Disclaimer: NO! I can't say it! It's too depressing! I WILL NOT ADMIT DEFEAT! MY INU/MIROKU!!!! MINE!!! ALL MINE I TELL YA!!!!!! cough yeah… we'll go with that! I gots to run before the lawyers drag me to Sango's prison and /or concerned citizens drag me to a nut house. NO MORE SQUISHY WALLS!!! pant pant
A/N How art thou? I am gloraficisnt! (Cool word, ne?) Sorry for the long wait. This should go much quicker now since Aamalie has been wonderful enough to be my beta reader! readers together "Domo Arigato, Aamalie!" My oneesan, Tasha edited chapy 4. readers together "Domo Arigato, Tasha!" Yay! Okay dear reader, I think you should like this chappy! Our favorite, lots and LOTS of Miroku!
hands out suckers of preferred flavors to reviewers
Aamalie-Yup! Lots of Miroku here! Sorry 'bout Kikyo, she'll get nicer.! Thanx again for beta-ing!
Janna- if you're reading this, I must have bugged you A LOT! lol! Jk! Thanx, but it gets less cheesy (even though I agree, it is now) just keep reading, please! (I'll read yours too. !
Myraid- lol! That would be hilarious! Good guess, but no, sorry. Yeah, I know her…REALLY well, in fact…but that's not quite it. You're very close! Keep trying! !
Gamja the Wolf's Fang- (boy you have a long name!) and a good character you shall be! Yes, poor Kagura! sob !
Lady Illusion- you're right, but that's not quite it. Thanx for reading; keep trying! !
Lady Illusion…again- Thanx I am better! (After a month I would hope I'd be!) I like fay too. Umm…I don't know I haven't really thought about Kanna…I'll have to think about that! Keep trying w/the Olga thing! !
Kage-san- Yo! lol! There! I have quotes by you! Now R&R properly! …or else! Jk! !
Irasuto-hey! Yup! So you will be a good character! Thanx so much for reading! !
Chapter V: Suckers and Jerks
So reach down your hand in your pocket, yeah
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, oh yeah -Match Box 20
He stared. It stared back. He blinked. It stared. He frowned. It stared. He scrunched up his nose. It stared. He stared. It stared.
Miroku sighed, placing the paper he was holding on his desk so that he could stare at it from a different perspective. For the past forty-five minutes, our favorite lawyer and the paper containing Sango's record had been having a battle of wills. It was winning. Miroku had been reading the same paragraph over and over again for fifteen minutes without registering a single word. It seemed that no mater how hard he tried he just couldn't concentrate and/or process a solitary thought, useful or otherwise.
Irritably, he rubbed the bridge of his nose. How anyone could read formal documents, or write them, for that matter, was beyond him. He sighed again and let out a small whimper as his forehead came crashing down to meet the paper on his desk with a painful 'THUMP.' This really wasn't getting him anywhere. He was just too tired, (though it was only 4:39pm) and it was just too boring. He was in a big, sticky quagmire. There just seemed to be no loophole in the law that could assist in proving Sango's innocence. He let out another weak whimper. Now what?
…
….
…..
His head suddenly came flying up with the paper stuck to his forehead. An egg roll! He needed an egg roll! Peeling the paper off his face, he leaped out of his chair in an accurate imitation of an Olympic gymnast and flew to the fridge. He pulled out one of the egg rolls he had stocked up along with hot chocolate mix, tea, Pepsi, ramen, (a habit picked up from Inuyasha) Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, 46 billion Hershey bars, M&Ms, and lasagna: The one and only thing he knew how to cook. (Though not even to an edible state.) As far as he was concerned, this was all one required to survive.
Waltzing back to the table, he took a large bite of his egg roll, sat down, and chewed. And chewed, and chewed, and chewed. "Hm. cough …want some?" he asked, offering his partially eaten egg roll to Sango's record.
….
"No, of course you don't." His eyes started to wander around the living room, settling on his big screen T.V. 'Oh well, it's about time for a break anyway.' he thought, shrugging.
Taking another bite of his egg roll, Miroku walked over to his soft and fluffy beige couch. Though of course, the fact that it was beige was unobserved by him, for we all know that the male gender only recognizes and accepts the existence of the colors white, black, and red. Why? Please don't ask me.
