TITLE: No Rules
CHAPTER: 1?
AUTHOR: The Chronicler RATING: PG-13 WARNINGS: language UNIVERSE: ATF CHALLENGE: W.O.W. 03-08-04 -- JURISDICTION SUMMARY: A friendly game of football... Friendly? Between ATF and FBI? Ha, yea, right!
ARCHIVE: Pretty please.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.
EMAIL:
No Rules By The Chronicler
The rivalry between the ATF and the FBI goes back as far as the first time two agents stood over a fallen gun and declared as one "My Bust!" The years have passed, bitter battle after bitter battle, a.k.a. interagency cooperation, over everything from jurisdiction to the actual meaning behind the acronyms of each agency to just exactly who egged who's car.... first.
Federal Bureau of Idiocy.
Alcohol Tottin' Freaks Found Bored and Indecent All Totally Fucked-up Frequently Brandishing Impotencey All Totally Fucked-up
"Okay, brains kinda stuck after Impotencey.' But what do you expect?" Buck grinned to his fellows. "They are Feather Brained Imps."
"Imps?" Ezra repeated. "Do you even know what an imp is? And, for your personal information, featherbrained is one word, not two."
"Yea, I know what imp is!" Buck growled. He looked Ezra slowly up and down and back. "Lookin' at one."
"Point!" Josiah brought attention back to himself. "Years of warfare between our two agencies has now come down to this..." He held up a football by one pointy end. "The game of men!"
Casy cleared her throat.
"And women." Josiah quickly added. "Gentlemen and lady; my brothers and little sister, we are here to fight one last battle, to heroically throw ourselves into this last mission for duty, for honor, for justice, for pleasure..."
"A great deal of pleasure." Chris put in, grinding the knuckles of his fist into the palm of his open hand.
"If you win." Ezra pointed out.
Seven steely glares put him in his place right fast.
Josiah opened his mouth to continue, but J.D. had had enough.
"Alright already!" Snatching the held out ball, he jogged for the field. After a few yards, he turned and wondered "Are you all coming? Or do I have to wipe up the Fixated Basal Isinglass all by myself?"
The seven members of his team stared at him.
So, J.D. shrugged, turned and headed off again.
"What the hell did he say?" Vin Tanner wondered, the first to express his absolute confusion.
"Where's a dictionary when you need one?" Buck grumbled, scratching his head.
Ezra shook his head. "Neanderthals." he accused.
Casy laughed. "Yea, an' do you have a clue?" Not bothering to wait for an answer she knew already, she skipped after her boyfriend, humming a happy tune as she went.
Ezra glared at her back.
Chris slung an arm around his shoulders. "Who knows. Kid jus' might come out of this with a head wallopin' an' you'll be the smartest guy on the team again."
The undercover agent looked up at him. "Possibly." he agreed, before shrugging out from under Chris' arm and following the two youngsters.
"Any one else get the sudden urge to bubble wrap little brother John?" Josiah wondered.
"Damn, I knew I forgot something." Nathan grumbled. With no bubble wrap handy, he grabbed the rather large first aid kit from the back of the truck and hauled it out to the field. "Sure hope Raine isn't too long. We're gonna need a doctor."
The first moment J.D. set foot on the field he was bombarded by ridicule from the opposing team.
"Ah, they tossin' the baby to the wolves?" hooted FBI Agent Anthony Gains.
"He ain't big enough to fill a belly." laughed Agent Ollie Marks. "Come on. Give us somethin' we can chew on..... where's that big fella? Where's Sanchez?"
"Come on, guys. Quit wastin' out time on feeder fish!" put in Agent Kenny Brown. But then something new caught his eye. "What is this?" he hollered, stomping across, waving a hand at Casy. "This is no place for a girl!"
"Excuse me?" huffed the FBI's own female agent, Maggie McDonald. She put her fists on her hips and glared at her partner, just daring him to say it again.
his buddies snickering, Kenny quickly tried to dig himself out. "I.... I mean... well, hell, Mag, you ain't no girl! You're an agent! This.... this's jus' a civilian!" He turned to wave a hand at Casy again, only to catch the toe of the girl's boot in the shen.
With an agonizing cry, the big FBI agent hopped around his wounded leg held up and clutched in his hands.
Casy followed up her initial attack by giving the off balanced man a good shove, pushing him over. Her victim down, she continued with a solid kick to the rear.
Before she could do any more damage, J.D. had grabbed the girl by the waist and hauled her back. "Hey! Hey! Save it for the game!"
The whole episode was nothing but sheer delight to Kenny's fellow agents. They hooted and hallored, and laughed, tossing handfuls of grass at their fallen comrade.
