A/N: Wow, I've gone and made Hikari-chan all OOC in this chapter. But really, I do like this side of her better. All outspoken. XD Anyway, here is the 5th chapter!!!!! I'm trying not to say much here because I know there are those diligent and LOYAL people who actually read the a/n before they read the chapter. OKAY!? So, if you want endless rambling/updates/notes, check the end notes!!! Ok? XD
Disclaimer: UNFORTUNATELY, I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion/Shin Seiki Evangelion, OR the idea of love letters, OR the invention of shoe lockers, OR the invention of fanfiction. I do, however, own an imagination. XD So there's that.
And as always, thanks to my lurrvaly pre-readers: Danny-without-all-the-numbers. And FinalMax--but FinalMax, you didn't reply to my e-mail. I gave you two days, and no reply...sorry! Danny found everything alright except for a few typos, if you had anything to say, tell me, and I'll change it.
Things you should know before reading:
xoxoxoxoxoxo--the 'moment' separator. Because the staff at fanfiction-dot-net is mean and won't let me do the dashes, that'll have to do.
italics--thoughts. But y'all should have known that by now.
To Asuka
Chapter 5
Everything was dark.
There was a scent of laundry detergent in the air along with the faint smell of sweat and LCL. Shampoo-smelling hair was tossed around in his neck; his palms felt clammy and his chest felt heavy. An eye cracked open, but it was still dark.
He frowned.
Where am I? He wondered to himself. He looked at the walls around him. They were unfamiliar.
Then, as his sights settled down on a lock of red hair floating on his arm, he knew.
He jerked back. What the hell!? He thought to himself. He sat up, his mind drowsy from sleep, his eyes forcing themselves back down to close. His brain was still in sleep mode; he couldn't think properly; the world was fuzz to him.
Then a small whimper brought his eyes back down to the sleeping figure beside him.
There lay a 14-year-old girl, sleeping silently, her cheeks cold and sticky from earlier tears. She was clutching the blanket and her other arm was stretched out onto his space. Her head had rolled onto the bed where his chest used to be; she had been using it as a pillow. Red hair was tangled and matted over the sheets and the pillows.
Shinji smiled at the girl. She didn't seem to be having any more trouble. She was sleeping peacefully and was hopefully dreaming dreams that weren't disturbing. As quietly as he could, he slipped off the bed into the wee hours of the early morning. The bed gave the slightest creak but the girl did not wake. She didn't even move.
He exhaled a sigh of relief and quietly tip-toed back into his own room.
xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
The walk to Shinji's room was short but the minutes he stayed awake were long and uneasy. Every little creak he heard, he thought was Asuka stirring herself into a nightmare again. He kept his ears on high alert and his head high off the pillow, causing a painful crick in his neck.
Finally, he convinced himself that Asuka was going to be just fine and the sound of Pen-Pen slamming a can of beer against his fridge wall did not mean Asuka was going to start sobbing uncontrollably again. But he knew that even with the most thorough reassuring, he could still not sleep.
The anticipation and anxiety was just too much. Besides, Misato had started her phase of....unusual noises....and it was just too disturbing and loud for Shinji to get any kind of rest at all. His eyelids drooped, but no fatigue claimed him. Stretching across his bed like a cat, he yawned, and in the process caught sight of his open notebook on the bedside table.
Shinji stopped, mid-cat-stretch. He stared, unblinking, at the notebook. His cloudy mind was trying to tell him something, but it felt as if he was drunk on tears and the early morning fuzz. But he knew that a notebook, Asuka, and being alone meant something to him....
The fountain pen on the floor awoke him. A quiet smile stretched across his face. He slumped out of his stretch and bent down to pick up the heavy, silver pen. Soon the notebook was on his lap and he was sitting cross- legged on the bed, the sheets tangled over his legs and off the bed and the night humidity hung in the air limply.
The heavy silver nib touched the paper and Shinji's hand started to scrawl.
What exactly his hand was willing him to write Shinji did not know, all he did know was that the result would be no less than satisfying.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
She twitched. Her eye cracked open, revealing a dark room. She opened her eyes all the way even though it hurt. Squinting, she realized she was not in her own home.
Where...am I?
She turned her head sideways and saw a tv and another sofa across from her. She struggled to sit up, and when she did she saw herself staring at a penguin drinking a can of Yebisu beer.
Then she remembered.
Where else will I find a penguin drinking a can of alcohol? She thought to herself, grimacing slightly at the vision of Pen-Pen having a hangover. Well, no where else but Major Katsuragi's house.
She lowered herself back down on the couch, only to find that it was not as comfortable as she had found it earlier. The foam was too firm, and too bouncy, and the blanket seemed thinner than ever. She sighed.
Maybe if I arise and walk around some I will get sleepy again, she thought to herself. I no longer wish to go to bed. I wonder what awoke me.
She listened carefully, only to hear the constant hum of the refrigerator and the slurp of Pen-Pen sucking on his beer. But if one listened even more carefully, they could hear the faint scritch-scritch of a pen nib being scratched across paper.
Her ears twitched slightly. She got up and slid off the couch, feeling the stubbly carpet underneath her. The night air enveloped her and she shivered slightly, even in the humid temperature. She held the table for support and stood up.
I will follow the noise, she thought, almost as one would think when following their prey in the dark. And see who is making it.
Slowly she dragged her feet across the cold linoleum floor and then through the carpet in the hallway. In the middle of the hall, she listened to each room. Where was that sound coming from? There was no hole big enough under the sliding doors to give any impression of light, and all of the doors were closed. She stepped up to the first sliding door.
As soon as she heard the word "Kaji" mixed with a few....naughty expletives, she immediately backed away from the door and bumped squarely into the next one. She gently pressed her ear against the door.
Nothing.
The only person that sleeps like that, she thought to herself, tapping her chin, is Sohryu. She will sleep through anything.
So that meant that the last room...
She moved in front of the sliding door and immediately heard the scritch of the pen. She congratulated herself silently for finding the source of the noise, then, without a knock or a warning, she slid it open.
Shinji jumped as he heard his door open. Asuka, was the first thing he thought as he slowly turned his head around, but instead of a redhead with puffy tear-stained eyes staring back at him was a blue-headed girl with squinting red eyes, looking at his paper.
He resisted the urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake her violently while yelling, "WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE NOW!?" His creative instincts had been shattered. But instead, he cracked a smile.
"Rei," He said. "I thought you were sleeping."
"You should be sleeping as well," Rei said, avoiding his question. "It is approximately..." She stole a glance at his clock. "1:53 AM. Is this not the time when most people in the Tokyo-3 area are asleep in bed?"
Shinji winced. "Ah...yes," He said. "But...I had...stuff," He said in what fanfiction writers like to call an "inspirational rush", quotation marks always included. "Stuff."
Rei raised an eyebrow. "Stuh....stuff?"
He nodded vigorously. "Stuff."
How could he tell her that he had gone to Asuka's room at the sound of her sobbing to comfort her? The day and night before had been enough, he knew, enough for both of them. Why should he trouble her even further? It was almost two in the morning. Not a good time for drama. So....
....Shinji decided that the answer to all his problems, worries, woes, and fears was 'stuff'.
