Ganymene Ballad: Don't Stop the Music
Well, I don't know why I even bothered to show any sort of emotion towards Spike whatsoever. The man must have had PMS, Post Masculinity Syndrome...Must have been a moment of feminity for him. When he was finally released from the hospital after days and days of blood transfusions he demanded to go back home, where 'home' was Jet and I weren't sure but we had a hard time guarding the X-Raider and the Hammerhead from him...He obviously wanted to go back to where Julia died, but, being me I knew he would try and do something stupid. Spike is mostly himself, the bottomless pit...He is always hungry, as usual...I have to admit though; it is good to have him back...Even if he did steal my candy bars and eat them in front of me.
Jet seems happy that Spike's alright...but he barely speaks to him...he just sits there...grooming those sickly shrubby things...I caught him trying to glue a branch back on to one that he had dismembered 'accidentally'. He's such a dipshit sometimes...Honestly. Doesn't glue kill trees? A question to ponder for another time.
We've been slowly drifting towards Ganymene for a while now...But Jet seems to be procrastinating; I have no idea why. There aren't any bad memories there for him as far as I know. Well, what do I care if all of the food runs out...It's not like we haven't battled starvation before, don't look at me! When I ate that disgusting old food I threw it up so that doesn't count! I remember being so bored...If Ed were here she would liven it up...Probably have a drool contest with anyone who would participate. That would be just like her. But no, she's off somewhere with her crazy father 'bringing order' back to the Earth. The next order of business has to be getting her and Ein to come back...Without them it's too quiet here. Too quiet and depressing.
I hate to admit it but I actually miss having her scream in my ear to wake me up in the morning. Does that tell you how depressed I am? If it doesn't then maybe this does: I actually tried sleeping upside down like Ed does...But the blood rushed to my head and collected there and I fell down making the two idiot men rush in and trade looks between them. Apparently they thought I had lost my mind because Jet tried to play pyschiatrist on me; he trapped me in the gym (bet ya didn't believe we ever excerised didja? -eyes Jet's growing stomach and smiles evilly- Well I don't know about him but I do) and tried to do the 'I-think-you should-try-and-fulfill-your-dreams-and-stop-this-crazy-nonsense' speech. You have no idea how many times he's tried this speech on me...He hasn't even finished it yet. I think as he grows older so does his speech. Urgh.
Well...After the boring span of four days we finally made our snail-slow way to Ganymene where I had a nasty run-in with jealousy...I have no idea why I was jealous of Spike and this 'new girl' of his; I suppose since I've known him longer and I know why he's hanging around with this girl that it bugs the hell out of me. I know I'm probably confusing you so I'll start at the beginning of this mess that HE created.
Okay, so we're docking on Ganymene, hopefully out for a bounty head or two, to put some food on the table. While Jet and I are arguing over who gets the Swordfish Spike goes off to help this girl who was getting 'mugged' by this bulky looking guy. You know, like those musclemen that were bullies in third grade that knocked up all of the senior class in high school. That type of guy. A few badly thrown punches earned him a hard landing on his ass and some birdies flying around his head and the girl was hanging all over Spike...So they walked away and I felt the evil monster of jealousy flaming in me. Why was Spike doing this? Didn't he know that doing stupid things like this wouldn't ease his pain over Julia? Obviously not...Julia was an addiction; I see that now. She was like chocolate...Or alcohol. Dangerous to the health but necessary to live. When I met her I had a faint inkling of what she was...And I think she knew what was going to happen to her and Spike. Why she didn't stop it I suppose I'll never know.
While I glared after Spike I decided to do something stupid. Hey, if he can do it, why can't I, right? I told Jet he would get the Swordfish if he took me to the Grand Horacio Music Hall. I could tell he'd heard of it because his eyes clouded over and he clammed up when I asked him what was wrong. Lots of places hold memories for ol' Jet Black. The Black Dog that bites and then never lets go. Interesting but accurate way of looking at it. Well, anyway he could tell I was steaming over Spike so he agreed without argument. You see, Grand Horacio Music Hall was in the decrepit part of this town we were in; prostitutes did their rounds outside and inside young and struggling bands and singers would try to get the attention that they needed to sell a rec chip. I used to frequent that place and I knew lots of people...I wanted to sing again.
So here I am...angry and feeling like a piece of crap when I walked into the Hall and practically pushed the band that was singing off the stage. I noticed an old music friend of mine sitting in the audience and I swear to God I saw her smile...just a little. I ordered a band that had the old-fashioned Fender guitars and the drum sets to get their asses up onto the still-shiny wood that was slowly rotting away. They actually took my direction and I told them the song...I saw a smile on their faces. They knew it. Good. Taking the mike I clasped it between my hands and began to sing out a song I had heard a long time ago,
"Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black..."
I heard applause...I opened one eye and then the other. I glanced around...people were clapping. People were SMILING. I haven't lost my touch yet... I remember thinking before I whispered the next song to the people behind me that this was better than staring into Spike's unreadable eyes. The song I sang was angry...I was furious. I sang the song...so violent that I could feel the people around me draw back. I didn't care. This song was mine. I poured all the hatred, sorrow, jealousy, and worry into that song and it blasted out of me and into that microphone.
"Tears of the feeble
Hands of the slaves
Skin of the mothers
Mouths of the babes
Building up towers
Belongs to the sky
When the whole thing
Comes crashing down
Don't ask me why
Under the shelf
The shelf of the sky
Two eyes, two suns
Too heavenly blinds
Swallowing rivers
Belongs to the sea
When the whole thing washes away
Don't run to me
I'll be going down
For the rest of the Slide
While the rest of you
Harvest the gold
And the wreck of you
Is the death of you all
And the wreck of you
Is the break
And the fall
I'm the wreck of you
I'm the death of you all
I'm the wreak of you
I'm the break and the fall
Under the red
Break of the lights
Heroes in stretches
Inch to the site
Blowing the pieces
Belong to the wind
When the whole thing
Blows away
I won't pretend
I'll be going down
For the rest of the slide
While the rest of you
Harvest the souls
And the wreck of you
Is the death of you all
And the wreck of you
Is the break
And the fall
I'm the wreck of you
I'm the death of you all
I'm the wreak of you
I'm the break and the fall
Behind the blood red break of
Lights
Lies the wreck of you for the rest
Of your life
And the wreck of you
Is the death of you all
And the wreck of you
Is the break
And the fall
I'm the wreck of you
I'm the death of you all
I'm the wreak of you
I'm the break and the fall...."
I didn't want to open my eyes...I could feel tears behind my closed lids. I clung to the microphone stand; exhausted. When I opened my eyes more people had come in from outside. Pimps and their hookers...beggars...other bands...my old music friends...and Spike was in a dark corner. He was watching me with a strange expression on his face. I pretended not to notice him as I smiled weakly to the loud clapping and hoots of encores. I kissed the band that played with me and shakily walked off the stage. Spike was coming at me but I was intercepted by the woman I'd seen earlier. Arissa. She was a pretty woman with long, long white blonde hair and piercing green eyes.
"That's a lot of angst you've got pent up inside of you...now where did you get it all?"
I offered her a small smile and answered quietly,
"You don't want to know...how's it been Arissa?"
She knew me well...and knew that I was dodging a subject I'd rather not talk about. At all. Period. She simply tossed me one of those knowing looks and sighed softly before shrugging,
"Same old, same old...I've seen better days, Faye Valentine...you haven't aged a day since I've seen you."
I shrugged nonchalantly,
"Yeah, well what can I say? Flying at break neck speeds through space does give one a nice face...especially after all the pulling it goes through. Who needs plastic surgery?"
She laughed softly and hugged me quickly before murmuring in my ear,
"Be good...see you later. I've got things to do. And so do you."
