Disclaimer; I own Slingblade (a.k.a. Silica) and the plot. That's it.
Warning: Due to language and violence, this series is rated PG.
Ulysses
Chapter 3
Welcome to the Jungle
by Switchblade X
"Welcome to the jungle,
It gets worse here every day.
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play.
If you got a hunger for what you see,
You'll take it eventually.
You can have anything you want,
But you better not take it from me."
-- Welcome to the Jungle, Guns N' Roses
............
Rattrap looked up from his poker game when Slingblade exited the elevator.
"Hey." she said, flopping unceremoniously into a chair at the table that occupied the middle of the command center.
"Hey." he cautiously replied, studying her closely.
Slingblade's body was royal blue, but her thigh-high leg armor and three indented lines on the armor that covered both of her forearms was royal purple. The rest of forearm armor was black, as were her feet. Her thighs and chest were covered with her beast mode's skin, her shoulder armor had three sections that alternated between silver and black, and her helmet was black except for three small crest-like designs that met in a point in the center of her forehead, which were silver. Her optics were a strange shade of bright-ish green.
All of her weapons were visible; her biggest sword and a short-blade sword hung by her left hip, and two smaller blades were attached to the inside of her left calf. Rattrap found this strange. Why would anyone want their weaponry to be visible? And did she have any weapons other than blades? Surely she had optic-lasers or something!
The ex-medic cocked an eyebrow, "Problem?"
He snapped out of it, "No."
She studied him closely, "You don't trust me, do you?"
"Not in da least bit."
"I didn't think so."
"I mean, you're a Decepticon; I'd have ta be crazy ta trust you."
She sighed, "You and the rest of the universe."
For a moment, he didn't say anything. "…You ain't mad?"
Slingblade shrugged, "Why should I be? I'm used to it."
"Oh."
Silence fell between the two.
Slingblade folded her arms on the table and rested her forehead on them, sighing heavily. "...Rattrap?" she finally asked, not bothering to raise her head.
"Yeah?"
"Is Dinobot always so…bitchy?"
"Yeah. Ol' Chopperface has some serious attitude problems."
"How do you deal with him?"
"Well, personally, I jus' throw it right back at 'im. Ever'body else usually takes it. Why d'ya ask?"
"Just wondering." She stood, "Thanks."
"Uh, sure." He turned back to his game, but kept an optic on her just incase.
"I dunno about everyone else, but I'm goin' to bed."
"Have at it."
"See ya later." She started out of the command center, but paused in the doorway, "Rattrap?"
"Yeah?"
"It doesn't bother me that you don't trust me. Frankly, I don't trust you, either." And with that, she disappeared down the hallway.
................................................................................................................................................
"You stupid little bitch!" a tall mech yelled, smacking a girl so hard that she fell to the floor of the hallway. "What part of 'I want to see my reflection in these walls' do you not get?!"
The little girl raised her hands in a futile attempt to shield herself from her creator's wrath. "P-please, Daddy, don't hit me again! I'll do it right, I promise!"
"You'd better to it right!" he raged, kicking her across the floor.
She bounced off of a wall and curled up into a ball, whimpering.
"Oh, no! Don't you start this cryin' shit!" He grabbed the metal pipe that he used to "discipline" her with, yanked her up by one small arm, and preceded to beat her as hard as he could. "Do these walls again! And I'd better see myself this time! Otherwise, I'll kill your scrawny little ass!"
"Yes, Daddy! Of course! Whatever you want, just please stop hurting me!" she sobbed.
He smiled, "I'm not hurting you, Silica; I'm teaching you right from wrong. Now, until you stop blubbering, I'm gonna have to keep teaching you right from wrong."
She knew what was coming next. "No! No, Daddy, please!" she screamed, as he dragged her into the kitchen.
"This is the only way you'll learn." he said, handcuffing her to a chair, leaving her back exposed to him. He opened a nearby drawer and removed an energon whip. "You've been a bad girl, Silica; Daddy's gonna have to teach you a lesson."
................................................................