"Ok, I couldn't sleep," He finally said, knowing that the answer 'stuff' was pathetic beyond belief. "It's insomnia."
"Insomnia is where you cannot sleep?" Rei said, more to herself than to Shinji. "Oh. Then I have insomnia as well. But I was awoken, apparently by the sound of your pen on paper." She pointed subtly to the pen and paper, both of which Shinji was trying to hide.
Shinji blushed. He glanced down at the notebook, which was by now scribbled over with poetry. "Oh....I'm sorry, Rei...I didn't know I was that loud."
She shook her head. "Do not worry. But please explain to me what you are writing and why you would be writing it at--" Another quick glance to the clock. "Two AM in the morning?"
Shinji said many, many inappropriate things in his head. Damn!! Why does Rei have to be so curious?
Then, accompanying the Little Asuka in his head (back up to chapter 3) came a Little Rei. What do you mean, why does Rei have to be so curious? That does sound insulting. Is that an insult? I have heard of insults...those are what Second likes to call me, is that not right, Ikari? I am not pleased with your answer. You have also said 'Damn'. Major Katsuragi says that too when she is angry. Are you angry, Ikari? What have I done? All I am asking is, "what are you doing". It is a simple question, is that not so? Well, Ikari? Well, Ikari? Well?
Ouch.
Shinji slammed his head with his palm, trying to get rid of Little Rei screaming (and now Little Asuka is coming over to have a little fight with Little Rei! Oh-ho-ho! Well, this might be violent, ladies and gentlemen, we better--oh my, that was explicit...), but he was too slow, and soon he found Rei glancing over his shoulder.
He quickly moved his arm to try and cover it up more but he could feel her tense up in the slightest bit. Oh no, he groaned inwardly. I hope she doesn't know who it's to...
"Are you writing some sort of letter, Ikari-kun?" Rei asked, cocking her head sideways. "May I ask who it is addressed to, or would you wish not to give me this information?"
Shinji blushed. No, he didn't blush, he burned. turning a color that well rivaled Unit 02 and Asuka's plugsuit. "Er, well....it's..."
What could he say? No way in HELL would he tell Rei it was to Asuka. He could feel sweat rolling off his forehead and the paper underneath his hands growing damp with the clammy feel of his hands. He stuttered, trying to find the right words. What could he say?
Oh, it's nothing.
Well, it's not to you.
UMMM, I HAVE TO GO....TO...THE....POTTY!!!
(From this information we have gathered that Shinji needed Girl Lessons, or perhaps maybe some kind of pill, bad.)
Then he remembered something he had seen on television when Asuka had banged him over the head with a plate and told him to change the damn channel already, this crap is boring the hell out of me. It was one of those weird soap operas where the average cast member had seventy-two affairs and twenty-eight secrets, sixteen of which were getting them into trouble. Shinji, while trying to ignore the pain in his head caused by a plate making unecessary contact with it, stared at the screen and read the subtitles at the bottom:
You're special....you're special...you're special.
Nobody should ever really take advice from a soap opera, because you will eventually get killed by your husband's-ex-wife's-boyfriend's-sister's- jealous friend's-associate's-lawyer's-agent, but in this crisis of Shinji's it was all he really needed.
"This is to...a...a special person," He managed to say with a straight face. "Someone very special to me."
A defeaning silence followed, in which Rei would very much like to have screamed. She knew that Shinji knew that Rei was not very...experienced in the field of feelings. How could she know what special was!? Sure, she knew the meaning of it: exceeding common or usual. So this person Shinji was writing to was exceeding the limits of being common, or usual. But Rei knew thousands of people who weren't common; weren't unusual. Misato, for instance. Common people did not drink 10 cans of beer for breakfast. The Second Child as well. Who could act so deranged, so strange, so harsh, and not be common?
Then Rei stopped. Second! Her nonexistent temper flared. He is writing to Second. He must be. Who else would Ikari be writing a letter to? He is writing to her once more, just like in the past, on the school roof. She frowned slightly.
"Ikari-kun, could you inform me of something?" She asked, a hint of bitterness in her voice, but so little that Shinji did not notice at all.
Shinji looked up, praying Rei would not suspect it was to Asuka. "Of course," He said, trying to keep his voice straight.
"Would you tell me...am I..." Rei straightened herself up. "Am I special?"
Shinji would have liked to strangle himself rather than answer, but he chose the latter, as well as choosing his words carefully.
"Of...of course you're special, Rei. Yes, of course you are."
This sort of answer seemed to have kept Rei happy. Her eyes lit up but her mouth did not smile. Instead she nodded and backed out towards the door.
"Thank you....Ikari-kun," She said slowly, then stepped out and slung the door back into place behind her.
The moment the quiet shlip of the door ended, Shinji began to mentally panic. Did he do the right thing!? Was Rei mad at him!? She didn't seem angry. But she never is angry. Oh my God. What if Asuka finds out? Oh my God. I thought Rei seemed disappointed. But she is special. Now what? Oh God.
Panicked, grief-stricken and tired, Shinji struggled to finish the last lines of his letter, then threw it on the floor and without bothering to shut off the light, fell asleep. His dreams would consist of Little Reis and Little Asukas and Little Shinjis being taken to Little Therapists, but, he did not know that, and instead closed his eyes to hopeful dreams of letters, Asuka, and Reis.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
The next morning nobody seemed to remember anything that had happened the night before. Asuka woke up snarling and with circles underneath her eyes, Rei woke up on the couch and changed into a spare uniform of Asuka's (without her knowledge, Misato had taken one from the dryer and given it to Rei. "She won't mind, don't worry about it," Rei had been told, but she was still suspicious.) And Shinji woke up a bit restless and a bit tired, haunted by the night before, still wondering if his answer was acceptable.
"Hey, Baka Shinji," Asuka screamed from the hallway. "You better hurry up, I don't wanna be late to school and now we have Wondergirl in tow with us. Get your ass moving." She stomped into the kitchen and ignored Rei who was sitting at the counter eating a bowl of rice.
Rei did not look up. "Good morning, Second Child."
"Whatever."
Rei smiled secretly under her chopsticks. Last night had given her all she wanted to know. Ikari-kun said he was writing to a special person, she thought with the slightest hint of glee. And he told me that I am special. Does this not mean that I could be a potential letter-receiver as well? She picked up her tea mug with ease and joyfulness; what if she was right? She started to hum, very quietly, under her breath, but Asuka, being not usual or common as labeled by Rei, heard her quite well.
Asuka stared at Rei with a look of horror on her face. No way in the hell is First humming, Asuka thought. Humming! Only happy people hum. Wondergirl is not happy. Wondergirl is incapable of being happy. Wondergirl could be a ceramic figure standing in the middle of an art gallery, and no one would notice. Dammit, why the hell is she acting like this!?
The loss of First information dominating Asuka was killing her. She growled. She sauntered over to the place opposite Rei on the counter. She stared.
Rei ate her rice.
Just when Asuka was about to start Angry Girl Fit #89,546,230, Shinji ambled into the kitchen rubbing his eyes and yawning, his shirt half-tucked into his pants, his hair uncombed, his stride lopsided and dragging.
"Good morning, Shinji!" Misato said gleefully, not drunk at all. She was stirring a mug of beer with a teaspoon. "Oh, and good morning, Asuka! Good morning to you as well, Rei! Now, if you don't hurry up, kidlets," Misato said matter-of-factly, "You're going to be late for school!"
