Disclaimer- I am so not doing this again. Well at this point in time I
still do not have Internet access but I felt like writing anyway. Oh and I
think I've discovered why everyone is so confused. In the first chapter
Lily has a flashback and is still currently in her flashback. I will tell
you when she comes back to the 'present'. Thanks to all who reviewed and
anyone who actually reads my story should read SpangleDaCanary's story
because it's about ten times better then mine. There will be L/J in this
chapter. And hopefully Arnold will suffer. No promises though.
She continued to look up at Dumbledore with blank unseeing eyes. Knowing that she would be unable to respond he muttered a nifty little charm that automatically packed everything that she would need. In that way it was actually better then manual packing as it was impossible to forget anything.
"Lily I believe that it is time for us to go." He gently took her arm and helped her up from her position on the ground. Unable to say anything she simply nodded her head.
"My stuff?" she questioned in a dull kind of way, which showed she didn't really care. "It's already been packed and placed in the room in which you will be staying." She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes, as she hadn't really paid any attention to what he had been saying.
"Which is where?" He sighed knowing that she would be upset because she would know that there was no way she would possibly be able to kill herself if she stayed with him. "At my house." And sure enough understanding flickered through her eyes before they became dull and glassy. Again she nodded her head before she simply looked at the ground and refused to meet his eyes again. Sighing for the second time he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand and a bright, blue scarf with neon yellow broomsticks.
"Portugus" he stated loudly and clearly. "Here Lily. I need you to grab hold of a part of this scarf. She did so and suddenly they were jerked foreword and for a split second darkness ensued.
Opening her eyes she glanced up and for the first time got a look at Dumbledore's house. (Has anyone ever described where Dumbledore lives? I've never read a story that did.) Quite frankly she was shocked. She had never imagined Dumbledore's house before but if she had it would not have been like this. It was a simple two-story house with a perfectly symmetrical yard. A gravel path went strait through the center of the bright green, perfectly cut grass. The path lead up to a small brick porch with a black rail surrounding it. The house had a new looking brick front with two wide windows on each floor. Simple yet elegant described the house and if she had thought about it she would have thought that it suited Dumbledore. He looked simple yet when you looked closer at him and got to know the real man you saw that he had a hidden power, which you always wanted on your side. The only thing that really surprised her was the lawn. She would have guessed that there would be more plants and it would be less rigid and orderly.
"Come this way Lily." His voice still remained soft and concerned as if he were talking to a frightened creature. He led her up the gravel path and through the mahogany door. The inside of the house seemed much like Dumbledore's office for what little of it she could see. He continued to walk leading her to what appeared to be a guest bedroom. Perched on top of the dresser was her snowy white owl. During her first year she had named the owl Prongs because of its sharp claws. When she had realized that James had adopted it as his nickname she had tried to change it but the owl refused to be called anything else even going to the point of biting her every time she tried. So to her frustration her owl remained Prongs.
The room, like almost everything else, was simple. There was a double bed in one of the corners, a closet, a desk and a dresser. The walls were a light tan color and the carpet was beige. Almost overlooked in the far corner of the room was a chocolate brown chair. Lily hesitatingly walked into the room and sank onto the bed. Drawing her legs into her chest she began to cry uncontrollably. Dumbledore watched helplessly until he decided that there was nothing for him to do and he left.
Once outside he took a deep breath and tried to remain rational. In his mind there was no greater atrocity then what had been done to her. Mentally, emotionally and physically this child had been abused and he knew that she was beginning to realize what he had always told people. Death is not the worse fate a man or woman can suffer. If she thought the only way to end her suffering was suicide then he knew her recovery would be hard, almost impossible. In his moment of calm he placed several spells on the door which would warn him if she tried to run away or harm herself.
Lily awoke the next morning slightly confused. The night before she had not gotten a good look at the room and therefore when she woke she had been a bit perplexed about her whereabouts. She stood suddenly in a rage as she recalled the events of the night before. "He had no right to stop me! I'm not his responsibility and besides it's not a school year yet." She muttered and raged the about the professor until her anger burned out and she merely wondered what would happen next even though she didn't really give a damn about what would happen next.
