Author Note: Dear Obsessed Freak, I know it is just perverse that my wonderful Padfoot and Moony are not raving homosexuals, but hey! This is fan fiction. It's open to anyone's interpretation. And how can you make that judgment yet? We're only three chapters in anyway, so who knows? Maybe Sirius power of seduction will turn that sexy young werewolf… who knows?

Love Scaramouche Jay xxx

Thank you so much to my lovely Beta readers Mosephine and Zippedy!

Disclaimer: I own no one you recognize from JKR's fantastic world, and that goes for the last chapter too! Anyone else though came from my own mind, whether for good or bad. Sorry.

Beauty is only skin deep

Poking his food about his plate with his fork, Sirius wondered what had gone wrong. He had come in. He had smiled. He made conversation. He joked. He smiled some more. They left. Why did they leave? Dinkerella didn't even acknowledge his presence. Most disturbing. He was still unsure why he cared whether she cared he was alive, because he shouldn't care if she cared. No. No, indeed he shouldn't. No indeed. Indeed. No.

"Are you alright Sirius?" James was looking at him, his head on one side. It was only now that Sirius noticed that the hall was starting to empty, everyone else having had finished their lunches. He sighed. Looking around at the faces of Remus, James and Peter staring at him worriedly.

"What's up Sirius?" James asked again.

Sirius sighed again in a forlorn and annoying manner.  Several girls had fits of desire and passed out. Sirius looked at his friends sadly.

"It's not this whole thing with Dinkerella is it?" Remus asked in annoyance. "I didn't do anything! I swear it was going fine…"

"Well, as fine as it can be when you go into tongue spasms at the sight of girls." Peter pointed out

"Yes, thank you Peter. I just don't know what happened… You came in and Kara went out…"

"Don't you mean Dink?" asked James.

"Yeah, what did I say?"

"Kara," Peter told him.

"Well I meant Dink." Remus looked flustered.

"James, do you find me attractive?" Sirius asked suddenly. It was a niggling doubt, and he needed to know.

"What?!" James was more than a little shocked at the abrupt change of subject.

"Do you find me attractive?"

"Uh… I think we'll leave you to it," Remus said, getting quickly out of his seat.

"Yeah… I think that… yeah." Peter swiftly followed.

"Uh guys! Hello? No! Come… back." James trailed off as Peter and Remus exited the hall. He grimaced and turned back to Sirius, who was forlornly pushing peas around his plate. "Ummm… well…" James searched for something to say. "Ummm… Do you find me attractive?" James finally asked awkwardly, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

Sirius blinked at him.

"A-ha!" James said defiantly. There was a silence. "Ummm…  well do you?" James felt self conscious at the length of time it was taking for Sirius to consider this question. Wasn't he attractive? He mussed his hair self-consciously. Sirius cocked his head to one side, viewing James critically. He began smiling in a vacant sort of way and he giggled.

James began shifting uneasily. He liked being examined closely even less than silence. He shoved his hands into his pockets.

Sirius suddenly stood up, attracting the attention of most of the remaining students. He slid across the table and stood in the seat next to James. He pushed James' fringe to one side and ruffled it, loosening James tie. He pulled his shirtsleeves down. James blinked as Sirius stood back to survey his work. He was twiddling his hair absently around his finger. He giggled.

"NOW I do."

James wasn't sure how the conversation had ended up here. He wasn't sure he liked it.

"Uh… Limpylegs..? Oi!  Snivellus! I wanna, uh, talk to- No no! I want to curse you! Come here!" And with that James legged it, leaving a slightly bamboozled Sirius standing in the middle of the Great Hall.

"Hey! James! You didn't answer my question! James! Come back!"

*        *        *

Sirius sat in the library blowing on the end of his quill to make it dance and twirl. He was thinking, and that was an unusual occurrence. Not because Sirius was stupid or slow, just that he rarely chose to think. He was alone. He still hadn't convinced James that he didn't want to seduce him, and Remus and Peter had disappeared off the face of the Earth. Or they were avoiding him.

He was still bothered about the incident in the Arithmancy classroom. He had reviewed his movements several times and he still couldn't work out what had gone wrong.

Was he boring? Not suave? Did he wave too soon? What did he do?