Asuka and Shinji stared.
While they stared at the elderly mad, Rei got up, put her rice bowl in the sink, finished her tea and picked up her bag. "It is best if we leave now," She called from the foyer.
Misato grinned insanely as Asuka and Shinji walked towards the door. "Have a good day at school, Asuka-chan, Shinji-kun, Rei-chan! Be safe!"
"Oh God, let's make a run for it," Asuka mumbled.
They all struggled to get out of the door at the same time, finally coming to the fact that they wouldn't all be able to squeeze through. Rei went first, followed by a growling Asuka, followed by a yawning Shinji.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Misato sighed.
"God, you have no idea how hard it is to be a good influence to children," She said to Pen-Pen, who was watching tv. "But Ritsu says I need to be a better example for Asuka and Shinji. 'We don't need to worry about Rei'", Misato said, mocking Ritsuko. She frowned. "But really. I love those kids....er...I mean, I don't want to feel like I failed at my first chance of kind-of motherhood."
Pen-Pen nodded, somewhat understandingly.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
The walk to school was uneventful, with the usual Asuka yelling at stop lights. No, really. When you've walked with Asuka for awhile, you get used to her yelling at inanimate objects as well as random animate objects, so it becomes usual.
"STUPID STOP LIGHTS!!" She screamed. "WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THE TRAFFIC!? I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!! TURN GREEN!!! TURN GREEN, DAMNIT!!!!!!!! DID YOU HEAR ME!? SOHRYU ASUKA LANGLEY JUST ASKED YOU TO TURN GREEN!!! WHY ARE YOU STILL RED!?"
A few cars passing by the sidewalk honked their horns at Asuka, some telling her to mind her manners or to just shut up. Asuka, irritated that her wish was not being granted, thrust up her middle finger in an equivalent of saying, "Yeah, well you can just shove it up my ass," meanwhile shocking a couple of old kimono-clad women making their way across the opposite sidewalk.
Shinji resisted the urge to shut his eyes and go to sleep while standing at the intersection. He yawned and clamped down just as a fly whizzed by his mouth.
Finally, the light turned green and he managed to drag himself across the crosswalk. The school was less than a quarter mile away. Good, he thought. I just wanna get to my desk...and just....sleep.....
He yawned again, this time feeling something in his jaw crack.
While Asuka was sending off waves of radiation and Shinji was trying to fight the urge to hide himself in the bushes and just conk out, Rei was hoping, very subtly, that she would receive a letter, a piece of paper, with her name on it, in her shoe locker.
Do not get--what is it that everyone says...? Ah...do not get your hopes up, she told herself. It might not have been intended for you...
But a part of her refused to think that.
We're almost there.... Shinji thought hazily, looking at the school building looming in front of him, grinning stupidly. Just...a...little...further...
And yet, as his foot touched the first step into school, as sleep was beckoning him with a fluffy finger, he heard a female voice ring out in a curious and agitated way.
"Hikari!"
NO!!! Shinji thought, turning to Asuka, who had turned to Hikari, waiting on the sidewalk in front of the school. You b.... He gritted his teeth. DON'T TALK TO HER!!!! He panicked. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? DON'T TALK!!!! I'M SLEEPY!!!!
But Asuka had already skipped over to her best friend and began to chat in that quipping way that girls talk, leaving Shinji stranded on the school stairs, mouth open, eyes twitching.
"Hikari! What are you doing here? It's 10 minutes until school starts! You, of all people...out here...not in class?"Asuka fluttered her hand to her collarbone. "This is such a shock! Tell me you're not Hikari Horaki, class representative, expert nagger!"
Hikari frowned. "Oh, really, Asuka. You don't have to be like that. It is me, Hikari Horaki, class representative, and I am not an expert nagger. I'm just out here, uh....I'm just...waiting for someone...that's all," She said, looking away and blushing a little.
Asuka's mouth dropped open. "WHAT!? No...no way! Hikari! Don't tell me...."
Shinji mumbled some profanity and started to walk toward the entrance, dragging his feet along the sidewalk, his bag hanging limply at his side, mumbling about the 'stupid female psyche'. Rei saw him walk away and walked faster to catch up with him, disguising her unusually longer strides as best she could. Luckily, Asuka nor Hikari noticed her and Shinji together, walking side by side into the school building.
Asuka was too busy putting two and two together, anyway, which was taking a longer time than it would the average person. (Should we offer her a calculator?)
"You!?" She sputtered. She took both of her index fingers and linked them together. "You and.....woah...Hikari, don't tell me....no way! That can't be!" Her blue eyes opened wide, showing for a split second the innocent, curious kitten side of Asuka Langley Sohryu.
"Asuka," Hikari said, annoyed, "How can I tell you what I'm doing here if you keep on acting like that!? All stupid and stuttery," She frowned, tapping her foot impatiently.
Breathing deeply, Asuka settled down. "Ok. I'm fine. Now tell me what the hell you are doing out here, IGNORING your class rep duties? Such a bad thing to do, young lady," She said, shaking her index finger.
"Well, if you must know," Hikari said, clasping her hands together over her heart and nearly swooning, "I am waiting for..."
"Hey!"
A masculine and accented voice rang out across the street in front of the school. Hikari stopped short in her sentence and immediately turned around and waved, blushing, grinning like a lovesick idiot.
Finally, Asuka realized that two and two was four; and her jaw dropped.
"T-T-TOUJI!? She managed to spit out, clutching her throat. "YOU WERE WAITING FOR THIS...DORK!?"
"He is not a dork," Hikari snapped defensively. "And yes, I was waiting for him."
There was a stunned silence, then a gush of words.
"Please, Hikari," Asuka pleaded, her hands clasped together, pleading for a miracle. "Please, please, please tell me you were waiting for Touji because his grades are horrible and sensei asked you to tell him because you'd be softer on the guy than sensei?! Please tell me that's why you were waiting for him!?""Yo, Asuka, what are you doin' here?" Touji asked , approaching the two girls. "I thought you'd be with Shinji, you know, in class. It's already five till eight."
Asuka glared. "I know it's late, you lard head, and I'm just out here wondering why Hikari, of all possible people to be tardy, is out here and not in the classroom like you assumed I was," She snapped.
"Woah, don't need to be so catty. And what did you call me? A lard head?" He frowned, mumbling something that sounded like 'stupid foreigner' under his breath, then turned to Hikari and smiled. "Hey. So you risked your class rep duties for me, eh? Now that makes me feel special."
Hikari smiled back, a tender (Asuka nearly hurled) look in her eye. "It should. But I don't think sensei would approve of you late, huh?" They began to walk into the school building, side by side, Asuka dangling at the end of the rope, mouth still open.
"Me?" Touji asked as he draped his arm around her shoulder casually. "Me, I'm used to it. But what about you?"
"Me?" Hikari giggled. "I'm the class rep, Touji. I can get away with murder if that murder involves the classroom."
