The Smiling Man
A Final Fantasy Tactics fanfic
By Tenshi no Ai
I don't own the characters and locations in the game that are presented in this work, Square-Enix does.
It'd be nice if you've read Within Holy Walls before this story.
The holy dragon liked to refer to itself using feminine pronouns.
Of course, it knew full well that it was a monster, and that monsters were asexual creatures. Furthermore, the only creatures that did have actual sexes were humans, and no self-respecting monster would lower itself to use human terms, especially human terms that didn't even relate to a monster. However, the holy dragon could not help but to think that she' preferred it this way, and anyone who had a problem with her' use of linguistics could take it up with her' and her' full array of elemental breath attacks.
It was probably a good thing, then, that the holy dragon was unable to communicate with even her brethren.
I cannot quite conceive how you became this way, a green dragon and resident of Lenalia Plateau told the holy dragon as she made her way to northwestern Ivalice, you feel like a human, it added, disgust evident in its tone.
The night-colored dragon merely stared at the fellow reptile with blank reddish eyes.
In Germinas Peak, a blue dragon had this to say, confusion coloring its words: You are quite obviously one of us, yet there is a taint to your aura. Not just as a human, but...can you not feel it in yourself?
Perturbed, she could only stare back, the darkness inside her mind clouding any answers she could've given.
Ivory-white and grand, a tiamat at Bariaus Valley studied the wandering dragon for awhile. Why do you not just hide away? Just live out your days as one of us. The humans' ire will be forever raised at your actions, childling. Be content that you are no longer one of that stupid tribe.
The holy dragon understood this. Humans were stupid, flinging all sorts of sharp implements at her while shouting words of anger and greed. So many useless words of wanting revenge, of wanting her hide, of the myriad of annoyances they held for her. They were so incredibly stupid, still attacking while she stormed through the lot of them, cutting them down with the elemental forces that raged within her hulking body. Even their domesticated monsters were somehow infected with their stupidity, ramming bone-tough beaks into her scaly skin before she ruthlessly snapped their fragile necks with her razor-lined jaws.
Humans were stupid. All the same, she couldn't help but feel a strange gnawing inside as she bore down upon them. Within her clouded mind, she knew there was a word for this odd feeling that no other monster held. Was it pity'?
She wasn't sure if she felt this for the humans, or for herself.
--0--
It was a strange secondary beat inside her darkened mind, like that of her own heart, that prompted the holy dragon to head to Goland.
For many summers past, she had been searching. She hadn't been quite sure of what she was searching for, but whatever it was would bring to her mind a cleansing light that would help her realize her true purpose. She had always felt that the endless abyss shrouding her mind was unnatural, that without it she knew of things that a monster shouldn't know.
Maybe she was more than a monster.
The darkness bore down on these thoughts like an obsidian ocean wave, hindering her from going further, from reaching out and deciphering what she was.
But always within her lurked the promise of something more.
Deep within her clouded mind there was a pulsing rhythm, like that of a friendly heartbeat in time with hers. The more she walked westward, the more insistent this cadence was. A slave to her instincts, she obediently followed, seeking something more than her own existence. In Goland, she was compelled to go into the colliery, even though she was not fond of enclosed places.
There were monsters in there, all of them clawing and biting each other in a vain attempt to reach that strange something that called out to them. It infected their minds and made them crave like a human craved, burrowing into their minds a need for power that had never concerned them before. The holy dragon was immune to this poison, and easily thwarted those that were.
Finally she reached a passage, and in that passage was something shining.
Cautiously, the powerful beast approached this object, her eyes easily adjusting to the sedentary light that pulsed in the poorly-lit passage. She stared down at it, wondering at the odd heaviness inside her chest. It was somewhat painful, yet it felt important. Lowering her head, she carefully picked up the small object that seemed to her to be nothing more than a stone. A familiar stone. In her massive jaws it felt like it could've easily been crushed, but the dragon understood instinctively that not even the elements churning within her could do even a speck of damage to the stone.
She wasn't important enough in the scheme of things to do so.
As she was accepting this realization, she felt the surge of enormous otherworldly energies crackling around her scaly hide. Looking up, she blankly took in the scene in front of her. There were various monsters that she had seen on the surface, which she knew to be mostly inedible types. But it was the creature she did not recognize, the vaguely humanoid one with horns and wings, that was currently sending out waves of a power she had never felt before.
You don't have to have that stone, the creature boomed, its voice like shards stabbing into the dragon's sensitive hearing, if you value your life, hand it over now!!
Although she was young, the dragon understood all too well the intent of the foreign creature. It always came down to who was the strongest, whether it was the humans or the monsters doing the threatening. Running away was not an option. Her eyes held the acceptance of the challenge that her own voice could not bear.