"NOOOOO!!!" Slingblade screamed, sitting up on her recharge bed as she awoke from her nightmare. Her back stung at the memory. Instinctively, she looked around her quarters, making sure that she was alone. That done, she pulled her knees up tightly to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, and rocked back and forth for a long time, trying to stop her shaking and slow her breathing. "It was a dream." she whispered, darkening her optics. "A dream and nothing more. He's dead now; you yourself killed him. He can't hurt you or anyone else ever again."
There was a soft knock on her door.
She jumped.
"Slingblade?" Optimus asked from the other side. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine." she answered, rushing to the door and opening it.
"Are you sure? You were screaming bloody murder."
"I'm sure. It was just a nightmare; I'll be fine."
He studied her for a long moment, sensing that this hadn't been an ordinary nightmare, but not wanting to invade her privacy. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. Thanks for your concern."
"Well…okay." He was reluctant to leave her, "If you want to talk about it, I'm in the first room on the right."
She forced a smile, "Thank you anyway, Sir. I'll be okay."
"If you say so." He turned and headed back up the hallway, casting a backward glance at her.
Slingblade shut her door, and trudged back to her bunk. Sleep would definitely not come now, not after an episode like that. She sighed as she sat down. "You're gonna have to get a'hold of yourself, Slingblade." she said, looking out her small window. "You can't start this nightly-nightmare crap again."
In the back of her mind, she could hear her creator laughing at her, laughing at her weakness. She shuddered, stood up, and headed for the door. She had no idea where she was going, but she needed to take a walk; hopefully it would clear her mind. Hopefully.
...............................................................................................................................................
She ended up following her patrol route. She hadn't intended on going this way, but she didn't know the territory well enough to go anywhere else, plus it was dark; she really didn't want to run into any Predacons in the dark. So, she walked along her patrol route in beast mode, trying to clear her mind.
She wished her memory had been erased like it was supposed to have been. If that had happened, she wouldn't have to deal with her nightmares, wouldn't have to deal with her past as a Decepticon, wouldn't have to deal with anything but the Beast Wars.
But no, no, that would have been too easy. Losing the memory of her hellacious life would be too good for someone like her. No, she was damned to an eternity of nightmares and mental disorders.
She kicked a rock out of anger. Haven't I endured enough? she wondered. For Primus' sake, I've spent more than half of my life in the deepest pit of hell! That's a long time! Don't I deserve a little down time?
You don't deserve the air you have no choice but to breathe. sneered her creator's voice.
She silenced the voice with a violent shake of her head, snarling at her inability to silence the voice permanently. It was then that she realized where she was. "Damnit." she growled, glancing around the valley. "Why is it that I always end up here?"
"You like tormenting me, that's why."
Quickly, she spun around to face Dinobot, who had appeared out of nowhere behind her. How the hell? she wondered. I thought he went back to the base! "I don't torment you."
He snorted.
"Why are you always here?"
"I was supposed to have died an honorable death here! But, someone took that away from me!"
She sighed, rolling her eyes, "Oh, please. Not this again! Dinobot, I don't mean to sound rude, but, get over it!"
Before she had a chance to react, he spun around, knocking her feet out from under her with his tail.
Slingblade grunted when she hit the ground.
Quickly, he pinned her. "I could kill you right here, right now." he growled.
"Do it!" she challenged, struggling against him. "I have nothing to live for, do it!"
"Foolish girl!" He started for her neck, but she managed to free her legs and kick him off.
Quickly, Slingblade got to her feet and rushed him.
Dinobot regained his footing just in time to whirl around and slam her with his tail.
Slingblade barely managed to roll out of the way before Dinobot lunged at her. Taking advantage of this momentary loss of balance, she pounced on him, digging her claws into his side and her teeth into his back.
Dinobot roared as he fell. Instead of staying down, he rolled, pinning Slingblade again.
She wrenched her arms free and dug her claws into his neck. For a moment, she considered transforming, but decided against it. She wouldn't transform unless he did.
He snapped his head to one side, knocking her loose. He tried to clamp his jaws around her neck again, but she moved at the last second.
Before he could strike, she squirmed out from beneath him, then tackled him.
This little wrestling match went on for quite some time. Finally, both raptors faced each other, winded, wounded, and barely able to stand.
"You're…better than I thought…you were." Dinobot panted.
