Author Note: Chapter 8! Finally! I really thought I might never get here! I'd just like to say a huge thank you to all of my reviewers. It truly means a lot to me that you take the time to read my work and it really encourages me to continue it. Thank you so much to all of you.

Disclaimer: Nope, the Marauders still haven't fallen into my capable hands… dammit.

If at first you don't succeed….

Sirius flopped onto his bed in the Gryffindor Boys Dormitory and stared at the ceiling. He hadn't thought going back to Charms was a good idea; he didn't want to cause more havoc than necessary. This was a first for Sirius Black.

He rolled onto his side and stared out of the window. It was a pleasant day and he could see the first years out on their broomsticks learning to fly. Some of them were really, well, bad. They didn't seem to know one end of the broomstick from the other, and also seemed to have no sense of how to make a broom stop, which one particular Hufflepuff demonstrated when he flew slap-bang into Sirius' Dormitory window.

Sirius chuckled to himself and walked over to have a look at the impending havoc. He knew he had once been a novice too, but that really took the biscuit. He was quite an impressive flyer now, not as good as James, but then James was a Chaser on the Quidditch team and so should be fairly wise as to how to mount a broom.

Sirius watched as Madam Hooch picked up the small Hufflepuff Boy and poked him a bit with her wand, apparently giving him an earful. He definitely wouldn't be joining the house Quidditch team anytime soon. But Sirius wasn't really paying attention anymore. Slowly but surely a plan was forming in his tiny mind. Now this time, Dinkerella really wouldn't be able to resist.

At least he hoped she didn't…

"Alright, class dismissed." Professor Enchantment waved in the vague direction of the students in front of him, who had been watching the clock ever since Sirius had disappeared. There was a flurry of parchment and a cacophony of chair scraping as the entire classroom of students lurched towards the door at an alarming speed. All that is except Remus and James, who calmly stood up and gathered their things, walking to the door sedately, Remus bent over slightly due to the nausea that was already churning in his stomach. Barely 24 hours until the moon came up and he was not looking forward to it. He shuffled into the corridor and James glanced at him worriedly. The full moon hadn't affected him this badly for months and he was not keen on the green colour Remus had turned. Apart from anything else it clashed with his robes.

"Remus mate are you sure you're alright?"

Remus looked back at him through unfocused eyes.

"I'll survive," He forced a grin. "I always do."

"Look I think I should take you to Madam Pom-"

"Remus!"

James and Remus turned around to see the Ravenclaw who had passed Remus James' note walking towards them her hips swaying and her hair flying around her face.

"I'll catch you later mate," James winked and patted Remus on the shoulder, disappearing off down the corridor. He grabbed an approaching Peter by the back of the collar and dragged him backwards after himself, ignoring his muffled squeaks of 'What about Remus?'

Remus blinked and silently cursed James. Stupid James and his stupid glasses and his stupid hair and his stupid tongue that worked around girls.

"Remus, hi." As she stopped in front of Remus he instantly recognized her. He couldn't believe he hadn't before… although Sirius still had his glasses and his eyes had been throwing fifty fits trying to focus through out that lesson. She was, of course, that cause of all of his heartache in fifth year, Anastasia Reuben. Ravenclaw and pretty much the female equivalent of Sirius, having earned the status of most desired girl in the school fairly easily, because of her natural beauty, wit, intelligence and all around sexiness. Remus started to wrestle with his tongue.

"H-h-h-hi?" He blushed as he stuttered over the single syllable.

She smiled broadly.

"Hey, I was just thinking. You do Arithmancy don't you?"

Remus nodded. It was safer.

"Well, I've always been interested in it, and I was wondering if it might be possible for you to tutor me a little?" She smiled coyly and leant forward to brush a bit of 'lint' of his shirt.

Remus blinked and stared at the spot where she had touched him.

"So is that okay?"

Remus looked at her blankly.

"The tutoring?"

"Uh yeah. I mean yes! Sure!" Remus blurted, amazed at how well his tongue was suddenly working. Far too well in fact.

"Great! Well, I'll meet you in the library tomorrow at about 7.30 then?"

"Yes! Okay!" Remus kicked himself mentally. "I mean, sure whatever."

"Well, see you later then." She smiled at him and sauntered off down the corridor.

