Krad woke to the warm, comfortable sensation of someone close to him. Physically close, holding him, embracing him. Golden eyes blinked open and he was greeted by darkness. Not the darkness of night, the absence of light, but dark clothing and black wings that had folded over him like a blanket.
Dark?!
Panic surged through his mind.
No...
No!
Memories came back and he gasped, embarrassment, anger and denial warring for dominance. He had lost it. Completely. In front of Dark. He had... he had broken down.
Dimly he remembered someone catching him, holding him, soothing his frazzled nerves. He remembered clinging to that support, holding on and needing it.
Dark...?
Krad pushed away, out of the circle of strong arms, but he wasn't easily released. Fingers curled around one wrist and his head came up, eyes wild, frantic, meeting the calm, violet gaze of his counterpart.
"Don't," Dark only said.
Krad inhaled sharply, his emotions a mess, his shields non-existent. He looked around, trying to find out where he was, and found he was in the only place he and Dark could meet without taking over the host body.
The fingers around his wrist squeezed a little, then he was pulled to his other half. A hand cupped his face, holding him in place.
"Don't run."
He swallowed, tearing his eyes away.
"Don't," Dark insisted.
"Please let me go," he whispered.
"Where would you go to?" Dark asked, ignoring the plea. "You're safe here."
Krad tore free with all his strength and fell back, hunching over, holding the hand that still tingled from the contact.
"I can't go on like that," he moaned. "I can't."
Dark reached out and touched him again and Krad closed his eyes, shivering under the gentle contact. It had been so long. So very, very long. He had existed three hundred years without such closeness, such love, and now the dams were breaking. Coming back into this world, joined to his human host again, he was craving it more and more. Things had changed and he needed the closeness, but Satoshi denied it to him. In the past, he had at least had the occasional touch. It had been cruel, cold, ruthless and manipulative, but he had had it.
Now... his host had tried to kill himself.
"Krad," Dark murmured. "We can do this."
"No... I can't. Not any more. It hurts..."
Dark pulled him in close. "Together," he only said, resting his head against Krad's neck, willing him to relax.
The demon shuddered, then surrendered.
Dark?
He felt Daisuke's touch and turned to his host and partner, never letting go of Krad. Yes?
Daisuke was a quizzical presence in the back of his mind, not close enough to peek, but close enough to feel most of what was coursing through his kaitou partner.
What happened to him? Daisuke asked again.
Daisuke had a right to know. At least Dark believed so. They were all connected in a way. Still, it felt like telling a secret he wasn't supposed to reveal.
Tell me? Please?
He hesitated a little, then decided that the truth was the best option. This would need more than him. It needed Daisuke to convince Satoshi that Krad was no longer the hellish creature he remembered from his childhood.
Do you know how we came to be? Dark wanted to know.
Daisuke frowned. I know a little
The kaitou settled back, part of him entwined with his host, another soothingly wrapped around Krad.
About three hundred and twenty years ago a young artist by the name of Hikari was born. He had a great talent. His work of art was alive, he gave it soul. He lived for his work, he breathed life into it. Everyone admired his art, everyone wanted to have it. Like a young thief by the name of Niwa. He stole Hikari's art because he had fallen in love with it
Daisuke listened, intrigued.
But Niwa not only fell in love with the art, he also loved the artist. It was a love that could never be. Both men knew it, but their lives were drawn to each other, their souls calling out, and Hikari, in his love, did the only thing he could think of as an artist – he created a work of art for his lover
The Black Wings?
Yes. It was an expression from deep within his soul, it contained his soul and his love and the love of the thief. They gave it life
Daisuke swallowed. That… thing was created out of love? Uh, no offense, Dark, but.. it's ugly. I wouldn't exactly call it a symbol of love. At least of a sane person
Dark smiled sadly. It was different once. Before the sealing went wrong, before everything deteriorated… it was a beautiful piece of art. It looked like an angel, an image of the thief Hikari loved, with feathered wings. What was left of it were the ruins of a love that had never had a chance. That's what got trapped in the seal. Its life, we, were gone
Daisuke was stunned. I… understand
Well, the sealing went horribly wrong and the life inside was split apart, the soul energy and the love were divided. Krad and I were born. Before that accident, we were aware, Dai, but not sentient in that way. I remember little of the time inside the Black Wings, only that someone was there with me and it was a comfort to feel this other presence
Krad shifted a little and Dark smiled tenderly, caressing his other half.