"Thanks." Slingblade replied. "You're…not so bad yourself."
"It…has been a while…since I fought with someone whose strength matched my own."
"Same here."
"I will kill you."
She spread her reptilian arms, "Bring it on; I can go another round or two."
He shook his head— "Not today."— and headed back toward the Axalon, disappearing into the darkness.
She watched him leave, then headed back the way that she had come.
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"What happened to you?" Rhinox asked as Slingblade stepped off of the elevator.
"Nothing." she lied, heading over to one of the CR chambers.
"Slingblade…"
She sighed, "I had a run-in with Dinobot, okay? It's no big deal."
"No big deal? You look like you got into a fight with a machete and lost."
She grinned, and stepped into the chamber. "In a way, I did." she said before the door shut.
The elevator lowered, then came back up with Dinobot.
"Why did you attack Slingblade?" Rhinox asked.
"What makes you think that I attacked her?"
"Well, the fact that you hate her more than Megatron seems like a pretty good reason."
He limped over to an open CR chamber and programmed it, "What I do in my spare time is none of your business."
"Dinobot, you attacked your own comrade!"
"She is not my comrade!"
"Yes she is."
"I refuse to call that thing 'comrade'! She is a pestilence that must be eradicated, and I am going to be the one to do it!" And with that, he disappeared into the CR chamber.
Rhinox sighed and tapped his comm, "Rhinox to Optimus."
A groggy voice answered, "Optimus here. What's up?"
"Dinobot attacked Slingblade."
"What?! Is she hurt?"
"Yeah, but she managed to get back to the base by herself and program her own CR chamber."
"And Dinobot?"
"She fought back hard; he's pretty torn up."
Optimus sighed, "Don't let them go anywhere; I'm coming up."
"Can do. Rhinox out."
................................................................................................................................................
Slingblade transformed upon exiting the CR chamber. She stretched and began to yawn, but stopped in mid-yawn when she saw the looks that Rhinox and Optimus were giving her. "Uh-oh."
Optimus crossed his arms over his chest, "I believe you have some explaining to do."
"There's nothing to explain." She shrugged, "I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk. I ran into Dinobot and we had a little scuffle. No biggie. Then, I came back here."
"He attacked you."
"So? I've fought bigger guys than Dinobot before."
"I know that. My question is this; why didn't you report it immediately?"
"Was I supposed to?"
"Yes."
"Oh. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, I mean, I'm used to getting into fights."
Optimus sighed, his arms falling to his sides for a moment. "Slingblade, this isn't the Decepticon Army. We try not to fight amongst ourselves."
"I know. But, hey, even the Autobots had fights within the ranks."
"Only after you joined them. And, ninety-nine-percent of the time, you were right in the middle of it."
"Well, yeah, but that's beside the point."
"And the point is…?"
"Uh… Good question."
"The point is this; Dinobot attacked you and you didn't report it because you thought that it was no big deal. And, it wouldn't be a big deal if you were still a Decepticon, which you're not. You're a Maximal now, Slingblade. Maximals don't fight amongst themselves."
"Okay, okay, I get it. Geez." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, "I still don't see what all the fuss is about. I mean, yeah both of us got hurt, but at least both of us were able to come back on our own."
"If you need protection from him, you have three options; I can confine him to quarters, I can assign you a full-time body guard, or I can assign you a different shift so that you won't see him."
Now, she was starting to get offended. "I don't need 'protection', nor do I want it! I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"
"Slingblade, Dinobot could've easily killed you." Rhinox said. "It's a miracle that he didn't."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you telling me that this little punk who is several hundred years younger than me can kill me?"
"Yes."
Slingblade laughed, "You guys really are nuts!"
"I'm serious."
Abruptly, her laughter stopped and she became rather grim. "So am I. Look, I don't know about everyone else, but I can take care of myself. I don't need to report every incident that I get into, and I sure as hell don't need protection from someone that I am perfectly capable of dealing with myself. Now, I appreciate your concern, but I'll be okay. I'm not going to worry about Dinobot, and neither should you."
The other CR chamber opened, and Dinobot came out, transforming as he did. He immediately saw Slingblade, and snarled at her.
She flipped him off in reply.
"Dinobot, you're confined to quarters until further notice." Optimus said.
"WHAT?!" both Dinobot and Slingblade demanded.
"Optimus, there's no need to punish Dinobot on account of me!" Slingblade protested.
"Slingblade, shut up. He attacked you for no good reason, and needs to be disciplined for it." Optimus snapped.
"But-"
"I said shut up!"-he pointed to Dinobot-"Your confinement starts now. Get going."
Dinobot snarled, and turned to go.
"Optimus-" Slingblade started, but he interrupted her.
"Slingblade, I said shut up! I've had enough of your nonsense and his! Dinobot, go!"
Not wanting to be caught up in one of Optimus' rare bad moods any more than he already was, Dinobot stalked off toward his quarters.
Optimus turned back to Slingblade, "And as for you; get out of my sight before I decide to confine you as well."
Slingblade raised her hands in surrender, "Fine, whatever. I don't need this shit, anyway." She turned to leave, but stopped and turned around. She pointed to Optimus, "I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he decided come after you next." And then, she was gone.
"Was that really necessary?" Rhinox asked.
Optimus sighed, all of his anger spent, "I don't know. Probably not. …But, it's three o'clock in the morning, no one slept last night and I for one am very tired, and I'm also tired of my troops bickering amongst themselves." He paused for a moment, "Maybe I went too hard on them."
"Slingblade, maybe, but not Dinobot. He does need to cool his jets, especially after what happened."
"You're right. I guess I did go a little hard on Slingblade; she is the victim here. …She just makes me so mad, you know? She won't let us help her, she won't let us keep Dinobot away from her, and she thinks that she can take care of herself when she can't. She's not a thirty-foot killing machine with the rank of general anymore, and she doesn't seem to realize that." He sighed, "I honestly don't know how the Autobots put up with her."
"They didn't, most of the time. They tried to, though, they really did. She was just too much of a Decepticon for them, I guess."
"Yeah… One more thing that I don't get; why does she remember every detail of her life prior to being put into the protoform state? Shouldn't her memory have been wiped clean?"
Rhinox nodded, "It should have been. Obviously, someone was shirking."
Optimus nodded, "I think that's what worries me the most about her."
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Slingblade dropped the pile of metal, wires, and assorted junk that she had snuck back to her room on her bunk. After she had left the command center, she had located the junk room and had dug through its contents, looking for the parts that she would need to make an audio player. If she was going to be stuck here, she might as well entertain herself.
Maximals are so wasteful. she thought, sorting the large pile into several smaller piles. That junk room is full of useful things! I bet I could construct a fully functional hovercar if given enough time, and still have enough left over to whip together a motorcycle. …Hey, that's not a half bad idea! Heh heh, I'm turning into a Chopper! Cool.
Making an audio player wasn't hard; she'd done it before. This might take maybe fifteen or twenty minutes, depending on how tough the metal was.
Humming to herself, she dug her tools out of a concealed compartment in her left hip and got started.
So…this was Earth. This was the place where a lot of her friends fought all those years ago. She'd never been called to Earth during the Great War, although she wished she had been. After the war, other Decepticons and even some Autobots told her about their experiences on this tiny little planet. This had, naturally, sparked her interest even more.
The creatures called humans especially interested her. The idea of bipedal fleshlings that were so backward it was hilarious fascinated her; she had to see them for herself.
So, shortly after she had been reformatted into a Maximal, she had secretly taken a road trip to Earth to see the humans. She stayed on Earth for quite some time, studying the humans and their culture.
A few days after she had begun her secret study, she found that she didn't like humans near as much as she thought she would. They were rude, obnoxious, loud, messy, careless, cowardly, and downright stinky. They had no concern for their planet or the creatures that shared it with them and polluted their environment like it was no big deal. They also had no concern for their fellow humans; it was truly every man for himself on Earth.
Oh, sure, she found some decent humans while she was there, but they were few and far between.
And, human technology was absolutely atrocious. Cybertronian infants played with more advanced toys! But, perhaps what got her the most was how arrogant they were; they thought their technology was the most advanced in the universe, and most of them thought that humans were the only race in the universe. Talk about close-minded!