Author's Note: The flashback thing is over even though I'll come back to it later so you will know about her therapy. But until then all you need to know is that by the time the school year comes Lily is mostly ready to go back and of course she and James are the head students. To spite James after his constant hate of Malfoy she goes out with him. And now onto the story, where we find Lily in the bathroom once again ready to kill herself. Yes I know she does this way to often and hopefully she'll stop soon.
James' POV:
Humming to myself I climbed the stairs to get to the heads room. Lily had been made head girl and I had been made head boy, we shared a suite and a bathroom. Life was going great except for the slight Malfoy problem. I knew he wouldn't dare try anything or hurt her though. He knew I liked her and he also knew that if he so much as laid a hand on her I would personally kick the living shit out of him. For some reason though I couldn't quite place why the situation made me uneasy, it just did. Shrugging it off I said the password to Pegasus, the guardian of the heads room, and walked inside.
Still humming to myself I walked into my room and laid down on my bed thinking of ways to kill Malfoy and how to get Lily into my arms. Suddenly I stiffened and strained with my ears to figure out what I was hearing. It sounded like crying. I grabbed my wand and stood. I pinpointed the sound to the bathroom and gingerly walked into the head common room and then turned left to find myself face to face with the bathroom door.
I tried the door but it was locked. I knocked but there was no response. "Lily? Are you in there?" Still there was no answer so I used the Alohomora spell and the lock clicked. Silently I opened the door and slipped inside. My eyes darted around the room and I soon found her lying near the shower wrapped in a towl, crying with a razor on the ground by her wrist.
"Oh shit" I whispered. I knew what that meant as one of my previous girlfriends had been suicidal and a razor was her preferred method. I practically ran to her side. Reaching her I knelt on the floor. Startled she flinched and looked up at me with tear stained eyes. My heart practically broke at the sight of her. I pushed a piece of hair gently out of her eyes and wished there was a way that I could just take all of the pain she was feeling and just bare it myself.
I reached down and grabbed her wrists, one at a time, and checked them out. They were perfectly fine. I could however see that they had been cut before. I exhaled the breath I had been holding and realized that I had never felt so relieved in my life. "What's wrong? What happened?" I asked desperate to find a way to help her.
"Malfoy." She whispered weakly. I suddenly knew what had happened. Anger filled my veins and I felt rage on such a magnitude that I knew I had no right to feel it on such a level. "That bastard." I whispered vehemently. "I'm going to kill him." I took her in my arms and to my surprise she didn't pull away.
"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him." I raged. I tightened my hold on her and gently kissed the top of her head. I was clue less as of what to do next. A thought came to my head, "Lily I'll be right back. Okay?" She glanced up at my face and somehow I could tell that she didn't want me to go. "I'll come back as soon as I can." Slowly I unwrapped my arms from around her lithe frame and stood. Quickly I walked from the room and into mine. I raced to the side of my bed and found my school bag. I practically tore it apart until I found what I was looking for.
Gripping the mirror with my hands I practically shouted Sirius's name into it. Suddenly his face came into view and he seemed irritated. "You know I was trying to sleep and suddenly I hear your voice shouting in my ear. What a great way to wake up." I was in a foul mood and I could not deal with anyone right now. "Well guess what? I don't give a damn that you were trying to sleep. Malfoy just." The words caught in my throat and I couldn't finish. My hands squeezed the mirror tightly in an effort to calm my anger that was not interested in being calmed.
"Lily was." again I couldn't finish my sentence. Sirius's face lit up in understanding and he swore. "Holy shit James. I'll get Remus and we'll be up there in a few minutes." I nodded and Sirius disappeared. Dropping the mirror I sprinted back towards the bathroom and Lily. She was still in the same spot and did not appear to have moved. "Remus and Sirius are coming. You might want to get dressed." I suggested gently.
She nodded but still did not move. I picked her up and carried her into her room and placed her gently on the bed. "Thank you." She whispered. "I'll be right out." I nodded and left. A few minutes later Lily walked into the common room dressed in pajamas and to my surprise she slid gently into my arms. She buried her face into my chest and began to cry. I still didn't know what to do but I wasn't about to leave her alone. There was no way in hell.
