Chapter Three
I returned from dinner weary but not tired, simply numb. Perhaps it was the medicine Sapphire had given me or that my brain was simply in overload from everything I was feeling, I couldn't tell.
In hopes of occupying my attention I sat down at my desk and then got up and retrieved my backpack from the across the room. Once again settling down, I pulled out my math test book.
Sighing I opened the accursedly think volume and found today's assignment. A flood of numbers assaulted my eyes and for a moment all the formulas swam together in a blurry haze of numerical chaos.
Frightened I blinked repeatedly and watched my vision return to normal. "Ok Serena, you can do this, its just a few algebra questions and you are already half way done, so get to it!" I said prepping myself with a mental kick in the butt.
After three questions I experienced a similar assault to my vision. "That stuff I took must makes you drowsy, and don't they say on commercials of things that make you drowsy not to operate heavy machinery? Well this is ten times worse then trying to run any crane. Its Saturday tomorrow I'll do this then." My reasoning sounded good to me; there was no point in doing the math if I was going to get all wrong anyway.
Reaching into my bag once more I drew out our English novel. It was on old book bound in black with a simple red label on the spine that must have once read "Kathirine by Anya Seton", but now the label was cracked and lines of black showed through. The gold letters had started to fade long ago and now were barely visible.
Serena been given this book, the teacher had given them each a book to do a project on.
At first Serena had been upset at he teacher's choice, thinking it would be stiff and boring, like its cover but as she poured over the pages she found herself severely wrong. The first bit had been a little dull telling of the heroine Katharine, unlikely marriage but now the widower duke had taken an interest in her. Taking great pains to share an intimate moment with Katharine. Things were starting to pick up and reading had gone from a despised chore to something of obsession.
Serena sat on her bed, adjusting her pillows to make herself comfortable. Finally ready she opened the book and found her page.
""We'll not be disturbed here," he said, flinging off his hat and loosening the sackcloth cloak, "I've bribed the aubergiste lavishly. My God, Katrine," he added with a wry laugh, "look to what straits you've brought the ruler of Aquitaine - skulking in sackcloth, bribing frowsy scoundrels for a place of assignation - like a wenching sergeant - you should be proud of your enchantments!"
"What have you to say to me, my lord?" She leaned against the trestle- table because her knees shook, but her gray eyes were fixed on him steadily and their gaze held warning, yet she thought that, in the coarse brown sackcloth, he had never seemed so handsome or so princely.
"What have I to say to you?" He broke off, biting his lips. Since before Prime he had been waiting near the cathedral, knowing that she would come to Mass, and praying that she would be alone. Yet if that dolt of a squire Ellis de Thoresby had accompanied her, the meeting would still have been managed. Since the sight of her on the ship yesterday, she had obsessed him to a point beyond reason - almost beyond caution."
"How lucky Katrine is to have the Duke obsess over her. I wonder if I do anything even remotely close to that with Darien." Serena's thoughts drifted listlessly around her hazy mind.
She looked to her dresser and saw the rose Diamond had given her. "What was the deal with Diamond? Did he ever obsess over her? Perhaps she was obsessing over him to much, her heart still belonged to Darien did it?" There would time to worry about that after, she need to focus on her book, after all Katrine was married, and not to the duke, perhaps she could draw some guidance from her.
""He turned to her suddenly, with violence. "I love you Katrine. I love want you, I desire you, but I love you. I feel that I cannot exist without you. That's what I have to say to you." "
"How romantic, now tell him you love him as well," Serena rooted for the side of destined true love, may hap there was hope for her yet.
"The garden walls melted. A rushing wind lifted and hurled Katherine into a void, a wind - no a river of fire. An agonizing painful joy in the whirling and rushing of this river of fire-
He threw himself down on the bench and seized her cold hands, looking up at her white face. "My dear love," he said softly, humbly. "Can you not speak to me?"
"What can I say, my lord." Her eyes fastened themselves on the blue flower of a borage plant near his foot; she stared at the little blue star while the fiery river throbbed and scorched in her breast.
"That you love me, Katherine - you told me so once."
"Ay,"
"You see, was that so hard, Katherine." Serena asked her adrenalin pumping, she was now lost deep in the world created by the author drinking in the events of the novel.
"She said slowly, at last, "nothing has changed since then. Nothing. Am I am still Hugh's wife - however much I- I love you."
He gave a sharp gasp and bending his head covered her hands with kisses. "Sweetheart!" he cried exultantly, and put his hands on her waist to pull her down to him. She stiffened sand shook her head.
"Nay, but there is one thing changed since we two were in the Avalon Chamber -then you mourned a wife but lately gone, and now you are betrothed to one who will soon be yours."
"There's no love in that, it has naught to do with us. You know that I must marry again, for England - for Castile."
"Yes," she said tonelessly, "I know."