It was him. He was aware of me as I was of him. After the separation, we were each alone. I was lucky. I ended up in one of your ancestors, the Niwa thief. Krad was joined with the artist who had created Black Wings
The lovers?
Yes. Niwa accepted me. He was surprised, he was scared, sure, but in the end he saw the potential. We had a fun time, actually. Dark grinned. He helped me get over the separation. I had someone else with me and I was accepted
And Krad wasn't?
In the beginning he was. Hikari was surprised and also delighted to carry the soul of his artwork. It was like an enlightenment for him and he cared for Krad. A lot. He actually adored him
Dark looked at the blond head resting against him, monitoring the other's sleep. Krad trusted him. It was a desperate trust since Dark was the only one who could give him any sense of security, who could calm the hurting demon, who kept him from total isolation.
But the next generation wasn't as happy. They barely tolerated him; it was Hikari's grandson. An artist himself he saw Krad as a hindrance. By the third host, the tolerance had made way for hatred. Krad was a curse. He woke to the fear of his hosts, their contempt, and their attempts to... get rid of him
Daisuke's eyes widened in understanding.
Problem is, it got worse, Dark added softly.
Worse? How?
Another sigh. The Hikari first tried to exorcise him. It was... agony
Dark closed his eyes as those memories came back and Krad moved restlessly. Agony was a too mild word for it. Krad had lived in constant pain, they had tried to slice him apart and remove him in pieces, but he had held on. Actually, he was bound to the Hikari blood line, so he couldn't be removed. They simply tore him to pieces and it took him long to gather his parts. They didn't understand that their fates were entwined until much later.
Gods...
Dark nodded silently. As you can see, it didn't work. So they put him into chains. He couldn't take over without the host letting him. Fighting against the chains would burn him down to his soul, but it would never kill him. He would suffer the consequences, recover as much as he could with no energy to feed upon to speed up the healing. We rely a lot on you, Daisuke. For living, for healing, for magic... It also didn't let him sleep between hosts
What?! But... what... how?
Dark smiled sadly. Every fourteen years old Niwa or Hikari inherited us. I stole the Hikari art for your family to seal and I was around until the Niwa I was joined to found his true love. Some sooner, some later. I was one with your family, I lived a comfortable life. I had fun. Krad... had no such purpose, no such cycles, no meaning except to exist as a chained curse, a demon in the eyes of his hosts. He could never sleep. It was like a semi-existence. He felt each year pass and he only came to real life when a fourteen year old son was around
That's horrible!
He nodded. It was pure torture. He was condemned to exist and to watch, and he knew that I wasn't. He couldn't use his hosts, couldn't pull magic from their bodies. They used him in turn as a tool. Dark tangled his fingers in the blond strands, smiling sadly. It damaged him
He could see the wounds. Now that Krad was without his shield, without his bluster and pretense, he saw it all. Instead of the powerful, hate-filled demon, Krad was a jaded entity that had struggled to survive. Dark rested a hand on a slender shoulder, felt the warmth but also the pain. The chains had left marks so deeply embedded, it would take time to soothe the hurts. The exorcisms had dug into his soul and even though it had been close to two hundred and fifty years, the wounds were barely scabbed.
Because they feared him, Daisuke murmured, watching Dark and his tender ministrations.
Yes. He was damaged almost beyond repair by the time Satoshi was born. He had gone without a host for a lot longer than me. The Hikari had two generations of female offspring. I slept throughout your mother's time, and Krad... well, he just was. Satoshi's stepfather knew of Krad. He couldn't use him because he wasn't a Hikari by blood, but he made a deal. He would give Krad what he wanted if Krad helped him in turn
He traded his son's body, Daisuke said levelly.
