Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Elrond: Would you please refrain making my character whine! Me: Oh, man...not you again! You are becoming truly annoying. Elrond: I'm annoying? You are making me seem like a buffoon! Me: How many times do I have to drop your britches before you'll leave me alone?

Chapter 12

Trouble

"Laddie...Laddie..." Gimli called, shaking Legolas' shoulder, "wake up!"

Legolas lay face down on his bed, snoring softly, the covers pulled up over his head. His blonde hair was spread out in every which direction, and he still clutched the spoon from the night before in his fist.

"Laddie! Will ye please wake up! Elrond is already dressed and waiting to go! Come on now, boy!" Gimli pulled the covers back from Legolas, causing him to shiver.

"Arghh! Leave me be, Dwarf! I've got a headache...again."

"No time to wallow in self pity, Elf! We've a journey to begin!"

Legolas sighed, and rolled over, throwing one arm across his eyes to shield them from the bright sunlight pouring in through the window.

"ACK! Laddie! What have ye done?" Gimli cried, taking a step back before collapsing in laughter. "Oooh, I remember now..."

Legolas slowly sat up in bed. "What are you laughing at? You don't look your best first thing in the morning, either, you know." He began to run his hands over his face, but suddenly froze when his hand touched his mouth.

"Oh, no..." he whispered, feeling the rough hair on his upper lip and chin. "Oh, Eru, what have I done now?"

He jumped out of bed, immediately regretting it since it caused a white pain to shoot through his noggin. Making his way to the reflecting glass that hung over the dressing table in the room, he peered at his reflection. He knew it was himself, because of the blonde mane and blue eyes, but the mouth reflected back from the glass was definitely not his own.

Several clumps of dark red, wooly hair were stuck just under his nose, and on his chin. He reached up and tried to pull the hair off, but it was stuck fast.

'Gimli! What did you do to me?" Legolas asked, turning to face his short friend. "I look like...like...you!"

"Bah! Not on yer best day, Laddie! Besides, I didn't do that! You did! Ye wanted to have a mustache and beard, so ye tackled me and cut off a wee bit of mine. Ye ran off laughing like a half-wit, and by the time I found ye, ye had glued it to yer face!"

"What am I supposed to do now? I can't go out like this! I look ridiculous!"

"Ye thought ye looked quite handsome last night! Ye were parading around all about the palace, winking and making kissy faces at every female in sight, " laughed Gimli.

"Help me, Gimli! You have to help me! I'll never hear the end of it if Elrond or Aragorn see me..." Legolas pleaded, grabbing his friend by the front of his jerkin and shaking him.

"Alright, Laddie, alright! Stop shaking me or I'm likely to lose me breakfast!' Gimli said firmly, prying Legolas' fingers from his jerkin.

He reached up and grabbed the hair on Legolas' chin, giving a mighty yank. His fingers came away with a chunk of hair.

"OWW! Are you crazy? That hurts! You're taking skin with it!" Legolas cried, slapping Gimli's hands away.

"Sorry, Laddie, but it be the only way to get it off..." Gimli said, staring at the hair in his fist. "Ye best lay down on the bed, so I can get a firmer grip."

Elrond paused at the door of Legolas' room, his hand on the doorknob. He could hear whimpers, shouts, and curses coming from within through the closed door. "What are those two up to now?" he asked himself, "we should have left an hour ago! I can't leave them alone for a minute..." he flung open the door and strode into the room.

He was stopped short at the sight of Gimli straddling Legolas on the bed, "Great Eru! What the devil are you two doing?' he cried, quickly turning his back on the scene before him. "By Manwe's hairy ass, how drunk did you two get?"

"Ach..." Gimli cried, "get yer mind out of the gutter, you prissy Elf! 'Tis not what ye think!" He gave a last pull at the hair on Legolas' upper lip, causing Legolas to yelp again. "The Elfling had a bit of an accident last night with a pot o' glue and a piece of me beard!"

"I do NOT want to know..." Elrond said, refusing to turn around.

Legolas sat up on the bed, throwing Gimli off. He held both hands over his mouth, his eyes watering from the pain of having a layer of skin yanked off with the hair. He walked over to the reflecting glass and peering into it. Most of the hair was gone, except for a few sparse tufts here and there. The rest of his upper lip and chin were bright red.

"It burns like the devil, you lumpy little gnome!" he cried, shooting Gimli a dirty look.

"Don't be such a whiny baby, Elf! Throw some water on it, and get dressed...we need to bid Aragorn, Arwen and the babe farewell and be on our way!" Gimli cried, dismissing Legolas with a wave of his hand.

The trio walked up the main aisle of the throne room, where Aragorn and Arwen sat, receiving guests wishing to see the new baby. Arwen held the infant wrapped in a blue satin blanket, while Aragorn leaned over, talking to the baby.

"How's my big boy, this morning? How's my big diddums? Did my big diddums make a big poopie this morning? Yes, he did! Yes he did!" Aragorn crooned, tickling the baby under the chin.

"Egads, Aragorn. Kindly remember that you are the king. You sound like a nitwit."

"Leaving so soon, Elrond? What a pity," Aragorn replied sarcastically, eyeing his father-in-law. He turned his attention back to his son.

"Ada, must you leave so soon? You just got here yesterday!" Arwen said, not taking her eyes off the baby.

"Yes, I can see how much my departure will destroy both of you," Elrond said sardonically, raising an eyebrow. "We are going to visit Elrohir and Elladan in Rohan. I'll give your regards to Eowyn, Aragorn..."

"By all means, Elrond. See you soon. Bye, bye. Take care. Good journey. Ta-ta. Namaarie," Aragorn waved his hand without lifting his eyes from the babe held in Arwen's arms.

Elrond turned and stalked away, muttering to himself about the idiocy of new parents. Gimli and Legolas stepped up to say goodbye.

"Luck on yer head, wee one!" Gimli said, touching his finger to the baby's tiny nose. "May Eru bless ye with a thick mane of hair someday."

"Lissenen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva, " Legolas said softly, bowing before the tiny king-to-be.

"Legolas...what happened to your face?" Aragorn said, taken aback as he looked up at his friend.

"Er, nothing for you to worry about, mellon min," Legolas said, clapping his hand over his mouth. He waved goodbye with his other hand, turning, and quickly walked out of the throne room, followed by Gimli.

"I never knew anyone who could get into as much trouble as those two," Aragorn said to Arwen, watching Gimli and Legolas trot out of the room.

Aragorn and Arwen promptly forgot all about their visitors, as their son once again captured their attention.

Translations:

Lissenen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva - Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet

Namaarie - goodbye