There were the sounds of human footsteps behind her. Reis! I looked all over for you! Hold on, I'll save you!
She didn't know why it sounded so familiar.
The creature became still, dark energies swirling around its stationary form. Neatly flipping the stone from its tenuous position between her open jaws to underneath her tongue, the holy dragon ignored the creature's antics and headed towards one of the Inedible Ones, willing intense cold to shoot out of her mouth and blast through it. The multi-tentacled monster howled, vaporized almost instantly. She could hear the footsteps again, many of them entering into the small room while she fought for her life.
And then the flames struck.
Although elementally inert, it hurt as the magical fire singed her scales, charring her dusky purple hide. She howled within the eternal darkness of her mind, unable to voice even the greatest of agonies. Bearing gleaming fangs, she whirled around, instinctively freezing a flying Inedible One as she charged at the humanoid creature who was even now conjuring more darkly-tainted energies. As she bore down upon it, its skin began to turn a chalky gray. Lunging at it made her feel as if she rammed herself against one of the stones at Mandalia Plains, but her weight slammed the creature into a far wall, where it shattered instantly. Unable to fully comprehend this but knowing that it was no longer a threat, she turned around, finally seeing the humans she had heard earlier. They were breathing hard and irritating her hearing, the rest of the Inedible Ones' corpses littered around them.
One of them was watching her, and was now tentatively walking towards her. Reis, don't worry, the battle's over now, this human, a man, said lightly, I'm not going to hurt you.
The holy dragon blankly stared at the human, unsure of what to make of him. He, as well as his companions, smelled like dried blood and the natural unpleasant odor that all humans bore. Warningly, she opened her mouth and he stopped, holding his arms out towards him in a manner that she found odd. It implied that he wasn't going to hurt her.
For her, a hunter's frequent target, this was almost comforting.
I promise I won't hurt you, the man continued in a lower tone than before, I could never hurt you, Reis.
Reis'. That sounded familiar to the dragon. Was that...her?
In a surprising display of audacity, the man walked up to the dragon until he was standing just before her open jaws. Intrigued by this, she did nothing more than stare down her broad snout at him. When his eyes met hers, that odd pressure in her chest began again, strangely soothing and almost...needed.
His eyes were a deeper red than a red dragon's hide.
After a moment of silence, he smiled, and just for a second--
--I'm guessing this is yours, miss?--
--everything became so clear.
I know you. You're...
The darkness that muddled her mind swept over again, not so easily thwarted by the piercing light of recognition. Desperately she clung to the last vestiges of enlightenment, struggling for just this one, this very important memory.
Y-you're--
With a deadly finality, the light was swallowed up by the darkness.
If there was ever a time she had wanted to vocalize how she felt, this was it. It was an injury unlike any other cast upon her, a pain that made her want to shirk away from the man with her tail dragging heavily behind her. She did not know what this hurt was, other than it did not emanate from her flesh like so many other agonies she had suffered, but rather seared inside her.
The man was by her side, actually touching the jagged spikes that jutted from around her head. The rawhide of his gloves was appealing to her, and when she glanced at him he smiled in a way that made that gnawing inside of her calm down considerably. It's okay. We're going to make everything better again. I promise you that.
She had never heard words like that; at least, not that she could remember. They sounded like gentle words. Affected by them, she rolled her tongue, catching the small stone with the tip of the giant appendage and sticking it out of her mouth. While many draconic creatures adored shiny things, she was a nomad who had little appreciation for such troublesome items. Vaguely, she felt something of pleasure when the man's eyes widened at her gift. He took it from her sandpaper-like tongue, handling it gently. The stone shone by its own power, as monsters with elemental breaths had adapted to their powers by only producing saliva when hungry. So, you really were lured by it... he whispered, and she inclined her head at this. Humans often said the strangest things.
The man took a few steps towards his comrades, then looked back at her hesitant form. Come on, we'll be traveling together from now on, the gentle tone of his voice, as well as his smile, encouraged her to walk up to him.
And then, beside him.
--0--
The man with the wide smile and crimson eyes always called her Reis', so the dragon adopted the name as her own.
None of the other humans they traveled with called her by this name. They only gave her odd glances, or called her that dragon'. That was fine with her, because it was a special name. Humans didn't have the right to speak so familiarly with a monster such as herself, unless they were special.
The smiling man was special.
They always walked side by side, the dragon and the human, which brought a great sense of comfort to the monster who only knew of struggling alone. By herself, she was more than fine. With him it was different. There was a constant heaviness in her, swelling and ebbing at the man's actions.
She wanted to be useful to him.
