said Ryoko. Tristan looked at her.
"What's the other reason?" He asked.
"Kitt," Ryoko, Kenyamon, Plague, Hoofamon, Sin, and Shinmon said at the same time.
"Who's that?" asked Malik.
"One of my best friends. She's obsessed with cats," Ryoko explained.
"So he's afraid of her?" Mokuba asked.
"Not really afraid of HER, just the way she acts. You'll see why tomorrow," answered Kenyamon.
"Alright, just let me do all of the talking," Ryoko said as she turned the doorknob. The cool air from the air conditioning made everyone sigh in relief. Finally, a cool place out of this heat!
"Jeez, are you rich?" Duke asked, eyeing the large interior of the house. "I mean, I know that the outside's big, but this---" He looked at the fireplace in the living room and let out a long whistle.
"Nah, we're not rich. Starting from the doorframe over there by the bar and all the way back to the apartment and garage is a new addition that was built about two years ago," Hoofamon said as he closed the door.
"Mom, I'm back!" Ryoko called.
"Hi, honey! Did you get a lot done?" Everyone watched as a beautiful blonde woman in her forties walked out of the kitchen. Named Kim, she was the same height as Ryoko if not a bit shorter. Slim and tan, she wore faded blue jeans and a baggy black t-shirt. The toe rings on her bare feet hinted at her past "hippie chick" life. Her hair reached a little below her shoulders and her eyes were the same blue as her daughter's. If he did not know any better, Joey could have sworn that they were sisters---only that Ryoko was the one who inherit the weird gene.
"Yeah, 'tis all cleaned," Ryoko responded. Her mother skidded to a halt when she spotted the larger-than-normal group behind her daughter. She looked at Ryoko.
"You didn't tell me that you were having friends over," she said gently, though Ryoko knew that she was pretty annoyed.
"Yeah, can I keep them?" Ryoko asked. Kim let out a small laugh. Ryoko looked at Hoofamon.
"Show them around and I'll handle Mom," she whispered. Hoofamon nodded and Ryoko looked back at her mother. "Mom, I can explain." Kim raised an eyebrow.
"Everyone, cheese it!" Plague shouted in panic, grabbing Yugi by the leg and dragging him down the hall to Ryoko's room. She did NOT like the look on her mother's face!
"Well---um---make yourselves at home and help yourselves to the fridge!" Kim called as everyone followed Plague, attempting to rescue the helpless Yugi.
"Thank you, ma'am," Téa responded with a traditional Japanese bow before following the others. When they were out of earshot, Kim looked at Ryoko.
"Let's go to your room, sit down, and don't freak out while I explain," Ryoko said, grabbing her mother's hand and leading her to the master bedroom.
"It's gonna rain," Kenyamon said.
"Random, much?" Hoofamon asked. By now, the group was in Ryoko's room. Yugi had escaped Plague and was now sitting as far away from her as possible on the floor next to Muff's cage with Mokuba. Yami Yugi had decided to appear as well, extremely offended with the way Plague had dragged his hikari down the hallway and nearly took his head off with the door frame. Plague and Kenyamon were on the bed while Téa was sitting in a chair. Sin, as usual, was in the furthest and darkest corner of the room while everyone else were either scattered on the floor sitting down or standing up and leaning against the wall.
"But there's no rain clouds," Duke said.
"The cows are lying down," Shinmon replied.
"What's that got to do with rain?" Kaiba asked.
"Dammit, use common sense, ass wipe!" Plague growled.
"I have more than you do," he retorted.
"Hey, I have common sense, it's just that I choose to not use it," Plague snarled.
"It's country slang. When cows are lying down, it's gonna rain. It's just like mayonnaise," Kenyamon explained. Shinmon's ears perked up at the mentioning of his favorite food.
"Mayonnaise?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, as in, 'Mayonnaise a lot of people out there,'" Plague said. The new arrivals stared at her. "HOLY HELL, YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN!!!" She half-screamed.
"If someone shouts, 'Hoedown,' and your girlfriend hits the floor, you might be a redneck!" Kenyamon crowed. Everyone's gaze shifted to her as she continued. "If the most common phrase in your household is, 'Somebody go jiggle the handle,' you might be a redneck."
"Yep, that's a common phrase in this house thanks to Ryoko's brother," Hoofamon commented as his sister continued ranting.
"If you constantly have people knocking on your door because they mistook your front lawn for a yard sale, you might be a redneck. And could you just see the Olympics in Georgia? The Olympic rings will be five old tires nailed together because they burn a long time! And they'll be doing the high jump over a clothes line!" Kenyamon was soon joined by Plague.
"And you know they don't even realize it, but the river they're doing the kayaking on is the same river they filmed 'Deliverance' at. And if Ned Badie couldn't make it down that river, a Frenchman in a pair of bicycle shorts ain't got a chance," Plague added, snorting with laughter. Everyone stared at her and Kenyamon with blank expressions.
"Jeff Foxworthy," Sin sighed.
"Who's that?" Tristan asked. Kenyamon and Plague both fell off of the bed onto their faces.