She raised her eyes and tears slid quietly down her cheeks. "I cannot be your leman, my lord. Even if for love of you I could so shamefully dishonor Hugh, yet I cannot, for I have made a scared vow."
"Wait now, what are you doing? He loves you, Hugh doesn't love you, oh!" Serena felt tears prick her eyes; this was not answer she was looking for.
"A vow," he repeated, His hands dropped from her waist, "What vow, Katherine?"
"On the ship," Katherine said, each word dragging forth with pain. "Saint Catherine saved my life, for that I made the vow-----" She stopped and swallowed, looking past him at the sunny wall. She went on in a whisper, "To be a true wife, in thought, in deed, to my husband who is the father of my babies..."
"No, " tears blurred Serena's vision as she continued on, "why was this affecting me so much?"
"... At last John said gently, reasonably, "My foolish Katherine - and do you think the whole ship was saved because you made this vow?"
"I don't know," she answered in the same muted voice. "I only know that I made it and will keep it unto death... "
Serena sobbed and tossed the book on the bed, "Why, why was it so hard for true love to win, couldn't fate get it right for once, just once?"
Her head swam and Serena closed her eyes, letting random things enter her mind. She saw a picture of Darien and her going for a ride in a boat at the lake. "He had always been so good to me, they had always had so much together." Sighing at the happy memories, she reminisced at all the times he had saved her as Tuxedo Mask. How good it felt to be held in those strong arms. The way he smelt, she had known she was his and he was hers. When ever anything went wrong he would be there and she would simply melt into his embrace. Life had made sense, it was simple, she loved Darien and Darien loved her.
The scouts would laugh and joke; everything had been fun and games. She had felt so different, safe, not confused or worried about the next turn her life would take.
"Even if I had cared back then I don't think I would have seen this coming!" Serena snorted indignantly. So much had changed; life was no longer fun and games. Darien no longer held her close, or even held her at all. The scouts were constantly upset and her now that she was actually taking her schoolwork seriously it wasn't becoming less of a burden as she had hoped.
"How do I feel now? I'm not sure. I mean my life is so out of control but yet there is something..."
Diamonds striking face flashed before her, she smiled and wave a guilt washed over her. "What was I thinking, I barely know the man, he must be so much older then I am and really Rinni is right, how well do I know him? Really not very well.
How stupid and faithless could I be? The moment Darien and I start having a bit of trouble I run off and myself falling for another man. I don't deserve either of them. What am I going to do?" Serena rubbed her eyes in frustration. "What can I do?"
Serena sat up and looked across the room at the mirror. Taking a good long hard look at her self, she decided she could skirt the issue no longer; it was time to face the facts.
"What do you see?" she asked herself. "I see, someone who is trying desperately to stay a child and free load her life away." She responded. She looked a little deeper and remembered the few memories she had of her mother, The Queen of the Moon, "It's a good thing you aren't around to see what I've become. What a joke I am. I'm not more then a spoiled little child."
Serena looked her self in the eye and was surprised by the look of her face, it was if Princess Serenity was staring back at her. "I know you are inside of me some where but how do I let you out. How to access you memories and skills? You could do so much and everyone loved you, if I only could be a little like you then maybe I could win Darien's love again."
The image before Serena shifted and it changed. Appearing where Serena's reflection should have been now stood Queen Serenity herself. "Hello my dear," her calm voice flowed out of the mirror.
Serena jumped and let out a yelp. "Mother?" she asked unsure.
Narrator's P.O.V.
The queen gazed lovingly at her daughter; she missed her so much. "Yes, my darling daughter it is me?"
Serena tired to dry her eyes and calm her erratic breath, "What are you doing here?" she asked in a shaky tone.
The Queens heart went out to her daughter and she longed for a way to hold her. "I heard your request, you made a selfless wish, and those that be have chosen to grant it." The Queen said with a look of fond motherly affection displayed on her perfect pale face.
"What do you mean, I didn't make a wish..." Serena looked up, her blue eyes confused.
Queen Serenity chuckled, "Oh but my dear you did, you wished to learn to access the memories of your past life. Your heart has been searched and your motives found pure so I have been sent to help you."
"Really?" Serena rose slowly to a kneeling position.
"Yes, but I need you to come close. Come here where I can have a good look at you." Serenity beckoned to her daughter.
Serena scrambled off her bed and stood before her mirror. It was full length oval shape, framed in ceramic pink. Before now Serena had thought little of it but now she approached it with a new reverence.
Kneeling before it she gazed up at her mother. "Oh my Serena," The Queen sighed affectionately as she leaned down and kissed Serena on her forehead causing her crescent moon to glow bright.
Serena felt her eyes close on their own accord, and a blackness swirl about her, she felt light as if floating and then falling.