He plopped down and stared at the blank screen. Duh, he needed a remote. Of course he could have just walked over to the T.V. and manually changed the channels, but you know, he was just too lazy.
Miroku dove in the depths of the bottomless black hole, a.k.a. his couch, to dig in between the pillows on his quest for the remote. Eight minutes later he came up with three candy wrappers, 1/3 of a lemon flavored sucker on a stick with little blue fuzz stuck to it, a dirty sock, 68 cents, and two wads of chewed gum.
Wrinkling his nose at his discoveries, he flicked off the wads of gum, chucked the sock and wrappers onto his feather-soft carpet, pocketed the 68 cents and popped the sucker into his mouth.
He sighed heavily and made a big show out of standing up, walking over to the T.V., turning on a news channel, and flopping back onto the couch.
"-ast night," came a woman's voce from the 4:30 news, "The Diamond Dog, a jewelry store in central Tokyo was robbed. It is reported that approximately $4,500 in merchandise has been lost. Police say that it was a clean break-in with very few clues. There were, however, two witnesses. A man and woman walking their dog at night reported to have seen four men dressed in black exiting the jewelry store, only one of which was close enough to see in detail. This man had long, slightly wavy, black hair and creepy brown eyes. He also appeared to be wearing…eye shadow?!"
The news reporter looked up from her notes to someone behind the camera. "Eye shadow? Is that right? Are you sure? ...okay, then…" She cleared her throat and composed herself again. "Police say that this man is the notorious gambler, thief and drug dealer…he apparently was also arrested for …an unpaid parking ticket. Sources say that he is called Naraku. No last name is available."
Hack cough cough hack Hearing the name, Miroku began choking on his lemon flavored sucker. He patted himself frantically on the chest until the offending candy had been spat out, and then proceeded to stare at his television screen in a trance-like state.
"In other news, three elderly ladies attacked two young Boy Scouts this morning when they tried to sell the ladies moldy cookie-"
Miroku stood in front of the turned off T.V. screen. He gaped at it for another two minutes without blinking…then nearly fell over himself rushing to grab his black leather jacket from the back of a chair and keys from the counter as he scrambled out of the door of his apartment.
"Other changes will include a 10% increase in the cost of vending machine candy, and the removal of purple jell-o from the cafeteria menu and…"
'And blah blah blah blah blah.' Inuyasha switched his sucker from one cheek to the other, imitating his older brother in his head. It was a grape sucker. And he was actually his half brother. And Inuyasha didn't like either of them. He preferred cherry suckers…or strawberry, those were good…and chocolate flavored…actually, he liked all other flavors, just not grape. As irony would have it, that was the only flavor available for stealing from Kagome's desk. Sure he could have gone out and bought his own suckers, but that would just be a useless waste of time and money when he could easily "borrow" one from Kagome.
He switched the sucked to the other cheek again. Gods he hated grape. But it was keeping his mind and mouth busy from cracking and yelling his head off at his pompous, conceited, head-of-the-department, contemptible, bore-headed half brother.
Said brother was standing in front of the meeting room table explaining the changes to be made for the summer season at the detective station. His long, silver hair swayed back and forth gently as he lectured. Geesh, did he have a mono-toned voice! Still, every girl imaginable couldn't help but practically throw herself at him. He didn't understand what they saw in him. Now, Inuyasha wasn't one to brag but he had he had a few girls throwing themselves at him too. He smiled haughtily at the thought.
"Further more, all posted notes will be recycled, not thrown away…"
'Gods this is boring! ARRGGG!!! Bored, bored, bored. Soooo bored!' He thought, sighing. His amber orbs scanned the room for something more entertaining to do.
'The vending machine…no, I can't get up in the middle of a meeting. The coffee maker…no I already had four-and-a-half cups. The window…great! I can chuck myself off the eighth story!'
His eyes landed on a girl sitting his left of the meeting table, one seat closer to his beloved brother than he was.
'Oh, this should be fun.' He thought, smirking.
Making sure her attention was fully on Sesshomaru, Inuyasha took a deep breath, leaned a little closer, and blew gently into her right ear.
Kagome's eyes opened a little wider out of astonishment but remained firmly on he boss. 'Just ignore him.' She told herself.
Seeing no reaction from his pray, Inuyasha took another breath and blew into her ear again.
