Kari: Hello everybody say hello to the first part of the I'm not a fucking tea cup series we would like you to enjoy the hard work that went into this fic, and the lack of sleep laughs Please review and have fun

Disclaimer: no own

Warnings: swearing, sexual reference

Spoilers: as if

Pairing: Ryou/Bakura

It was late, around two in the morning; Bakura was still awake- he was almost always awake at this hour; it really wasn't that late anyways. Bakura knew he had to get up in the morning and go to class, but that was later and what could be put off would be put off. Bakura had been surfing the net for about twenty minutes now, not long before that he had been working on the music for a song that Mokuba- his band's vocalist- had written. Too much work would give anyone a headache so he was on break, extended break. He could almost see the disapproving look Yami – the band's other guitarist- would be giving him; it was almost as good as the real one would be.

Bakura found that on this night, when no one was on to chat with, there wasn't much to do. Currently he was working on the band's site, normally he would force the tedious work on Malik –the bassist- but he had not been able to track down the other youth for the past few days. No one had seen him anywhere. It wasn't odd for one or more of the band members to go 'missing' for a small while, any much more over a week and Mokuba or Ryou –the drummer- would start to worry.

Bakura was currently uploading something and it was taking forever, tapping his fingers had grown boring, not to mention painful, a while ago staring off into the corner had also lost it's interest- whatever interest it had in the first place-. Finding absolutely nothing better to do, Bakura opened another window and checked his e-mail it, was a truly sad day when THE Bakura Ferral got so bored he would resort to checking his e-mail. It wasn't that odd actually......... Spam, Spam, nothing much, a letter from Yugi –Who went to classes with him- at least it was something to keep him occupied, WAIT! There is one more, a single piece of mail from none other then Ryou, like an angel sent form above to save Bakura from his deathly boredom.

'Hey! Bakus! giggle it's been awhile since we got together for practice ne? I think we need it laughs just don't tell Mokie! He would get all-mad at me! Anyways yeah so I wanted to tell you that we are meeting at Malik's tomorrow at 5.

It's been along time since we went out together? Hasn't it? I miss you, giggles my house after practice? I'll show you a real good time laughs

Bai Bai! See you then

Ry'

Bakura smirked evilly, damn was he ever waiting for tomorrow it had been a unusually long time since he had touched Ryou. They had both been busy and the lack of sex in his life was going to kill him if he didn't fix it soon. It was a real good thing that he always had Ryou there for him. Ahh yes, sweet, soft, sexy Ryou, Bakura was almost licking his lips in anticipation, what twelve hours left to go? Fuck.

Well since there wasn't anything else he could do about it right now, well there was but Bakura didn't feel like getting the computer all messy. It was very hard to type when jerking off with one hand, Ryou had taught his that one day. Back on safer topics now, Yugi's e-mail. Bakura shook his head, he had met Yugi under unusual circumstances, they had had classes together before but never once had Bakura talked to him, until one day, all it took after all was a can of blue paint and a stool that hadn't been put away properly.

It was a chain letter, Bakura hated chain letters, they were so pointless just someone trying to get attention, or to affect other people. What freaks read them anyway? Bakura freaks, he clicked on the letter, curious to see what Yugi would send him. After getting past all the various e-mail forwarding he reached the message it self.

'Why Guys Like Girls' Well here we are at the first sentence and it doesn't work already, Bakura didn't like girls just .........girly guys. That had always been something that Seto had laughed at him for. Well maybe he could still look through it and trying and figure out why guys did like girls when they could have sexy little boys like Ry or Mokie, hell even Malik would be better then one of those girls in class, like Anzu or Mai.

'1. They always smell good even if it's only shampoo' Well true enough.........if you were talking about Ryou, he did always smell good, slightly like some flower, I was no florist and had no clue what flower it could possibly be but he knew it was a flower of some sort and that counted for something. And one of those times when I would grab Mokuba to tickle him or leaned on his head just to show how much taller I was then the short vocalist, Mokuba had always smelled good, not reeking of perfume or anything just a soft soapy smell that clung to silky locks.

'2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder' .........snuggling Ryou was good at snuggling he was soft, like a teddy bear. I had bothered to tell Ryou this once and got smacked for my troubles, since then I had kept my teddy bear related thoughts to myself. Or after an intense fuck the way Ryou would lay his head on my chest as we cooled down and caught our breath, it did fit nicely, sure there was hair everywhere but neither of us seemed to notice in our snuggle moments.