"Alright!" FBI Team Leader Jason Richardson snapped as he came on the scene. "That is enough! We are here to show these Asinine Trinket Farts that nothin' beats FBI ingenuity." He paused, standing over Kenny. With a shake of his head, he groaned "Ah, Kenny.... a little girl put you on your ass?" Still shaking his head, he crossed the field to stand at the appropriate spot to start the game. "Who's got the ball?"
Chris snatched the football from J.D. "Let's get to the ass whoopin'." He looked about at his team. "Pick your positions."
In response, as his teammates lined up, Ezra walked over to the bleachers, dusted off a spot, and took a seat.
Chris frowned at him. "Somethin' broken, Ez?" he called, more than a little growl in his tone.
"Nope." the undercover agent smiled. "And I intend to keep it that way."
The ATF team leader doubled up his fists and took a step toward him.
But Jason stopped him. "Hold up, Larabee. Let him sit it out. I'll put Kenny, who apparently needs a little recovery time, on the side line too. That way, any of them gets hurt, we can just replace him and get on with it."
"No time to lick your wounds?" Chris chuckled.
Jason chuckled right back. "You know what, Larabee? I've got my heart set on taking you and your wanna-be's apart." He held out a fist.
"Well, it'll be my pleasure to brake your heart." was Chris' answer, knocking his knuckles against Jason's.
Then the two men went off to their own sides.
Judge Travis stepped between the two teams. He looked at one, then the other with a weary eye. He had a bad feeling about this. He should never had agreed to referee. But least he was there to threaten their jobs when things start to get out of hand. "So, we already had the coin toss. The FBI have the ball." he reminded them. "And, keep in mind, boys and girls, this is FLAG football. I expect each and every person on this field to be able to walk into work come Monday morning." A stern look at each of the team captains let it be known that this was not a suggestion. That done, he took the ball from Chris and tossed it to Jason. "A good, clean game." He stepped back, hoping no one noticed his crossed fingers.
"Alrighty." Jason twirled the ball. "Sammy." He held it up for the youngest and meanest of his team to see. "Whenever you touch this ball, you keep it. Understood?"
The dead eyed youngster's thin lips curled up in a sneer. "That pig skin's mine." he snarled.
Jason hesitated. It was hard enough keeping the boy's blood lust under control in action. He just might kill to keep that ball. Jason glanced at the opposing team. He didn't really want any of them hurt.
But, hey, it was just a friendly game of football. Just a friendly game...
No Rules part 1?
The End
AUTHOR: The Chronicler RATING: PG-13 WARNINGS: language UNIVERSE: ATF CHALLENGE: W.O.W. 03-08-04 -- JURISDICTION SUMMARY: A friendly game of football... Friendly? Between ATF and FBI? Ha, yea, right!
ARCHIVE: Pretty please.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.
EMAIL:
No Rules By The Chronicler
The rivalry between the ATF and the FBI goes back as far as the first time two agents stood over a fallen gun and declared as one "My Bust!" The years have passed, bitter battle after bitter battle, a.k.a. interagency cooperation, over everything from jurisdiction to the actual meaning behind the acronyms of each agency to just exactly who egged who's car.... first.
Federal Bureau of Idiocy.
Alcohol Tottin' Freaks Found Bored and Indecent All Totally Fucked-up Frequently Brandishing Impotencey All Totally Fucked-up
"Okay, brains kinda stuck after Impotencey.' But what do you expect?" Buck grinned to his fellows. "They are Feather Brained Imps."
"Imps?" Ezra repeated. "Do you even know what an imp is? And, for your personal information, featherbrained is one word, not two."
"Yea, I know what imp is!" Buck growled. He looked Ezra slowly up and down and back. "Lookin' at one."
"Point!" Josiah brought attention back to himself. "Years of warfare between our two agencies has now come down to this..." He held up a football by one pointy end. "The game of men!"
Casy cleared her throat.
"And women." Josiah quickly added. "Gentlemen and lady; my brothers and little sister, we are here to fight one last battle, to heroically throw ourselves into this last mission for duty, for honor, for justice, for pleasure..."
"A great deal of pleasure." Chris put in, grinding the knuckles of his fist into the palm of his open hand.
"If you win." Ezra pointed out.
Seven steely glares put him in his place right fast.
Josiah opened his mouth to continue, but J.D. had had enough.
"Alright already!" Snatching the held out ball, he jogged for the field. After a few yards, he turned and wondered "Are you all coming? Or do I have to wipe up the Fixated Basal Isinglass all by myself?"
The seven members of his team stared at him.
So, J.D. shrugged, turned and headed off again.
"What the hell did he say?" Vin Tanner wondered, the first to express his absolute confusion.
"Where's a dictionary when you need one?" Buck grumbled, scratching his head.
Ezra shook his head. "Neanderthals." he accused.
