School was out. Summer didn't hold the same appeal for her that it had as a
kid, but it still meant relief from constant school work and classes. Sarah
was also a bit relieved, because summer meant that she would be going home
to her family, to Toby and her parents. Home. Where she would be safe from
everything, even herself.
She thought back to the days after the summoning. It had been such a wild ride...
*flashback*
She woke up late the next morning. Fortunately, it was the weekend, and her roommate was gone on a weekend vacation. She was alone. Or so she thought.
An owl was perched on her dresser. It watched her with wide, intelligent eyes. She stared back, but there was no winning a staring contest with an owl. Even though that's not what it really was.
"Jareth?" she asked, experimentally. Strange as it was to have an owl in her room, what had happened last night was even stranger. She wasn't sure whether she wanted it to be a dream or not. But she had to know.
The owl blinked. She took that to mean 'yes', and then realized how crafty Jareth had been to appear in this form. He couldn't answer any questions this way, and yelling at him would just make her feel stupid and mean, because he couldn't say anything back. And yet, by his presence, he still offered some vestige of comfort to her, all the while staying emotionally distanced himself.
Proud of herself for understanding this, she stood and walked to the dresser. The owl rustled his feathers a bit, but did not spook and fly away, like any normal owl would. Sarah sniffed. If he was going to be a bird, she was going to treat him like one. She offered her arm out and said, "Step up." She remembered saying the same thing to a pet parrot she'd once had. She smiled smugly.
Jareth screeched in outrage and flew around her to the center of the room, where he made the transformation back to human.
"That was really rather rude. I don't believe I've ever spoken to so rudely in my entire life. And I have lived a very long time." Despite his complaints, there was a hint of good natured humor in his voice. Jareth may not have been treated so for a long time, but something told Sarah that he enjoyed being stood up to. She resolved to do it more often.
"I thought you'd be long gone by now," she said, trying to start the conversation casually.
Jareth looked at a point over her shoulder. "I decided I'd stay around for a little while. Just to...make sure you were okay." The last part he mumbled slightly, but Sarah could still make out the words. And the way he said them with such concern frightened her. The Jareth she remembered did not coddle people. He did not feel sorry for them, either. Weird. But then again, maybe she was remembering wrong. Again.
Thinking about that gave her a headache, and she wasn't sure if it was from her scar or from the guilt. "Listen, I'm starving, and it's already ten in the morning. Would you like to go for some breakfast and coffee? My treat. Unless you can magickally make money appear, in which case you are so paying."
Jareth smiled patronizingly and shook his head. "I'm almost certain that there's some rule or another prohibiting the counterfeiting of money and other Earthen artifacts."
"Since when have you ever followed the rules?"
Jareth winked.
Sarah led them out of her dorm room, and down to the bus stop just on the north side of campus. She fished around in her pockets for some spare change, and then gave it to Jareth and used her bus pass to get on. She could tell that Jareth was really quite bewildered by the process of paying for the bus ride, but he covered it up well. Made her proud, really.
They went to a small diner downtown. It was buzzing slightly with activity, and the atmosphere was really very relaxing. It helped Sarah to get away from the fact that she was having coffee and pancakes with the Goblin King. Of course, Jareth looked just as at home here as he did anywhere. Sarah felt more out of place than he did. And it was her world!
Jareth stayed politely silent and distant the entire meal. Sarah started by asking some pertinent questions, like why he had stayed, and why she hadn't remembered the Labyrinth. He dodged the first question, and answered the second one cryptically, saying that that was the way it was. Sarah personally hated that answer, but she could tell that he'd withdrawn back into himself. He was not the owl, not physically, but he was damn close. She couldn't read anything from his facial expression.
She tried not to think about the memories she had, the ones she'd been repressing until recently. Despite Jareth's non-role in them, they were still there. They refused to leave her alone. She still saw the dark alley, and felt rough hands on her body, tearing her shirt and ripping her panties down brutally. She tried not to picture her attacker's rough satisfaction as he had her. She tried not to remember the scrapes on her hands and face from being shoved into the pavement.
Abruptly, she stood up. "I'll be right back, Jareth. I just...need to go to the bathroom."