Lily's POV:
I shivered in his arms and I felt him hold me tighter. For some reason it just felt so right to be this way with James. Despite my recent ordeal I felt remarkably calmer just by having him near me. Even for that brief instant that he had left I had felt so cold and alone. The portrait opened and I jumped startled, my heart hammering like mad. My second best friend Remus walked in closely followed by Sirius.
"Sirius told me what happened. Are you okay Lily?" his voice was calm yet layered with worry. His long muscular legs crossed the room quickly and his brown eyes reflected his every emotion. Strong quiditch arms encircled me, much to James annoyance.
Sirius's chocolate brown eyes sparkled with a murderous desire and his strong beater hands clenched into fists. His black hair fell into his face but there was no mistaking that look. I almost felt bad for Malfoy. Oh hold on, wait, no I didn't. I felt touched that even though Sirius and I were barely friends he was still upset that I had been hurt. Of course he also had probably just been looking for an excuse to get pissed off at Malfoy.
The portrait opened and again my hold body tensed. Remus and Sirius turned with their wands raised and James stood up and placed himself between the portrait and I. Peter and Jessica stumbled through the hole. "Oh Lily. Peter told me what had happened because I had asked what was up with the marauders and he said." She paused and took a deep breath. "So I made him tell me where you where but he wouldn't so I followed and slipped in. Oh Lily. Poor poor Lily." Tears flooded her eyes as she pulled me into a large bear hug.
James POV ("I'm sorry I was getting annoyed with Lily's POV)
I watched Jessica practically smother Lily with her hug and then turned to Peter. He flinched. "Let me get this strait you would tell her what had happened but not where Lily was? Peter listen to me just for a second. If you tell a woman something about her friend, her best friend, and its about them getting hurt don't ever expect them not to find a way to get to them. And why the hell did you not tell her where her best friend is? What did you think she was going to go tell Malfoy the password or something." I was pissed off and since I couldn't get to the one I was pissed at Peter was going to have to do.
"Please tell me what was going through your head at that moment." "I-I thought t-that you would want to be alone with Lily." He stammered. "Um let me see. Having you, Remus, and Sirius here is not exactly being alone now is it? And do really think that I would hit on Lily after what happened. Please tell me your not that thick. Or are you?" I shook my head in disgust and turned back to Lily. I felt my face soften and at that moment I realized that I had never truly known what an angel looked like until then.
"James just because your mad at Malfoy doesn't mean you should take it out on Wormtail. We do not turn on each other." Remus cautioned. I just shrugged. "Remus is right you know." I heard her soft voice whisper. I sighed knowing that she was right. I ran my fingers through my hair. "Look. I'm sorry Wormtail it's just I feel so helpless and I know I shouldn't take it out on you I'm just pissed right now."
(Yes I know I should be mean to Wormtail it's just that if I make them too mean then it will kinda make them seem like a Malfoy or something and then Wormtail kinda would have more justification to turn them in and we wouldn't want that now would we? And besides Sirius once said, "Then you should have died as we would have done for you." Or something like that.)
"So you listen to Lily but completely ignore what your best friend has to say?" he asked in a mocking tone. "Yep that sounds about right." I agreed. A shadow of a smile appeared across my face. He smiled back at me and pushed his sandy brown hair out of his face. "You know all three of you have hair issues." Lily stated. "Now Lils is that the way you talk to your bestest best friend." Sirius pouted giving her his best puppy dog eyes. "Last time I checked you don't have long hair, hold on I meant you don't have hair that goes past your shoulders nor are you 5'5, you also don't have brown hair and blue eyes. Lastly, you are not a female that goes by the name of Jessica. And I think you weigh more then 125 pounds." Sirius laughed as Jessica shrieked,
"Lily! They did not need to know that." Lily just laughed slightly and to me that sound was literally music. But I also knew that her laughing only meant that she was blocking what had happened.