Remus watched her go, before waking up and realizing what a pillock he must look standing in the middle of the corridor gawping at a girl like he had never seen one before. He quickly snapped his mouth shut and spun on his heel, pushing his hair out of his now smiling face and walking briskly to Griffindor Tower. He suddenly didn't feel so sick.

Kara watched from the doorway of the Charms classroom with Dinkerella as Anastasia walked away leaving an ecstatic Remus standing alone in the middle of the corridor. She watched as a look of pure amazement crossed his face and he started back towards Griffindor Tower. She tried to not look too disappointed. She barely even spoke to him. Why should she care?

She was disturbed by Dink adjusting her books in her arms. She was blinking at Kara curiously from behind her rectangular glasses. Kara turned abruptly away.

"I need to go to library. I've got to look up something for Divination. I need to do it by Friday." Kara mumbled quickly.

Dink nodded.

"Okay, I've got to look up some Arithmancy. I'll come with you."
Kara smiled at her gratefully.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"No. No, no, no, no and oh guess what? No." James shook his head firmly and refused to listen to Sirius. "I am not going to help you. You are a pillock and I no longer wish to associate with your sort. Good day to you." He stood up and walked out of the dormitory where he had gone to wait for Remus, and discover whether or not Dumbledore had eaten Sirius alive.

"Bu- but…" Sirius leapt off the bed after him and ran down the stairs after his tall bespectacled best friend. "Please! Prongs! Pleeeeease!"

"No!"

"Why not?"

James turned to Sirius and looked at him in disbelief.

"Because, Padfoot my old chum, it is a stupid idea. Because it is even more hair-brained than all your other schemes squashed together, half-baked and seasoned with idiocy. Any other idea in the world would be better than this one. It won't work."

"Yes, but why?"

James looked ready to throttle Sirius and was beginning to wish Dumbledore was an entirely unreasonable headmaster and had just expelled him after the incident with the stink bombs and the talking mina birds in first year.

"Hello?" Peter called up the staircase, coming round a bend. In his arms he held a two large boxes of doughnuts. "I got these for later, thought they might cheer Remus up."

James started down the stairs towards him.

"Come on Pete."

"What? Where? I just got here!"

"Sirius has a stupid plan and I do not want to be involved. It takes the biscuit."

"What is it?"

"You don't want to know."

James hurried Peter back down the stairs and into the Common Room.

"What is it?" Peter looked back at Sirius as James pushed him towards the portrait hole.

"You do not want to know Peter, trust me. Sirius has finally gone out of his tiny little mind."

Peter remained curious. Sirius going out of his tiny little mind was a daily occurrence.

"What is it this time?"

James said nothing and fixed his eyes stonily ahead.

Sirius opened his mouth, with a sideways glance at James.

"Well-" He turned to focus his full attention on Peter. "I was just asking James to help me with an idea I had to win Dink over and he came over all irrational and-"

"Irrational! You'd be bloody irrational too!" James exploded. He turned to Peter. "He wanted me to pretend to be his boyfriend!"
Peter blinked, looking from one face to the other. He burst out laughing.

"Oh good one guys! You didn't think you'd fool me that easily. Even Sirius isn't stupid enough to think that would work."

Peter was bent double, squashing the doughnuts and howling at the floor.

James tapped his foot, patiently waiting for him to finish.

"No. Peter I am actually serious." James didn't flinch.

"Girls love gay guys." Sirius added. "It might help James with Lily."

"They love them as friends. Even the most disturbed girl realises that if a guy is gay he does not fancy women!"

"Details, details…" Sirius waved his hand.

Peter sat down. Hard. Sirius could tell he was shocked because he dropped the boxes of doughnuts.

"But I thought you liked Lily James."

"I do!" James sounded frustrated.

"Sirius likes Dink."

"Yes, I do. I think…" Sirius was still confused on this matter.

"But now you're gay. I'm not gay… am I? Do I have to be gay too?" Peter was an odd one at the best of times.

"No Peter, no one is gay. You don't have to be gay." James soothed gently.

"But if you are that's fine." Sirius added quickly. "James isn't really homophobic."

"Homo what?" Peter was getting more confused by the minute.

"Nevermind." James helped Peter to his feet and started to drag him towards the portrait hole.

