Author's Note: I'm a dumbarse, but I just noticed a typo in the last chapter. Anastasia and Remus aren't meant to meet the next day, but the same evening, or it clashes with the full moon... I know, I know, I'm an idiot.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone you have met in the Harry Potter universe. And I think with knowledge you can all rest easy tonight…
Remus Lupin sat on his bed in the Gryffindor dormitories and pretended to listen to Peter giving him advice on clothing and appropriate footwear for his role as 'tutor' that evening. It was beginning to strike Remus how annoying he found it when people made quote marks in the air with their fingers.
"So Moony, if she..."
Remus sighed deeply. If he hadn't been nervous about this whole tutoring thing with Anastasia before, then he definitely was now. Peter had single handedly managed to make Remus doubt everything he knew about girls, Arithmancy and had also managed to convince him that if he acted in a way that was in any shape or form recognizable as Remus Lupin, he was going to become totally unstuck, and all he would be suitable for would be pity dates, real tutoring or alternatively a monastery. He did not know how much longer he could put up with this soul destroying 'advice'.
"Moony, what the hell do you call this?" Peter held up Remus' favourite jumper, a soft mustard yellow baggy affair which had absolutely no shape and made Remus look rather like a sack of potatoes. A very comfortable sack of potatoes mind.
"My favourite jumper?"
Peter snorted and chucked it across the room in disgust.
"Hey!"
"Trust me Remus, wear that and there will not be a second date."
"But I wasn't going to wear it!" Remus protested, retrieving it from it's resting place of under Sirius bed. It was covered in dust, hair and little bits of uneaten chocolate frog. Remus brushed it off, before crossing the room back to his own bed, where he stowed it safely under his pillow and then sat on it. If only there were someway that he could distract...
"Oh my gosh! Remus we have to go! Dinner is almost over!" And with that Peter stood up and ran from what had once been Remus' neatly packed trunk, but was now what looked like the site of a large scale nuclear disaster.
Remus smiled, releasing a breath of relief. He stood and arched his back, stretching himself out. He checked that Peter had indeed gone down the stairs that led away from their dormitory then leapt nimbly across Sirius' bed and pulled a small mirror from his bedside draw. He squinted at himself, running a hand over his hair. He looked like he was going to drop dead at any moment. Great. He stowed the mirror back in its home, grimacing and picking up his school bag, which he had filled with Arithmancy textbooks, and slunk out the door after Peter.
Sirius snuck up to the door of his Charms classroom, silently counting himself in.
"A-HA!" Sirius cried, pointing at a very guilty looking… empty room. Sirius arms fell limply to his sides and screwed up his nose. Rats. James really didn't want to pretend to be gay with him. Stepping outside the empty classroom once more, Sirius heaved a deep sigh and leant on the wall. This plan was not going well. So far his newfound sexuality had only managed to scare several first years and caused Peeves to roll around laughing at his new-and-improved tight trousers. It had also provoked a blonde and rather dishy if-you-were-attracted-to-guys seventh year Hufflepuff to push a tiny piece of paper into his hand telling him to meet him on the top of the Astronomy Tower and to come alone… Very perplexing.
He was about to give up his search for James, when two female voices alerted him to the approach of… well, two females.
Hastily straightening up, Sirius launched himself away from the wall and stuck his chest out, holding his head at a jauntier angle. He looked up the corridor and then down it, trying to decide which direction it would be best to head in.
He had barely decided upon this fact when the two voices gained bodies and names. Kara and Dinkerella were making there way down the corridor towards him, deep in conversation. Sirius guessed that they must've been on their way to the library, due to the fact they had their school bags with them which were stuffed with books. The fact that the corridor was a dead end which lead only to the library was also a slight give away.
Sirius didn't have time to decide which way to travel, as he had spent so long pontificating that the two girls had passed him, totally overlooking his presence, and disappeared through the doors of the library. Sirius stood frozen in shock as the door of the library swung shut behind the twosome. He began to stalk angrily sown the corridor, away from the library and towards Gryffindor Tower.
This could only mean one thing after all.
He needed a more impressive cravat.
Remus poked his food nervously around his plate. 7.15, nearly time to go to the library. He hadn't seen Anastasia the whole of the dinnertime and was beginning to wonder where she was. He turned his potatoes over as he nodded absently, totally ignoring everything that Peter was saying to him. He stood up abruptly. He didn't care if Peter thought that he seemed over eager by turning up early, he wanted five minutes on his own to hear his own thoughts. He thought this wise, as he maybe able to remember what his name was if he could just block out the non-stop flow of chatter that his left ear was being assaulted with.
He stepped over the bench on which he was seated, swinging his bag onto his back and starting determinedly for the door of the Great Hall.
"Remus! Where are you going? You don't want to seem too keen Moony!" Peters' voice was muffled with food as Remus exited the Hall. He pretended not to hear him.