They walked, together, in love, and without Asuka, into the school building just as the last bell chimed.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Asuka was having trouble with the two and two thing again.She sat at her desk, perfectly still, watching Hikari do the attendance in front of the classroom. Hikari looked the same--brown hair pulled into two ponytails with red hair bands, freckles scattered across her face, knee socks wrinkled to just the right amount of the casual schoolgirl style. Asuka watched as her eyes scanned the classroom, looking for absentees.
Out there, Asuka thought, a swirly feeling in her stomach, was just....unreal. Touji and Hikari!!! Who would ever thought they'd get together? Asuka began to move her mouse around the desktop of her laptop in circles, thinking hard. I mean, Hikari did have the hots for Dud Man, and I guess it's not like they don't look good together, but, I mean.....I mean....
Asuka stopped. Her cheeks flared as a thought popped into her head. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the feeling that came over her.
No, no, NO! She thought. I am NOT jealous of Hikari!!! She gritted her teeth. There is no way I'm jealous of Hikari and Touji. No way. I mean...but...they look so happy together, Asuka thought wistfully, forgetting her anger for a second. They're so in love. And it's a bit pathetic, but still...who wouldn't kill to have a boyfriend....just a guy...who'd love you?
Dreams of warmth, protection and fluff overcame her. She sighed, the ache in her chest throbbing. She did not need to remind herself, but she knew, she knew, that the arms wrapped around her in her dreams, the kisses traveling down her neck, on her eyelids, on her lips, were that of the anonymous on her poems. I wish he'd write me again, Asuka thought to herself as her head sunk down into her arms. His words are so unreal they're comforting.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Shinji yawned for the fifty-third time since he'd woken up. He rubbed the circles under his eyes and tried to get to sleep, ignoring the chatters of his fellow students and the considerable ache in his lower jaw.
Sleep need, he thought to himself. Need sleep fast. Sleep I need. Need I sleep. Close eyes want to.....
Shinji buried his face in his arms and shut his eyes. He stifled another yawn and tried to think of sheep tripping--er--jumping over fences. It was working, he thought, as he drifted off into sleep, falling in and out of reality. The colors around him became hazy and undistinguishable. His breathing became even and he finally fell into a deep sleep.
Unfortunately, his "deep sleep" was soon disturbed by none other than the miniscule, dream version of Rei Ayanami.
Shinji sobbed inside his head. (Yes, Little Shinji.) WHY MUST THE FEMALE PSYCHE HAUNT ME CONSTANTLY!? Little Shinji wailed. WHY MUST THE OPPOSITE SEX STALK ME 24/7!? WHY MUST I BE TORTURED SO!?
(Welcome to the true meaning of adolesence, Shinji.)
Shinji woke up groggily, not fit enough to face Little Rei. He mumbled a few obscenities and stared at the blackboard. The teacher was writing something dull and seemingly "important" on the board and the click of mouses and keyboards were blasting away at Shinji's ears. He glanced at his own empty laptop, a blank text document staring up at him.
He glanced at the notebook in his backpack, the same one he had written Asuka's little rendevouz on. His eyes moved back to the empty text screen. His mind moved to Rei.
Maybe, Shinji thought, trying to fight fatigue, Maybe I should....like..... He yawned. Put Rei at rest. What!? He panicked. No, that doesn't sound right. I mean....she seemed....I don't know....restless, or something, when she came into my room and saw the letter. And she was all happy-like, or something like it, when I told her she was special.... His eyelids drooped, but he refused to let them close. Maybe...maybe I should just write her a poem too. A 'friendly' poem. Friend to friend. Nothing like Asuka's letters. No, nothing like hers. If I did that....if I wrote a love letter to Rei—who knows how this whole triangle will end up?
Satisfied with his decision, he began to type away.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
After a day of sleeping, poetry, taking notes, learning, cursing, stealing very subtle 'ugly' glances at 'Second', being 'jealous' of Hikari, and figuring out how to deliver imaginary letters to imaginary lockers, lunchtime came.
Sensei dismissed the class and everyone ran for the door as if there was a bomb in the classroom due to explode any minute. Shinji was half-asleep at his desk, waiting for Rei's poem to print in the corner of the classroom. Asuka was dragging her feet around the room, obviously in a daze thinking about something, and Rei was getting out her obento (lunchbox) and exiting the room.
"Ikari; Second. Are you planning to eat lunch?"
Asuka shot her very famous Death Glare and scowled. "No," She said. "I'm going to wait for Mrs. Lovesick to finish her class rep duties so we can have a discussion about something that bothers me, if Mrs. Lovesick is willing." She released her evil glare and rapped on the door of the teacher's closet.
"HIKARI, GET YOUR ASS MOVING!"
Rei heard shocked silence, then a startled gasp and a couple of defenses in Asuka's name from Hikari. She tsked softly.
Such an arrogant girl.
"Are you planning to eat, Ikari-kun?" Rei asked, turning to Shinji, who was getting up to take Rei's poem out of the printer.
He grunted. "Later." Then he remembered the purpose of the tree he was wasting (the paper). "Uh, well, I will, Rei, I'll catch up later...just go on without me, ok?" He tried to smile.
Her eyes lit up back to him. "Alright."
Then she was gone.
Shinji watched the blue-haired girl quietly slip out of the room and join the rest of the hordes for lunch. He did a silent joy dance in his head, then sharply turned back to the red-head, who was looking at an imaginary watch on her wrist and tapping her foot impatiently.
Shinji stared at her as if to send brain waves saying, Leaveleaveleaveleaveleaveleaveleaveleave. Please leave. Pleeeaaaseee.....
Unfortunately, brain waves were not an option in Shinji's case. He was either a) too tired, b) brain-wave drained by Dr. Akagi, or c) incapable of telepathy.
(It is most likely c, but hey, with Dr. Akagi, who knows what goes on with the doors closed.)
Finally, as Shinji sat practically rubbing the ink off the poems with his sweaty hands, and Asuka was going to take her foot and just break the door down, Hikari opened the door, bowed to the sensei, and turned to Asuka.
"Let's go. Sorry I took long," She said, trying to ignore the pained look on Asuka's face. Asuka growled.
"Sure, whatever...."
The two walked out of the door, leaving Shinji and the sensei alone. Shinji looked at the shoe lockers. They were less than a meter away from him. He turned to the sensei, who was checking papers and/or reading a dirty novel.
A dirty novel?
Shinji shook his head and slipped the letters into envelopes: red for Asuka, blue for Rei. He wrote their names on the outside as illegibly as possible and then checked to make sure no one was around.
Luckily all was quiet. The sensei was busy checking papers and/or reading. The birds weren't even chirping their usual sickly sweet song. The chatter of noisy children was gone, banished to the cafeteria and outside. There was no sound in the classroom....all was quiet.
Shinji, rather than stick poems into lockers, wanted to savor this moment. Quiet moments were very rare in Shinji's life. Of course, he had quiet moments that lasted a few minutes, but they were stabbed by panicked thoughts, or awkward silences, or tension. No, this moment had an aura that the others did not: one of peace.
But Shinji knew that his 'duty' was to deliver those poems. It would be nice, coming home, seeing Asuka raving about the poem, asking Shinji questions about boys and then saying he was stupid and what did he know about them anyway, as he was probably gay. And Rei. It would be interesting to see her reaction to the poem he had written to her.
I hope she knows it's not a love poem, Shinji fretted. I mean, God knows I'd love to write one to her, but Asuka would catch on, she always does, and then...and then there'd be....trouble...
He shuddered at the thought of Asuka pouncing on Rei about who had sent her the letter, and then them getting into a nasty fight, (a catfight between those two would be nice to watch, Shinji thought wistfully, then shook his head) and he knew that somehow he would get involved in it, and then they'd find out, and then....
Shinji refused to think about it, instead focusing on sticking the envelopes into the ¾ inch thick slot on the shoe locker that was not meant for mail anyway. After a few minutes of pushing and prodding, he stepped back into the classroom, officially spent and done with his duty.
It was then he noticed that his stomach was growling hungrily and there were only fifteen minutes left in lunch. Whistling a lazy tune, he stepped out of the classroom and out into the courtyard.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Meanwhile, Hikari and Asuka were eating lunch on the roof with Rei not too far off (not that either of them noticed). Hikari daintily picked up her chopsticks and elegantly picked up a rolled omelet. She took the tiniest bite out of it and then put it back down gently into her lunchbox.
Asuka stared at her like she was crazy. While she was stuffing octopus- shaped sausages into her mouth, here was Hikari, taking fifty million bites out of a rolled omelet that should only take five bites to consume. She cleared her throat.
Hikari looked up and smiled. "Something wrong, Asuka?"
"Erm....no..." She smirked. "I'd just like to know, are you taking finishing lessons? What's up with the tiny bites and all the adjectives, like 'daintily' and 'elegantly'? Oh," She said, with a rush of inspiration, "Are you practicing for the housewife role?"
Hikari blushed. Ha! Asuka smiled. I got her! "N-no. Of course not! I....I'm only fifteen....how could I get married so young? I'm just doing it because I'm in a good mood. I eat like this when I'm in a good mood. Haven't you noticed? I'm such a perfectionist when I'm in a good mood. Haven't you noticed, Asuka? After all, we've been hanging together for a long time...haven't you....noticed?" She twitched crookedly and forced a smile.
"Well," Asuka said drily, "I've noticed that when you're nervous or when you're supposedly lying then you start to talk a lot. You start repeating things over and over again....it's quite annoying." She raised an eyebrow at Hikari. "Right?"
Hikari was bright red. "I...I've never noticed! How can you prove it!?"
"Oh, dammit, Hikari, just 'fess up!" Asuka was getting mad now; her temper, for some reason, seemed to be on the rise higher than it usually was. "You're just acting all friggin' ladylike because of that dork!"
"He is NOT a dork!!!" Hikari fumed. "And that is NOT the reason! It is not the reason! Why would that be the reason? I've always acted this way. That is not, that is so not, the, the erm, the reason!" She stuttered.
"There you go again! Listen to you, stuttering and repeating the same thing twenty times in a sentence. God, Hikari! Why can't you just tell the damn truth!? Are you ashamed of Touji or what!? Why can't you just tell me!?"
Hikari's mouth dropped open. "How dare you say that! I am NOT ashamed of him! You're just jealous, Asuka, because you don't have a boyfriend and you're all lonely with only your letters to keep you company!"
Asuka stepped back as if she had been slapped and Hikari immediately realized her mistake. She brought a hand to her mouth and looked down. "Oh, Asuka, I didn't mean that...I--"
Asuka shot Hikari a cold glare. "No, don't say you're sorry. I mean, you probably think you know everything, right, Hikari? Because now you have a boyfriend and everything. Yeah, ok, I get it." She stood there, watching Hikari shake her head vigorously, but nonetheless she ignored it. "I guess your friends aren't good enough for you now that you're taken and everything. Well, I guess I should just leave you, you know, I'll just go chill with my letters from now on," She snapped, turning around on her heel and stomping back into the school building. "Good-bye, Hikari, I hope you enjoy your life with loverdork."
As Asuka was leaving and Hikari was trying to get her back, Rei was sitting in the corner, sitting comfortably nestled in the crook of the perpendicular fences. She had just finished the rest of her rice when the 'spat' started.
I wonder how Second feels, Rei thought, sliding her chopsticks into her mouth and chewing slowly. She turned towards Hikari, who was leaning against the railing with her head in her hands, sobbing quietly, all lunch forgotten. If Rei was anything like normal, she would have walked over to Hikari, comforted her, and told her that Asuka was nothing but a stubborn....something, but Rei thought it was her duty to leave Hikari and Asuka's little bicker alone. Silently she packed up her lunch and walked back down the stairs to the classroom, leaving behind Hikari's crying and walking towards Asuka's wrath of major destruction.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
"Hey, Touji, so I see you have a girlfriend now."
Kensuke had put down his military magazine and was looking at Touji through his glasses, smiling slyly. At the sound of the word 'girlfriend' Shinji looked up from his own sandwich and stared at Touji was well.
Touji, however, was stuffing his face with olives as he turned back to Kensuke. "No....really, you think so?" Rolling his eyes, he threw five more olives into his mouth, chewing loudly, olive juice dripping off his chin. Slightly disgusted, Shinji looked away.
I wonder, if the class rep saw him now, what she'd think of him, he smirked.
"Don't be sarcastic, Touji," Kensuke said seriously, adjusting his glasses. "Do you know what this means?"
For an approximate second Touji looked away from his olives and gave the question some thinking. Then he broke into a wide, olive-speckled grin (Shinji looked away again) and said,
"I know. It means I get to have someone to make out with."
Shinji almost fell forward onto the table much like he had fallen forward while teaching Rei how to make spaghetti, but this time he held calm. Instead he thought that if the class rep really was here, Touji would be dead, gone, fin.
Kensuke shook his head vigorously. "No, no. It means that you have passed the ranks of the small men. It means that now, Touji Suzuhara, you have become among the ranks of what we like to call......The Big Men." There was a dramatic pause in which Kensuke looked around, expecting to see shocked faces, but (as usual) he was disappointed. "Anyway....no longer do you have nothing to do on Friday nights like the rest of us--" At this he motioned to himself and Shinji, who frowned. "--but instead, while we are at home fantasizing about our own empty love lives, you will be out, taking the class rep to dinner, maybe seeing a movie, and then the next day, you will brag about it to us. That, my man," Kensuke said, slapping Touji on the back, "Is what the Big Men do."
Touji ate another olive, chewing sloppily. "Hmmm. Really? You know, Kensuke, I wasn't planning on talking about what Hikari and I do on dates or whatever, but you've convinced me that I can now." He slapped Kensuke on the back as well. "I mean, since you've made it clear that you don't mind or whatever. Right Shinji?"
Shinji just stared at Touji and the olive juice on his face. He sighed and shrugged.
"I really don't care, but--"
He was planning to say "--but maybe before you go out with the class rep you could learn some manners," but before he could say anything, a strong gust of wind flew by their table, causing Shinji's sandwich wrapper to slam him in the face and some olives to fly out of the jar Touji was holding.
The gust of wind was accompanied by a string of cuss words, some harsh-sounding German words and a swish of red hair that could give any person walking by a couple of nasty cuts. The words and the hair were then accompanied by a "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY YOU LOW-LIFES!!!!!" and then someone screaming in pain. Shinji peeled the sandwich wrapper off his face and turned to Touji and Kensuke.
"What--what was that!?" He said, sputtering, peeling the wrapper off his face. "It was weird. Just a big gush of wind. It's not windy, is it?"
Touji stuck his finger in his mouth and held it up in the air, earning (more) stares from his peers. "Nah. It's not windy. Not even a breeze."
Kensuke frowned, straightening his glasses, which had flown askew. "Well, then what was it....?"
The three thought in oblivious silence until a rather...familiar voice caught their attention.
"ANTA BAKA?! I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!!!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! BECAUSE WHEN ASUKA LANGELY SOHRYU TELLS YOU TO GET OUT OF THE WAY, THAT'S WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!! SCHEISSE! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO AROUND HERE FOR SOME SCRAP OF INTELLIGENCE!?"
The harsh words were then followed by another painful scream, and then some more crude German. Shinji paled. No. No! It's not....it can't be....oh god. Why didn't I recognize this from the beggining? He grimaced. I must be getting senile.
"Guys," Shinji said weakly, turning to Kensuke and Touji. "Um. You know. It'd be best if we--"
All three of them seemed to have the same thought as they all stood up in unison and began to run away, that is, until a voice sat them back down.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIII!!!! THREE STOOGES!!!! I SEE YOU!!!! SIT BACK DOWN!!!!"
All three boys turned to each other and Touji scowled. "Oh shit, Devil Woman's gonna kill us."
"But what did we doooo?" Kensuke whined. "We stayed out of her way during lunch! We couldn't have done anything!" He rounded on Touji. "Touji! You were fighting with her again, weren't you!?"
Touji held his hands up in innocence. "No way, man! Shinji must've pissed her off or something! Did you forget to make her lunch again!? Did you find her in the shower or something!? Well?"
Both of them turned to Shinji.
He gulped and shook his head. "Maybe....maybe it's not us." Asuka will pick any random person to yell at, even if it wasn't their fault for whatever's making her angry....believe me, I should know, he thought, taking this time to relieve some rather painful memories.Asuka stomped over to the table and frowned (or bared her killer incisors, which were dripping with blood, as Kensuke and Shinji imagined.) "None of you guys better piss me off even more than I am already, because as you may have heard, I am not giving away free bottles of pity."
Touji smirked. "What's up, oni-onna? Did some guy reject you? Are you having a bad hair day? Or...." He gasped dramatically. "....did somebody dare to stare at the so-called Great Sohryu Asuka Langley?"
Shinji averted his eyes from Asuka's fist, which had Touji written all over it. Instead, he thought of the real answers to Touji's accusations: No guy would ever reject Asuka unless he already had a girlfriend, and he was a good guy enough to realize that love is always better than lust. Asuka never had bad hair days, ever, because she always had the same hairstyle and her hair was practically molded into that shape. And thirdly, if somebody stared at 'the Great Sohryu Asuka Langley', it would entirely depend on who, because if Shinji stared at her, he would get a slap and a 'hentai' and if Hikari stared at her Asuka would worriedly ask if there was something on her face.
However, instead of punching Touji out, Asuka sighed and plopped down next to Shinji. "No, idiot, it's neither. I'd tell you but I'm afraid it'd be too intense for your small, dyslexic brain," She said flatly. "Well actually, on second thought, I wouldn't tell you, even if your brain was bigger than my pupil."
Touji turned away, obviously miffed. "Whatever," He mumbled.
Shinji took this opening to speak up. "Well....Asuka...whatever is bothering you.....if you don't want to tell us....then....why are you here?"
Bad move, Shinji. Bad move.
"What do you mean, why am I here!?" Asuka glared at him, practically burning a hole in his eyes. If you were the sort of person that could read people's ki, then you would have noticed that at that moment Asuka's ki brutally forced itself through the stratosphere and rocketed on.
She stood up and slammed her hand on the table, dangerously near Shinji, who jumped. "Look, Third, if you don't want me here then you should have said so a long time ago. I come here looking for some solace and this is what I get!? Maybe if you'd have done something to make me feel better I would have told you what was fricking bothering me at home. But I guess you don't want me there either, right?" Asuka was beggining to get tired. Lashing out at people was not all easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, and her voice was getting hoarse. She rubbed her throat, trying to rid the scratchy sensations acquired from yelling too much. "Well, I'll be leaving, since you seem so eager for me to go."
With that, she pivoted on her foot and quickly walked away.
Shinji felt like punching something. Why does it always end up like this!? He thought angrily. I try to say something right, hoping she'll respond in a way that does not feel like someone is slapping me across the face, but no, this is what I get. Shit! He groaned, slumping forward onto the table. Dammit, Asuka! You make loving you so damn hard! Why can't you act normal for once!?
Kensuke raised his arm and patted Shinji on the back and spoke for the first time since Asuka had invaded the area. "Eh, Shinji, it's ok. You know she didn't mean it. She's like that."
"Yeah, Devil Woman'll say anything. I bet it's just that time of the month. Tomorrow she'll be in her usual mood, you know, half-agreeable, half-bitchy. Don't worry about it, she does this to me all the time," Touji added.
Shinji nodded numbly, even though the two did not come close to his reason for slamming himself on the table. He did not feel bad about Asuka's screaming at him (ok, he did, but who wouldn't? Ok, Touji, but....). He was used to her actions, her curses, her insults. The day to him would not be normal if he hadn't been called 'baka' once. The reason he was so aggravated was because loving somebody was not as easy as it looked....especially if that somebody was Asuka. Had he thought it looked easy in the beggining? Well, maybe. But as he dreaded each passing minute until he arrived home, he realized that love was not easy, at least, not love in the face of that hot-tempered German girl.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
After lunch, it was back to classes and hearing non-stop about the Second Impact and life after it. Shinji slammed his keyboard with his fingers, cursing underneath his breath, slamming the mouse with his index finger in a homicidal fashion. Asuka was doing the same, although under her fingers, the Enter key on her laptop had almost turned into an Ent key and an er key and the pad of her fingertip was burning a hole through the mouse. Both of them ignored the instant messages streaming into their screens: Shinji typing an apologetic "Sorry, I don't want to talk right now" and Asuka furiously clicking the x on the half-boxes.
Meanwhile, anyone who happened to glance over at Hikari would notice that her eyes were red and she was sniffing, although she was trying to hide it. After Asuka had left, she had cried uncontrollably. Asuka was her friend--her best friend, practically. Of course, everyone in the class knew her, she was the class rep, after all, but they were just being friendly--no one could really have a good time after school with Hikari except for her closest friends, one being Asuka. And now, Asuka was mad at her. Hikari sniffled again. But I do deserve it, she thought glumly. I shouldn't have touched the subject of her letters. I know she really believes that she loves whoeever wrote them...and....I have faith in her to find out who it is...but....she was just making me mad....about Touji. She didn't have any right to say those things about Touji, either.....
At the 'mention' of his name Touji looked up. Maybe it was the strong, platonic red string that connected him to Hikari (see notes at end of chapter) or maybe it was his bond with the girl that made him notice something other than the fly on his laptop.....or maybe it was because Hikari sneezed quite violently just then, and frankly he wasn't the only one who looked in her direction.
Concerned of her health and bored out of his mind with Second Impact lectures, Touji sent her an instant message of authentic boyfriend sympathy.
S055: Hey, Hikari. Some loogie. You ok?