A half-hour later Lily and Jessica had fallen asleep from exhaustion. "All right so what are we going to do?" I glanced up from staring at Lily and spoke, "We need to tell Dumbledore." Sirius glanced up in surprise and for once Remus looked dumbfounded but I could tell he agreed with me. "We need to do what?" I could tell I was in for a fight. "You heard me. I said we have to tell Dumbledore." I was really not in the mood for this. "That's what I thought you said. What happened to we deal with our own and leave the damn school administration out of it?" he was rightly suspicious of officials having once tried to tell the police that his family abused him and they simply ignored him after they told his parents of his allegations. He still has scars from what they did to him after he got home.
"What happened is that Lily got involved. She is not part of the marauders therefore we cannot treat her as such-" "Oh so she's suddenly better then us?" I glared at him. "I did not say that Sirius and you will never hear me say that. All I'm saying is that we have to treat this differently." Sirius opened his mouth for an angry retort but Remus cut him off saying "He's right Sirius. Were more or less used to attacks, Lily's not. And besides we have never had an attack on this level. She was raped for crying out loud Sirius." Sirius seemed to be having an internal debate with himself and finally said, albeit reluctantly, " Fine but we tell Dumbledore only." I nodded in agreement.
Peter who had stayed mostly out of this conversation before now asked "What about Lily? Why aren't we asking her opinion?" "Because Peter she probably wouldn't want to tell anyone and then Malfoy wont get what he deserves." He nodded in understanding. "When do we go to talk to him?" Remus wondered. "Tomorrow. I would go tonight but I don't want to leave Lily."
"What I want to know," Sirius said speaking for the first time in several minutes, "Is why she went out with that jackass in the first place." "I don't know." I shrugged " He might have coerced her I don't know."
"He didn't coerce me James. I went out with him of my own free will." She spoke so quietly I almost missed what she said. I walked over to her side, knelt beside her and said; "It doesn't matter now Lily. Don't worry about it." She struggled to sit up and protested, "But it does James. It does matter." I dearly loved the way she spoke my name. James not Potter. Life was good. I decided I should probably focus on what she was saying rather then how she said my name.
Tuning back in I heard her say, "I did it. I did it to spite you. I thought it had only been a prank when you said that you liked me. I thought as soon as I said yes to you, you would laugh in my face. So in order to show you that you can't manipulate people I went out with the one you hated most. And I also did it because part of me thought that you wouldn't laugh in my face you would just use me and then discard me like you did the rest of the female population you've dated. And then another even smaller part of me thought that you actually did like me like you said but I didn't want to like you because I had still thought of you as arrogant and self- centered. So in order to try and get over you I went out with Malfoy because he hated you and I had hoped that some of it would rub off on me." She spoke quickly and quietly as if hoping that I wouldn't hear.
"I'm sorry James. I-I didn't know you then like I know you now. You've changed. Your not arrogant or self centered anymore and you've proved that you actually care about me. I'm so sorry James I shouldn't have done it and I know that this is my fault. I actually do care about you and I'm deeply sorry for what I did."
"Now Mrs. Evans you really need to stop taking responsibility for others actions. Nothing excuses Mr. Malfoy for what he has done this night." So many people jumped that it looked as if they were on a trampoline. I looked at him in shock wondering how he knew and why he had chosen this time to come. Now I had to wait to tell Lily that I wasn't angry with her I was actually elated that she had feelings for me. Scowling I listened to Lily talk to the professor and what I heard froze my blood.
"How did you know to come?" she whispered as if dreading the answer. "After the summer incident I placed spells on you that would detect and then inform me if you were going to try suicide." He spoke just as quietly and seemed to be trying to block us from the conversation. "You did what?" her whole demeanor seemed defeated and I wanted so much to hug her and tell her that it would be okay.
Right, see now I have no idea what to do. Writer's block I really hate it. Ah well it should be gone soon. Until then or if you have any ideas REVIEW!!!! And you know what I decided to update this today even though I'll probably get in trouble.
