Chapter: Six
Title: Campfires and Drinking Songs
Author: Zelli
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Zelli's castle soon faded into the distance as the two armies rode east toward Rhûn. Normally, it would take roughly two weeks to travel the distance from Zelli's castle in Anfalas to Minas Tirith, if they were hurrying, but Zelli and Tanni, with some carefully timed snap jumps could cut the time in half. Of course, if they really concentrated, they could snap all the way to Rhûn. But where was the fun in that?
After about three days of riding, the two armies had covered roughly two hundred and fifty miles (half of the distance, of course, being covered with snap jumps). Some of the Rohirrim had become severely disoriented by the last jump so Zelli and Tanni had decided to rest for a day at Ethir Anduin, the mouth of the Auduin River. Many of the riders simply took naps in the grass, but several set up a series of horse races along the sandy banks of the river. A few of the riders wanted to joust, but Tanni stated that the damage to men and armor was not worth it.
Zelli's spoon minions simply stuck themselves in the ground and sunned.
As night approached, several large bonfires were set up. Zelli somehow produced a large number of hotdogs, marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate bars, while Tanni dug out the rum stock. The spoon minions, needing no nourishment simply went to sleep while the Rohirrim, Éomer, Tanni and Zelli stated eating, drinking and being merry.
Before long, Zelli and Tanni broke into song. (What do you expect when you give two Yanks chocolate and rum?)
Of course, Éomer and the Rohirrim simply looked confused and shook their heads.(singing) : Tanni
Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news
Said somebody's been shot, somebody's been abused
Somebody blew up a building
Somebody stole a car
Somebody didn't get too far, yeah
They didn't get too far...
Having heard the song before and knowing full well what was coming, Éomer rolled his eyes.(singing) : Zelli
Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree
Round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street
For all the people to see
The Rohirrim that hadn't heard the song before simply gawked, scandalized, as Éomer shook his head. Giving beer to horses? It was so wrong!(singing) : Both
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
And we'll all met back at the local saloon
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing, "whiskey for my men, beer for my horses!"
By this point Éomer and half the Rohirrim had stopped listening. The other half still hadn't quite figured out what the song was about, either because they were asleep, complete drunk or imbeciles (the 'imbeciles' only applying to Gilligan).(singing) : Tanni
We've got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
We've got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets
(singing) : Zelli
It's time the long arm of the law, put a few more in the ground
Send them all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down
You can bet he'll set 'em down, 'cause...
"You know Tanni," Zelli said as she finished off her third mug of rum, "If we want to head out early tomorrow, it might be a good idea to send the eored to bed now."(singing) : Both
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
And we'll all met back at the local saloon
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing, "whiskey for my men, beer for my horses!"
{Repeat}
Tanni chuckled as she finished off her fourth mug. "True, true, though some of them won't be happy." She snapped her fingers and all the rum went back to its hiding place (that mystic void where all snapped items go). The eored groaned like little children, but a swift glare from their queen sent them all to their bed rolls.
"Very good Tanni," Zelli said as she headed off to her private tent, "You've really got that 'Go To Bed Now!' glare down. That's a must for all mums... and wives..."
Tanni simply grinned as she dragged a half-asleep Éomer to the royal tent.
A/N: Drinking song is "Beer for my Horses" by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson