It was later. Much later. Lily sat in her darkened room, no expression on her face. A white gown hid her thin frame, as quiet and innocent as she was. There was a small knock and then a timid nurse poked her head in the room.
"Lily, um, it's time for dinner. Come on." Lily slowly looked up. An unfamiliar face, young, only a bit older than Lily. No wonder she was so frightened. Lily nodded slowly, as though not quite in that plane of reality. Silently, Lily stood. Shuffling her feet, she walked behind the nurse, lost in her mind.
She had been there for three years now. Lily had been diagnosed with bipolar depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, paranoia, schizophrenia, and various other mental diseases.
Stuck with no place to go, no life to live. Nothing.
Dinner was a greasy mixture of cheese and something unidentifiable. Lily dragged her fork through it listlessly. Other people were around her, crazy too. But none of them were as screwed as she was. They talked, she listened. They ran, and she trudged. They laughed, she cried. Even them, people stuck where she was, had a chance. They could get over it all and move on. But she couldn't.
I'm not crazy, really! This is my mind, how it works, how it is. Just let me be.
Maybe I am crazy, Lily thought dully. Maybe I imagined it all. Why do I have to be so stubborn? But the boy...he looked so kind...almost like an angel. A guardian angel. Lily smiled despite herself.
Then it was time to go to her psychiatrist. He was a fat, balding man who smiled in a gremlin-like way and laughed at people's problems too much.
"Hello, Lily. How're you today?" Ever day he asked that question and never got an answer.
"What's been going through your mind lately?" These sessions were mostly silent, occasionally Lily would speak.
"Nothing."
"Nothing at all? Oh, don't be like that! Everyone's always thinking of something!"
Flashes of lightning, children crying, hope lost, abandoned. Nothing being left. The boy gone too.
"I wondered when my parents would come visit me." Dull, flat. Lily said that only to put him off. Dr. Scoalie (his name, believe it or not) bristled.
"Well, they may not have come in the last few...er, years but that doesn't mean they don't miss you! They truly hope you'll come home soon."
Where was home? Their villa in Majorca? The one they bought two months after she was abandoned?
The rest of the period was unsuccessful and this time the shrink gave up after twenty minutes.
A group session, a shower, then it was time to sleep.
Lily crawled into the scratchy white cot.
Am I real? Is anything real?