Casy laughed. "Yea, an' do you have a clue?" Not bothering to wait for an answer she knew already, she skipped after her boyfriend, humming a happy tune as she went.
Ezra glared at her back.
Chris slung an arm around his shoulders. "Who knows. Kid jus' might come out of this with a head wallopin' an' you'll be the smartest guy on the team again."
The undercover agent looked up at him. "Possibly." he agreed, before shrugging out from under Chris' arm and following the two youngsters.
"Any one else get the sudden urge to bubble wrap little brother John?" Josiah wondered.
"Damn, I knew I forgot something." Nathan grumbled. With no bubble wrap handy, he grabbed the rather large first aid kit from the back of the truck and hauled it out to the field. "Sure hope Raine isn't too long. We're gonna need a doctor."
The first moment J.D. set foot on the field he was bombarded by ridicule from the opposing team.
"Ah, they tossin' the baby to the wolves?" hooted FBI Agent Anthony Gains.
"He ain't big enough to fill a belly." laughed Agent Ollie Marks. "Come on. Give us somethin' we can chew on..... where's that big fella? Where's Sanchez?"
"Come on, guys. Quit wastin' out time on feeder fish!" put in Agent Kenny Brown. But then something new caught his eye. "What is this?" he hollered, stomping across, waving a hand at Casy. "This is no place for a girl!"
"Excuse me?" huffed the FBI's own female agent, Maggie McDonald. She put her fists on her hips and glared at her partner, just daring him to say it again.
his buddies snickering, Kenny quickly tried to dig himself out. "I.... I mean... well, hell, Mag, you ain't no girl! You're an agent! This.... this's jus' a civilian!" He turned to wave a hand at Casy again, only to catch the toe of the girl's boot in the shen.
With an agonizing cry, the big FBI agent hopped around his wounded leg held up and clutched in his hands.
Casy followed up her initial attack by giving the off balanced man a good shove, pushing him over. Her victim down, she continued with a solid kick to the rear.
Before she could do any more damage, J.D. had grabbed the girl by the waist and hauled her back. "Hey! Hey! Save it for the game!"
The whole episode was nothing but sheer delight to Kenny's fellow agents. They hooted and hallored, and laughed, tossing handfuls of grass at their fallen comrade.
"Alright!" FBI Team Leader Jason Richardson snapped as he came on the scene. "That is enough! We are here to show these Asinine Trinket Farts that nothin' beats FBI ingenuity." He paused, standing over Kenny. With a shake of his head, he groaned "Ah, Kenny.... a little girl put you on your ass?" Still shaking his head, he crossed the field to stand at the appropriate spot to start the game. "Who's got the ball?"
Chris snatched the football from J.D. "Let's get to the ass whoopin'." He looked about at his team. "Pick your positions."
In response, as his teammates lined up, Ezra walked over to the bleachers, dusted off a spot, and took a seat.
Chris frowned at him. "Somethin' broken, Ez?" he called, more than a little growl in his tone.
"Nope." the undercover agent smiled. "And I intend to keep it that way."
The ATF team leader doubled up his fists and took a step toward him.
But Jason stopped him. "Hold up, Larabee. Let him sit it out. I'll put Kenny, who apparently needs a little recovery time, on the side line too. That way, any of them gets hurt, we can just replace him and get on with it."
"No time to lick your wounds?" Chris chuckled.
Jason chuckled right back. "You know what, Larabee? I've got my heart set on taking you and your wanna-be's apart." He held out a fist.
"Well, it'll be my pleasure to brake your heart." was Chris' answer, knocking his knuckles against Jason's.
Then the two men went off to their own sides.
Judge Travis stepped between the two teams. He looked at one, then the other with a weary eye. He had a bad feeling about this. He should never had agreed to referee. But least he was there to threaten their jobs when things start to get out of hand. "So, we already had the coin toss. The FBI have the ball." he reminded them. "And, keep in mind, boys and girls, this is FLAG football. I expect each and every person on this field to be able to walk into work come Monday morning." A stern look at each of the team captains let it be known that this was not a suggestion. That done, he took the ball from Chris and tossed it to Jason. "A good, clean game." He stepped back, hoping no one noticed his crossed fingers.
"Alrighty." Jason twirled the ball. "Sammy." He held it up for the youngest and meanest of his team to see. "Whenever you touch this ball, you keep it. Understood?"
The dead eyed youngster's thin lips curled up in a sneer. "That pig skin's mine." he snarled.
Jason hesitated. It was hard enough keeping the boy's blood lust under control in action. He just might kill to keep that ball. Jason glanced at the opposing team. He didn't really want any of them hurt.
But, hey, it was just a friendly game of football. Just a friendly game...
No Rules part 1?
The End