Thank you to: Pottersprincess: I'm glad you like my story!!! Yeah!!! Bluechica: Yes I think Dumbledore should always come to the rescue since he always seems to know how to fix things. And of course to SpangleDaCanary: Her story's rock!!! And if you hadn't read it then you should go read it right now. It's called Sirius and the Reflection of life. Yes I know I like to make everything dramatic. Sigh it's my curse. Please, please review I will love you forever if you do.
She continued to look up at Dumbledore with blank unseeing eyes. Knowing that she would be unable to respond he muttered a nifty little charm that automatically packed everything that she would need. In that way it was actually better then manual packing as it was impossible to forget anything.
"Lily I believe that it is time for us to go." He gently took her arm and helped her up from her position on the ground. Unable to say anything she simply nodded her head.
"My stuff?" she questioned in a dull kind of way, which showed she didn't really care. "It's already been packed and placed in the room in which you will be staying." She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes, as she hadn't really paid any attention to what he had been saying.
"Which is where?" He sighed knowing that she would be upset because she would know that there was no way she would possibly be able to kill herself if she stayed with him. "At my house." And sure enough understanding flickered through her eyes before they became dull and glassy. Again she nodded her head before she simply looked at the ground and refused to meet his eyes again. Sighing for the second time he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand and a bright, blue scarf with neon yellow broomsticks.
"Portugus" he stated loudly and clearly. "Here Lily. I need you to grab hold of a part of this scarf. She did so and suddenly they were jerked foreword and for a split second darkness ensued.
Opening her eyes she glanced up and for the first time got a look at Dumbledore's house. (Has anyone ever described where Dumbledore lives? I've never read a story that did.) Quite frankly she was shocked. She had never imagined Dumbledore's house before but if she had it would not have been like this. It was a simple two-story house with a perfectly symmetrical yard. A gravel path went strait through the center of the bright green, perfectly cut grass. The path lead up to a small brick porch with a black rail surrounding it. The house had a new looking brick front with two wide windows on each floor. Simple yet elegant described the house and if she had thought about it she would have thought that it suited Dumbledore. He looked simple yet when you looked closer at him and got to know the real man you saw that he had a hidden power, which you always wanted on your side. The only thing that really surprised her was the lawn. She would have guessed that there would be more plants and it would be less rigid and orderly.
"Come this way Lily." His voice still remained soft and concerned as if he were talking to a frightened creature. He led her up the gravel path and through the mahogany door. The inside of the house seemed much like Dumbledore's office for what little of it she could see. He continued to walk leading her to what appeared to be a guest bedroom. Perched on top of the dresser was her snowy white owl. During her first year she had named the owl Prongs because of its sharp claws. When she had realized that James had adopted it as his nickname she had tried to change it but the owl refused to be called anything else even going to the point of biting her every time she tried. So to her frustration her owl remained Prongs.
The room, like almost everything else, was simple. There was a double bed in one of the corners, a closet, a desk and a dresser. The walls were a light tan color and the carpet was beige. Almost overlooked in the far corner of the room was a chocolate brown chair. Lily hesitatingly walked into the room and sank onto the bed. Drawing her legs into her chest she began to cry uncontrollably. Dumbledore watched helplessly until he decided that there was nothing for him to do and he left.
Once outside he took a deep breath and tried to remain rational. In his mind there was no greater atrocity then what had been done to her. Mentally, emotionally and physically this child had been abused and he knew that she was beginning to realize what he had always told people. Death is not the worse fate a man or woman can suffer. If she thought the only way to end her suffering was suicide then he knew her recovery would be hard, almost impossible. In his moment of calm he placed several spells on the door which would warn him if she tried to run away or harm herself.
Lily awoke the next morning slightly confused. The night before she had not gotten a good look at the room and therefore when she woke she had been a bit perplexed about her whereabouts. She stood suddenly in a rage as she recalled the events of the night before. "He had no right to stop me! I'm not his responsibility and besides it's not a school year yet." She muttered and raged the about the professor until her anger burned out and she merely wondered what would happen next even though she didn't really give a damn about what would happen next.