Whenever the humans stopped to make camp for the night, she would disappear into the twilight. The humans preferred to rest in forests, which suited her just fine. There were lots of Edible Ones in the depths of the woods, plump monsters with wings that usually hung uselessly by their sides, yellow and black and red and all equally delicious. Even the humans liked them, though the monsters had to be thoroughly burnt first. She tried to do that once for them, but they hadn't appreciated it.
So she merely hunted, her dark purple hide rippling through the darkened forests like a mirage.
With her superior senses, it was easy for her to come across packs of Edible Ones. Powerful jaws would snap down on fragile necks, shattering vertebrate and dulling the light of life in their eyes. The dragon's strength was more than capable of dragging her prey's lifeless bodies back to the humans' camp. Proudly, she would drop the carcass of the largest monster at the smiling man's feet, and he would thank her and get it ready for the humans' consumption.
He always smiled, but the dragon could still sense something hesitant within him, as if he didn't approve of her actions. But, what else could she do?
She was just doing what all monsters did.
Wasn't that enough?
--0--
The humans needed to rest often as they traveled through the vast country sides of Ivalice. The holy dragon humored them, always settling herself beside the smiling man, who often smiled at her and patted her on the head. Despite how the humans acted around her, many of them still talked to the smiling man, referring to him in deferential tones. He responded to them, dark eyes twinkling with his innate good will.
Reis didn't like this, although she tolerated it on nearly every occasion.
Oh, Sir Kadmus, I see you're alone today.
Lazily, the dragon opened one eye and stared at the newcomer. It was a woman with yellow hair, dressed in blue and silver. It was just one of those humans that the smiling man traveled with, so Reis did nothing. Sitting beside her, the smiling man raised an arm and gestured, allowing the woman to sit down beside him. No, Reis is here as well, he replied, his head turned away from the monster's still form.
I noticed that you often don't sit with the rest of us, the woman said, her face neutral while the dragon stared at her.
I'm afraid that Reis isn't comfortable around too many humans, he made a movement with his shoulders, I don't want her to get too antsy.
The holy dragon watched as the woman glanced at her, somewhat annoyed by the human's continued presence. It seems to be very fond of you. Have you kept it a long time?
Reis did not appreciate being called an it'. Apparently, neither did the man. Reis is a female, he said, his tone short. The woman scrunched up her brows at this, sparing the dragon another look.
I've never heard of monsters having genders, not even something as rare as this Holy Dragon', sniffing slightly, the woman returned her attention to the smiling man, to Reis' consternation, I apologize if I've offended you.
...No, it's fine. It's just a preference, that's all. Anyway, it's a nice day, isn't it? Lionel's nicer this autumn...
The humans prattled on about things the dragon couldn't care less about, but she couldn't help but keep her eyes on them. Their tones were engaging as they talked about mundane things, working their way through their conversation with the same sort of ease she possessed when she hunted. Smiling now, the woman replied to something and the smiling man laughed openly.
He had never laughed when he talked to her.
She couldn't make him laugh.
A slow, irrational anger burned through the dragon, not understanding why she felt this way but knowing that she was the cause of it. Only herself. There was something so crucial about who she was that made the smiling man smile at her, and yet still act as if...as if he didn't like who she was.
What she was.
The burn formed into a steady ache, one that the dragon had never felt before. It hurt more than the flying bits of metal that had often struck her in the past. She didn't know how to stop it, how to even begin to alleviate this sickly-throbbing agony.
If only he would give her the same affection that he gave to the other humans.
If only she was a human.
It was sudden, that noise that rumbled from her previously inactive vocal cords. The sound reverberated strongly through her, forced out through a mouth that before only emitted elemental essences. In her anger, her aggravation about herself and the frustration she held regarding the smiling man, she growled.
She communicated, and she was heard.
The man was up first, worriedly staring at her. Is something wrong? Do you hear something? What is it, Reis?
I'll go tell Ramza that something may be wrong. God only knows this isn't the first time we've been ambushed, the woman, formerly all smiles and shining eyes, took on a stern look as she left them for the other humans.
Once, the dragon may have known a word for the type of action she had just done. She might have even felt emotions that a self-respecting monster would have never felt, especially when it concerned a human.
All the same, she still felt pretty satisfied when the woman left the smiling man.
--0--
In their travels, the group of humans often entered towns. With eyes full of fear, the knights that patrolled the town gates always refused to let the holy dragon pass through.
Look, she's perfectly harmless if you leave her alone. Humans are more of a danger to her than she is to them, the smiling man said, his tone indicating just how irritated he felt as the cool afternoon darkened to evening, will you please just let her in?
...Um, no, we can't, one of the knights answered, staring at the massive beast with a pale face, look at that thing, it's huge! We'll let it stay outside, but no way in hell are we gonna take responsibility for it.