"You've never heard of the great Jeff Foxworthy?" Kenyamon asked, close to tears as she looked up at everyone. Bakura sweatdropped, afraid that she was going to start crying.
"Sorry, you have to remember that we're not from around here," Joey apologized.
"He's only the greatest comedian ever," Ryoko said. Malik jumped from his spot on the floor next to the door when she spoke. The fox girl was leaning on the door frame, watching everyone.
"How'd it go?" Kenyamon asked.
"I'm not sure if she believes me, but she'll tolerate everyone as long as the boys sleep separate from the girls," Ryoko explained. "We've got two guestrooms and an apartment, so it's up to everyone who crashes where. But I think it would be better if the girls stayed in my room and in the guestroom across the hall and the guys could be in the downstairs guestroom and the apartment."
"Sounds good to me," agreed Tristan.
"And I suppose that Plague freaked you all out and you haven't seen the entire house, yet?" Asked Ryoko. Everyone nodded.
"Don't blame me, fox shit!" Plague yelled. Joey walked over to a closed door.
"What's this?" He asked Ryoko.
"My bathroom. You can open it if you want," she said. Hoofamon's face lost all color.
"What's in it?" Joey asked.
"Bathroom stuff, you spaz," Téa said as Joey turned the handle. Hoofamon let out a frightened squeak as the door opened.
"SHUT IT!!! SHUT IT!!!" He screamed."REEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWRRRRR!!!" A demonic screaming and hissing sound was heard. Joey screamed as a black, white, and yellow ball of fur leaped from atop the shower curtain rack towards his face. He quickly slammed the door shut. A loud thudding noise was heard on the other side of the door followed by ripping and crunching sounds. Joey leapt back with a frightened yell as claws began ripping through the wood.
"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!" He freaked as he fell onto Tristan.
"That's my kitten!" Ryoko said with a joyful note in her voice. Everyone stared at her with their mouths agape in disbelief.
"It's a demon, that's what it is!" Joey wheezed, clutching at a stitch in his chest.
"The Spawn of Satan," Hoofamon shuddered. Yami Yugi looked at him.
"No wonder you didn't want him to open the door," he said with a wry smile.
"Hi, Yami!" Ryoko said with a wave, noticing him for the first time. "Kitt's gonna love to see you!" Yami smiled nervously as loud hissing and spitting could be heard from the bathroom
"Let me guess... Eikichi?" Everyone turned as a black skinned girl with short red hair and green eyes stood in the doorway.
"Eikichi? Is that the name of that thing?" Duke asked. The girl nodded.
"Yeah. And my name's Zoe," she said. The girl was Plague's height and wore strapped high heels, a mini skirt, and blouse. She was all about fashion and attitude. She had a red purse hanging from her shoulder and some JC Penny bags in her hands. Half Egyptian and half African, her nails and lips were purple and she looked like a runway model.
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! ALL WE NEEDED WAS SOME DAMN MILK!!!" Plague shouted in fury. Everyone but Ryoko, Kenyamon, Sin, Kaiba, and Zoe shrank back in fear. Zoe, setting down her bags, put one hand on her hip.
"Don't sass me, bitch! I got the milk!" Zoe retorted. "Three jugs, to be exact! Besides, whose fault is it that we ran out?"
"There was sake involved!" Plague said, embarrassed and angry at the same time. "It's Sin's fault that he let me have a swig!"
"You stole my whole damn bottle..." Sin whispered dangerously.
"Who in their right mind would try to see if chickens could make chocolate milk?" Ryoko asked. "Plague, chickens don't work that way, cows do. Chickens make eggs, not milk. Fake udders don't help out, either. Chickens don't have those," Ryoko scolded. Even Kaiba seemed appalled by this news as he put the pieces together in his head.
"She's never been in her right mind," Hoofamon said. Plague put her hand on the bathroom doorknob. Hoofamon shut his mouth and backed away from her.
"That's better," Plague said, smirking and letting go of the door. Zoe suddenly noticed everyone in the room.
"What the fuck!?" She asked with shock.
"Long story short, they dropped in on us and we have to help them find a way back to their world," Hoofamon said, rubbing the back of his neck as he remembered everyone crushing him. Zoe, though a bit skeptical, nodded.
"Anyway, it appears that I was right about the JC Penny thing," Ryoko said, eyeing the bulging bags of clothes. Zoe's face lit up.
"Oh my God, I got the cutest shoes!" She squealed, rummaging around in one of her bags.
"Where's Wolf?" Kenyamon asked.
"Right here." A teen about Sin's height appeared behind Zoe, a large gray harpy eagle on his shoulder. Dressed in blue jeans with black chaps over them, he wore a black leather vest with a hood and a leather bracelet. Around his neck was a silver necklace of a disfigured eagle claw holding a round gem. Even Téa couldn't help but stare at his bare chest. His shaggy brown hair elegantly fell into his face and was tied back in a low ponytail. His right eye was almost completely covered by his long bangs. Therefore, everyone assumed that by looking at his other eye that the right one was the same earthy brown as well. However, he pushed his bangs out of his eyes, revealing that his right eye was actually NOT brown. What should have been the white of his eye was black, while what should have been brown like his other eye was yellow---like a wolf's eye. One look at his dark skin and one could easily tell that he was of Native American origin. The eagle on his shoulder, Merlin, had leather tied around one of his legs and a gold hoop pierced in one of his wings. The great bird of prey clicked his beak when he saw the newcomers, his crown of feathers standing on end. Wolf gently stroked the bird's chest and he relaxed.