She disappeared on me. Just like that. Spike had stopped and had clomped over to the entrance...he went out the door so I walked out; pretending to be surprised to see him there. Obviously he didn't want me to know that he'd been in there. I snorted in annoyance before going out completely. Upon seeing him I arched a brow and I felt my eyes narrowing,
"What are you doing here? I thought you were off having yourself a good time with that little pre-schooler."
Spike rolled his eyes and lit a cigarette; I watched it bob up and down as he began to talk,
"She bored me. I don't want to listen about the newest fashion craze. I heard someone squawking away in there...God it hurt my ears."
Red blurred my vision and my hand swung out and I slapped him so hard he staggered...in slow motion the cigarette flew from his mouth and landed on the ground where it lay in a sprinkling of ashes. Then everything slowly started speeding up again. Spike didn't look surprised. He seemed to know that he'd gone way too far. But I screamed at him with my worn out voice anyway,
"HOW DARE YOU, YOU BASTARD! THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME FOR SAVING YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE!? AND HERE I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING THAT MAYBE FOR ONCE YOU COULD ACTUALLY JUST UNDERSTAND...BUT FORGET IT!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!? YOU'D JUST RATHER WALLOW IN YOUR ARROGANCE AND YOUR DEPRESSION! FINE! GO AND GET YOURSELF SHOT IN THE HEAD! SEE IF I CARE...IF I EVER CARE AGAIN!"
People were staring at me but I didn't care. I was so mad...so hurt at what he said that I didn't even wait for a nasty reply I just ran. Ran as far away from him as I could. I pushed people out of my way; eyes blurred by tears. The bastard always made me cry...god dammit! Running down an alley I curled up in a dark corner underneath a metal staircase and buried my face in my hands.
"I hate you."
Running Away From Me
=====
Yes...yes...it took me a hell of a long time to finish the fifth chapter but here it is. Sorry everybody...got wrapped up in all this other crap. But hey! Got this chapter and it will keep getting better from here. You guys want me to do the next chapter with Spike talking? Email me or tell me through reviews.
Well, I don't know why I even bothered to show any sort of emotion towards Spike whatsoever. The man must have had PMS, Post Masculinity Syndrome...Must have been a moment of feminity for him. When he was finally released from the hospital after days and days of blood transfusions he demanded to go back home, where 'home' was Jet and I weren't sure but we had a hard time guarding the X-Raider and the Hammerhead from him...He obviously wanted to go back to where Julia died, but, being me I knew he would try and do something stupid. Spike is mostly himself, the bottomless pit...He is always hungry, as usual...I have to admit though; it is good to have him back...Even if he did steal my candy bars and eat them in front of me.
Jet seems happy that Spike's alright...but he barely speaks to him...he just sits there...grooming those sickly shrubby things...I caught him trying to glue a branch back on to one that he had dismembered 'accidentally'. He's such a dipshit sometimes...Honestly. Doesn't glue kill trees? A question to ponder for another time.
We've been slowly drifting towards Ganymene for a while now...But Jet seems to be procrastinating; I have no idea why. There aren't any bad memories there for him as far as I know. Well, what do I care if all of the food runs out...It's not like we haven't battled starvation before, don't look at me! When I ate that disgusting old food I threw it up so that doesn't count! I remember being so bored...If Ed were here she would liven it up...Probably have a drool contest with anyone who would participate. That would be just like her. But no, she's off somewhere with her crazy father 'bringing order' back to the Earth. The next order of business has to be getting her and Ein to come back...Without them it's too quiet here. Too quiet and depressing.
I hate to admit it but I actually miss having her scream in my ear to wake me up in the morning. Does that tell you how depressed I am? If it doesn't then maybe this does: I actually tried sleeping upside down like Ed does...But the blood rushed to my head and collected there and I fell down making the two idiot men rush in and trade looks between them. Apparently they thought I had lost my mind because Jet tried to play pyschiatrist on me; he trapped me in the gym (bet ya didn't believe we ever excerised didja? -eyes Jet's growing stomach and smiles evilly- Well I don't know about him but I do) and tried to do the 'I-think-you should-try-and-fulfill-your-dreams-and-stop-this-crazy-nonsense' speech. You have no idea how many times he's tried this speech on me...He hasn't even finished it yet. I think as he grows older so does his speech. Urgh.