Author's Note: The flashback thing is over even though I'll come back to it later so you will know about her therapy. But until then all you need to know is that by the time the school year comes Lily is mostly ready to go back and of course she and James are the head students. To spite James after his constant hate of Malfoy she goes out with him. And now onto the story, where we find Lily in the bathroom once again ready to kill herself. Yes I know she does this way to often and hopefully she'll stop soon.
James' POV:
Humming to myself I climbed the stairs to get to the heads room. Lily had been made head girl and I had been made head boy, we shared a suite and a bathroom. Life was going great except for the slight Malfoy problem. I knew he wouldn't dare try anything or hurt her though. He knew I liked her and he also knew that if he so much as laid a hand on her I would personally kick the living shit out of him. For some reason though I couldn't quite place why the situation made me uneasy, it just did. Shrugging it off I said the password to Pegasus, the guardian of the heads room, and walked inside.
Still humming to myself I walked into my room and laid down on my bed thinking of ways to kill Malfoy and how to get Lily into my arms. Suddenly I stiffened and strained with my ears to figure out what I was hearing. It sounded like crying. I grabbed my wand and stood. I pinpointed the sound to the bathroom and gingerly walked into the head common room and then turned left to find myself face to face with the bathroom door.
I tried the door but it was locked. I knocked but there was no response. "Lily? Are you in there?" Still there was no answer so I used the Alohomora spell and the lock clicked. Silently I opened the door and slipped inside. My eyes darted around the room and I soon found her lying near the shower wrapped in a towl, crying with a razor on the ground by her wrist.
"Oh shit" I whispered. I knew what that meant as one of my previous girlfriends had been suicidal and a razor was her preferred method. I practically ran to her side. Reaching her I knelt on the floor. Startled she flinched and looked up at me with tear stained eyes. My heart practically broke at the sight of her. I pushed a piece of hair gently out of her eyes and wished there was a way that I could just take all of the pain she was feeling and just bare it myself.
I reached down and grabbed her wrists, one at a time, and checked them out. They were perfectly fine. I could however see that they had been cut before. I exhaled the breath I had been holding and realized that I had never felt so relieved in my life. "What's wrong? What happened?" I asked desperate to find a way to help her.
"Malfoy." She whispered weakly. I suddenly knew what had happened. Anger filled my veins and I felt rage on such a magnitude that I knew I had no right to feel it on such a level. "That bastard." I whispered vehemently. "I'm going to kill him." I took her in my arms and to my surprise she didn't pull away.
"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him." I raged. I tightened my hold on her and gently kissed the top of her head. I was clue less as of what to do next. A thought came to my head, "Lily I'll be right back. Okay?" She glanced up at my face and somehow I could tell that she didn't want me to go. "I'll come back as soon as I can." Slowly I unwrapped my arms from around her lithe frame and stood. Quickly I walked from the room and into mine. I raced to the side of my bed and found my school bag. I practically tore it apart until I found what I was looking for.
Gripping the mirror with my hands I practically shouted Sirius's name into it. Suddenly his face came into view and he seemed irritated. "You know I was trying to sleep and suddenly I hear your voice shouting in my ear. What a great way to wake up." I was in a foul mood and I could not deal with anyone right now. "Well guess what? I don't give a damn that you were trying to sleep. Malfoy just." The words caught in my throat and I couldn't finish. My hands squeezed the mirror tightly in an effort to calm my anger that was not interested in being calmed.
"Lily was." again I couldn't finish my sentence. Sirius's face lit up in understanding and he swore. "Holy shit James. I'll get Remus and we'll be up there in a few minutes." I nodded and Sirius disappeared. Dropping the mirror I sprinted back towards the bathroom and Lily. She was still in the same spot and did not appear to have moved. "Remus and Sirius are coming. You might want to get dressed." I suggested gently.
She nodded but still did not move. I picked her up and carried her into her room and placed her gently on the bed. "Thank you." She whispered. "I'll be right out." I nodded and left. A few minutes later Lily walked into the common room dressed in pajamas and to my surprise she slid gently into my arms. She buried her face into my chest and began to cry. I still didn't know what to do but I wasn't about to leave her alone. There was no way in hell.