"Did you have fun?" Shinmon asked. Wolf rolled his eyes, but smiled.
"Yeah, but remind me to go with someone who doesn't have to shop for three hours in a clothing store when all we needed to get was groceries," he said. He glanced at everyone. He made sure to give Sin a loathing glance before looking at Ryoko.
"To make a long story short"---Ryoko began, but Wolf held up a hand.
"I heard you tell Zoe, so there's no need," he said gently.
"Come on, you bitch," Zoe muttered as she tried to pull a box out of one of her bags. Mokuba looked at Kenyamon questioningly.
"Mokuba, whatever you hear, don't repeat it," Kenyamon said nervously. The young boy looked at Kaiba. His big brother glanced at Kenyamon, then Mokuba, and nodded. Ryoko walked over to her bathroom door.
"If you open that, so help me---" Joey began as he backed away. However, when Ryoko opened the door, there was no monster. Only a small mostly black calico kitten sat on the floor, her big green eyes staring up at her owner with adoration. She let out a small "meow" as Ryoko picked her up.
"Aww, she's so cute," Téa said as she petted the now harmless kitten on the head.
"You just wait 'til she bites off your fingers," Hoofamon said as Eikichi began purring. The kitten's gaze locked on his. "Please have mercy on me, oh merciless one," he whimpered.
"We have another cat named Wolverine. He's orange, fat, and drunk," Ryoko explained happily.
"Drunk?" Malik asked.
"Yeah, wait 'til you see him!" Ryoko chirped. "He opens his mouth to meow and nothing comes out. And he staggers around with his tongue hanging out, but he's perfectly healthy." Malik stared at her as if she was from another planet.
"Ha! I've got it!" Everyone looked at Zoe once more, who was now holding up a pair of hemp high heel sandals.
"Haven't you got enough damn shoes already?" Plague asked irritably.
"A woman can never have too many shoes," Zoe said.
"Until they take up an entire damn closet," Plague mumbled under her breath. Téa hid a smile as she tried to keep herself from laughing.
"Ryoko, I found the cutest shirt!" Zoe pulled out a belly shirt with an extremely low cut top and held it up.
"It's pink," Ryoko noted, flicking the tip of her tail as she handed a surprised Shinmon the psycho cat. As he held the kitten, Eikichi rubbed her head against his chest. Apparently, she liked him for obvious reasons.
"I know! I got this for you and something for Kenyamon!" She explained happily, tossing it to Ryoko. The shirt landed on Ryoko's face and she cringed. Something pink had touched her... Well, it was the thought that counted. She took the shirt off of her head and folded it.
"Um, thank you, Zoe. You didn't have to," she said, blushing.
"Nah, I wanted to," Zoe replied as she threw a pair of flair jeans with gold trim and a matching belt at Kenyamon.
"SHINY!!!" Kenyamon squealed as she stared at the gold belt. Ryoko looked at the pink shirt. Well, maybe something pink wouldn't be all that bad, but she'd definitely have to wear something under it. Zoe then tossed a Hot Topic bag at Plague, who caught it as it flew by her head. Ryoko put the shirt in her closet before turning around to face everyone.
"So, I'm guessing that you know who Wolf and Zoe are. The eagle's Merlin, by the way," she explained. "And I might as well take you all on a tour of the house since everything's settled down. You're more than welcome to take showers and eat and everything. I'll call the school here in a bit to let them know that you're coming and I'll say that you're exchange students, savvy?" Hesitantly, everyone nodded. Plague squealed as she pulled out a tight fitting Slipknot t-shirt and glomped Zoe. Ryoko, Hoofamon, Shinmon, Wolf, and Kenyamon stared.
"Oh my God," Wolf said in disbelief.
"It's the end of the world as we know it," Hoofamon said as Plague thanked Zoe.
"What's wrong?" Yami Yugi asked. Ryoko looked at him.
"They practically hate each other---Well, okay, Plague hates Sin more---but still, this is SO not normal," she replied. Duke snorted at the irony. Without warning, Eikichi randomly jumped from Shinmon's arms and latched onto Hoofamon's face. Screaming like a little girl, he ran from the room.
"GET IT OFF!!!" He screamed as he ran down the hall. Eikichi leapt off of him just before he ran headfirst into the wall. Everyone winced.
"I bet that's gonna leave a nasty mark," Joey said.
"Hoofamon!" Ryoko shouted as she ran to him and yanked him up by the shirt with surprising strength. "Are you okay?!" She asked. Hoofamon, his face covered in scratches that immediately began to rapidly heal, nodded shakily. Sin moodily left Ryoko's bedroom and sighed as he went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
"Tomorrow's going to be wild..."