Sirius stood before the mirror in the Gryffindor boy's dormitory adjusting his fresh, clean, blood-red and gold cravat, which he fluffed dramatically from his crisp, snow-white and rather frilly shirt. He smiled and ran a comb through his hair. Perfect. And with a final flash of his most ravishing smile in the mirror Sirius spun on his heel and set off the library. Dinkerella look out, Sirius Black is back in town.
However, 'perfect' was not what any other human being with any grasp of fashion would think when they saw him, neither would they think "There goes a dapper and dashing gentleman of ambiguous sexuality gone to woo fair damsel". Oh no. It was far more likely that they would think "Oh My God! McGonagall is going to kill him when she sees what he's done to her net curtains!"
Remus stalked purposefully into the library, crossing the floor swiftly and disappearing in amongst the books. Finally he was by himself. He could breathe. Heaving a sigh of relief, Remus glanced about himself and was both surprised and reassured to find himself in the Defence Against the Dark Arts section of the library. He spent much of his time here, not because he was a bookworm particularly, or especially bright, but because it was a way of escape. By reading about the dark arts and dark creatures, Remus felt that he was not giving into the enchantment that was upon his blood, that if he could somehow absorb this knowledge and help others to understand it and know how to use it, he could prevent others from a fate such as his. Prevent them from feeling themselves fall away as the dark creature took up its grip.
Remus had never explained this to Peter, James or Sirius. He knew they would tease him, not from cruelty, but because they couldn't understand how it felt to be locked away within yourself while some other consciousness took hold of what was once your body and bayed at the windows for the blood of your friends, your family… but never for that of your own kind. He knew they would tell him he was stupid to think this, but he didn't think it. He knew it. He wasn't their kind any more. He wasn't the same kind as James or Peter or Sirius, as anyone in this school or in his family. But he felt the presence of those like him in the forests, in the still of the night. He heard them, their calls making the hair on the back of his neck stand up and his skin tingle. And the part that scared him most was that part of him deep inside wanted to answer them. And that made him more afraid than anything else he knew of.
"Remus!"
A voice shattered Remus' thoughts as he thumbed the well-worn pages of a book on lycanthrope. He jumped slightly, dropping the book. It landed at Anastasia's feet, having fallen open at a page depicting a man in his changed state. Saliva was running down his chin and dripping onto his front paw as he stood, an unhinged glint in his eye, as he looked straight out of the page at Remus, accusingly. Annie smiled at him.
"I didn't mean to make you jump." She bent down to pick up the book and Remus swallowed nervously, flushing a crazy fuscia. She glanced at the page and then handed it back to Remus. She shivered slightly.
"Terrible isn't it?" Her brow furrowed slightly as Remus scrabbled for the book, shoving it back into its place on the shelf.
"Remus? Are you feeling okay?"
"Huh?" Remus stopped dead and took a deep breath, realizing he must look like a complete loon. "Yes, yes I'm fine." He smiled nervously, remembering who he was, who he was talking to and the fact that he was stood in the middle of the Defence Against the Dark Arts section of the library, clutching a satchel full of Arithmancy textbooks, pressed against a book shelf like he was some sort of spy.
"Are you sure?" Annie looked unconvinced.
"Yes," Remus flushed some more. "Shall we begin?"
"Begin?" Anastasia looked flustered.
"Arithmancy tutoring?" Remus said feeling rather stupid.
"Oh right yes." Annie smiled easily and linked her arm through Remus'. "Lead the way Professor Lupin."
Sirius paused outside the library doors. Peering through the glass panel set in the heavy wood, Sirius scanned the room in search of Dinkerella. As luck would have it she was sitting just in front of the doors. Her head was bent over a large heavy leather bound book, her glasses making a break for freedom, practically hanging of the end of her nose. She pushed them up efficiently and turned the page. She was sitting with Kara who was glancing distractedly around the library in a manner that she clearly thought surreptitious. It wasn't. She was jiggling her leg under the table and banging a pencil on top of another large book. Dinkerella glanced at her friend and furrowed her brow, clearly trying to think of something comforting to say. She glanced over towards the door and appeared to focus on Sirius, who turned up the wattage of his smile from radiant to dazzling and waved enthusiastically.
She looked away.
Sirius scowled and let his hand fall limply to his side. That was it. He took a deep breath. That was really it. If his plan didn't work this time he was going to give up, quit. He had more pride than to go chasing after a girl who didn't know he was alive. At least he thought he did… With this final puzzling thought, Sirius pushed open the library doors and entered, pausing for a moment in the doorway for added dramatic effect. Unfortunately for Sirius, he misjudged this moment, and, pausing for a second too long, Sirius indeed ended up the subject of amazed gasps… as the doors knocked him flying.
"Aaaaaaiiiiii!" Sirius connected with the wall on the opposite side of the corridor, landing in an undignified and rather crumpled heap.
Sirius lay there a moment. His cravat had come loose, flapping up over his eyes and he could not see. His shirt was untucked and rumpled. His trousers had split. A first year was standing, staring at his My Little Hippogriff boxer shorts and trying not to laugh. Dinkerella had not noticed.