Lily's POV:
I shivered in his arms and I felt him hold me tighter. For some reason it just felt so right to be this way with James. Despite my recent ordeal I felt remarkably calmer just by having him near me. Even for that brief instant that he had left I had felt so cold and alone. The portrait opened and I jumped startled, my heart hammering like mad. My second best friend Remus walked in closely followed by Sirius.
"Sirius told me what happened. Are you okay Lily?" his voice was calm yet layered with worry. His long muscular legs crossed the room quickly and his brown eyes reflected his every emotion. Strong quiditch arms encircled me, much to James annoyance.
Sirius's chocolate brown eyes sparkled with a murderous desire and his strong beater hands clenched into fists. His black hair fell into his face but there was no mistaking that look. I almost felt bad for Malfoy. Oh hold on, wait, no I didn't. I felt touched that even though Sirius and I were barely friends he was still upset that I had been hurt. Of course he also had probably just been looking for an excuse to get pissed off at Malfoy.
The portrait opened and again my hold body tensed. Remus and Sirius turned with their wands raised and James stood up and placed himself between the portrait and I. Peter and Jessica stumbled through the hole. "Oh Lily. Peter told me what had happened because I had asked what was up with the marauders and he said." She paused and took a deep breath. "So I made him tell me where you where but he wouldn't so I followed and slipped in. Oh Lily. Poor poor Lily." Tears flooded her eyes as she pulled me into a large bear hug.
James POV ("I'm sorry I was getting annoyed with Lily's POV)
I watched Jessica practically smother Lily with her hug and then turned to Peter. He flinched. "Let me get this strait you would tell her what had happened but not where Lily was? Peter listen to me just for a second. If you tell a woman something about her friend, her best friend, and its about them getting hurt don't ever expect them not to find a way to get to them. And why the hell did you not tell her where her best friend is? What did you think she was going to go tell Malfoy the password or something." I was pissed off and since I couldn't get to the one I was pissed at Peter was going to have to do.
"Please tell me what was going through your head at that moment." "I-I thought t-that you would want to be alone with Lily." He stammered. "Um let me see. Having you, Remus, and Sirius here is not exactly being alone now is it? And do really think that I would hit on Lily after what happened. Please tell me your not that thick. Or are you?" I shook my head in disgust and turned back to Lily. I felt my face soften and at that moment I realized that I had never truly known what an angel looked like until then.
"James just because your mad at Malfoy doesn't mean you should take it out on Wormtail. We do not turn on each other." Remus cautioned. I just shrugged. "Remus is right you know." I heard her soft voice whisper. I sighed knowing that she was right. I ran my fingers through my hair. "Look. I'm sorry Wormtail it's just I feel so helpless and I know I shouldn't take it out on you I'm just pissed right now."
(Yes I know I should be mean to Wormtail it's just that if I make them too mean then it will kinda make them seem like a Malfoy or something and then Wormtail kinda would have more justification to turn them in and we wouldn't want that now would we? And besides Sirius once said, "Then you should have died as we would have done for you." Or something like that.)
"So you listen to Lily but completely ignore what your best friend has to say?" he asked in a mocking tone. "Yep that sounds about right." I agreed. A shadow of a smile appeared across my face. He smiled back at me and pushed his sandy brown hair out of his face. "You know all three of you have hair issues." Lily stated. "Now Lils is that the way you talk to your bestest best friend." Sirius pouted giving her his best puppy dog eyes. "Last time I checked you don't have long hair, hold on I meant you don't have hair that goes past your shoulders nor are you 5'5, you also don't have brown hair and blue eyes. Lastly, you are not a female that goes by the name of Jessica. And I think you weigh more then 125 pounds." Sirius laughed as Jessica shrieked,
"Lily! They did not need to know that." Lily just laughed slightly and to me that sound was literally music. But I also knew that her laughing only meant that she was blocking what had happened.
A half-hour later Lily and Jessica had fallen asleep from exhaustion. "All right so what are we going to do?" I glanced up from staring at Lily and spoke, "We need to tell Dumbledore." Sirius glanced up in surprise and for once Remus looked dumbfounded but I could tell he agreed with me. "We need to do what?" I could tell I was in for a fight. "You heard me. I said we have to tell Dumbledore." I was really not in the mood for this. "That's what I thought you said. What happened to we deal with our own and leave the damn school administration out of it?" he was rightly suspicious of officials having once tried to tell the police that his family abused him and they simply ignored him after they told his parents of his allegations. He still has scars from what they did to him after he got home.
