A BAD MONDAY
9:15 am
Anna rested on one of the cement benches along the facade of the Science Building. She'd never noticed all the hills and short flights of steps around Harbor until she crossed campus weighted down with Ryan's books. The ramp up to the terrace where she sat now had never registered on her consciousness before. She saw Ryan heading for the same ramp rather than taking the more direct way up the stairs. Even relieved of his books, he moved more slowly than when she'd first seen him this morning.
Anna reached up to massage the shoulder that had carried his backpack and then squared her shoulders. Chino needed another dose of tough love; and since Marissa wasn't around to supply it, she guessed it was up to her. She didn't remember seeing any "stand by your man" moments in Ryan and Marissa's relationship. She wondered if there had been any.
Ryan arrived at the top of the ramp and walked hesitantly toward her. He was pale, making the shadows under his eyes darker and the pain lines more pronounced. "You see I made it."
"Sit down, Chino. We've got a few minutes. Talk to me." She wore her determined, no nonsense expression.
Ryan eased himself down onto the bench beside her with a wary expression. "About what?"
"About why you're here today and not at home or the hospital. Don't tell me you're not hurting. What's wrong with you? You told me yesterday that you just had some scrapes and bruises." She held his eyes until he finally turned away from her and looked out across the campus.
"It is just scrapes and bruises." At her skeptical expression he sighed, closed his eyes, and leaned back against the wall of the building. "It is just scrapes and bruises." He repeated with more emphasis. "Only…" He paused and started again. "A resident in the ER Friday offered an analogy to try to help me understand what happened."
Ryan smiled wryly, his eyes still closed. "He said my experience could be compared to going through a paint mixer. You lock a can into a machine that shakes the can violently until the paint is thoroughly mixed. I was lucky; Seth wasn't. I went through that shaking process and came out with a lot of bruising - deep bruising that isn't all visible." At Anna's expression, he added. "But, it still amounts to just scrapes and bruises. Nothing life threatening."
"Basically you're telling me that your body was shaken violently and repeatedly over a period of -- oh -- ten minutes but you're fine." She shook her head. "And you're here, why?"
"I went over this with Sandy this morning. I have a history test today that I have to take." Ryan grabbed one of the backpack's straps and started pulling it toward him.
Anna placed her hand over his and stopped him. "Are you taking anything for pain?" When Ryan didn't answer she rolled her eyes. "Okay, did they give you anything for pain?"
"Yeah, some pain pills and some other stuff. Sandy dropped some off at the nurse's office this morning for later, if I need them."
"Did you take anything this morning?" Anna didn't think Ryan would lie to her if she asked him a direct question.
"I took some Tylenol." He muttered.
"Damn, Chino!"
"I don't like pain pills. When I take them, I don't feel like I'm in control – of my words, my actions. I hate the feeling of not being in control! Besides…"
Anna finished for him. "…you've got a test to take. I got that." She made a disgusted sound. "When is this, oh so important, test?"
"It's right after lunch."
"Are you going home then? Do you need a ride?" She watched him closely.
"No, I'm finishing out the day. Sandy's picking me up after school to take me up to see Seth."
"Why are you staying after your test? You should leave then."
Ryan concentrated on readjusting the straps on his backpack before answering. "I'm staying because that's what I told Sandy I was doing this morning."
"That's the dumbest reason I've ever heard." Anna exploded. "Did you share that wonderful paint metaphor with Sandy and Kirsten?"
Ryan didn't meet her eyes and tightened his grip on the strap. "They talked to the same doctors in the ER that I did. They know what happened. They've got enough to think about with Seth without having them worry about me." He narrowed his eyes. "We had a deal, Anna. Remember?"
Anna released her grip on the backpack and Ryan pulled it to him. He swung it around, up, and onto his shoulder as he got to his feet.
"I'll walk you to your locker, Ryan." Anna stood, brushed off her skirt, and then slipped her arm through Ryan's.
Summer needed to get to the Science Building; but, since she hated to sweat except at the beach, she would only walk as quickly as her new shoes would allow. She'd hoped to catch Ryan when he came out of English, but the dork of a substitute said the class got out early today. Summer was angry with herself and she didn't like the feeling. She'd missed Ryan before he left for school and again before his first period class and she needed him today.
"It's all his fault." She muttered to herself and the world immediately made sense to her again. "If it hadn't been for him, Marissa wouldn't need help and I wouldn't be running around campus in new shoes and a bad mood. He'll come up with a plan - he owes it to me."
Why did Nana's 70th birthday party have to be in San Francisco, on Sunday, and, the unfairest thing of all, why did Nana have to have all the real money in the family. If Summer had been in town on Saturday it might have made a difference; but not going, even after Seth's accident, had never been an option.
Being there, being the attentive granddaughter kept you on Nana's good side and in her will. StepMom2 never tired of reminding her that it was important with her Dad out of town for the two of them be there to keep Nana happy. It wasn't an awful party. Nana always picked a top restaurant for her party and never spared any expense in treating herself; some of Summer's cousins weren't total losers, and Nana always gave out presents on her birthday. Now that Summer had graduated in Nana's eyes to adult presents this was seriously interesting.