'3. How cute they look when they sleep' Well everyone looks cute when they sleep, well except for Yami maybe, he looked.........awake when he slept, he slept with his eyes partially open and he would mumble things sometimes. It was rather hilarious, but then again he also had his moments. This one time he fell asleep on the couch waiting for them to get there so that they could rehearse, even Mokie the king of cute had cooed over the sight. Ryou was particularly cute when he slept he would snuggle into the Bakura's warmth trying to get as close as possible, burrowing his head till all Bakura would be able to see was a ball of silvery hair. Like a kitten, I had once owned, it would burrow its face into my stomach when it slept- Ryou was disturbingly like that.

'4. The ease in which they fit into your arms' Ryou was shorter then me, not by much but enough to make us fit together like puzzle pieces, flat planes of our bodies pressed together. After even more mad fucking where we would cling together it was easier to tell, the way our bones seemed to interlock, our bodies curling around each other, it was sweet almost romantic and if Ryou hadn't just had an intense mind debilitating orgasm he might have noticed this and laughed but alas he was quite brainless after hours. Ryou wasn't the only one to fit into my arms, I had had Mokuba sitting on my lap an entire night once, the small vocalist seemed to fit there, I was able to see over his head when Mokuba leaned to the side a bit, would have been easier if Mokuba didn't have so much hair. Sure it wasn't the soul locking type of fitting together but it did show that Mokuba was .........travel sized.

'5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.' Mmmm, Ryou was a good kisser.

'6. How cute they are when they eat' I realized just then that I had never before paid all that much attention to how Ryou ate his food. Well let's see, he gets it in his mouth.........chews and shallows, cute I guess. I was much more interested in the other things that Ryou liked to do with his mouth. Malik on the other hand was cute to watch eat, it was also good for a few laughs. He would separate his food very carefully making sure it didn't touch or mix, he was very peculiar about this, when it did touch he would pout and separate it carefully again.

'7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it's all worth it' Well Ryou did take the longest to get into his stage costume, Mokuba and Yami did give him a run for his money though. It comes with being a visual kei band I guess. Well now that we are here lets explain about my band, we are very careful about our clothes as we aim to dazzle the crowd not only with our music only but with our costumes as well. Ryou was known for exceptionally complex and careful hair styling. The hair alone took more time too do then most women spend in a bathroom all day. Ryou wasn't that big on makeup but when he was done he made a more convincing woman then most people in the crowd. Yami took hours on his hair as well and was well know for his elegant costumes, long skirts and all dark colors. Malik loved unusual colors and different patterns and shiny stuff. I was known as more of the masculine one, leather lots of shiny leather, warm sweltering sweaty leather. I really didn't like leather after the first ten minutes on stage under the hot lights. Mokuba was known for his ability to run around the stage in mini skirts and platform boots, that and enough make up that you couldn't see his natural skin underneath. That and his hair, he rarely did anything really special to it but managed to make it look like he was pulled into a closet on the way to the stage, it was a favored look. Well Ryou did look fucking sexy in his stage costume and I loved messing up the elaborate curls so yeah- it was totally worth it.

'8. The way they look good no matter what they wear' No, no, no; I didn't think I was the fashion police but seeing some of those outfits I wished I was. Women didn't look good in anything, take Anzu for example, it seemed that she picked out her clothing with a blind fold on, in what world did those colors match?! It just hurt my tired brain to think about it, red shorts and a black and gold top?!. Ryou on the other hand, knew what looked good on him and flaunted it, short skirts accenting long slim legs, tight pant to show off his sexy ass, dark colors that made his hair glow. Ryou was a style god, actually he had heard from Malik who had been in the group longer that it had been Yami who had taught him how to shop, and wear nice clothes, I could believe it Yami never wore something that didn't match and the more buckles the better- Baku like buckles.

'9. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on the planet.' No, Ryou didn't really do that, only sometimes when he designs a new costume, and then I always does tell him that he is the most beautiful. It's Mokie who fishes for compliments when everyone thinks he is the cutest, as much as Malik hates to admit it sometimes, but then again who can say no to Mokuba's large deep blue eyes? No one, not even Yami Mister I'm-cold-I'll-do-anything-to-get-my-band-ahea-OH-Mokuba-want-a-lollie?

'10. How cute they are when they argue' Actually I found most females arguing looked somewhat like wildcats about to bite your head off, I tend to steer clear of them. Ryou looked like a cat when he was mad, his eyes would narrow and he would make a growling noise in his throat. It was cute. But the most amusing thing to do was the watch Malik and Ryou argue, then the ensuing cat fight. There were few things betting in this world then watching your two sexy band mates rolling on the ground. Yami always stepped in to pry whoever happened to be on top at that moment off. Then he would make them talk it out while Mokuba and I went off to sulk. Arguing with Mokuba was different though, you just couldn't win, he must have got it from his brother, but the small vocalist could convince you the sky was neon yellow if he wanted to. I had always wanted to see what an argument between Mokuba and Yami would turn out like but Yami always gave in; he had a soft spot for the singer.