And then there was that fearful, niggling, nag at the back of his mind. No, it couldn't be true. He was Sirius Black! Yes he was! The one who made girls swoon, the one who made girls faint, the one who- oh what was the point? He was obviously the worst looking bloke in the history of the world. He made the likes of Ken Dodd look like the God of love and beauty. He sighed and looked down at his 'divination homework'. The parchment was blank and he was ugly. Why was life so cruel? He banged his head on the desk.

Why, why, why?!

A giggle rang out behind him. He ignored it, staring at the shiny mahogany of the desk. It was the oblivion his life was heading into. The ugliness that was him was being reflected back at him in the desks sheen. The giggle rang out again, and Sirius turned to the source of it. A small group of girls were huddled just behind him in the transfiguration section. They giggled as he looked up at them and they tittered even more as he smiled at them. Sirius smiled some more. Sixth year, Hufflepuffs. The redhead was cute and the blonde was stunning. He leant back in his chair opening his mouth to say some witty and intelligent remark, before snapping his mouth shut again and turning back to his empty parchment. No Sirius! That habit had to go. Remember, you're ugly now.

He heard a giggle at his left hand shoulder. The redhead was standing there, fluttering her lashes at him. Great, now she would mock and humiliate him. Sirius leant forward, preparing for the onslaught.

"Hey." She giggled.
Hey? Was that it?

"Hey yourself," Sirius tried uncertainly. She turned to her blonde friend and mimed a scream. Sirius scratched the back of his head. Odd, she hadn't run in repulsed shock.

"Hi, I'm Mimi, and that over there is Elle." She pointed at her blonde friend who waved slightly. "You're Sirius right?"

"Yeah, that's right." Sirius pushed a pencil behind his ear and Mimi looked like she was fighting to maintain her composure.

"It's just, I hear you're pretty good at divination, and I was wondering if you could tutor me or something?" Mimi asked ever so casually.

"I wouldn't say I was good," Sirius thought back to his D.

"Oh… well maybe we could… I mean…" Mimi was gabbling obviously trying to extend the conversation.

"Look, I gotta go somewhere." Sirius said distractedly, wishing to be mocked no more about his failure at divination and as a man.

"Oh… Okay… I… Bye then." Mimi looked like she wanted to cry.

"Yeah. Bye." Sirius stuffed his quill and parchment into his bag and stood up. He started across the library.

"Wait!" Mimi squeaked, sharing a desperate look with her friend.

Sirius stopped and turned back to her. She hurried over to him and started to talk really quickly before she lost her nerve. "Look I really like you, and I know a lot of girls do and everything, but really I though, you know maybe we could do something, sometime? Please?" she looked at her feet and a bemused smile started its way up Sirius' face.

"You like me?" he asked.

"Yeah… Is that bad? I shouldn't have said anything I-"

"You don't think I'm repulsive and make the Giant Squid look appealing?" Sirius cut her off.

She looked at him in the way you would look at a Siamese unicorn- with complete amazement. "No. I mean you're gorgeous!" she blushed as she realised what she had said.

"I'm gorgeous?" Sirius' smiled widened in wonderment.

"Well… yeah." Mimi looked at him a though he had gone mad.

Sirius debated this view. He was gorgeous. He looked across at the blonde. She giggled and waggled her fingers at him flirtily. That would mean he was attractive too… this really was a voyage of self-discovery.

"What about your friend?" Sirius asked subtly.

"She doesn't mind me making a play for you… Actually, she said she'd do it herself if I got turned down."

"So she doesn't think I'm hideous either?"

"Ummm… No…"

"So I'm not a ghastly, horrible looking creature?"

"No you're not." Mimi looked at him worriedly, "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm not ugly." Sirius said to himself excitedly. "Woo hoo!" He leapt into the air and punched out with his fist. He landed lightly on his feet and leant forward, kissing Mimi quickly on the mouth. "I'll owl you sometime." He smiled his heartbreaking smile and streaked out of the library, oblivious to the screams of joy emitting from the two girls there.

He wasn't ugly, and tonight he was going to show Dinkerella that. Yes he was. She didn't stand a chance… again…

Author Note: Thank you so much to all my other lovely reviewers, I really appreciate it and I'm glad you like it… still doing my best to keep it going! I'm not entirely sure what is blue, or where the pop tarts are… I'll have to look into it. As for the Merovigian, well that's just there for my good friend Zippedy.