She knew what had brought the onslaught of images on. She'd been trying to repress the horror ever since she'd woken up. But the knowledge that her rapist was still out there made sure that she would never find peace.
She washed her face and her hands thoroughly. She still felt dirty. Her skin felt like it was crawling and dancing on her bones, and she wished it would just crawl right off.
She splashed her face again and looked at herself in the mirror. She squared her shoulders, and told herself that she would not fall victim to him again. She could be strong. She didn't have to feel his hands all over her, grabbing and pinching.
With that in mind, she walked out to face Jareth again.
When she got to their table, she sat down again, completely composed. "Thanks for staying," she said. Her cheeks colored slightly, but her cool green eyes met his without hesitation. Her posture was one of confidence. "I've been feeling so...out of control recently. It was really reassuring to wake up this morning and realize you hadn't left me. I don't remember you well, Jareth, but you've been so very kind to me...I feel I owe you an apology for what I put you through when I was fourteen. I was young and stupid, and...well, actually, young and stupid's all I've got. So. Sorry. And thanks for staying."
The corners of Jareth's mouth turned up slightly, showing how versatile his facial expressions were. It wasn't quite a smirk, but it was close. "You're welcome, and accepted. Besides, the breaking of my Labyrinth might have been the most interesting thing to happen to me this century. No, wait," he said, and leaned in close. "The second most interesting. You'd have to be the first."
Sarah laced her fingers behind her head. "Flattery will get you nowhere. And besides, I don't think you really know how much it means to me that you stayed last night. I was really pretty freaked out. I mean, you'd just turned my whole world upside down. For the second time, no less. A lesser...Fae would've run when brought against those accusations, but you stayed and comforted me. So thanks a lot."
They ate a comfortable breakfast together, and then went their separate ways.
*end flashback*
She hadn't seen him since. Oh, she'd looked for him. In every tree and around every corner. She looked for a white owl in the sky, searched for his familiar face in every crowd. Her paranoia increased almost tenfold.
Though she never spotted him, she was certain he was there, somewhere, watching her. She felt his presence everywhere, and it comforted her to know that he was watching over her. She knew that to anyone else, it would seem creepy and weird. So, she didn't tell anyone. He was her little secret.
But now that she was returning home, she was worried. What if he decided that she no longer needed him? Would he leave her forever?
Her heart ached as she stepped onto the bus. She'd packed everything she would need into two duffel bags. The bus was crowded and smelly. She felt a prickling on the back of her neck as she made her way toward the back. She tried not to meet the eyes of the other passengers, all of whom watched her curiously as she walked past.
She sat down and closed her eyes. She felt suddenly claustrophobic, and cranked the window down. There was a dirty-looking old man sitting in the row behind her, and she felt his eyes like slimy slugs on her as she sat.
She decided she'd rather sleep than continue to feel like a giant nerve ending. Fortunately, she'd brought her sleeping pills for just that reason.
She carefully popped one in her mouth, took a swig of water from her water bottle, and swallowed.
She turned her head to watch the landscape go by. She knew the pill wouldn't physically take effect for at least half an hour, but already she felt sleepy. The hazy light from the sun faded as she closed her eyes. Soon, she was lost completely to sleep.
***
It was nighttime when she got off the bus. She was so nervous, she waited until everyone else was off the bus before she stood to get her stuff. What had seemed like a good idea was now beginning to feel somewhat like a trap. Sure, her family was great. But she hadn't seen them in such a long time...What if everything had changed? What if they didn't have room for her anymore?
She chewed her lip thoughtfully as she stepped down off the bus. She saw her father immediately, leaning against his car and waiting for her. The parking lot was pretty deserted by this point, and her spider-sense was going into overdrive. It felt dangerous, to go out there. Even with her father standing by.
He saw her and his face broke into a smile. He'd aged since she'd last seen him; there was more white in his hair, and the crow's feet around his eyes had deepened. But he still had a ready smile, and he hugged her warmly in greeting.
"Here, let me take those, Sarah. You must be exhausted! That's quite a long trip to take by bus."
She nodded, just glad to be back among family.
***
Jareth watched her from the safety of his own realm. The crystal ball in his hand shone with her smile. He looked away. Perhaps it was true. Perhaps she didn't need him anymore. Maybe he was just being desperate, holding on this long.
"Sir?" The little goblin was showing admirable courage in approaching him, and in his mood, Jareth appreciated it. So he wasn't quite the tyrant he'd imagined. Well, a lot of things weren't turning out like he'd imagined. And it was better to be loved and feared, if you could have both, and why couldn't he? He was a good king, took care of his Labyrinth, lured victims toward its center to keep it happy. The goblins never suffered more than a misaimed kick from him, despite all their moaning and complaining. His life looked good from the outside. So why did he feel so hollow?
"Yes?"
The little goblin trembled a bit as he spoke, and fidgeted from leg to leg. Jareth suspected that his nervousness was just part of his nature, and really didn't have anything to do with Jareth himself. The scrawny beast's body certainly lent itself to fits of shivering.
"Well, sir, you seem to have been spending a...a lot of t-time on the girl, and I j-just wanted to suggest that...t-that you..."
Now Jareth was angry. Sure, the little goblin had pluck, but now he was questioning Jareth's judgment and feelings. That was just plain stupid, not brave. "And?" Jareth cocked an eyebrow with an expression of steel. For the goblin's sake, he hoped it didn't so much as mention Sarah again.
Taking the hint, the little goblin scurried away, leaving Jareth to contemplate Sarah's pretty face and lovely form as she rode home with her father. She was smiling, and she looked so happy. Gone was the drive for vengeance that he'd seen on her face all those months ago. She was happy again, among family. Honestly, she'd never really needed his protection, such as it was. Or at least, she didn't anymore.
She had when she was fifteen, and he was still too miffed at her to even bother checking in. He hadn't known what had happened to her, and it was all his own fault. He'd let her be raped, when he could have stopped it, just because he hadn't had the common sense to check in on her. His pride had cost her her innocence.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to fend off a growing headache. It would not do to think of such things. He'd promised her his protection, and he would keep that promise, no matter how much it hurt him. She was getting on with her life, and she had probably already forgotten about him.
He shrugged off the pain that thought caused him. It was of no consequence. He would keep her safe, as he'd promised, no matter what.
She thought back to the days after the summoning. It had been such a wild ride...
*flashback*
She woke up late the next morning. Fortunately, it was the weekend, and her roommate was gone on a weekend vacation. She was alone. Or so she thought.
An owl was perched on her dresser. It watched her with wide, intelligent eyes. She stared back, but there was no winning a staring contest with an owl. Even though that's not what it really was.
"Jareth?" she asked, experimentally. Strange as it was to have an owl in her room, what had happened last night was even stranger. She wasn't sure whether she wanted it to be a dream or not. But she had to know.
The owl blinked. She took that to mean 'yes', and then realized how crafty Jareth had been to appear in this form. He couldn't answer any questions this way, and yelling at him would just make her feel stupid and mean, because he couldn't say anything back. And yet, by his presence, he still offered some vestige of comfort to her, all the while staying emotionally distanced himself.
Proud of herself for understanding this, she stood and walked to the dresser. The owl rustled his feathers a bit, but did not spook and fly away, like any normal owl would. Sarah sniffed. If he was going to be a bird, she was going to treat him like one. She offered her arm out and said, "Step up." She remembered saying the same thing to a pet parrot she'd once had. She smiled smugly.
Jareth screeched in outrage and flew around her to the center of the room, where he made the transformation back to human.
"That was really rather rude. I don't believe I've ever spoken to so rudely in my entire life. And I have lived a very long time." Despite his complaints, there was a hint of good natured humor in his voice. Jareth may not have been treated so for a long time, but something told Sarah that he enjoyed being stood up to. She resolved to do it more often.
"I thought you'd be long gone by now," she said, trying to start the conversation casually.
Jareth looked at a point over her shoulder. "I decided I'd stay around for a little while. Just to...make sure you were okay." The last part he mumbled slightly, but Sarah could still make out the words. And the way he said them with such concern frightened her. The Jareth she remembered did not coddle people. He did not feel sorry for them, either. Weird. But then again, maybe she was remembering wrong. Again.
