I do not own the Teen Titans or anything in their universe.
Chapter 2: Leadership's Price
Robin sipped thoughtfully from his glass of iced tea, staring at Beastboy as the green little changeling devoured his dinner. Beastboy had always seemed like an unsinkable fount of humor to him(Most of it bad, he thought wryly), but it seemed that Terra and her sudden departure had made quite an impact on him. Robin and the others had been worried when he had spent days skipping stones and moping around in a deep depression. Starfire had never seemed very close to Beastboy, but they seemed strangely bonded now. Maybe it was the fact that they both liked Terra, Robin thought to himself.
Starfire had tried her best, in her own strange way, to help Beastboy. It hadn't worked though. Everything from Tamaranian hugs to pudding of sadness was met by a blank stare. Robin shuddered at how Beastboy had eaten some of the wretched pudding, only to thank Starfire and walk away. Cyborg couldn't get him interested in his favorite games on the gamestation, or even get him out to the video store. He and Raven were at a loss. Raven brought him herbal tea spiked with valerian root to get him to sleep for a few hours. Robin did his best to make sure that Beastboy didn't hear the alarms. He was in no condition to fight the various losers with super powers that plagued the city.
Keeping the peace in the city hadn't been easy, either. He didn't want to tell Beastboy, but HIVE had attacked two days ago, and without Beastboy's unpredictable tactics and shapechanging powers, they had barely stopped Jinx from wrecking the main bridge over the bay. We're getting better, Robin thought to himself as he remembered the satisfying crunch his fist had made when it had connected with Mammoth's left temple, and how Starfire had blinded Jinx by making her star bolt explode in mid-air before Jinx could redirect it with her power. Raven stole the spotlight by shredding Gizmo's backpack in an awesome display of power. Robin wasn't so happy when he remembered the rest though.
Cyborg was hit by one of the loosened bridge cables, and had been knocked out cold. Mammoth had thrown Robin against one of the bridge supports right before Robin had hit him with an electrified disk. Raven had been caught in a wire net thrown by Gizmo's exoskeleton, and had lost control of her powers for a moment when her claustrophobia kicked in. At least we won, Robin thought to himself but Starfire had to help us all get home. Robin shook his head. His bruises had not healed completely from that incident.
He looked over to see Beastboy still eating like a starving wolf. No big surprise there. Beastboy probably hadn't eaten all day. Robin and the others had gone out in the morning when they had found Beastboy staring at the ceiling. Raven had pulled Robin aside to tell him that she had found him awake in the same position around midnight when she had gone out on the roof to meditate. Beastboy's condition had them all on pins and needles- they didn't know what to expect next from him.
Robin sighed, but luckily Beastboy was too engrossed with his meal to notice. Robin noted that he was eating his third burger, and was starting to slow down. I'd better be more cautious. If he's eaten enough, he's probably going to start feeling me out for my answer. Robin sighed inwardly again. He had no idea what to do. This could be just another symptom of his depression, or he could be on to something with Slade. The ramifications for both were staggering.
If I let him go, and Slade isn't after Terra, we lose Beastboy's help for an unknown period, and he might make Terra more angry with him. If I don't let him go, and Slade IS after Terra, she might come back and level the whole city. Robin shuddered. Bruce had told him there would be days like this.
It's not an issue of power, Robin thought to himself. Slade is no match for Beastboy physically. The masked titan remembered with a grin how Beastboy had knocked his punching bag across the room during training when he was taking a break. Robin had just delivered an impressive series of kicks and punches to the bag. Star had clapped, Cy had cheered, and even Raven looked a bit impressed. Beastboy had looked at Robin and smiled with mischief, then yawned theatrically. "Borrrring!" He'd said. Still smiling, he'd shifted into the form of an ape and slugged the bag impressively. The chain holding it from the ceiling broke and it flew across the room. "No applause, no applause, please!" The changeling stated as he changed back to his normal form and bowed. No one was quite sure what to do, but the whole thing struck Robin as funny, so for one few times they could remember, he just started laughing and Cyborg smiled at the prank. Star didn't really get the joke and Raven couldn't safely feel such emotions, so she simply looked at Beastboy with a strange smirk on her face as if she was amused and annoyed at him at the same time.