"So Sirius doesn't fancy you?"

"No. Sirius does not." James said, though he still felt troubled. Ever since that incident in the great hall he had wondered…

"No I don't." Sirius confirmed. "Not that James isn't damned foxy at times…"

The portrait hole slammed shut.

'Gah!" James and Peter collided with something solid and moving fast outside the portrait hole.

"Sorry! Sorry!" said the something. It had Remus' voice.

"Where's the fire?" James asked, "You're looking much healthier, what's up?" A look of realisation dawned over his face. "Oh I see. So what did Annie want then?"

Remus tried to look nonchalant.

"Oh you know. Arithmancy tutoring. No big deal."

James and Peter exchanged a look.

"Tutoring…" James began.

"Or tutoring?" Peter finished.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Tutoring. She just wants to know stuff about Arithmancy."

"She doesn't take Arithmancy."

"Of course she does…" Remus stopped. She didn't.

Peter and James looked at each other.

"Tutoring." They nodded their heads in agreement.

Remus shrugged.

"Remus, indulge us. How exactly did she ask you for this… err… tutoring?" James smiled innocently.

"What? Oh. Right. Well she just said 'would you mind tutoring me?' and I… err… said... yes." Remus shrugged.

"And that's it."

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

"Moony…"

"Well she… err… kinda… um… brushed some lint off my shirt?" Remus blushed furiously; sure he was making a mountain out of a molehill.

"Lint?"

"Yes... Oh, look just forget it. I'm sure it was nothing," Remus snapped irritably. Though it was the single reason why he was walking on air and the full moon suddenly seemed like a trivial matter in comparison to Anastasia Reuben's smile.

"No, no wait." James put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "Was it like…" James prodded at Remus front "Or was it like…" James leant forward and brushed his hand lingeringly across Remus' chest, looking up at him through his lashes.

Before Remus had a chance to respond, a voice sprung from over his shoulder.

"Oh so you'll be all touchy-feely with Moony but not me. What's wrong with me, eh, Prongs?" Sirius stuck his head out of the portrait hole a very wounded look on his pretty face.

"Gah!" James stormed off down the corridor.

Sirius jumped out of the Portrait hole and shook his head.

"Okay, what was that about?" Remus asked a distinctly bemused expression crossing his face.

"You don't want to know." Peter cut in before Sirius could say anything. "But anyway. Anastasia. If it was like the second one I'd say-"

"Anastasia Reuben?" Sirius ears perked up, "What's this about Remus and Annie Reuben? She gave me a message for you that night in the dorm… 'Hi Remmie?' Something like that." Sirius shrugged.

Remus stared at him.

"Anyway, as I was saying." Peter looked at Sirius. "If the lint was removed in the fashion of the second demonstration I'd say phew!" Peter opened his eyes really wide.

"What?"

"You're in there mate, or my name's not Mr. Wormtail esq. Marauder extraordinaire." Peter was known to get a little carried away.

"Huh?"

"Look, I do pay a bit of attention to James and Sirius, even if you don't." Peter continued, putting his arm around Remus shoulder and gently turning him to face the fat lady. "And I reckon – Lions rule, Snakes drool – " The portrait swung open. "That you should have a shower, brush your hair a bit…"

The portrait hole swung shut and Sirius was left with a bemused expression on his face. That had to chart up with some of the most bizarre experiences of his life. Peter, giving Remus, advice on girls. He shook his head. His friends where most peculiar at times. Anyone would think that Remus had never had a date before. Of course he had, he was just scared of getting too close. He didn't think they'd accept him. Sirius shook his head, deciding that he'd leave Peter to have his moment of glory.

He started to walk down the corridor in he direction James had disappeared in. He'd have one last shot at convincing him and… Sirius stopped. He looked around himself before sticking his chest out several more inches than was natural, placing his left hand on his hip and strutting down the corridor. He might as well start as he meant to go on…

Author's Note: I keep getting emails asking me about the Pop Tart mentioned so prominently in my title, and I apologies for my lack of a clear answer up until now. It was simply a little bit of word play I was having with Dinkerella's name and the fact that Sirius clearly finds her tasty… So yeah. That's it. I've probably spoilt it for you all now, what with you thinking it had deep, dark hidden meanings… I'm so sorry... I'll just go away and cry now...