"Sirius! Sirius! Are you alright?" A concerned voice coming from the direction of the library wafted to his ears and picked him up, setting him back on his feet. He felt it dust him down then finally flap the cravat down out of his eyes, at which point the voice looked at him with concern.
"Do you know your trousers have ripped?" Remus whispered, trying to maintain his look of concern, despite the overwhelming urge to laugh. Anastasia was standing behind Remus with concern and laughter in her eyes.
"Yes."
"Did it hurt?"
"Yes."
"Were you looking for Dinkerella?"
"Yes."
Remus nodded understandingly and patted Sirius consolingly on the shoulder. He shot a look at Anastasia who just smiled and shrugged back.
"Are you going back to the tower?" Remus asked eventually.
"No."
Sirius walked away from Remus and his outstretched hand and past Anastasia. He pushed open the library doors and strode in, letting them slam behind him.
"Shhhh!" Madam Pince spluttered as Sirius stalked across the room, his trouser leg flapping forlornly and his cravat flowing behind him in the breeze caused by his fast trot. He ignored her and continued his stomp until he came to a halt at his destination, Dinkerella's desk. Sirius stopped in front of it, panting slightly and not entirely sure what he was going to say.
He looked at Kara who was more than a little shocked at his disheveled state.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey." Her voice was soft and sad, her eyes flitting to look at a spot just over Sirius' shoulder where Remus hovered uncertainly.
Sirius looked at Dinkerella. He stared at the top of her head until she apparently either became aware of him or Kara kicked her under the table. She put her finger on the page where she had got to and then stuck in a bookmark. She shut the book. She pushed her glasses up her nose and folded her hands across the book. She looked up at Sirius inquisitively. She beamed.
"Hello."
Sirius' eye twitched. He stood there completely stupefied and stared. Dinkerella looked on benignly.
"Hello?" Sirius considered the word. "Hello?"
"Yes. Hello," Dinkerella smiled at him encouragingly, clearly thinking him a little slow.
Sirius did not know why but this one little word had him torn somewhere between hysterical laughter and a wild rage. Instead of submitting to either he pulled out a chair and sat down. He put his head in his hands. Dinkerella blinked at him for a few minutes before shrugging and reopening the book at the marked page. Sirius began to laugh. It was a quiet sound at first, only noticeable after it was realised that his shoulders were shaking and his eyes were also quite dry, but quite gradually it started to crescendo until even Dinkerella noticed it, and replaced her thumb on the page while she stared at him.
"Hello. Hello!" Sirius was muttering to himself now, and Dinkerella was finding it most disconcerting.
"Are you OK?" Dinkerella peered through her glasses at Sirius, and look of worry and interest on her face. Kara was ignoring them both, and staring across at the table where Remus and Anastasia were now seated, Remus deeply engrossed in explaining the importance of Arithmancy in everyday life, gesticulating animatedly, a faraway smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Anastasia was smiling at him, obviously thinking the same thing that Kara was. She wanted him to smile like that when he thought about her. She looked back down at her Divination book and tried to concentrate as Anastasia's laughter drifted over to her.
"I'm fine. Never better. Whatcha reading?" Sirius pulled himself together and managed to wake up enough to realise that he had achieved his goal. He was having a conversation. With Dinkerella. He, Sirius Black, was having a conversation with Dinkerella Pop, a girl who had managed to elude his charms with no sign of recognition longer than any other. He had flown around in the dark with glass shoes and pretended to be gay to get to this moment. He had nearly been clobbered by the entire Ravenclaw Quidditch team. He had asked James to be his boyfriend. He cringed slightly. He became aware that she was answering his question and quickly tuned back in.
"Ancient Runes: They're More Than Just Pretty Pebbles" Dinkerella flipped the book round to allow Sirius to read the title, which was elaborately engraved in silver onto its deep purple cover. Sirius beamed at the book.
"I've never taken Ancient Runes," Sirius ran his hand over the book, taking inspiration from where Anastasia sat, having finally lured Remus away from his teaching and into conversation. Sirius felt he really should have thought of this sooner. The dumb-but-wanting-to-learn track always worked with intellectuals. He glanced up at Dinkerella, who looked shocked that someone could have no knowledge of Ancient Runes. Sirius smiled, "Don't suppose you'd like to teach me a little?"
Author's note: Well I finally did it! Chapter 9! It has only taken me two months. :hides: I'm very sorry! I really didn't plan on leaving it this long, it wasn't intentional, things just get in the way. Anyway, enough of the pitiful excuses I hope this has been worth waiting for. As a peace offering I bring a one shot called Good Riddance though it is slightly depressing…
Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone who has been patient enough to stick with me and this story up until this point, it's been hard going but I really appreciate the support! I'd really appreciate your feedback on this chapter, as always all comments are valued. Thank you so much! :confetti: