A/N: Hi everyone! I have to admit to writer's block. I think I'm past it, but forgive me if it strikes again. I wanted this chapter to be longer, but if I go into the next scene, we'd have another chapter tacked on. Oh, well. Enjoy, and expect the next chapter soon!(BTW, we are starting to get to the action part :P )
As always, I do not own the Teen Titans.
Chapter Five: The Calm Before the Storm
Raven woke the next morning very gradually. She glanced at her clock, and the antique showed that it was slightly after eight. 'I hope it's morning.' She held her head in her hands, still very groggy. 'The way I slept, it could be evening.' She yawned broadly, glancing at the black draped window, seeing golden light around the edges. 'Good, it's only morning.' She considered going back to sleep. Robin had said that the drug he had given Beastboy shouldn't wear off until mid-morning, but she needed to meditate. She had given up twenty minutes into it last night because she was starting to fall asleep.
'Either I'm getting lazy, or last week was worse than I thought.' Raven stretched and rubbed her eyes. 'I need herbal tea.'
Raven forced herself to get up and to go to her bathroom. As she splashed water on her face, she started to feel a bit more awake. 'Good thing I forced that deal with Robin. I doubt I'll need the rest of the day off, but I could sure use it.' She forced herself not to think about what could go wrong with what she agreed to do. Using her power to get into someone else's mind and feelings was an unbelievable risk- true Russian Roulette. If Beastboy was fine, the risk was minimal. If he was suffering from any kind of mental illness, she would likely end up with the same thing, with virtually no chance to cure it. She shuddered at the thought.
As she made her way to the kitchen, she noticed that the Tower was surreally silent. 'I guess the boys are out patrolling. Not that it's really necessary, but a nice gesture on Robin's part.' As she thought about it, it was more likely that they were out having breakfast or running on the beach. 'So what. They're out from underfoot, and probably won't return until sunset. These are about the best conditions I could ask for.'
As Raven put a pot of water on for tea, she noticed her stomach growling at her. 'Fine! If you really need it that badly, I'll feed you!' Raven's sarcastic reply to her stomach was nothing new. Her demonic heritage meant that she could get away with eating far less than what a normal person would need. She found eating a chore, really.
Raven took a peek into the fridge, and saw all of the new food they had bought yesterday. 'At least my stomach bugged me when there is something worth eating this time.' She took out a carton of eggs, butter, some French bread and some strawberries. She felt an absurd craving wash over her, and she looked in the cupboards for some powdered sugar. 'Ah. First and only time I'll find everything I need.'
Raven took a quart of milk out of the fridge, and got out a shallow mixing bowl. 'Who knows why I let the others teach me these things, but at least this idea is simple.' Cyborg taught her to make French toast a few weeks ago, and she had liked it. 'Too much bacon, of course,' she thought acidly 'but what else can you expect from him.' She cracked a few eggs on the side of the bowl, mixed the eggs and milk together, and went looking for vanilla and cinnamon. 'Maybe this idea isn't so simple after all.' Her mind said, "waste of time," but her stomach hadn't stopped purring in anticipation. Her stomach won. She found an almost empty container of cinnamon and a never-used bottle of vanilla.
Raven suddenly realized that she was still in her nightdress. She flushed crimson, and one of the eggs in the carton cracked. 'Calm down!' She told herself fiercely. 'Starfire won't care if she sees me like this, and Beastboy is likely to be dead to the world until eleven.' She knew she should have gone straight to meditating, but with her level of awareness, she'd probably have gone on the roof dressed like this.
'Calm. Quiet. Peace. Focus.' Raven closed her eyes. "Azarath," she said calmly "Metrion," she continued "Zinthos." She found herself calmed. She looked at the egg that she had inadvertently cracked. 'Oh, well. I'd better use it.' She mixed the extra egg into the mix, and added the rest of the ingredients in proper proportions. She found the act of cooking to be calming. It appealed to her logical mind. As she heated up a frying pan, she cut two six-inch sections off the French bread, and cut them in half horizontally as if she were making a sandwich. 'Cyborg showed me how to do this with bacon grease,' Raven shuddered 'but I really don't like bacon. I'll have to guess how much butter to use instead.' She stared at the stick of butter, and finally settled on a tablespoon. She was soaking the bread in the egg mix when her teakettle started whistling. She looked at it in distaste. She'd forgotten about her tea. 'Just this once, I'm going to have junk food. I may not be sane by the end of the day,' came the bitter thought. 'And if I get my hands on Terra or Slade, whoever forced this choice on me is DEAD!'
She took the kettle off the stove and dumped it out. She continued making the French toast, and took some time to find some ice cream. By the time she was done, she had four slices of French toast and a blender full of strawberry milkshake. She even managed to have everything cleaned up by the time she was finished. 'Cyborg owes me dish duty. It was his turn this morning.'
As she dusted powdered sugar over the buttered French toast, she heard someone coming down the hall. 'No footsteps. Good, Star's awake.' She poured some milkshake, and walked over to the window with her meal. The morning was glorious. Not a cloud in the sky. Raven smiled as she sipped her milkshake. She hoped this was a good omen.
Star flew into the room unsteadily, rubbing her eyes. "Good day to you, friend Raven!" Starfire exclaimed when she saw Raven eating by the window.
Raven carefully finished the French toast she was chewing, and swallowed. "Good morning, Starfire. Would you like some breakfast? I have some left over." She looked closely at the red-headed alien. "Did you catch up on your sleep?"
Starfire stretched hugely. "Yes, friend Raven. I have…'caught up,' is that the term?" She looked uncertainly at Raven, but Raven nodded calmly back to her. "I would very much like to share a meal with you, friend." Starfire said with bright eyes.
Raven was slightly embarrassed, but she remembered that the others weren't around. She smiled to Starfire, and pointed to the kitchen. "French toast on the plate, and a drink I think you'll like in the blender. Help yourself."
As Starfire was helping herself to food, Raven noticed that Star wasn't really dressed for company either. It was odd not having all the boys around for once. Peaceful and quiet, just as she liked it. With both of them in sleeping clothes, there was a strange casualness in the air and Raven didn't feel the tense alertness that usually pervaded her being. Robin and Cyborg said that they'd take care of things this morning. Raven sighed in contentment.
Starfire wandered over to the window with her food, and sat in a pool of sunlight. Her pink pajamas reflected most of the light. She, too was feeling better than usual. After sleeping more than twelve hours, she felt alert and fit after her initial drowsiness wore off. The day was warm and full of promise. The only thing bothering her was this mysterious "test" Raven was going to perform on Beastboy. She sensed that Raven had downplayed the risks. 'I must also perform my "payback" on Beastboy this morning.' An eager grin spread across her face.
Raven noticed the slightly evil smile. "What has you so amused, Star?"
Star looked at Raven, and something clicked in her brilliant mind. She smiled even more evilly. "Friend Raven, would you like to care to assist me in a 'prank'?"
Raven sipped her milkshake thoughtfully. 'A prank?! I thought Starfire hated that kind of behavior.' "I find that sort of thing to be a waste of time. Why do you want my help?" Raven asked coolly.
"I thought that you might wish to be involved. I wish to give Beastboy a bath with my pink bubble soap. It is what Robin called a "payback" for soaking me with oil." Starfire smiled brightly.
Raven stared at her in shock. 'Am I talking to the real Starfire…?'
Any other day, she would have tossed the idea of the prank as being impractical and stupid. Raven's attitude of "I may as well, before I go insane" was still in place though, and on a more practical note, a clean Beastboy would be a vast improvement when she tested him. Raven smiled an identical evil smile.
"That sounds interesting. I think you should put some pretty pink bows on him, too." Raven answered in her usual monotone, but her eyes were bright. "And take a few pictures."
"Oh, a glorious idea, dearest friend Raven." Starfire's eyes burned bright emerald green. She took a bite of French toast. "We are agreed to do this as soon as he awakens?"
Raven stared into space momentary. 'He's had enough to eat, so it's probably safe to do this to him immediately.' Raven glanced at the clock. Nine-thirty. 'Geez. Where does the time go.' "Sure. We'll give him half an hour of beauty sleep, and then we'll ambush him in his room. I doubt he'll be up, but we'll wait there." Raven paused. "Do you want to wash him in his bathroom?"
Starfire blanched. "No, no, no! I will carry him to my room. I have no wish to see his place of bathing at all!"
'Good point,' Raven thought to herself. She also thought about showering and changing into her uniform, but Beastboy was likely to resist and get them wet. Her powers would help with that, and Starfire was strong enough to manhandle him into the bath. This was fitting together more tightly. No wonder Star seemed so happy when Raven agreed to join. Raven started having modesty issues at that point, but she tossed them into her "Who cares today?" box.
As Raven and Starfire finished eating, Raven gave some thought to the odd behaviors she was giving way to today. She noticed that her powers weren't acting up as much as usual when she was enjoying herself. She mentally shrugged. Maybe she could reach a bit further now. Once, it was hard for her to go to the mall with Starfire, and now she was agreeing to participate in a prank. Starfire, too, was changing. She seemed to enjoy some of Raven's more subdued amusements, and was becoming calmer, though no less spirited.
'Maybe I should keep my "Who cares?" box after today. Assuming I'm still sane.' Raven felt the bitterness and helplessness creeping up on her again. As her face turned mask-like again, Starfire happened to be watching.
"Friend, why are you upset?" Starfire's face reflected concern. She decided to gamble again. "Is it because of the test you must perform?"
Raven closed her eyes as the sinking feeling settled over her. Her first impulse was to either deny it or lash out at Starfire. 'I must have been a complete idiot last night.' Raven thought bitterly. 'I should never have shown my uncertainty, or even offered to do it if I can't deal with the risks.' Raven looked at Starfire. 'Maybe this will help her understand some things.' Raven stared into space thoughtfully, absently moving the French toast around on her plate.
