Disclaimer: I still don't own too much. I own a cat that bites my feet. I own a stress ball that looks like the Aflac duck. And I own the can of Dr. Pepper sitting by my keyboard. That's about all I own at the moment. I wish I owned all the guys in Linkin Park. I owned their cd, Meteora, but I don't legally own the rights to their song, Easier to Run, which is featured in the next installment of my fic. God, writing this is really making my day start out lovely. (sobs)
All righty, then. Here's chapter four of Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way. I am so sorry about the huge delay, but I have had issues with finding the time to write in between studying and then finding a computer that I can type at for long enough to get the chapter out. But here y'all go. Oh, and in the review responses chapter, I saw that all of the apostrophes got replaced with a funny capital O with a squiggle over it. So just pretend there's an apostrophe there…
The last chapter ended somewhat like this…
"His attacker stood over Inuyasha's prone body and laughed…"
But since I haven't even figgered out who the attacker is, we're going back to Kagome's point of view for this chappie!
Chapter 4 (Even though it says 5 at the top): Easier to Run
~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
~*~*~*~*~*~*
When Kagome had finally gotten out of the rain, due mainly in part to a joint effort on Sango and Miroku's parts, she had just wandered back to her sleeping bag and curled up like she had the night before. "This is not good," Sango told Miroku, " Where has Inuyasha gone?" Miroku just shrugged and glanced at Kagome before telling Sango, " We can stay here for a few days more. Maybe Kagome-sama will tell us what has happened." Sango looked sadly at Kagome and thought, 'What has he done to you, my friend?'
Though she seemed to be sleeping, Kagome was awake and thinking. Her mind was still a jumble of thoughts, still a mess of confusion and hurt. He had not come back over the night. He had not come back this morning. So where was he? Had he gone back to Kikyo? She tried to dismiss that ugly thought, thinking back to the look in his golden eyes right after he had kissed her but just before he had jumped into the treetops. Groaning, Kagome rolled over and sighed. Maybe sleep would be the cure for her breaking heart.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
~*~*~*~*~*~*
She had gotten up when Sango had lightly shaken her shoulder and told her that dinner was ready. She had trudged over to the fireside and took the bowl that Miroku had lightly placed in her hands, not noticing that for the first time that the accompanying grope was missing. She stared into the soup, the only thought on her mind that the color of the broth matched the color of Inuyasha's eyes. With a light shrug, she cleared her mind of that train of thought. Looking up at her worried companions, she noted their silence, their anxious expressions, and the strain that was showing around their eyes. She quickly went back to staring at her soup, realizing that her throat had blocked up and tears were coming to her eyes. She carefully placed the uneaten bowl of soup on the ground and slowly but deliberately stood up and walked in the direction of the well and the God-Tree.
Looking up at the great expanse of the Tree's branches, she thought of how the tree in her backyard was exactly like it in every way. Bringing her eyes down to the tiny hole made by a miko's arrow fifty years ago, she thought how that if she went home, it would be all right. She would have the tree in her yard. Turning, she made her way to the well and peered in. Never before had it seemed so deep, so final. She walked quickly back to the Tree, away from the finality. If she jumped in that well, she might never come back. Even if she went home, she would never be comforted by a memory. 'But that's all you have here,' she thought. Just memories.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave
I would
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sango and Miroku found her a few hours later curled up in the roots of the God-Tree. Miroku picked her up in his arms and the three of them slowly made their way back to camp. When he tried to lay her down in her sleeping bag, she clung to his robes. It took the combined efforts of both him and Sango to loosen her grip. When they finally uncurled her fists, there was such a look of intense sadness and loss on her face that the two of them were affected by it. Sango wiped her eyes and Miroku felt his throat closing and gulped. They turned as one and both gloomily went to bed, Sango leaning against Kirara for comfort and Miroku leaning against a tree with his staff. They didn't know the dreams that Kagome had. They didn't know how much her soul cried for Inuyasha. They didn't know that Inuyasha sat in the trees that night and watched the whole scene.
'It must be me,' Kagome thought the next day. They had packed up camp in complete silence and were now on the road. 'Why else would he leave? It must be something I've done,' she thought. She couldn't come up with anything, but that didn't mean that she wasn't to blame for all this mess. 'I'm sorry, Inuyasha.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past
~*~*~*~*~*~*
It had been weeks since Kagome had figured out for herself that the only reason he could have left was that she had done something wrong. She still stood by her decision that she was the reason that he had left. She had begun talking again to Sango and Miroku, but she didn't chatter like she had before and she couldn't find anything to laugh about. She still hadn't noticed that his hentai self had gone MIA. Her days had become monotone and all seemed somewhat gray around the edges. She often thought about Inuyasha, no matter how much she tried not to. She tried thinking of other things, but was always drawn back to him. She ate less too; Sango had said that her clothes were only just hanging onto her. Kagome had noticed that Sango was preparing more fattening food and trying to cheer her up with stories from her childhood, but nothing interested Kagome anymore.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
~*~*~*~*~*~*
So, wrapped up in a clutter of emotions, Kagome never noticed how every night Inuyasha sat in a tree above her. His guess had been correct that her miko powers weren't working correctly when he had rushed off to the burning "village". She couldn't feel anything magical. So she never noticed the burst of energy when the village turned to a clearing and Inuyasha's attacker revealed itself. She continued on, oblivious.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
And, okies, please don't flame me for such a crappy ending. I am sorry about that but I'm a little drained mentally from all that emotionful writing. I hope this chapter makes up for the delay in updatage. Please don't hurt me…
Anyways, next update coming soon (yes, I know I'm being vague on that topic.). I'm always open to new songs; just send in the title and author! (But let's all aim for happy songs now. Writing these chappies is making me really depressed…) Anyways, I love all my reviewers and their reviews, and all of you who read but don't review can go to Saturday detention. (2 hours of landscaping at 8 on a Saturday morning). So review and be merry! 84 days till my birthday! (that was just in case you wanted to know…)