The girl's hands tightened; she grabbed a pen from the table and started to twist the cap.
Inuyasha blew again.
Kagome took a forced deep breath to calm herself. 'Just ignore him. Just ignore that conceited, annoying, vain jerk.'
Inuyasha blew again.
Kagome's head snapped in the offending boy's direction.
"What?" he hissed innocently, having already turned around and was busily writing scribbles on a nearby napkin.
The girl tuned her attention to Sesshomaru again, only to have her ear blown into the second she did so. Angrily, she chucked the pen cap at Inuyasha with out moving her eyes.
"Hey!" he hissed at her, "what was that for?!"
"For making Ivory sales legal. What do you think it was for?!" she hissed back without looking at him.
"Well I don't know, I didn't do anything!" he feigned innocence.
"Yeah, and I'm the empress of Japan." Kagome hissed sarcastically in disbelief.
"And I'm Venus, goddess of Love. Will you two please shut up?!" The two bickering teens were snapped back into reality by a very annoyed looking Sesshomaru.
"Ah, um….sorry, uh, sir," Kagome stuttered, blushing at the discovery that the entire meeting room had been giving Inuyasha and her strange looks for the past ten minutes.
"Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru said, like a scolding parent to a child who had misbehaved himself in front guests.
"Feh!" Inuyasha turned away in his chair folding his arms across his chest.
"Well!" Sesshomaru said loudly to try to regroup the attention of his employees, "Whoever has been taking home the toilet paper from the bathrooms has been warned to discontinue this practice because we will now be checking cars. I think that about wraps it up. This meeting is adjourned."
'Finally!' Inuyasha thought, scrambling to evacuate the Dungeon of Boredom as he had so dubbed the meeting room.
He was just about to fly out the door when the found himself being toppled over by a figure rushing at him at breakneck speed, sprawling both figures onto the meeting room floor with a painful CRASH!
"Aw! Miroku, get off me!" he shouted, muffled, from where he had fallen face-first into the carpet. It was not soft carpet.
Kagome giggled and shook her head as she stepped over the pile of bodies the two boys had created on the floor to gracefully glide out of the room.
"Oh my head!" Inuyasha whined.
"Sorry, dude," Miroku winced, helping his friend up with minor difficulties.
"Man, what's the rush? You'd think Victoria's Secret models were parading the streets in their lingerie, or something!" Inuyasha said, regaining his balance.
A grin spread across our dear pervert's face and a dreamy gleam appeared in his eyes as his mind began to elaborate the thought.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes tiredly. "Don't get any ideas, letch. What'd you come here for?" he asked as every one else left the room, leaving them alone.
Miroku shot back to the real world and a worried looked became edged on his face. "Listen man, I just heard that Naraku was spotted here yesterday."
"Really?" Inuyasha blinked back at him surprised.
"Really?! What do you mean, 'really'?! You're the police- didn't you know?!" Miroku shouted out of frustration added to his already elevated level of stress.
"No."
"How could you not know?! Where were you?!" Miroku inquired.
"Stuck in a frickin' meeting, loosing my frickin' mind. Would you calm down, what's the matter?" Inuyasha asked leaning on the table.
Miroku closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Naraku was spotted last night right here in central Tokyo, robbing a jewelry store. If he's here, chances are he knows which jail Sango is in. You and I both know she's not safe there. He'll come after her, the security on a women's prison is extremely low."
"Oh." Inuyasha said intelligently.
Miroku frowned at his friend. "'Oh,' that's it? 'Oh'?"
"Oh crap."
Miroku closed his eyes again and took deep breath. "We need to get her out of their. She's not safe."
"Well, where would you suggest she stay?" Inuyasha asked skeptically.
…
Miroku's head cocked to this side with a peculiar and mischievous look in his eye…
A/n Ha! I bet some of you already know what he's thinking of! I'm SO sorry that this chappy took so firkin' long, but I lost the disk I had it saved on, but now I found it! Yay! This chappy was rather odd, but I had fun w/it. Hope you did too. Next one will be out soon!
I'm sure all of you are well acquainted w/my good friend, the review button, right?
Incase you're not, let me formally introduce you!
Review button, much appreciated and adored reader.
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RQD
"You can't have your cake and eat it too, but you can have your cake and eat someone else's!" –Me!
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