Thinking about that gave her a headache, and she wasn't sure if it was from her scar or from the guilt. "Listen, I'm starving, and it's already ten in the morning. Would you like to go for some breakfast and coffee? My treat. Unless you can magickally make money appear, in which case you are so paying."
Jareth smiled patronizingly and shook his head. "I'm almost certain that there's some rule or another prohibiting the counterfeiting of money and other Earthen artifacts."
"Since when have you ever followed the rules?"
Jareth winked.
Sarah led them out of her dorm room, and down to the bus stop just on the north side of campus. She fished around in her pockets for some spare change, and then gave it to Jareth and used her bus pass to get on. She could tell that Jareth was really quite bewildered by the process of paying for the bus ride, but he covered it up well. Made her proud, really.
They went to a small diner downtown. It was buzzing slightly with activity, and the atmosphere was really very relaxing. It helped Sarah to get away from the fact that she was having coffee and pancakes with the Goblin King. Of course, Jareth looked just as at home here as he did anywhere. Sarah felt more out of place than he did. And it was her world!
Jareth stayed politely silent and distant the entire meal. Sarah started by asking some pertinent questions, like why he had stayed, and why she hadn't remembered the Labyrinth. He dodged the first question, and answered the second one cryptically, saying that that was the way it was. Sarah personally hated that answer, but she could tell that he'd withdrawn back into himself. He was not the owl, not physically, but he was damn close. She couldn't read anything from his facial expression.
She tried not to think about the memories she had, the ones she'd been repressing until recently. Despite Jareth's non-role in them, they were still there. They refused to leave her alone. She still saw the dark alley, and felt rough hands on her body, tearing her shirt and ripping her panties down brutally. She tried not to picture her attacker's rough satisfaction as he had her. She tried not to remember the scrapes on her hands and face from being shoved into the pavement.
Abruptly, she stood up. "I'll be right back, Jareth. I just...need to go to the bathroom."
She knew what had brought the onslaught of images on. She'd been trying to repress the horror ever since she'd woken up. But the knowledge that her rapist was still out there made sure that she would never find peace.
She washed her face and her hands thoroughly. She still felt dirty. Her skin felt like it was crawling and dancing on her bones, and she wished it would just crawl right off.
She splashed her face again and looked at herself in the mirror. She squared her shoulders, and told herself that she would not fall victim to him again. She could be strong. She didn't have to feel his hands all over her, grabbing and pinching.
With that in mind, she walked out to face Jareth again.
When she got to their table, she sat down again, completely composed. "Thanks for staying," she said. Her cheeks colored slightly, but her cool green eyes met his without hesitation. Her posture was one of confidence. "I've been feeling so...out of control recently. It was really reassuring to wake up this morning and realize you hadn't left me. I don't remember you well, Jareth, but you've been so very kind to me...I feel I owe you an apology for what I put you through when I was fourteen. I was young and stupid, and...well, actually, young and stupid's all I've got. So. Sorry. And thanks for staying."
The corners of Jareth's mouth turned up slightly, showing how versatile his facial expressions were. It wasn't quite a smirk, but it was close. "You're welcome, and accepted. Besides, the breaking of my Labyrinth might have been the most interesting thing to happen to me this century. No, wait," he said, and leaned in close. "The second most interesting. You'd have to be the first."
Sarah laced her fingers behind her head. "Flattery will get you nowhere. And besides, I don't think you really know how much it means to me that you stayed last night. I was really pretty freaked out. I mean, you'd just turned my whole world upside down. For the second time, no less. A lesser...Fae would've run when brought against those accusations, but you stayed and comforted me. So thanks a lot."
They ate a comfortable breakfast together, and then went their separate ways.
*end flashback*
She hadn't seen him since. Oh, she'd looked for him. In every tree and around every corner. She looked for a white owl in the sky, searched for his familiar face in every crowd. Her paranoia increased almost tenfold.
Though she never spotted him, she was certain he was there, somewhere, watching her. She felt his presence everywhere, and it comforted her to know that he was watching over her. She knew that to anyone else, it would seem creepy and weird. So, she didn't tell anyone. He was her little secret.