'11. The way they smile' Ryou has really white teeth at first it kind of disturbed me, but I'm used to it now, he brushes them religiously and as a result his teeth are really white. It makes his smile sparkle, and when they do become famous that's what Ryou is going to be most famous for, the world best smile. It makes my heart warm, it's like the sun rising over the ocean warming everything it touches.

'12. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them' That one applies to Ryou as well, when Ryou is pleased with me it's custom for his to drag my luck ass off to some conveniently placed corner and reward me for the next five minutes or so. Consequently I'm always very helpful when it comes to Ryou.

'13. The way they kiss when they say "I love you"' Yep fluffy admissions of love come in right after 'mad monkey love' one and before 'lets fuck like rabbits now?' which is number two.

'14. Actually.........just the way they kiss you' Yeah, Ryou is a good kisser, he has a small agile tongue and the things he can do with it are endless. I love Ryou's tongue I should start a club named that but if anyone else ever joined I'd have to kill them. Except Mokuba, I've kissed Mokuba before, at first it disturbed me, without his makeup he looks like a kid, it's creepy. But once you get passed that, his mouth is so small and warm, it's hard to compare to Ryou's. Well I know Ryou's kissed Mokuba as well, they are quite close friends; I wonder if I could talk Ryou into letting me watch.........

'15. The way they fall into your arms when they cry' Yeah I've only seen Ryou cry once and that's when Seto got really sick, I remember it well he was in the hospital. We all went to see him; Mokuba hadn't left the room since he got there. The moment he laid eyes on the older boy he collapsed in my chest crying I admit it scared me too; Seto was always a figure of strength and he always looked so damned cool. Here he was lying on a hospital bed looking pale and weak. His tears soaked my shirt and I remember how he clung to my chest as I watched Yami swoop Mokuba up in his arms and rock him gently, Malik stared at Seto his own dawn eyes wet with tears. Seto eventually got better and we were all ecstatic. Then the tears came again, we were throwing a welcome home party for Seto who just got out of the hospital, they wanted to keep Mokuba cause he hadn't eaten much while he was there with Seto, Ryou looked at me and smiled through his tears, he was crying cause he was so happy that everything was fine, Seto was fine Mokuba was fine and all the world was right. I like those tears better; they look good on him. When we kiss it tastes like salt.

'16. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt' I'll admit this is where it stops, Ryou had a good punch. Too bad he was far to scared of breaking his nails to use it so I guess it counts, Yami on the other had you never want to get hit in the face by. He had a killer hook and he's not scared of breaking a nail –he'll just go get them redone when's he finished- it leaves one hell of a bruise, stings to. Malik had the oddest tendency to slap instead of hit, it stings more then Yami's punch but without the bruise. Mokuba.........is non violent, he's never resorted to hitting as long as I have known him.

'17. The way they say I miss you' I like the way that Ryou says anything, his voice is so sexy, it's like a purr when he's talking to me and only me. I also love the way that when he's talking he slips up and you can hear his accent, he hates it but I personally love it. He would have made a nice vocalist, he's pretty enough to be our front man but he can't really sing at all. He is nowhere within the same league as Mokuba. Mokuba is a natural born singer, he puts all his energy into his singing and bounces around the stage, all the people there, they're glued to him, his voice it sings a song straight into their hearts past ears past everything else it's talent that Mokuba has, you just have to love his singing because of how much of him he puts in it. There is one other way I like Ryou's voice, he's bloody sexy when he's screaming in passion, but you all saw that coming didn't you?

'18. The way you miss them' I haven't had sex for a full week; I miss Ryou a lot right now. I talk to him on the phone or on line but I haven't talked to him for at least three days now, since Malik disappeared. Soon I'll see him again and my world will start spinning again, he's like an energy boost, without him I slowly start wearing down till I stop completely.

'19. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.........yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them .........it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without making a sound. You know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do justice. It's a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.' Was there even a statement in there?

Bakura reread the last part again trying to figure out what its reason was, Bakura failed. He stretched over the back of his chair the snapping of joints briefly filled the room and Bakura moaned in pleasure.

Maybe it was late, maybe it was the fact that Bakura had been up since 6 that morning when a hyper active Mokuba had called him. Maybe it was an alien living in Bakura's brain but Bakura was starting to think Ryou was the perfect woman; he was everything a guy could want in a girl, not even stopping to wonder at the fact that Ryou wasn't a woman.

Bakura put his head down oh his desk to close his eyes, and promptly fell asleep.

Kari: That's all, leave all complaints and words of encouragement on the way out, thank you and have a nice day.