Hikari looked away from her classmates, embarassed at her little sniffle and stared at the message on her screen. Some loogie? She frowned. Err.....Touji has to increase his vocabulary. But, she added to herself, smiling, it's nice he cares.
H2201: Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little dust in the air....
S055: You sure? Coz....you know....dust never gave me that big of a sneeze.
Hikari's brow tightened. She hadn't originally planned on telling him about the fight, and she'd avoided showing any signs of discomfort when she'd entered the classroom. But....how could she lie? You couldn't be a good class representative and lie, that was for sure. And besides, he was her boyfriend....he cared about her.
H2201: Well, actually, it wasn't dust......
S055: Are you sick? Because, you know, you shouldn't be here if you are. You'll get sicker....
A smile stretched across her face. Yeah, he really does care.
S055: And y'know that no one wants all that crap on their stuff, Hikari.
A grimace replaced her smile. ....Well, he cares in his own way.
H2201: No, ok, I'll tell you.....just promise not to let it go around....
S055: Sure. Like I would tell.
H2201: It's Asuka....
Across the room she saw his fist clench by his side. She hurriedly continued to type out the rest.
H2201: No, no, Touji, it's not like that. I mean, we had a little fight.....well, it didn't start out as a fight. Asuka asked about you.....
S055: About me?
H2201: Yeah. And....she asked me if I was, uh, well, we kinda got into this whole fight, about me acting ladylike because of you--
S055: Ladylike?
H2201: Yeah, it's a long story. Anyway, then I kept denying it, and then Asuka said, 'Why don't you just tell me? Are you ashamed of him?' And that's when I got mad, and I said 'No, I am not ashamed of him and you're just jealous....'
She decided not to include the part about the letters. Touji probably didn't know about them, and it would just make things complicated she had to explain about them, and if Asuka ever found out she'd be in even more trouble than she was now.
S055: So....Asuka's jealous.
H2201: I don't know, but it really seems that way. And then she got mad, and you know how Asuka is.....
Touji bleakly chose this point to remember the lunch scenario.
S055: Yeah....I know.
H2201: So....we're kind of....not speaking right now. And I know I made a big mistake. Accusing her of being jealous. Asuka's just.....hard to....you know....get out of trouble with.
S055: Yeah. I know what you're saying. But I think you should make up with her.
Hikari raised an eyebrow.
H2201: You make it sound so easy, Touji.
S055: I know. But it's not, huh? But you guys are always together. Everyone can tell you're great friends. And if you guys just, you know, split apart, it wouldn't be the same. Asuka'd be....different. You'd be different, too.
H2201: Yeah.....I know. She's like my best friend. It's hard, without her wild side to keep me in check.
S055: Wild side? That's the only side she's got.
Feeling better, Hikari giggled. It was nice talking to Touji, knowing he cared so much about her to help her with her own problems. She decided that Asuka's being jealous was nothing to be mad about anyway. If she had a boyfriend and I didn't, Hikari mused, I know I'd be really jealous too. I hope she forgives me, because I'm ready to forgive her....She smiled again at the thought of her boyfriend. Thank you, Touji.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Finally, as sensei was rambling to his class' last nerve, the school bell rang. It was a mess for sweaters and jackets and notebooks and pencil cases as the students rushed to their afternoon appointments. It had to be noted that Asuka and Hikari promptly avoided each other; Hikari still a little uncomfortable around her 'friend' and scheming up a way to make up, Asuka still fuming about the fight. Shinji left with Kensuke, wistfully staring after Touji and Hikari who walked off in the opposite direction, hands clasped together.
"Aren't you glad you aren't him?" Kensuke said as he pushed open the door. "You've still got me and the freedom of singletondom. I say we go to my house and play some video games."
Shinji smiled numbly, not agreeing nor disagreeing. his eyes still fixated on the spot where said boyfriend and girlfriend were walking off. Actually, it's more like I wish I was him.
As the classroom emptied out, a lone figure stood in the locker room, gathering her things slowly and sluggishly. There was no care in her actions, however. Her school shoes were thrown quite agressively back into the small compartment and her outside shoes were not slipped on but shoved on. Her bag was slung with unessescary violence over her shoulder, and she was about to step out of the classroom when a glint of red caught her eye.
Leaning closer in towards the object, her heart started to race. Was it....him? It? Them? Her anonymous? Had he sent her another poem, finally, finally, finally? She tried to keep her hopes down, just in case it was nothing more than a discarded scrap of paper or an F paper. But....
....no. It was unmistakable. It was an envelope.
Asuka would have squealed with delight but instead she kept quiet: there were always students lurking around after hours and she didn't want anyone to see what she was so happy about. Instead, she picked it up, her fingers trembling slightly, and lifted the flap.
A small piece of paper fell out, the kanji on it written like Asuka's own except a bit more legible. She tried to calm herself down as her eyes read the words he'd penned to her, hopefully with love, but if not that, then thought.
To Asuka:
....Ihre Augen, warm, blau, schön.
your lips slightly parted,
(i could stare into that open space forever)
sweet balls of moisture hanging off your brow
(i could paint a picture of you with my eyes closed)
your blue eyes pooled into a sea of
exploration,
(that i have dived into)
the curve of your nose that i could sensually
slide off of
(are you getting me here?)
your smooth complexion,
that if it were milk would slide down my throat so
slippery
and that's just your
face
--me
Asuka blinked obliviously at the words spread in front of her face. "To Asuka, your eyes....warm, blue, beautiful," She read. She skimmed over the letter again, disbelieving what this 'me' person was saying about her. Damn, she couldn't be this beautiful. Out of instinct she touched her face as she re-read every word. Her lips, her forehead (Am I always this sweaty!? She thought, frantically wiping her brow), her eyes (my eyes aren't warm....or beautiful....are they?) Her nose (my nose is sensual?!?, her cheeks (wow, then I guess that moisturizer is working if he thinks my complexion is perfect....)
And then the last words: 'And that's just your face'.
What if he had written about her body? She felt a hotness creep up to her cheeks. Errggh....damn! What is he doing to me? He's making me weakAsuka frowned. If she ever found out who this person was, she would never be able to act herself around him. She'd always be weak-kneed, meek, afraid, in need of protection.
"I'm not like that," She mumbled to herself as she carefully re-folded the letter and tucked it into her bag. "I'm strong. I can protect myself."
But his words were so sweet, and so loving, and so.....different. No one spoke to her like that during the course of her normal days. She was sure that boys had written poems to her, but they couldn't come close to his standards, at least, of those that she'd read. They were too fake, and so uncreative--most of them started with 'roses are red...'
Oh, but his words. His words. If he could make beautiful poetry like that, then how was he in real life? Was he like Kaji? Strong, tall, handsome? Was he a poet? The kinds of poets that you'd always see in television--skinny, pale, thin-lipped, always dressed in black? Or was he....normal? Like....Shinji, for instance?
Asuka stopped in her tracks. Shinji!? Why am I thinking about that baka!? She shook her head and walked faster, making her way out of the building. Ugh, he's making me think too much. I've dug so much into my mind I've come across Third. That's just sick....