The issue is Slade's mind and his money. Robin thought with distaste that anytime there were robots or other highly technological devices running on their own that it was a good bet that Slade was behind it. Not only that, he could hire or force people or creatures to fight for him. Damn puppet master.
Robin smiled viciously. He may be tough, but he's not unstoppable. Robin thought about how Slade rarely wanted to get involved himself.
He keeps everyone away that he thinks is a threat. A new revelation hit Robin in the face, simple, but mind-blowingly profound.
Slade was a coward.
Robin couldn't accept the idea, at first. Slade seemed so confident, in control of everything that happened. Then, he slowly saw the reality of the situation.
Slade only seems so unbeatable when he has the advantage of information, Robin mused to himself. When something happens that he didn't predict, he goes to pieces. He thought about how Beastboy had almost killed Slade when the team was trying to rescue Robin.
Slade holds Beastboy in open contempt, yet he almost ended up torn to shreds by him, Robin thought to himself. Nevertheless, Slade is deadly when he knows the score.
Beastboy was starting to look drowsy, the food having restored him and seemingly mellowing him out. He still hadn't had more than a third of his soymilk, and that gave Robin an idea.
Robin got up, and rifled through the pantry. He was also digging into his utility belt for a sleep enzyme he rarely had a reason to use. When he found the vial in his belt, he pulled the bag of potato chips that he was looking for out of the cupboard. Good thing the enzyme doesn't taste like anything, or this probably wouldn't work. Robin inwardly cursed at the necessity for this, but he couldn't risk Beastboy waking up early. Robin absently reached in the bag for a few chips, and walked back to the table. As he was munching, he unobtrusively blocked the view to the glass of soymilk by silently offering Beastboy some. Beastboy brightened and reached in deep for a bunch of chips, and as he did, Robin dumped the vial into Beastboy's glass.
Robin took the bag of chips back to his seat, and decided to wait for a few minutes before telling Beastboy what he was going to do. Cyborg would be home soon, but Robin was confident that Beastboy would be on his way to bed soon, even without the added extra ingredient in his drink.
As predicted, Beastboy ate a few of the salty chips, and took a drink from his glass. "Ah, full of soy goodness!" Beastboy exclaimed. Robin smiled slightly, but was inwardly was relieved that Beastboy hadn't noticed him spiking his drink. As Beastboy finished his final burger and some of the chips, he finished the milk in one swallow. This is it, Robin thought to himself. Let's see how he takes this. Hopefully, he'll swallow it, and go to bed without starting a fight with me.
"Ok, Beastboy, let's throw the cards on the table," Robin began. Beastboy didn't seem as focused as before. "You want to go after Terra, right?" Beastboy nodded. "Assuming you find her, what will you do?"
"I dunno," Beastboy answered uncertainly "I just know that if we don't do anything, it will be worse than if we don't try." Beastboy seemed to focus again. "At the very worst, she needs to be warned. I don't know. It seemed to make sense earlier..." Beastboy seemed confused, and not able to finish his thoughts.
"Look, Beastboy, I need to think about this," Robin started "We need you here, but Slade almost destroyed us once because we didn't see what he was doing." Robin sized him up, and decided he could safely push a bit. "Why don't you get some sleep? Raven said you were up all last night. Hopefully, I can have an answer for you in the morning." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he had pushed too far.
"Dude! You don't need me here!" Beastboy suddenly shouted. "I'm not an important member of this team." He flushed with shame. "I cause more trouble here than I solve."
"That's not true Beastboy!" Robin almost shouted, and his words were sincere. "We need you! You are part of this team!." Robin paused, and decided that Beastboy needed to know about the attack the other day. "The HIVE attacked two days ago." Robin said quietly.