Summer shook her wrist, jingling the coins dangling from her gold bracelet. Nana had a sense of tradition and humor. Instead of yet another teddy bear to add to the collection that threatened to squeeze Summer out of her own bedroom, Nana had given her a bracelet hung with golden pandas from China. She looked at the coins shining in the bright California sun and made a mental note to herself to point out to Seth that there was plenty of room for more coins when he needed an idea for a present. Gold would definitely be better than those awful CD's he insisted on buying her. Thank God he hadn't started buying her comic books yet! How to select appropriate presents for her was just one more area she had to add to her list of things that needed to be changed about Seth to make him the perfect Summer boyfriend.
Summer looked at her watch as she approached the steps in front of the Science Building. She thought Ryan had a free period now and usually used it to study. If she'd ever paid attention to Marissa when she talked about Ryan, maybe she'd know where to look. She'd had her own relationship problems this semester -- the whole Seth/Anna thing to set straight. How could she be expected to keep track of Marissa's boyfriend and his life? She had some time before her biology class to find him and give him the news. He'd know what to do.
As they walked down the corridor, Anna watched Ryan out of the corner of her eye. He carried himself stiffly but didn't show anything on his face. He was in her opinion a dammed, stiff-necked fool for being here, for not taking his medication, for just everything. It made her want to punch him – hard, but instead she held onto his arm and walked him down the hall.
"I suppose you're going to use your free period to study for that stupid test?" At Ryan's nod she gave a resigned sigh. "In that case you should go out into the courtyard we just passed. It's quiet and there's lots of sun. It might make you feel better."
Ryan's locker was around the corner from Anna's biology class. He piled everything except his history book and notebook into it before closing the door with a relieved sigh.
When Ryan turned back to her, Anna impulsively put her arms around his waist and gave him a gentle hug. "Damn, I'm afraid I'll hurt you if I squeeze too hard. Did I hurt you when I poked you back in English?" She looked up at him and watched as his expression changed from surprise to amusement.
"I've taken harder blows than that from Seth." With a smile he closed his arms around her and returned the hug.
Where was Ryan? This was becoming a major aggravation. She didn't have time to track him all over campus. She'd checked the central lounge in the Science Building and two unoccupied classrooms and had yet to find him. The small courtyard near the biology lab was the last place she had time to check before her next class.
It was just like him, never where he was needed. She wondered why he was even at school today. If he was such a good friend to Seth, why wasn't he at the hospital? She hoped it meant that Seth was doing better. But how was she supposed to know? The receptionist at the hospital, who sounded overweight and desperate, wouldn't put a call through to Seth this morning. Then, Marie, the nurse on Seth's floor, (She assumed she was female based solely on the name since her voice was deeper than Summer's father's) wouldn't give out any information on Mr. Cohen's condition to a non-relative. Ryan should have left a message for her last night about Seth or he should have left his cell phone on. He had to know she'd want to know about Seth as soon as she got back. She didn't understand how he could be so inconsiderate of her feelings.
All the rushing about was definitely starting to make Summer feel icky; but the courtyard she needed to check was only two classrooms past her biology class. As she turned the corner into the hallway leading to her class and the courtyard, she breathed a sigh of relief -- Ryan! Ryan was standing in the hallway talking to Anna and then she saw Anna put her arms around him. Summer stopped and watched.
"You remember what I said, Ryan. If you need a ride home," She looked up and saw his expression. "Okay, or to the hospital, after your test, I'll take you. I'm in journalism that period. I can get away. Just come and get me."
"I'll remember and thanks for everything." Saying that Ryan drew her closer. They stood for a moment two friends holding onto each other. "Anna, I'm sorry that it didn't work out with Seth."
Anna sighed and let her head rest against Ryan's chest. She could hear the sound of his heart even over the noises in the hallway. His heartbeat was like him: strong, steady, constant. She felt some of the stiffness in his body relax as she held on to him. He released her and stepped back, an embarrassed expression on his face.
Anna ignored it and smiling brightly said, "Good thank you, Ryan!"
He returned her smile before gesturing with his book toward her classroom. "You need to get to class and I need to study " Then with an impish expression, he placed a hand on her arm and leaned forward to whisper softly in her ear. "Besides, I wouldn't want to make Tim jealous."
She looked at him blankly for a moment and then he saw a slight flush spread into her cheeks. "Tim Lockhart hasn't said six things to me since the semester started. You're delusional, Atwood!"
"He hasn't said much more to me and we're on the same soccer team and in a class together. But you know what they say, it's always the quiet ones." With a broad grin on his face, he watched her turn and walk rapidly away.
Ryan walked past the biology lab and out into the courtyard. He stood for a moment considering whether or not to take Anna's advice and let the springtime California sun bake away some of his aches. The warmth of the sun on his face turned into an Arctic gale as a voice from behind him interrupted his thoughts.