Well...After the boring span of four days we finally made our snail-slow way to Ganymene where I had a nasty run-in with jealousy...I have no idea why I was jealous of Spike and this 'new girl' of his; I suppose since I've known him longer and I know why he's hanging around with this girl that it bugs the hell out of me. I know I'm probably confusing you so I'll start at the beginning of this mess that HE created.
Okay, so we're docking on Ganymene, hopefully out for a bounty head or two, to put some food on the table. While Jet and I are arguing over who gets the Swordfish Spike goes off to help this girl who was getting 'mugged' by this bulky looking guy. You know, like those musclemen that were bullies in third grade that knocked up all of the senior class in high school. That type of guy. A few badly thrown punches earned him a hard landing on his ass and some birdies flying around his head and the girl was hanging all over Spike...So they walked away and I felt the evil monster of jealousy flaming in me. Why was Spike doing this? Didn't he know that doing stupid things like this wouldn't ease his pain over Julia? Obviously not...Julia was an addiction; I see that now. She was like chocolate...Or alcohol. Dangerous to the health but necessary to live. When I met her I had a faint inkling of what she was...And I think she knew what was going to happen to her and Spike. Why she didn't stop it I suppose I'll never know.
While I glared after Spike I decided to do something stupid. Hey, if he can do it, why can't I, right? I told Jet he would get the Swordfish if he took me to the Grand Horacio Music Hall. I could tell he'd heard of it because his eyes clouded over and he clammed up when I asked him what was wrong. Lots of places hold memories for ol' Jet Black. The Black Dog that bites and then never lets go. Interesting but accurate way of looking at it. Well, anyway he could tell I was steaming over Spike so he agreed without argument. You see, Grand Horacio Music Hall was in the decrepit part of this town we were in; prostitutes did their rounds outside and inside young and struggling bands and singers would try to get the attention that they needed to sell a rec chip. I used to frequent that place and I knew lots of people...I wanted to sing again.
So here I am...angry and feeling like a piece of crap when I walked into the Hall and practically pushed the band that was singing off the stage. I noticed an old music friend of mine sitting in the audience and I swear to God I saw her smile...just a little. I ordered a band that had the old-fashioned Fender guitars and the drum sets to get their asses up onto the still-shiny wood that was slowly rotting away. They actually took my direction and I told them the song...I saw a smile on their faces. They knew it. Good. Taking the mike I clasped it between my hands and began to sing out a song I had heard a long time ago,
"Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black..."
I heard applause...I opened one eye and then the other. I glanced around...people were clapping. People were SMILING. I haven't lost my touch yet... I remember thinking before I whispered the next song to the people behind me that this was better than staring into Spike's unreadable eyes. The song I sang was angry...I was furious. I sang the song...so violent that I could feel the people around me draw back. I didn't care. This song was mine. I poured all the hatred, sorrow, jealousy, and worry into that song and it blasted out of me and into that microphone.
"Tears of the feeble
Hands of the slaves
Skin of the mothers
Mouths of the babes
Building up towers
Belongs to the sky
When the whole thing
Comes crashing down
Don't ask me why
Under the shelf
The shelf of the sky
Two eyes, two suns
Too heavenly blinds
Swallowing rivers
Belongs to the sea
When the whole thing washes away
Don't run to me
I'll be going down
For the rest of the Slide
While the rest of you
Harvest the gold
And the wreck of you
Is the death of you all
And the wreck of you
Is the break
And the fall
I'm the wreck of you
I'm the death of you all
I'm the wreak of you
I'm the break and the fall
Under the red
Break of the lights
Heroes in stretches
Inch to the site
Blowing the pieces
Belong to the wind
When the whole thing
Blows away
I won't pretend
I'll be going down
For the rest of the slide
While the rest of you
Harvest the souls
And the wreck of you
Is the death of you all
And the wreck of you
Is the break
And the fall
I'm the wreck of you
I'm the death of you all
I'm the wreak of you
I'm the break and the fall
Behind the blood red break of
Lights
Lies the wreck of you for the rest
Of your life
And the wreck of you
Is the death of you all
And the wreck of you
Is the break
And the fall
I'm the wreck of you
I'm the death of you all
I'm the wreak of you
I'm the break and the fall...."