Beastboy looked at him is shock. "You didn't tell me!" Beastboy started in rage, but the look on Robin's face stole his anger. "What happened?" He asked just as quietly.
"Cyborg was knocked out cold for two hours. Raven almost killed Gizmo, and Mammoth used me as a punching bag." Robin stated bluntly, but in the same quiet voice. "Jinx was trying to destroy the main bridge. We still don't know what they were up to. Almost certainly, Slade gave the order. We stopped them, but we needed your help." Robin finished.
Beastboy looked like he was going to be sick. "You see my Dilemma, Beastboy?" Robin asked "Slade isn't going to stop his operations this time. If he figures out that you are looking for Terra, Slade might even send people to attack the tower." He gave Beastboy a significant glance. "He might have sent HIVE out simply to see if you were still around." Robin looked serious. "If you go after Terra, you might have to fight Slade for her. Are you prepared to do that?"
Beastboy looked glum. "I'd rather have you with me if I have to fight Slade." Beastboy looked up. "But this is important, Robin! We didn't have any way of fighting the nanobots that Slade put in us, but we came anyway." Beastboy finished lamely.
Robin looked at him, and the clock. Cyborg would be home in just minutes. It was time to get Beastboy to bed. "Look BB, I have to think about this. Now that you know what's going on too, you'll have to decide what to do. Check with me in the morning. Do you want me to let you know if there are any emergencies?"
Beastboy suddenly yawned titanically. "I don't know how mu.c..h...g..o..o...d..." Beastboy trailed off with another huge yawn.
Robin was inwardly relieved. The enzyme and his lack of sleep had finally caught up with him. Robin sized him up, and figured that he would be out like a light in about a minute.
Robin quietly ran off the Raven's room. As he knocked on the door, he heard the girls chatting quietly inside. He idly wondered what there were talking about.
Earlier, In Raven's room:
Raven and Starfire were busy painting. They were painting the opening scene from Raven's mirror. Although Raven had shown her the mirror, she had not revealed that the scenes were from her own mind. It was better that Starfire thought it was a scrying mirror, rather than a gateway to her mind and feelings.
Starfire, as usual, wanted to paint the scene with colors that were too bright.
"No Star," Raven began with her usual monotone voice "Nothing brighter than the dark reddish glow."
"But friend Raven! Brighter colors would set a more positive mood!" Starfire said with conviction.
Raven winced. Maybe her mind could do with a bit more cheer, but she had responsibilities. Her powers were too dangerous if she let her emotions have free-rein. She found the negative emotions easier to control. If she was happy, she tended to easily get out of hand. If she was bitter, she could partial out that bitterness in small quantities, easily controlled. And with her empathy, bitterness came easily. She felt the moods of the people around her. It made her insanely jealous to feel the tenderness and desire that Starfire and Robin felt for each other. Strangely, though, Starfire's friendship helped her to deal with that. Starfire loved with her entire being, and she felt that love directed toward her when they spent time together.
"I can see that my suggestion does not make you happy, Raven." Starfire said with a downcast expression. "I will abide by your wishes..."
Raven looked at her. "I'm sorry, Star." She sighed and took a deep breath. "I'm having trouble focusing. I should probably go meditate. Don't touch anything else, but you can work on the painting for as long as you want." Raven started to get up, but Star flew over to her.
"Friend Raven, why are you so troubled?" Starfire asked in concern.
"I don't want to talk about it." Came the flat answer.
"I am concerned for you..." Starfire started
Raven sighed. This wasn't going to be good, but she was sure that Starfire wouldn't stop pestering her, short of throwing her out of the room.
"Are you worried about Beastboy?" Starfire asked.
"NO!" Raven burst out. She quickly regained control. "That fuzz ball better get out of his slump soon." She tried to cover, but Starfire suddenly was looking at her peculiarly.
"I do not understand Beastboy's condition," Starfire started. "I, too am sad that Terra did not choose to stay. You were not as sad to see Terra go, and yet I feel that you are still sad. Why is that?"