"Star, you can sense what a person is feeling, right?" Raven asked her friend absently.
"Yes, friend Raven. Not always do I feel what another feels, but sometimes I simply know. Other times, I know what a person is feeling because I know why a person feels." Starfire looked a bit confused at the question.
Raven's eyes focused into their normal intensity when she was serious about something. "When I touch a person, I can sometimes feel thoughts. Other times, I get flashes, pictures from their minds." Raven paused. "That's one of the reasons that I prefer not to touch people, or be touched."
Star looked at her uncomprehendingly. "Friend Raven, is that not an incredible gift? I could think of no other power that I do not possess that I would wish to have more. What could be greater than sharing the thoughts and feelings of a friend?"
Raven's eyes flashed in anger. "It's a curse, Starfire!" Raven spat venomously. "Most people are emotional cesspools. Their hates, fears, angers and desires are hidden behind masks. I feel it all when I touch them." She shuddered in disgust.
"I felt how uncomfortable you were with me anytime you used to hug me, before we switched bodies," Raven continued bitterly. "You used to do it out of reflex, not because you liked me." Raven's eyes glimmered with unshed tears. Raven exerted control, and blinked her almost tears away. "It's only felt ok on a few occasions. It's just easier not to have anyone touch me."
Star felt awful for a moment, and then remembered how Raven had warmed right up to her sister, Blackfire. "I am sorry, friend Raven. Perhaps we are both to blame, however. I forced my behavior on you without fully accepting you, and you pushed me away when I wanted to be your friend." Star's eyes also glimmered with unshed tears. "I would like to think that we are on better terms, now."
Raven wasn't exactly what you'd call socially adept or empathetic, but she wasn't exactly feeling good about her admission. She reached over and took Starfire's hand in hers. "Star, you have nothing to worry about." Since neither of them were wearing gloves, Raven felt Starfire's concern and worry over this entire chain of events. Flashes of Terra uncertainly flying on her rock, Beastboy eating the pudding of sadness without flinching, Beastboy turning into a saber-tooth tiger, Cyborg flinching behind the couch. Star reeked of sadness and pain.
Raven bit her lip. Hard. This was a stretch for her, but she knew that she could do it. She moved closer to Starfire, and clumsily hugged her. The hug started tensely and unnaturally, but Raven relaxed after she took the step. Starfire hugged her back, and Raven felt waves of relief and happiness coming from her. Raven felt some of the well-being that she'd felt when she'd woken up return to her. Maybe things weren't so bad. Then the cold iron grip of reality returned. She couldn't shake the fear of testing Beastboy.
Starfire felt Raven go from being relaxed to extremely tense. She carefully moved her hands away from Raven's. "Raven, I am grateful for your comfort. However, you have not explained the risk that the test poses for you. Please share this with me." Starfire looked at Raven, eyes pleading.
Raven felt the shift in Starfire before she removed her hands. She mentally sighed. 'I may as well just tell her. We're just digging up more of our old problems anytime I draw it out or expect her to forget that she asked.' Raven always felt more comfortable when they had something to do or an activity they agreed on. There was less chance for Starfire to ask personal questions.
"If I delve into someone's mind, rather than just getting an impression, I feel what they feel. If they are mentally ill, unstable, or in great pain, that becomes a part of me. If they are mad, their madness infects me." Raven said in her straight monotone voice. "I've found that madness, most of all, is poison to me. I can't work through it, because it's not mine. The triggers come from someone else. Remember when I almost killed Dr. Light?" Star nodded. "That is a madness that came from my Father. My powers become out of control, and I feel the need to kill, or at least badly hurt people. If Beastboy has a mental illness, then it's likely that I will, too, after I test him."
Star looked at her, stunned. "You must not perform the test." She declared suddenly.
Raven looked at her wearily. "I wish I didn't have to. Robin's right though. We have to know."
"No, friend. The cost is too high. We must test by combat, or not at all."
Raven looked at her with a shocked expression. "Star, the HIVE almost killed us all the other day. We don't have any time left. We have to know, and we can't risk Beastboy in combat." Raven blew a sigh. "I have to risk it. You think Beastboy's better, right?" She asked Star.
Star looked thoughtful. "I think he is, but he is now acting more strangely than before. I do not know what constitutes 'normal' for earth creatures."
Raven finished her milkshake. "Robin thinks he might be better, too. Two votes are better than none." Raven thought about meditating, but tossed the idea. 'We have no time left…' The thought clung to her like cold mist.
Raven got up from the floor, taking her dishes with her. "We should start soon." Raven called over her shoulder. Starfire shook herself out of her thoughts. She also brought her dishes to the kitchen area.
"Should we change clothing before waking Beastboy?" Star asked.
Raven's eyes were fierce and cold. "We don't have time, Star." The thought wouldn't leave her. 'There's no time left…' "We barely have time to throw him in the bath."
'I don't care how little time we have. I'm not touching him until he's clean.' A sadistic smile spread across her face. "Run the bath with the pink bath suds and get the ribbons. I'll go get our guest of honor."