Yes. He removed Krad's chains, gave him freedom, and he handed over Satoshi like a sacrifice. Krad was too weak at first to make his moves, so Satoshi could fight him. Using the Lamenting Rutile his father tried to force the subject, tried to strengthen Krad, but Satoshi proved to be remarkably strong. I think his friendship with you gave him that strength. His wish to protect you
Daisuke looked at the figure next to his partner, the jaded, damaged entity that had been part of Dark once. He felt no jealousy at the tenderness and affection the kaitou showed. He understood what it meant.
I never knew all this, Dark murmured. I found out too late and it hurts, Dai. It hurts so much
It could have been you, Daisuke said softly.
Yes. I was so damn lucky. So very, very fortunate... to be with you
Daisuke hugged him close and Dark took some strength from it.
Three hundred years... he suffered so long. He was alone so long. We came to be together in the Black Wings again, he had me again, he had closeness, and now...
He's alone again, Daisuke finished.
Dark was Krad's anchor, his only hold left in this world. The reunion had been brief and a reminder of what had been and what would never be again. The peace he had found had been shattered again, forever removed. While apart, neither had known what they might miss. Now Krad knew it even more so.
Dark had Daisuke, a warm, living soul. Krad had only the hatred and fear. Satoshi refused contact, refused him...
He's alone, Dark repeated, playing with the long strand of hair that fell over the demon's face. And lost
He has you
Through me he knows what could be, Daisuke. He can feel your presence with me and it breaks him
Krad murmured softly, moving restlessly.
"Shhh..." Dark whispered. "You're safe here."
Daisuke watched, mesmerized. Dark was very gentle, infinitely so. He was radiating warmth and reassurance.
I can remember a little of what it was like to have him with me. Because of my hosts, I never missed it much, Dark murmured. He can't survive like this. I'm not enough because my life is bound to yours. I'm yours, Dai, and Krad is Satoshi's other half
And Sato fears him
It'll kill him in the end. He will continue to exist, but the damage together with the refusal will break him apart and shatter him
Golden eyes suddenly blinked open and Krad looked up at him, confused. Suddenly he became aware of his position, curled so close to his other half.
Dark smiled calmly. "Hey."
The demon pushed away, visibly disturbed by the need he still radiated. He bristled slightly, pulling his shields around him.
"Don't, Krad," Dark called, catching him. "Don't run. It's not the solution. We're one. I'm here for you."
Krad stopped, eyes wide. Daisuke, still watching, was stunned by the vulnerability, the sheer longing. He stayed in the back of Dark's perception, silently watching as Dark's wings folded around the blond demon again, protected him, how Krad fell forward and let his former enemy comfort him, and part of him cried in pain.
This was the demon who had nearly killed him so many times. He had strangled him, had attacked him by magic, had made him bleed, but all of that was pushed away as he looked at Krad, the white clothing in stark contrast with Dark's black ones, seeking comfort from his former enemy.
Dark...
Please talk to Satoshi, Dark murmured. Please!
I will. I promise
He pulled back, gently, but still the shift made Krad flinch and Dark murmured tenderly. He sent a silent thank you toward his host, then wrapped shield around both of them.
"Why are you doing this?" Krad whispered after a while, not looking at him.
"Because I want you to live."
He smiled humorlessly, darkly. "I won't kill myself, Dark. Don't worry. We can't die."
"But we can cease to be alive, Krad. You can still be inside your host, but you could lose yourself. I don't want that to happen."
Golden eyes turned to look at him with astonishment. Dark cupped his face and stroked over the smooth, unblemished skin.
"I want you to live, Krad."
The demon inhaled shakily. "Well, you're alone there."
"No." He grinned a little, not letting the other retreat, continuing the caress. "Definitely not."
Krad let his eyes wander over to where his own host resided and he looked reluctant.
"You don't have to go. You can stay here with me."
"Niwa..."
"Understands. You can always come to me. Whenever you need to."
"Thank you," was the sincere reply.
Dark smiled, happy.