Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Gimli: So now yer reduced to picking on the Dwarf! Me: That's because you're so fun to pick on. Gimli: Why don't you pick on somebody yer own size? Me: I did. I already picked on Elrond and Legolas.
Gimli: But it was funny when you picked on them. Elrond and Legolas: No, it wasn't. But it IS funny when she picks on you! More! More! Me: Your wish is my command, Oh Elven Ones...
Chapter 10The Game of Life
The journey over the Misty Mountains into Gondor had been uneventful, and as pleasant as crossing a mountain range on foot could be. Elrond couldn't help but think what a difference a pair of leggings had made.
The gleaming white city of Minas Tirith rose in front of them, majestic and spiraling toward the heavens. Entering the city through the Great Gate, they made their way up toward the King's palace. Word of their arrival flew before them and before too long Aragorn and Arwen were aware of their presence in the city.
Unfortunately, they would not be able to greet the travelers any time soon, since Arwen was nearing her thirtieth hour of labor, and both she and Aragorn were a bit distracted.
"Why in Arda is your father here? He was supposed to have sailed weeks ago!" Aragorn said, rubbing Arwen's back during contractions.
"I haven't the foggiest notion, dear. - ARGHHH! KILL ME NOW! - Why don't you ask him when you see him. - ARGHHH! I HATE YOU! - I wonder how Ada came to miss the boat? - ARGHHH! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! - I bet grandmother had something to do with it, though. - ARGHHH! I HATE YOU!"
"You've already said that, dear," Aragorn said as he gently tried to pry his wife's hands from around his throat.
"Please don't lecture me, my love. - ARGHHH! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO TOUCH ME AGAIN! - Didn't they say Legolas and Gimli were with him? - ARGHHH! I HATE YOU! - I wonder if they'll be staying long? - ARGHHH! I SWEAR BY ERU, I WILL CUT IT OFF IF I SURVIVE THIS! - Nice of them to come to see the baby, though."
"Well, it IS his grandchild, and heir apparent to the throne of Gondor," Aragorn reasoned, trying to disentangle a fistful of his hair from Arwen's fist. "Arwen, my love, do you think you could stop screaming that you hate me? I know you don't mean it - that it's the pain talking, but it's wearing on me a bit."
"Sorry, dear, I'll try. - ARGHHH! I WANT TO DIE AND TAKE YOU WITH ME! - I think I'm about ready to push now, darling."
"Wonderful. I'll call the healers...Arwen, my precious one, do you think, perhaps, you could let go of my privates for just a moment while I call them? I can't reach the door while you have them twisted up like that."
Elrond, Gimli, and Legolas had just reached the private living area of the royals, when Arwen's screams reached their ears. Gimli and Legolas grabbed Elrond's arms to restrain him from barging into the birthing room and ripping Aragorn apart.
'You've had babies of your own, Elrond. Surely you remember Celebrian going through this?" Legolas asked, tightening his grip on Elrond's left arm.
"Not in MY day! In MY day, the healers just knocked the woman unconscious, and when she woke up - there was a baby, all nice, and clean, and ready to be fed! Why is he letting them let her suffer like this?" Elrond cried, nearly beside himself with fury.
"It is better for the mother and the baby this way, Elrond! Everyone knows this! It is called 'natural childbirth,' and it is taught in basic healing. You must know this!" Legolas argued, planting his feet to stop Elrond from dragging him any further.
"I don't recall any instruction that said it was acceptable for the mother to be screaming like that! Something is wrong! I can feel it! I am her father, and I just KNOW something is WRONG!" Elrond thundered, launching himself forward and dragging both Gimli and Legolas toward the birthing room.
Just as he got them abreast of the door, the screaming stopped. Silence...then the miraculous cry of a newborn.
"You see, Elrond? Nothing is wrong. That is the sound of your grandchild!" Legolas smiled, patting Elrond on the back. "It sounds like a strong, healthy child!"
"It sounds like a sheep," Gimli muttered.
Luckily, Elrond was too stunned by the revelation that he was a grandfather to notice Gimli's comment. Enthralled by the sight before him as he stepped over the threshold of the birthing room, he silently watched Arwen and Aragorn cuddle their newborn son.
"Ada! Come and meet your grandson! We have named him Eldarion." Arwen called, motioning Elrond to approach. Aragorn, a very proud papa, smiled at Elrond. The three of them stood fussing over the baby, who continued to wail and wave his tiny fists in the air.
Legolas and Gimli stood silently at the doorway, giving the family a bit of privacy, but still observing the baby with great interest. After all, it wasn't every day that a new monarch-to-be was born.
"Laddie," Gimli whispered to Legolas after a while, "Is it supposed to be so red and wrinkly? It doesn't looked cooked yet."
"All human babies look like that at birth, Gimli," Legolas whispered back, craning his head to get a better peek at the future King of Gondor.
"His head comes to a point on top...that cannot be good, Laddie," Gimli fussed, jumping up and down, trying to see.
"Again, Gimli, that is perfectly normal for a human baby. Of course, full blooded Elves are not so...unattractive at birth," Legolas continued, smiling at the happy scene in front of him.
"He is completely hairless! Not a strand of hair on his pointy head!" Gimli cried in a hoarse whisper, astounded at the bald baby.
"Gimli, stop worrying and fussing. The baby is fine!" Legolas instructed, patting Gimli on the shoulder. "Things could not be better!"
"Pointy head...no hair...red and wrinkled...sounds like a sheep...and the Elf thinks everything is fine?," Gimli muttered, shaking his shaggy head. "Methinks he may have a bit of a rough time of it in school."