"Sato?"
He looked up and blinked a little, detaching himself from the world he shared with Krad to smile at his lover.
"You okay?" Daisuke asked.
"Yes. It's... just..."
"Amazing?"
He nodded. "And somewhat disturbing. I never thought it could be like this..."
Daisuke settled down beside him, smiling. "How is he?"
"Still weak and confused. About his emotions, about me, about everything. I never thought about what his past might have been, Dai. I never believed him to be anything like Dark..." He sighed. "Needs some time getting used to; probably a lot of time."
Daisuke pulled him close, kissing him, and the other man replied in kind.
"But we have that time," Niwa murmured when they finally parted.
Satoshi nodded. Deep inside he wanted this, wanted to get to know Krad, wanted to start again.
The next few days Satoshi tried to pass off as normally as possible.
Krad was in the back of his mind, warmer and more solid than before, but
he didn't really touch him unless Satoshi initiated it. Daisuke gave him
encouraging smiles, tried to help, but Satoshi knew it was his fight alone.
He and Krad had to work this out and it was slowly getting somewhere.
--You don't have to stay in the back-- Satoshi told him as he
sat at his laptop, working.
Krad shifted a little.
--It can't be comfortable--
Satoshi wondered how Daisuke was doing it. Then again, his lover was
used to gentleness, to the other presence in his mind while Satoshi himself
had almost always felt oppressed, in pain, or had fought back. There
had been few occasions when the gentleness had been true, when the possessiveness
had not hurt.
He stopped his typing, leaned back against the chair and gazed sightlessly
at the computer screen. His attention was inward. Finally Satoshi
held out one hand in an invitation.
Krad blinked, wings whispering softly as they twitched. Satoshi
remained where he was, blue eyes fixed on golden ones, silent, the wordless
gesture saying it all. Krad came slowly closer, like a nervous animal.
Satoshi thought he saw the scars of the exorcisms burn brightly on the
slender form, the open wounds still existing from the chains that had bound
what his ancestors had called a monster. He had believed the same. He had
once thought that such a creature should have been killed at birth.
He had been so wrong.
Those chains still exist, Satoshi thought. Inside Krad's mind.
Freedom was a foreign word for him. It had always been conditional.
Even when he had been with Satoshi. Satoshi's stepfather had bound him
to himself with promises and sweet words.
Freedom.
Neither of them would ever be free. They were bound together but it
could be a partnership, not slavery.
--It can start now-- he murmured, holding the startled eyes.
--Satoshi...?--
He grasped one slender wrist and Krad's eyes widened. Wings rustled,
opening slightly.
--We can try. I'm willing to--
The demon inhaled sharply. --You... are...?--
Satoshi nodded. --Yes--
The wings twitched and he smiled, closing the last distance between
them. The last time he had been this close to Krad, he had to still look
up into the handsome face with its ethereal eyes. He had seen love there,
a love twisted and jaded until no one but Krad could call it that. He had
felt the other's touch, the wings curling around his body, wanting him
close and yet unable to truly comprehend what that meant.
--Are you?-- Satoshi asked.
Another twitch, then Krad's free hand came up and oh so carefully cupped
Satoshi's face in a gesture of affection.
--Yes, Satoshi, I am. I care for you--
There was nothing malicious in the tone now, no sultry promises, no
cold touch, no lies.
For the first time, Hikari Satoshi believed him.
--Hello-- he said softly. --My name is Hikari Satoshi. I'm
your host. I'd like to be your partner and your friend--
Golden eyes looked at him, warm and accepting. --Hello, Satoshi.
My name is Krad. I'd like to be your partner and friend--
Satoshi felt the softness of the feathers underneath his hands as the
wings closed around him, encasing him in a gentle embrace. It wasn't confinement,
only protection. He breathed deeply, letting himself fall, and he was caught
in strong arms and a strange kind of warmth. It wasn't the warmth he felt
when he was with his lover. It was different, but not harsh or cold.
It didn't hurt.
It was... nice.
Krad sought the warmth of Satoshi's mind and soul, and Hikari, surprising
himself, let him. He recalled seeing Dark, cradling his other half, the
need of Krad to be close to a living, breathing soul.
He was that soul. He alone.
I won't hurt you, Satoshi thought.
It was echoed in Krad's emotions and he found himself smiling.