But now that she was returning home, she was worried. What if he decided that she no longer needed him? Would he leave her forever?
Her heart ached as she stepped onto the bus. She'd packed everything she would need into two duffel bags. The bus was crowded and smelly. She felt a prickling on the back of her neck as she made her way toward the back. She tried not to meet the eyes of the other passengers, all of whom watched her curiously as she walked past.
She sat down and closed her eyes. She felt suddenly claustrophobic, and cranked the window down. There was a dirty-looking old man sitting in the row behind her, and she felt his eyes like slimy slugs on her as she sat.
She decided she'd rather sleep than continue to feel like a giant nerve ending. Fortunately, she'd brought her sleeping pills for just that reason.
She carefully popped one in her mouth, took a swig of water from her water bottle, and swallowed.
She turned her head to watch the landscape go by. She knew the pill wouldn't physically take effect for at least half an hour, but already she felt sleepy. The hazy light from the sun faded as she closed her eyes. Soon, she was lost completely to sleep.
***
It was nighttime when she got off the bus. She was so nervous, she waited until everyone else was off the bus before she stood to get her stuff. What had seemed like a good idea was now beginning to feel somewhat like a trap. Sure, her family was great. But she hadn't seen them in such a long time...What if everything had changed? What if they didn't have room for her anymore?
She chewed her lip thoughtfully as she stepped down off the bus. She saw her father immediately, leaning against his car and waiting for her. The parking lot was pretty deserted by this point, and her spider-sense was going into overdrive. It felt dangerous, to go out there. Even with her father standing by.
He saw her and his face broke into a smile. He'd aged since she'd last seen him; there was more white in his hair, and the crow's feet around his eyes had deepened. But he still had a ready smile, and he hugged her warmly in greeting.
"Here, let me take those, Sarah. You must be exhausted! That's quite a long trip to take by bus."
She nodded, just glad to be back among family.
***
Jareth watched her from the safety of his own realm. The crystal ball in his hand shone with her smile. He looked away. Perhaps it was true. Perhaps she didn't need him anymore. Maybe he was just being desperate, holding on this long.
"Sir?" The little goblin was showing admirable courage in approaching him, and in his mood, Jareth appreciated it. So he wasn't quite the tyrant he'd imagined. Well, a lot of things weren't turning out like he'd imagined. And it was better to be loved and feared, if you could have both, and why couldn't he? He was a good king, took care of his Labyrinth, lured victims toward its center to keep it happy. The goblins never suffered more than a misaimed kick from him, despite all their moaning and complaining. His life looked good from the outside. So why did he feel so hollow?
"Yes?"
The little goblin trembled a bit as he spoke, and fidgeted from leg to leg. Jareth suspected that his nervousness was just part of his nature, and really didn't have anything to do with Jareth himself. The scrawny beast's body certainly lent itself to fits of shivering.
"Well, sir, you seem to have been spending a...a lot of t-time on the girl, and I j-just wanted to suggest that...t-that you..."
Now Jareth was angry. Sure, the little goblin had pluck, but now he was questioning Jareth's judgment and feelings. That was just plain stupid, not brave. "And?" Jareth cocked an eyebrow with an expression of steel. For the goblin's sake, he hoped it didn't so much as mention Sarah again.
Taking the hint, the little goblin scurried away, leaving Jareth to contemplate Sarah's pretty face and lovely form as she rode home with her father. She was smiling, and she looked so happy. Gone was the drive for vengeance that he'd seen on her face all those months ago. She was happy again, among family. Honestly, she'd never really needed his protection, such as it was. Or at least, she didn't anymore.
She had when she was fifteen, and he was still too miffed at her to even bother checking in. He hadn't known what had happened to her, and it was all his own fault. He'd let her be raped, when he could have stopped it, just because he hadn't had the common sense to check in on her. His pride had cost her her innocence.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to fend off a growing headache. It would not do to think of such things. He'd promised her his protection, and he would keep that promise, no matter how much it hurt him. She was getting on with her life, and she had probably already forgotten about him.
He shrugged off the pain that thought caused him. It was of no consequence. He would keep her safe, as he'd promised, no matter what.