When Serena opened her eyes; she was not in her room. Before her she say a screen it separated her from what was beyond. It was more of a wall of glass, clean and translucent but hard and unyielding. Beyond it Serena saw a young women holding a small baby, bundled in white.
The woman had long silver hair, done up in the royal hairstyle; her pale complexion was complemented by her full lips, slender nose and high forehead. Gracing the creamy expanse was the insignia of the white moon royal family. The woman's gown clung to her long graceful forum, fitting her perfectly.
Everything about this woman emanated beauty and sophistication. Serena watched as the woman looked up, glancing at the door as if she expected it to open and someone to join her, no one did. The woman looked strait through Serena and she realized this woman was a younger version of her mother.
Horrified she watched her shed silent tears as the baby, who must have been her former self, slept on.
"My that was such a long time ago and we certainly have come a long way." Queen Serenity said softly almost to herself.
Serena looked at her and saw her mother's eyes fill with pain as she gazed at her past self. "Why were you crying?" Serena's voce sounded hollow and stupid even in her own ears but she had to know.
The Queen was silent for a moment, "I was missing your father. He passed a few moths after you were born. Even at that age you when you were only a few months old you reminded me of him; so free and full of life. You had his laugh, you still do..." A tear slipped form the Queens eye and she brushed it away in one fluid practiced motion.
"I do?" Serena's hand flew to her throat. She had no memory of the man-- or did she?
Queen Serenity chuckled, "Oh yes, you use to love to giggle and laugh and you sounded just like him. Before he passed your father loved to hold you. He would sleep with you asleep on his chest. You were his world, our world..."
Serena stopped listening, it made her uncomfortable to talk of her father, she had no recollection of him and the while thing seemed morbid somehow.
Instead Serena looked at the glass wall and let a few moments of silence pass. She watched the scene before her play out.
Collecting her thoughts she asked, "Where are we?"
"Why we are in your mind. What stands before you is your memories from your time on the moon. Everything you did and learned, all your training and talent is sealed in that glass enclosure." Came the Queen's reposes.
"How do I open it?" Serena asked.
"You did it once before, while you had a fight with the Prince's former guard. After Darien had been wounded. But you have fought Beryl since and your memory wiped and resealed."
Serena waited, that was not the exactly the answer she had been looking for. "Then what would you have me do?"
The Queen sighed "That is for you to deicide. I'm sorry but this you must do on your own."
Serena nodded grimly and stepped towards the wall. Reaching her hand she extended her finger and gingerly toughed the wall. "Yikes," she pulled back her hand as she was greeted with an offending zap. Taking a few steps back Serena watched mystified as a peal of thunder boomed and lighting flashed.
Before her now stood a women dressed in a black sailor suite. She had dark green hair, tanned skin, and reddish eyes. She carried a staff that was in the shape of a key. The scout waved it dangerously and glared menacingly around her eyes coming to rest on Serena. "Who is trying to disrupt the memories deposited here? Speak now or be vanquished," she roared.
Serena flet a hand on her back and her mother pushed her foreword. "Thanks" Serena thought. "It is I, the Princess Serenity." She began in a shaky voice, gathering confidence as she spoke. "I have come to claim what is mine. I ask who are you?"
The scout lowered her staff and bowed to Serena. "My name is Sailor Pluto and I guard the gates of time and the memories of all those who were taken from the moon and reborn in a new time on earth. Forgive me for not recognising you my Princess but there is evil afoot and I can never be too careful." Sailor Pluto said.
"Yes and your years of dedication and serves are appreciated by us all Setsuna." The Queen said stepping out from behind Serena.
"My Queen," Sailor Pluto smiled and bowed low to Queen Serenity.
"I would love to stay and talk with you my old friend but my time is limited and soon I must return." The Queen's voice sounded full of regret.
"Of course" Setsuna waved her hands and a large keyhole appeared in the glass. Taking her staff she inserted it and turned the key. "Come foreword Princess Serenity, it will not hurt you now."
Serena mutely complied, stepping forward. "Stretch out your hands and receive what is yours, Princess."
Serena again obeyed, reaching with both hands. They penetrated the wall and were immersed in the matter beyond.
Suddenly the glass shattered and Serena became vaguely aware her forehead was becoming hot. A strobe of light was emitted from the crescent moon on her forehead. It was what had shattered the glass. Now all that had been contained inside began spinning around Serena.
It wound its way around her ankles and worked upwards till it reached her forehead. There it entered her mind through her crescent moon. The ribbon of colours, shapes and images wound around Serena until it had worked it's way up to her forehead and into her mind completely.
Serena was oblivious to the light show for from the moment the glass shattered; tension had begun to build within her head. It grew as the seconds stretched and she waited for her head to burst. Minuets passed and she began to long for it to explode. Finally she felt that weightless feeling again and right before she succumb to the warm blackness she heard her mother's serene voice. "You were wrong my dear I am terrible proud of you. I love you and I always will..."