She had almost given up her study when she discovered more of their culture. She immediately fell in love with human music, cars, and literature, even though she wasn't too fond of the humans themselves. Their accents, however, amused her; it was incredible how much variety there was in the people who lived relatively close together. She liked they way humans talked.
As any scientist would do, Slingblade collected tons of specimens before she left; most of what she collected was music and literature, part of it was pictures that she had taken, and the rest of it was information and schematics that she had gathered in the form of notes.
When she had returned to Cybertron, she had spent several weeks organizing her "specimens" and rereading her notes. Once that was done, she came to this conclusion; Humans were a backward race that was never going to make it and, frankly, weren't worth studying. The only things that saved them from being qualified in her mind as a useless race of idiots were the things that she had fallen in love with.
She was glad that she had studied humans, though; they had taught her to never study other races on her own ever again. But, she'd had some fun on her road trip while she was working. Now, all she had to do was keep quiet about it; no one knew about her trip, and if the Autobots and/or Maximals ever found out about it…
She didn't want to think about what would happen to her if they ever found out. Making an unauthorized trip off-world was against the law. A lengthy prison sentence usually followed if you were caught. She was determined not to get caught.
That hadn't been too long ago, come to think of it. And now here she was, back on Earth again. Only this time she was in the past, not present. It was almost ironic…
Done! she thought, inspecting her finished audio player. Not bad to be made out of junk. Now, let's see if it works… She opened the subspace compartment in her right forearm that she kept her personal things in, pulled out an audio chip, and inserted it into the player.
The audio player hummed to life as soon as the chip was placed in its drive. As it read the chip, Slingblade adjusted the volume; she didn't want to wake everyone else up.
Beethoven's Fur Elise began to stream smoothly through the speakers.
Slingblade smiled, and shut the open compartment in her arm. Everything that she had brought back from her secret trip to Earth was filed neatly into that little subspace compartment along with a photo album that was filled with pictures of her friends, most of whom were long dead, and her journal; these were the only valuables she owned.
Thank Primus for subspace compartments that are easily concealed. she thought, leaning against the wall that her bunk was secured to. She had made that compartment herself before she had left her childhood home, and was rather proud of it.
As the song ended, she stopped the audio player, removed the chip, and returned it to its place in her forearm. Then, she sat the audio player on the little nightstand beside her bunk, and lay down. Maybe I should try to sleep again. she thought, darkening her optics, and preparing to go into recharge mode. It couldn't hurt.
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Silverbolt was jolted awake by a piercing scream. For a moment he wondered who it was, but then it hit him. Slingblade! he thought, rushing out of his quarters and praying that Dinobot wasn't the cause of her distress.
Her door was locked, but her light was on.
"Shit." he growled, kneeling down. In a few seconds, he had the lock sprung. How he got this knowledge he didn't know, and right now, he didn't really care. "Slingblade!" he exclaimed upon opening her door.
She was alone in her room, sitting on her bunk with her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms crossed over her knees, and her face buried in her arms. She was shaking violently and appeared to be hyperventilating.
"Slingblade?" he asked, cautiously walking over to where she sat. "Are you all right?"
She shook her head, not looking at him.
"What's wrong?" He could hear the others coming as he sat down beside her.
Again, she shook her head.
"Please tell me. You had me really scared there for a minute."
This time, she raised her head. Liquid was streaming from her eyes.
Oh, Primus, she's crying. Silverbolt thought. Briefly, he wondered how she managed to cry while in robot mode, but decided to ponder that at some other time. "Slingblade, what's wrong?" he asked, scooting closer to her and wrapping her in a tight embrace.
She buried her face in his neck as sobs shook her body.
Gently, he rubbed her back with one hand and began to slowly rock from side to side. "Shhh, shhh…it's all right. I'm here, I'm here. You're going to be all right." he soothed, wrapping his wings around her and leaning his head against hers. Something was really wrong with her; it was starting to scare him.
"What's going on?" Optimus asked, as he and the rest of the team rushed into Slingblade's room. Only Dinobot was absent.
"Yeah, what gives?" Rattrap demanded. "I was sleepin' good 'til somebody screamed."
"I don't know." Silverbolt answered. "She won't tell me."