The dragon watched blandly as one of the humans in the group glanced worriedly at the smiling man. What do you want to do? It's alright to just leave her out here by herself just this once, isn't it?
...Ramza, you don't understand, the smiling man grumbled, running his hands through his hair before waving a hand back towards the dragon, do you remember how you had heard about Reis?
The human called Ramza said nothing for awhile, occasionally glancing back at the other humans. Finally, he moved his shoulders in that way that Reis noticed humans often did when they were ready to give up. I understand. What do you want to do?
I'll stay out here with her again, the smiling man answered, it's not going to be too cold.
Most of the humans, while used to this answer, still shuffled around as if they didn't like it. Reis didn't understand why, and frankly it seemed like just another one of those human sort of things. After the humans entered the town, the smiling man turned to her, something that was decidedly not a smile plain on his face.
I think they think I'm a pervert, he stated. The holy dragon stared at him blankly. It wasn't the first time she'd heard this word, but it was the first time she had heard it from him.
Silently, they made their way to the wall that surrounded the town, settling down beside it. The man leaned against it, looking out into the vast nothingness beyond them as the evening darkened. I don't care what they think about me, he said finally, eyes still set on the distance, until we find the Cancer stone, they don't need to know. Once we find it and you turn back to normal, we'll go back home. I'm happy to help them, but once you change back...no, I won't risk you, absently, he patted her side.
Every time they stayed outside a town, the man would often talk long into the night. She didn't understand why, only that the action seemed to make him feel better. He talked of strange things, like the memories that she didn't have, the times they never shared, the human that she never was.
And he smiled like he had never smiled at her before.
...It'll be nice to go back, he was saying, I want to show you around. You'll have to meet Sis. She'll probably argue against you becoming a hunter. That's fine. I know you used to train to become one, but maybe it's better if we have nice, safe lives from now on. Well, whatever you like, really. I can do anything, and I know you can too, he moved his hand away from her, and she found that she was missing his touch, yeah...it's better to just fade into anonymity...I'm not going to risk losing you ever again if I can help it...
When the dragon looked over, the man was already asleep. Humans were so fragile-looking while they slept. He was no different as he dozed, the night covering his face like a shroud.
Just like how her memories were covered.
Such a fragile human, yet he meant things to the dragon that she couldn't comprehend. In some ways, the young monster didn't want to understand. Living within the darkness for so long made her fearful of the light that she knew would let her understand. She was fearful of her existence, just as she was fearful of the promise that the smiling man brought upon her.
Yet, more than anything, she wanted to understand. She craved it like humans craved power.
With these feelings so unlike a monster's, she drew closer to him and spread one of her now-useless wings around him. Silently, she willed the blazing inferno within her to spread through her hulking body, warming the sleeping man.
And within her darkened mind, something finally lit.
--0--
The holy dragon battled alongside the humans until the odd metal thing exploded, leaving behind a stone like the one she had presented to the smiling man. He was there now, talking to a shorter human. She knew it had something to do with her, by the way the shorter man had said something about this dragon'.
Finally, the smiling man gestured for her to approach them. He handed her the stone, along with a small, lung-shaped bag, both items easily fitting into her mouth. Come on, don't be afraid, he smiled, his eyes bright with some unknown emotion that startled the dragon, try it.
Unsure of what the man wanted her to do, Reis entered the building, the first building she had willingly entered since the mines in Goland. Once inside, she dropped all the objects onto the cold stone floor and stared at them. The bag did nothing. The stone was pulsing with a strange light, just like the other one she had come in contact with.
That was when everything became complicated to the dragon.
She had given the last stone to the smiling man. Now, he had given her this stone. Why? She wasn't interested in shiny stones. She wasn't interested in many things at all.
Except for him.
He had given the stone away, to the shorter man with the yellow hair. Why, she didn't know. All she had known was that she had wanted to give something to the smiling man.
Why?
It was a good question. There was no reason for her to give things to a human. He was just a human. She was the greatest of dragons.
Was that really right?
She wanted to give him something that he would keep with him. Something he couldn't easily give away, just like he easily gave away all those smiles to her.
Her.
He easily gave away smiles to everyone. But there were the other smiles, the smiles that shone across his face as he remembered a her that she didn't remember being.
Suddenly, she knew what to give him.
That man...he's always smiling at me, but it's not me he sees. I want...I want to have the form the smiling man remembers, so that he'll always smile...
-End-
Here's an interesting question to think about: if the Lucavi contracts with selfish people in order to appear in Ivalice, what did Reis wish for that would bypass possession by a Lucavi? Recollection as a human was lost to Holy Dragon Reis, so she really couldn't have wished for her old body back. Well, here's a possible answer.