"Well, that was a touching moment – so sweet. You and your girlfriend sharing a moment between classes." Summer was watching him from the doorway with a little pout of confusion on her face. "Oh, but she's not your girlfriend, is she, Chino?"
"Hey, Summer. What?" Ryan stared at her in surprise.
Summer's pose of casual indifference slipped. It was replaced by anger that seemed to shimmer around her like a visible aura. "Seth told me you were a player, but I guess there's not enough water in Newport to wash away the dirt and stink of Chino." She wrinkled her nose as though offended by an odor as she walked into the sunlight. "I saw you kiss Anna, Chino! Have you been taking lessons from your friend Luke on juggling girls?" Now she was in Ryan's face. Her words grew colder but she never allowed her voice to lose its conversational tone. No one passing in the hallway just feet away would ever guess what was happening.
Ryan blinked at her in confusion. "Lessons? Marissa forgave Luke. They're friends again." He shook his head. "I'm not a player, Summer. Seth exaggerates everything; and I didn't kiss…" He was interrupted by Summer's mocking laugh.
"I know what I saw!" Summer insisted.
"You saw wrong. I was thanking Anna for being a friend."
"Is that how you thank all your friends, Chino? What makes her such a special friend?" She loaded the word special with extra emphasis. Her narrowed eyes and cynical expression left little doubt as to what she thought made Anna a special friend.
"It's not like that. She's not like that! I thought you were friends now. Why would you say that? She helped me…"
Summer interrupted him. "Oh let me guess – with your homework, a ride to the IMAX, apply ointment to your bruises. Oh, I bet that's it!" She clapped her hands like a small child delighted to have gotten the correct answer in a contest. "She helped you with all your little aches and pains." Her words were little shards of glass with which she worked at slicing away tiny pieces of the new Ryan. Each time she spoke she planted another poisoned sliver of doubt. "You're just a little hustler, who tried to con his way off the streets into the good life. Before you know it, you'll be out on the streets alone or back in juvie entertaining the big boys again." Summer laughed at his expression of bafflement
Ryan stretched his hand out toward her but Summer slapped it away. "Keep your hands to yourself. I'm not one of your Chino bitches. That's not how we do it here."
Ryan looked at his hand and then at Summer in disbelief. He'd only intended to interrupt her, to try to get her to slow down, to listen, and she had misunderstood - thought he wanted to hurt her. Ryan began backing slowly away from her.
"Summer, I…" Again she cut him off.
"I told Marissa you were trouble. A little short but maybe good for some sex if she wanted to go slumming but nothing else, and I was right. Marissa's had nothing but misery since you showed up. Now, on account of you, her mom's shipped her off to the funny farm in San Diego."
Summer's accusations came piling one on top of the other, threatening to break him apart like the vehicles that had slammed into the Rover three days ago. He was being whipsawed back and forth but her last words brought things back into focus.
"What do you mean Marissa's gone? What's my fault?" Ryan managed to cut through her stream of words.
"It's simple, Chino. Marissa started drinking on Friday when she first heard from you about the accident. I thought she'd stop when we knew you guys would be okay but she kept drinking right on through the weekend. I had to go up to San Francisco on Saturday and didn't get back until last night. No one was here to stop her, dammit."
"Marissa was supposed to be babysitting Caitlin, but her sister found her passed out by the pool Sunday morning and called their mom. Julie came home from Palm Springs, sobered her up enough to get her into a car, and drove her to the clinic in San Diego run by that doctor who was here after Tijuana. I got all this from Jimmy who's at Julie's taking care of Caitlin. She's still down there with Marissa, not taking any calls or letting any calls through to Marissa. I don't know what's happening!" Summer stamped her foot like a petulant child.
"I thought you could help me get her out like last time but you obviously have your mind somewhere else. So you see, Chino, whatever happens to Marissa will be your fault. You're the reason she's in the shape she is now. You're the reason she started drinking" Summer said this with satisfaction as she watched the play of emotions across his face.
Ryan raised his head and stared at her his eyes bleak and lonely. He'd played out this scene too often in the past and didn't feel like sugarcoating the truth for Summer. "Alcoholics don't need reasons to drink. They only need excuses."
The crack of Summer's hand hitting Ryan's face was startlingly loud within the confined space of the courtyard. "She's not an alcoholic! You wouldn't say that if you loved her." With that Summer turned and stormed out of the courtyard.
Ryan stood in the courtyard rubbing his cheek. He bent down and picked up the books he'd dropped when Summer slapped him. He looked at them for a minute as though not recognizing them and then walked slowly over to a bench, one full in the sun, and sat down.
Ryan sat hunched forward, his hands clasped together, his elbows resting on his knees. He stared at the orderly pattern made by the paving stones spreading out away from the bench. He felt cold. All he needed was for the sun to warm him and he knew he'd stop shaking.