"People come, people go. That's just how it is." Raven regretted the quote the second she said it. She had said that when Cyborg had quit the Titans, and broken quite a few technological items that day. No one was fooled by her callous act.
Starfire was looking at her penetratingly. Then she laughed like the peals of a small silver bell. "You are in love with Beastboy, aren't you?"
Raven glared at her. Starfire stopped laughing, and wondered why Raven looked so angry. "Star, I'm going to count to ten, and hopefully I won't still want to hurt you by then."
Star wasn't sure that she liked hitting this button on Raven. She had the thought that she should leave, but she still felt like she should help Raven with her problem.
Raven slowly counted to ten, and one of her statues flew across the room. As she reached ten, she realized that Star probably didn't know what was going on, and hadn't meant to throw this in her face.
"Star, listen carefully," She began, still tense all over. "Do you remember when you were in my body, and you were blowing things up when you felt something strongly?" Starfire carefully nodded. "That will never go away in me. I can meditate from now until the end of eternity, and I will still never be able to feel emotions strongly. I can feel friendship to you, in a limited fashion. I can be slightly angry. I can feel calm."
"I almost killed Dr. Light when my hate was strong. What will happen if I let go and love someone?" Raven's words were calm, but tears appeared in her eyes, and the light bulbs shattered.
"And in the greatest cosmic joke ever, Beastboy loves Terra anyway." Raven finished bitterly
Starfire didn't know what to say. The abrupt darkness from the now destroyed light bulbs was unsettling, but she felt that it might help Raven get this off her chest.
"Has Beastboy shown interest in you?" Star asked gently.
"A few times," Her voice shaking with suppressed sobs. Random items whirled around the room. "I can't encourage him, though. I can't love him or anyone!" The dam burst, and she was suddenly crying with deep, wracking sobs.
The items in the air whirled, and some of them crashed against the walls, and one or two went straight through the canvas of their painting. Starfire went to her friend and hugged her gently. Raven was a wet noodle in her arms, her usual façade of strength and determination gone.
"Beastboy is doing what he is because he's in love, Star" Raven said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "That's why he's been acting so strangely for the last few days." She was regaining control rapidly He's one of the only people who treated me as a normal girl, and he's one of the few people I'll put up with who does stupid things. She pulled herself out of Starfire's hug, but felt the hurt from Starfire. "Star, I'm grateful that you were here to help me, but I don't feel comfortable." Raven winced. That didn't come out well.
Starfire disengaged herself, but didn't move away. Star pursed her lips, and decided to gamble. "Raven, I do not know if Robin likes me, but I do not give up hope that he will. He shows me interest in a way that is not normal for my people. We demonstrate affection in large ways. Robin demonstrates in small ways that are not easy to be certain of. Perhaps Beastboy does love you, but does not show it in ways that are easily seen."
Raven started at Star, and was touched by her openness. She suppressed the urge to say something sarcastic. Raven saw that Star's admission had been costly. She looked as upset when she had entered.
"I appreciate you trying to help me. You shouldn't worry about Robin. He likes you a lot. He's just clumsy when it comes to his feelings." Raven responded. She sighed bitterly. "Beastboy couldn't be more in love with Terra, though."
"If he is in love with Terra, why is he so sick?" Starfire asked
Raven pondered several ways to answer. She decided not to bring up the whole thing with Robin and Slade. "Star, you were upset when your sister, Blackfire, framed you for stealing that emerald colored moon-diamond, right?"
Star's eyes dimmed momentarily. "I was more upset that all of you liked Blackfire more than me..."
Raven looked at Star, a bit shocked. "I like you a lot more than Blackfire, Star." Raven stated "But that's a good example. What Beastboy is going through is probably like what you felt about Robin not liking you."
Star's eyes showed comprehension. She'd felt the worst agony imaginable when she had decided to leave. Having Robin stop her on the roof had been like a healing kiss.
Starfire looked at Raven, and asked sadly "Will Beastboy leave us, now?"
Raven looked at Starfire, rocked to the core. "Why would he do that, Star?