"What happened is that Lily got involved. She is not part of the marauders therefore we cannot treat her as such-" "Oh so she's suddenly better then us?" I glared at him. "I did not say that Sirius and you will never hear me say that. All I'm saying is that we have to treat this differently." Sirius opened his mouth for an angry retort but Remus cut him off saying "He's right Sirius. Were more or less used to attacks, Lily's not. And besides we have never had an attack on this level. She was raped for crying out loud Sirius." Sirius seemed to be having an internal debate with himself and finally said, albeit reluctantly, " Fine but we tell Dumbledore only." I nodded in agreement.
Peter who had stayed mostly out of this conversation before now asked "What about Lily? Why aren't we asking her opinion?" "Because Peter she probably wouldn't want to tell anyone and then Malfoy wont get what he deserves." He nodded in understanding. "When do we go to talk to him?" Remus wondered. "Tomorrow. I would go tonight but I don't want to leave Lily."
"What I want to know," Sirius said speaking for the first time in several minutes, "Is why she went out with that jackass in the first place." "I don't know." I shrugged " He might have coerced her I don't know."
"He didn't coerce me James. I went out with him of my own free will." She spoke so quietly I almost missed what she said. I walked over to her side, knelt beside her and said; "It doesn't matter now Lily. Don't worry about it." She struggled to sit up and protested, "But it does James. It does matter." I dearly loved the way she spoke my name. James not Potter. Life was good. I decided I should probably focus on what she was saying rather then how she said my name.
Tuning back in I heard her say, "I did it. I did it to spite you. I thought it had only been a prank when you said that you liked me. I thought as soon as I said yes to you, you would laugh in my face. So in order to show you that you can't manipulate people I went out with the one you hated most. And I also did it because part of me thought that you wouldn't laugh in my face you would just use me and then discard me like you did the rest of the female population you've dated. And then another even smaller part of me thought that you actually did like me like you said but I didn't want to like you because I had still thought of you as arrogant and self- centered. So in order to try and get over you I went out with Malfoy because he hated you and I had hoped that some of it would rub off on me." She spoke quickly and quietly as if hoping that I wouldn't hear.
"I'm sorry James. I-I didn't know you then like I know you now. You've changed. Your not arrogant or self centered anymore and you've proved that you actually care about me. I'm so sorry James I shouldn't have done it and I know that this is my fault. I actually do care about you and I'm deeply sorry for what I did."
"Now Mrs. Evans you really need to stop taking responsibility for others actions. Nothing excuses Mr. Malfoy for what he has done this night." So many people jumped that it looked as if they were on a trampoline. I looked at him in shock wondering how he knew and why he had chosen this time to come. Now I had to wait to tell Lily that I wasn't angry with her I was actually elated that she had feelings for me. Scowling I listened to Lily talk to the professor and what I heard froze my blood.
"How did you know to come?" she whispered as if dreading the answer. "After the summer incident I placed spells on you that would detect and then inform me if you were going to try suicide." He spoke just as quietly and seemed to be trying to block us from the conversation. "You did what?" her whole demeanor seemed defeated and I wanted so much to hug her and tell her that it would be okay.
Right, see now I have no idea what to do. Writer's block I really hate it. Ah well it should be gone soon. Until then or if you have any ideas REVIEW!!!! And you know what I decided to update this today even though I'll probably get in trouble.
Thank you to: Pottersprincess: I'm glad you like my story!!! Yeah!!! Bluechica: Yes I think Dumbledore should always come to the rescue since he always seems to know how to fix things. And of course to SpangleDaCanary: Her story's rock!!! And if you hadn't read it then you should go read it right now. It's called Sirius and the Reflection of life. Yes I know I like to make everything dramatic. Sigh it's my curse. Please, please review I will love you forever if you do.