AN: Last update on this one for a while. Hope this tides all the great readers over for a while. Thanks for all the awesome reviews and encouragement.
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"Man…" Seth started immediately.
"Shut up. I'm going to bed," Ryan said, tossing him the phone and pulling back the sheets on the bed.
"Dude, its like, eleven in the morning…"
"Take a nap. Just leave me alone…" He climbed into bed, fully clothed and pulled the sheets over his head.
If it had been anyone else, Seth would have laughed. But it was Ryan. Strong, supportive, hero Ryan that was hiding under the covers. Seth was worried. He was chilled to the bone. He wasn't getting through to him and if he couldn't get through to Ryan, then…no one could. He was supposed to be Ryan's best friend. But Ryan wasn't listening.
Seth sat down on the bed. He knew that he was walking on thin ice, that Ryan was likely to hit him if he didn't leave him alone, but he had to do something. Ryan had never hit him but it was a risk he'd have to take.
"Ryan…I don't know what's going through your mind right now. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you this summer. I was an ass. I'm just glad that Hailey was able to be your friend. I hope she helped you. But I'm back now. And I'm sorry. I just want my brother back. I don't care if you're drunk or angry or sad…I just want you to come home…"
There was no response.
"And Mom is so upset. She loves you, she loves Hailey and the idea was weird and incestuous at first, but now…"
"Stop it, Seth, I mean it. I want to sleep." Ryan grumbled.
Seth pulled the covers back but Ryan wouldn't look at him. He had his eyes closed.
"Why won't you come home?"
"Because I'm not ready yet!" Ryan snapped. "God!" He got out of bed and stormed out of the room. Seth was stunned. He didn't get up to follow him.
He just wanted Ryan to stop running and come home.
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Hailey had been sleeping in the guest room at her sister's house. After Seth had found her at home a couple of days earlier and forcefully, with his little spitfire girlfriend, dragged her over for dinner, she hadn't left. Kirsten seemed to realize just how lonely and out of place Hailey was in Newport. Since she wasn't partying anymore, she really didn't have any friends. She was lonely and so used to traveling the world independently, she didn't know how to depend on her family. Kirsten was trying to bond with her sister. Kirsten had been making an effort to understand how she could do something like this.
But Hailey kept finding herself in the poolhouse. She'd fallen asleep a couple of times, just enjoying the scent of Ryan on the sheets. Even after Rosa changed the sheets, she still could smell him. She knew she was crazy.
She was in love with a teenager. She was in love with a kid. But he wasn't a kid. Every time she'd looked into his eyes, she'd seen his age, his wisdom. She'd seen his pain. She didn't think he had ever been a kid. From the little information she'd gathered about his past, he'd never had the chance, he'd had to step up and be an adult as soon as he was old enough to take a hit. She hurt for him. She ached.
She didn't know how he felt about her. He'd barely looked at her when he'd left. He'd just walked away. And it hurt. She was moping around here, wanting him and needing him and worrying about him but he was just gone. And she didn't know how he felt.
She barely registered the phone ringing in the poolhouse. She picked it up absently and answered it. "Hello?"
"Who is this?"
"Hailey. Who is this?" She retorted.
"It's…what are you doing there?" And she recognized him. Ryan.
"Why are you calling your own house?" She asked.
"Because…no one answered in the main house and…"
"What?"
"I thought…how are you, Hailey?"
"How are you?"
"I'm…I'm drunk, actually…" He sounded so far away.
"Ryan, it's, like, noon. You are still in this time zone, right?"
"I'm in Portland."
"Oregon? Why the hell would you go there?"
"Because you're not here…" He whispered.
"Ryan…" She gasped, stricken.
"I'm sorry, Hailey. I fucked up. I have all these feelings for you and…and I can't. I just can't handle being there with you and not being able to…to be with you. I…I don't know what to do…now Seth's here and Kirsten and Sandy think I'm flipping out…" His voice was low and rapid. She'd never heard him talk that fast.
"Ryan…you are flipping out. Calm down…"
"I…"
"Where are you?"
"I'm smoking a cigarette."
"Where?"
"Outside this shitty little store. Luke doesn't let me smoke around him so I'd quit…"
"Honey…"
"Don't, Hailey…"
"It's just us and I'll call you whatever I want…" She said, tears coming to her eyes. He sounded wrong. Something was wrong.
"Hailey…"
"I want you to sit down, kid. Please. I don't care where you are…"
"I can't sit down at the payphone."
"Where's your cell phone?"
"I broke it…"
"Ryan..."
"I just needed…I don't know why I called…"
"I'm glad you called. I miss you."
"This…we have to…"
"Ryan, listen. You're strung out. You're upset. Have you slept at all? Have you gotten any rest?"
"I can't…I can't stop thinking about you…about what we did…Kirsten, she says it doesn't matter to her, but it'll never be the same…"
"What are you saying?"
"I don't think I can come back…"
"Ryan, you can't mean that…"
"I don't know what to do, what to believe…I'm so tired and…"
"This is your home, Ryan. You know that, right? Don't make me be the reason you leave…I don't deserve that…"
"You don't, that's not what…"
"You left because of me. All of this is my fault. Let me take the blame, let them hate me…don't go because of me…"
"Hailey…"
"Please. You're too stressed out to be making a decision like this. Slow down and think about this. Talk to me…you used to try and talk to me…"
"I…"
"I'll leave before I take your family from you…" She said quietly.
"Hailey…"
"You called me. Talk to me. Please."
"God…this is tearing me apart…I don't know what to do…"
"Do you trust me?"
"What?"
"Do you trust me, Ryan?"
"I…yeah. Yeah, I do."
"Come home. We'll figure everything out. Please."
"Figure everything out? God, Hailey…"
"Please. You said Seth is there, right?"
"He was when I left. He's an annoying little bastard…"
"Ah, he gave you the pep talk, didn't he?" Hailey smiled, thinking of her nephew and his cheering up techniques.
"God, he's…he came all this way for him and I just bitched at him…"
"Hey, he earned it after all the shit this summer. Why don't you go talk to him? He came for you. Come home. It's not as bad as you think. Kirsten and Sandy…they're great. They're pissed at me, but I've still been sleeping in their guest room. They need you here. Please. You were gone all summer and…I don't think you've really come home yet…"
"I don't…"
"I don't care, Ryan. Come home. Please. For me."
"For you?" He whispered.
"Yes. For me. Please. I need to see you. I need you to be here."
"Hailey…"
"Please."
"Okay," He whispered.
"Yes? Shit, that's great, baby! That's great, what airport are you close to?"
"I can't fly…"
"What? How the hell did you get to Portland?"
"Bus."
"Bus? You took a bus? Damn, kid, you really wanted to get away, didn't you?"
"What are we going to do, Hailey?"
"You are going to go back to your hotel and start sobering up. Tell Seth to make the arrangements for you to come home. Seriously. Are you listening?"
"I'm listening. I'll come home."
"Really."
"For you. I'll do it for you," He whispered. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't be sorry. I don't know what's going to happen, kid. But I know you belong here. Nothing's going to change that. God, you should know that by now."
"I'm sorry…"
"Ryan. Get some rest, honey. I'll see you when you get home."
"Thanks."
She didn't hang up, waiting for the dial tone.
"You know…you know that I care about you, right?" He whispered after a long pause.
"I know…I always knew…I care about you, too…"
"But we can't…"
"I know that, too. But it doesn't change the way I feel…"
"Yeah…okay. Bye."
He hung up. She put the phone down.
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