Cheetor knelt beside Slingblade, who was clinging to Silverbolt for dear life. "Blade? What's wrong?"
She tried to answer him, but ended up crying harder.
"I bet it was another nightmare." Optimus said, walking over to stand beside Cheetor.
Silverbolt looked up at him, "Nightmare, Sir?"
"You didn't hear her earlier?"
"I wasn't here earlier; I hadn't gotten back from my patrol yet."
"Oh. That's right. …Anyway, she woke up screaming just like that earlier tonight."
"Looks like dis time was worse." Rattrap said, leaning against the opposite wall.
"Frequent nightmares can be very damaging, Rattrap." Rhinox pointed out, standing beside Silverbolt.
"I dunno why y'all are makin' such a fuss over her." Rattrap continued. "She's a Decepticon; she c'n take care 'a herself."
"She's a member of this team, Rattrap." Optimus corrected. "And teammates care about each other."
Rattrap made a dismissive gesture, and fell silent.
"Where is Dinobot?" Silverbolt asked.
"He's confined to quarters until further notice." Optimus answered. "Why?"
The Fuzor looked down, "I…thought he might be…harassing…Slingblade. I see now that I was wrong."
"I'm glad you were."
"Me, too."
"How'd you get in here, Bolt?" Rattrap asked.
"I…broke in. The door was locked, so I had to spring it."
"Since when do you know how ta get past locks?"
He shrugged, "I don't know. I just did it."
Slingblade finally calmed down enough to pull away and wipe the tears from her face. She uncoiled a bit, stretching her cramping legs.
Cheetor took one of her hands, "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake everybody up." she said, her voice wavering.
"That's all right, Slingblade." Optimus assured, "Everyone has nightmares every now and then."
"I'm really sorry."
"It's okay. Don't worry about it."
She nodded, and darkened her optics.
"Are you going to be all right?"
"I will be."
"I don't suppose you feel like talking about this one, do you?"
She shook her head.
"Thought so." Optimus reached out, and put a hand on her shoulder, "If you need to talk about it, you know where I am."
"Thank you, Sir."
Silverbolt tapped Optimus' arm. When the Maximal commander looked at him, he mouthed, "I'll stay with her until she calms down."
Optimus nodded, then motioned for the rest of the team to leave.
Before he left, Cheetor gave Slingblade a quick hug. "I'm here if you need me." he whispered.
She nodded, "Thanks."
Only after everyone else had left and the door had closed did Silverbolt speak. "You need to try to sleep, Slingblade."
"I can't. Not after that."
"Yes you can."
"If I go back to sleep, the nightmares will come, and I'll wake everybody up with my screaming again."
"You don't know that."
"Yes I do. The nightmares come every time." She shuddered, "And they keep getting worse and worse."
He looked at her for a while, studying her. Something was really wrong with her. Not even Cheetor screamed that loud when he had a nightmare. It bothered him to think of someone like Slingblade having nightmares that were so bad she woke up the entire base. It had also bothered him to see a warrior as seasoned as her quivering and sobbing because of a bad dream.
She was still shaking, come to think of it.
He stood and, before she had a chance to argue, laid her down. "Please rest. You can't function right if you're not rested enough."
She sighed in surrender, "All right. But only on one condition."
"And that is?"
"…Will you stay with me? Just for tonight?"
He smiled, "All right. But you have to hold up your end of the deal."
"Done."
Carefully, he lay down beside her.
"Lights off." she said.
At once, the room was plunged into darkness.
Silverbolt stared up at the ceiling for a while, arms crossed behind his head, wanting to go back to sleep, but knowing that he'd better wait for Slingblade to drop off first.
Slingblade rolled onto her side, trying to give him more room. The bunks hadn't been made for two, after all. "Scoot over; I don't want you to fall off of this thing."
Obediently, he moved over a bit.
She snuggled into his side and rested her head on his shoulder. After a moment, she draped one arm over his chest.
"You're still shaking." he whispered.
She nodded, feeling him wrap his arms around her.
"Everything's going to be all right, Slingblade. I promise."
Author's Note; Incase you haven't figured it out by now, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses inspired the title of this fic. Thanks to Wayward for the review. Your opinion is much appreciated. More to come!