Then the anonymous poet's words came back to her. 'I could paint a picture of you with my eyes closed.' Could he? More importantly, would he? Would this picture be flawless? Beautiful? Actually holding a resemblance to the real Asuka? Or would it be fake? Too beautiful? Too flawless? Goddess-like?
Asuka stopped again, this time out of embarassment. She realized that she'd been mumbling, walking around in a daze of sorts, thinking about Mr. Me. But really....what was he like in real life? She shook her head again, pulling at her pigtails and scowling, that damn blush crawling onto her cheeks again.
"I'm not that beautiful," She mumbled angrily, a trace of wishful thinking and hope disappearing behind her poison-laced words.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
It has to be said that Rei Ayanami is a girl of stealth.
As we know, she had slipped into the locker room when Touji and Hikari were sorting out their little confession without any of the two noticing. She had crept around the Katsuragi household without anyone taking a second glance until she found herself in Shinji's room. And, my friends, I know that without a doubt that you all know where Rei Ayanami was while that redheaded hot-tempered vixen had her own little think-o-rama.
Yes, she was in the corner of the hallway, angled just enough to see into the room and to see Asuka reading the letter. Her anger (or lack thereof, as seen on her face) had risen to a boiling point.
Second! She thought to herself as she slipped on her outdoor shoes. Why does she get letters from Ikari-kun? She is not special. She is rude. Mean. She has no decency. She does not deserve the thoughts that come from Ikari-kun's head. Silent ki rushed from her system, elicting a strange aura around her. Ikari-kun said that I was special. He said he was writing to a special person. I would have at least thought....sighing, she slumped against the wall of the locker room. I would have at least thought I would have gotten one as well.
Her angry ki evaporated as she become her normal self again, but she still couldn't help thinking why she didn't get one. It does not make sense. He was writing to someone special, she thought, reenacting the scene from his bedroom into her mind:
"This is to...a...a special person," He managed to say with a straight face. "Someone very special."
"Ikari-kun, could you inform me of something? She asked, a hint of bitterness in her voice, but so little that Shinji did not notice at all.....
"Would you tell me...am I..." Rei straightened herself up. "Am I special?"
"Of...of course you're special, Rei. Yes, of course you are."
A special person. Rei sighed. Ikari-kun is very complicated....he could have just said it was not me. I would not have been angry....
...no, I would have been. But he did not have to lie to me like that.
Of course, Rei did not realize that most people did not know she was angry when she really was. In fact, they didn't know when Rei was sad, or happy, or annoyed, or....well....any emotion, really. So of course Shinji didn't tell her--he didn't know how she'd react; if she'd be mad, or alright with it.
She was about to step out of the room and into the fresh air but noticed that her shoe locker was still open. Frowning, she pushed the door on the locker but it did not shut. She tried a second time, pushing harder, but still the door resisted.
After some more tries Rei found the problem: there was a piece of paper that was jammed in between the door and the lock. This is not right, Rei thought. Why is there a piece of paper in my shoe locker? Paper does not belong there. This is strange....
Moreover, to Rei's surprise, the paper was fashioned into the shape of an envelope and it was not white, but blue. Rei pulled out the envelope of the concave space as carefully as she could and examined it.
The back had her first and last name on it, though the kanji was quite messy and looked even worse than Asuka's. The envelope was not fastened all the way and Rei could see a bit of white paper sticking out under the flap.
Having an ample amount of curiousty and wondering why the heck there was an envelope, of all things, in her shoe locker, she unstuck the flap and pulled out the piece of paper.
to rei:
were you expecting this?
she stands there, untelling
her mouth closed, her eyes unfocused
she won't tell me what she's thinking
she won't tell anyone
you'll try to talk to her, she'll stare
no answer, a blank expression
you'll catch her staring out the window
an hour later, she hasn't moved
she intrigues me, somehow,
i could talk to her blank stare for hours
and when i've left
she'll still be staring out the window, but
one eye'll be on me, inviting me to
come talk to her stare again
from, shinji
Rei stared at the paper. The four words at the top--'Were you expecting this?' were staring back at her, screaming "Well? You were expecting it! He wrote you! He wrote you a poem! Now try to figure it out, darling, read between the lines, is this a friendly note or a love letter?"
Like any person, Rei was caught between the choices--is this just friendship? Or is this poem suggesting a hint of romance? Truth be told, at first glance, it would look like a love poem. All the mentions of staring, of talking, of noticing--and then that certain line--'she intrigues me, somehow'--it seemed so obviously a love poem.
But was it? It could be a friendship poem. After all, you wouldn't talk to the person you loved for hours--you'd be too tongue-tied to talk, too red in the face to act. The intriguing line could mean a whole other kind of intrigue...the kind of intrigue of an interesting, potential friend, perhaps? Determined not to jump to conclusions like most of her peers did, Rei read and re-read the poem again, standing in that same spot, trying to find the hidden meaning.
Ah, but if Shinji was there, he would have confessed he was not good at friendship poems; love poems were his thing. Wasn't friendship the first step to love, after all? Shinji felt it neccessary to skip the first step and go right into the love. Nobody could tell his friendship poems from his love ones; they seemed so alike. And yet if you were clever enough; knew his poems enough; you'd know the difference, you'd catch the genre quite well....
But Rei did not know any of Shinji's poems besides that one; and Shinji was not there in the room to tell her. But he had written to her. He had kept that 'silent promise' made in his bedroom that night. Wasn't that proof enough, Rei thought? Wasn't the fact that he had kept that kind-of promise and written her a poem at least have some notation that he was intrigued with her? She didn't know. She didn't want to know. All she wanted to know, all she wanted to believe, that Shinji did love her. The promise. He'd kept it. He'd said she was special. He didn't turn her away when she slept over at his house...
As Rei turned on her heel to leave the school building, the letter still clutched tightly in her hand, the back of her mind screamed, "Rei! Don't you think you should think this through a little more?" But for once, Rei decided that the back of her mind could just shut up. What mattered was the front of her mind. The instinctive part. The believer.
The doors swung fiercely behind her as Rei exited the building; the cold air whipped her face, stinging her eyeballs, cutting her cheeks. But she bared the winds. She had a lead on this case; after all.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
End Note: Right. Okay. I know you're out to kill me. But hear me out first!!! Honestly! Well, let me clarify some things first:
red-string thing: yeah, okay, i remember the name of it now--it's akai-ito. Basically it's just a Japanese saying, that when you love somebody, you and that person have a red 'string' connecting both of your hearts.
oni-onna: devil woman, japanese, obviously.
Great. Okay. Now, you're going to kill me. And I know if I list the millions of reasons why this chapter took so long, and if I put 'I'm Sorry' five squillion times, it wouldn't help. So I'll just say one reason, and one sorry: I was in California for a week, with no Internet access at all except one time for ten minutes, and I'M SORRY!!! Yup! I went to Cali! I went to San Francisco, which I loved, and Sacramento, and Napa Valley, and Sonoma, and Carmel, and Monterey....is that how you spell it? XD Anyway, I really am sorry. Really, really. I have a new fanfiction prey, too: Harry Potter. (insane grin) So watch out.
And now for some advertising. I have my own domain. (excited squeal) It's sugardaisy-dot-net. No, not like that--replace the dot, of course, and add "www". It's just that it won't show otherwise. XD Of course, not everything is up yet. Haha.
Love ya.