Starfire looked at her curiously. "Would you not follow the person you love?"
Raven didn't have an answer. And then there was a knock at her door.
The door slid open slightly, and two penetrating blue eyes greeted Robin. "What?" Raven asked in her usual bad-tempered voice.
"I need Starfire to carry Beastboy to his room, and I need you to seal it afterward." Robin said, his tone all business.
Raven raised an eyebrow. "What did you do? Drug him?" She asked in her deadpan monotone. Robin knew she was making a sarcastic joke, but her accuracy in this case was just creepy.
"Actually, I did." Robin confessed. Raven looked shocked. "We all need to talk, and Beastboy doesn't need to wander in or eavesdrop on us."
Raven looked a little worried. "Is it that serious?" She asked.
"You tell me. When was the last time Beastboy shifted into saber-toothed tiger and scared all of us?" Robin countered.
Raven chewed her lower lip. "I've never been scared of the little green elf before." She quietly admitted. "Starfire!" She stage-whispered to the redheaded Tamaranian in her room. "Go get Beastboy and put him in his room! I'll meet you there."
Star came out looking a bit upset and preoccupied, but she brightened a bit as she saw Robin. Her expression dimmed when she saw how serious Robin was. "Beast Boy has not worsened, has he?" Starfire asked with deep concern.
Robin looked at her sympathetically. "No, Star. He might even be better. I'll tell you more after you put him to bed."
Starfire looked at him quizzically. "Why should not you or Raven put him to bed?"
"Because he trusts you more than anyone right now," Robin stated. "He might freak out if he wakes up with someone else carrying him. You've done everything you can to help him, and I know he appreciates it."
Starfire brightened, and headed down to the kitchen. She still couldn't shake the feeling that all was not well, however. Robin's look was not the look of someone who's friend was sick, but now was well. It was a look similar to when Slade had insulted him.
Robin and Raven walked the short distance to Beastboy's room. They were silent as they traveled, two ghosts on a mission. Raven shuddered when she reached Beastboy's room. "I'm not going in there," She declared. "He probably hasn't cleaned since we kicked HIVE out of the tower and the cleaners came through."
Robin grinned at her, and opened the door. The condition inside shocked even him.
It was clean.
"Well, it's confirmed. Beastboy is definitely not himself right now!" Robin declared.
Raven looked at him. "What are you talking about?" She started, but then she saw in the room. There was a big box in a corner with some junk in it, but it did seem that he had tried to clean up. Raven pursed her lips. "I'm not sure if it's good or bad that he cleaned," Raven said finally. She looked at the stuffed animals and little kids toys he had, and wondered about the savage Beastboy she had seen not a half an hour ago. She wandered over to his bed and took a seat on the top bunk.
Meanwhile, Starfire flew down the stairs to the kitchen. She found Beastboy sound asleep in his chair, with his head resting on his forearm. She gently gathered him up, and turned her nose up at his smell. He has not slept for days, and it is unlikely that he bathed. If indeed he is well now, I must force him wash tomorrow, She thought to herself. The thought of forcing him to take a bubble bath with her pink bubble soap brought a big smile to her face. The concept of "Payback" that Robin had tried to explain the other day suddenly made sense to her. It would be great fun, and the perfect punishment for that oil balloon he had mistakenly attacked her with all that time ago.
She flew up to his room, and found Robin and Raven already inside. Raven was playing with a stuffed lion on Beastboy's bed, and Robin was leaning against the wall in deep thought. She felt her usual surge of jealousy when she found the two alone, but there didn't seem to be anything going on between the two of them. It worried her how well the two of them seemed right together sometimes, but she also remembered the talk she had with Raven, and decided that it wasn't a problem right now. "I have him." She said quietly.
Raven looked up, and made room on the bed. She pulled the sheet back, and Starfire slid Beastboy under the covers. Luckily, Beastboy didn't like wearing shoes in the tower.
The three of them glided out, and as the door closed, the room took on an eerie black aura. Raven's power sealed the room, and not a sound was heard inside.