I didn't want to open my eyes...I could feel tears behind my closed lids. I clung to the microphone stand; exhausted. When I opened my eyes more people had come in from outside. Pimps and their hookers...beggars...other bands...my old music friends...and Spike was in a dark corner. He was watching me with a strange expression on his face. I pretended not to notice him as I smiled weakly to the loud clapping and hoots of encores. I kissed the band that played with me and shakily walked off the stage. Spike was coming at me but I was intercepted by the woman I'd seen earlier. Arissa. She was a pretty woman with long, long white blonde hair and piercing green eyes.
"That's a lot of angst you've got pent up inside of you...now where did you get it all?"
I offered her a small smile and answered quietly,
"You don't want to know...how's it been Arissa?"
She knew me well...and knew that I was dodging a subject I'd rather not talk about. At all. Period. She simply tossed me one of those knowing looks and sighed softly before shrugging,
"Same old, same old...I've seen better days, Faye Valentine...you haven't aged a day since I've seen you."
I shrugged nonchalantly,
"Yeah, well what can I say? Flying at break neck speeds through space does give one a nice face...especially after all the pulling it goes through. Who needs plastic surgery?"
She laughed softly and hugged me quickly before murmuring in my ear,
"Be good...see you later. I've got things to do. And so do you."
She disappeared on me. Just like that. Spike had stopped and had clomped over to the entrance...he went out the door so I walked out; pretending to be surprised to see him there. Obviously he didn't want me to know that he'd been in there. I snorted in annoyance before going out completely. Upon seeing him I arched a brow and I felt my eyes narrowing,
"What are you doing here? I thought you were off having yourself a good time with that little pre-schooler."
Spike rolled his eyes and lit a cigarette; I watched it bob up and down as he began to talk,
"She bored me. I don't want to listen about the newest fashion craze. I heard someone squawking away in there...God it hurt my ears."
Red blurred my vision and my hand swung out and I slapped him so hard he staggered...in slow motion the cigarette flew from his mouth and landed on the ground where it lay in a sprinkling of ashes. Then everything slowly started speeding up again. Spike didn't look surprised. He seemed to know that he'd gone way too far. But I screamed at him with my worn out voice anyway,
"HOW DARE YOU, YOU BASTARD! THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME FOR SAVING YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE!? AND HERE I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING THAT MAYBE FOR ONCE YOU COULD ACTUALLY JUST UNDERSTAND...BUT FORGET IT!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!? YOU'D JUST RATHER WALLOW IN YOUR ARROGANCE AND YOUR DEPRESSION! FINE! GO AND GET YOURSELF SHOT IN THE HEAD! SEE IF I CARE...IF I EVER CARE AGAIN!"
People were staring at me but I didn't care. I was so mad...so hurt at what he said that I didn't even wait for a nasty reply I just ran. Ran as far away from him as I could. I pushed people out of my way; eyes blurred by tears. The bastard always made me cry...god dammit! Running down an alley I curled up in a dark corner underneath a metal staircase and buried my face in my hands.
"I hate you."
Running Away From Me
=====
Yes...yes...it took me a hell of a long time to finish the fifth chapter but here it is. Sorry everybody...got wrapped up in all this other crap. But hey! Got this chapter and it will keep getting better from here. You guys want me to do the next chapter with Spike talking? Email me or tell me through reviews.