Note: Hi everyone! Hee hee! You can probably guess who the next person is because it is very obvious! So...why IS Zell smoking weed? Well this chapter explains HIS life! Enjoy! Oh yeah! Last chapter...I just had to mention it... Irvine?! Pizza guy?! HEE HEE! I'm sorry I just don't like him, but he's okay I guess. I'm not much of a Selvine fan tho...sorry to those Selvine fans! ^_^; Anyway, the moment u've been waiting for...why IS Zell smoking marijuana? Hm..... o_O
Chapter 4 - Guilty Heart
It was loud. So loud. He could hear was the distant sound of the sirens enveloping his ears. He sat, his arms outstretched towards them... they were trapped. He had to let them out. He had to save them. But it was too late. The image flashed to a quieter place. It took him a moment to realize that the place he was in now was a morgue. In front of him, he saw them laying there, their bodies, pale and unmoving. He called out to them, but all he could hear coming out of his mouth was a whimper. There were people around now now, speaking as if he wasn't there.
"It was a head on collision. She came out flying forward, her head smashed against the window. The driver-- her husband, was trapped between the wheel and the seat. I couldn't believe it when I saw them being carried here. It must have been awful for them." The ten year old boy looked up. The one who was speaking was a tall man wearing a white lab coat, his glasses, round and thick and his face, skinny and frail.
"Think of what it would be like if the child ever found out the truth of how his parents died," a woman in the group spoke.
Died??? What were they talking about? He looked up and then he saw them.
The bodies, he realized that he was calling out to were THEM.... "Mom? Dad?"
The people around their bodies turned at the same time and looked at him. "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be in here." the woman spoke, wide eyed. She placed her hands on his shoulders and led him out of the room. The blond boy turned around and was on a verge of tears. The woman kneeled down in front of him and wrapped her skinny arms around the boy. "Shhh, it's okay now. I'll take care of you."
The boy looked up into her eyes, giving her that questioning look. He recognized her. She was his Aunt... his father's older sister. Aunt Jenny. The boy looked down on the ground and cried in his Aunt's arms. She wrapped her arms around him tighter and comforted him as much as she could. "Why did they have to die, Aunt Jenny?!" he finally spoke, weeping in her shoulder.
Aunt Jenny shook her head. "I don't know, Zell. Sometimes there are many things we don't understand of why it happens. There will never be answers to every question."
There will never be answers to every question, he thought.
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Zell savored each taste from his enjoyment, taking small puffs, enduring that one moment of having peace and quiet. Just him, his smoke and his thoughts. He thought about that night when his Aunt told him the whole story. Of course, at the age of ten, he denied the fact that his parents were really gone forever. He simply thought that his parents were coming back... sooner or later. As he grew up, he eventually learned that they would never return. He grew mature and grew an addiction to marijuana. It was his life's vacation, away from tests, from grades and everything else that had to do with school. For him, what was the point of ever doing good in school? He still tried hard of course, tried as hard as he could to get all the A's he deserves and the good praises he got from his friends, because he wanted to make his Aunt and Uncle proud. Even his little cousin, Mimi, because the girl someday, wants to be like him. A smart and athletic jock. But sometimes he didn't like it. What was the point? His mom wasn't there to hug him and kiss him congratulations for a job well done, neither was his dad to videotape that moment where he scored a touchdown during his first kickoff at the football field.
The blond boy took another puff and closed his eyes in ecstacy. He looked up towards the large window of the hallway where he could see the field.. his other source of salvation from the pain inside. Football was always his dream. It was what his father always wanted him to do. Gary Dincht was the legendary football coach at Varsity and later transferred with the Balamb Lions to make them better. Of course, Zell wasn't even born yet when he began coaching the team. He was just six years old when he watched his father out into the field, arguing with the referee that the tackle was relevant instead of a foul.
A flashback of that night splashed into his mind. That night-- their bodies laid side by side...
Zell shook the thought away from him and came back to reality. He glanced at the last stick of marijuana in his hand. It was just three years ago when he began to start smoking the wonderful addiction of marijuana. Kent was the one who introduced him to the wonderful smell of salvation. At first, he was hesitant, but when he found out that the one who collided with his parents' car awoke from his coma, Zell found a way not to be hesitant anymore to take his first smoke. It was unfair for him to think that the man, drunk at the time, should have died instead of them, because he was not that kind of person. He didn't want Selphie to think he was turning evil. All he could do was to fade all the anger and guilt away by the puff of a good marijuana. He lifted the stick to his lips and breathed in the aroma, then slowly exhaled the smoke out into the quiet hallway.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps. Casually, he dragged the stick out against the wall and waffed the smoke away from him, in case the footsteps were to come his way. When he was sure, everything was clear, he turned his eyes towards the front and watched in the corner of his eye as a tall blond guy, not much older than him walked pass him calmly. The blond, wearing a grey trenchcoat took one quick glance towards him, but then turned his attention back into something else, not caring what Zell was doing. Zell watched the other blond leave the building and when he knew that no one else was there, he stood up, stuffed his 'leftovers' in his pockets and decided to go to a much quieter and secluded place to enjoy his 'lunch.'
"Hey Zell!" Zell froze and turned his head slowly. When he noticed that it was Kent Marshall, he took a deep breath and stopped so he could catch up.
"Hey, Kent," the blond spoke, waving his hand. Kent Marshall, the first person who ever talked to him during his first weeks as a member of the Balamb Lions was the one who made all the members of the team like him. At first, they made fun of him and his hair, but once he started playing for the team, they were impressed of how well he played. Kent made his popularity even stronger when he announced to the whole team that he was the fastest runner in the field. The tall brunette must have seen him run around his neighborhood. "What's up?" Zell stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited for him. He watched as Kent took out something from his own pockets, looked around him to make sure no one was around and handed him a square box.
"Here, I'm sure you'd want this."
Zell looked at it curiously. "What is it?"
Kent grinned. "Lyle gave that to me, but I thought you'd want it more. It's a good brand too, just out from Columbia."
Zell's eyes widened. "From Columbia? How did he get it from there?" He opened it slowly and saw the good brands of cigarettes stacked in neat rows.
The taller boy shrugged. "I guess he has connections there. Well, I gotta go." He patted Zell's shoulder and turned. "See ya later, man."
The blond watched him. "All right, see ya." He took another look inside the small matchbox and stuffed it inside his pant pocket, then left the building towards the back doors of the school and into the afternoon air.
Zell glanced at his watch. He forgot that he had to go meet Selphie in front of their Lit. class so he could get help from her with the homework he missed when he had to go for the game against Varsity. Sighing, he walked up the backsteps outside and made his way around the other side of the school to get to his Literature class quickly. Outside their classroom, Selphie was already there, waiting for him. When she noticed him, she waved her hand and ran by his side quickly.
"Hey, Zelly! Ready to do homework together? Mr. Ericsson left the door open for us so we can work on our homework."
The blond grinned, wrapping an arm around her tiny shoulders and they walked together inside the classroom. Just as she said, the door was indeed open. Selphie released herself from Zell's arms and ran to the nearest desk they saw and patted a seat next to her. "Come on! Let's get crackin'!"
Zell shook his head and laughed. He remembered the first time she came into his world. He didn't remember exactly how old they were, but he knew they were young back then. She was the next person to be heartbroken when Zell phoned her from the morgue and told her what happened to his parents. She was a smart person, because she was the first one to ever notice that his parents did die, while Zell was still in that phase of believing that they were coming back. She made him see the light that his parents will never come watch his football games again... will never see him do another high kick or tackle a guy bigger than him. She was there to comfort him when he needed someone's shoulder to cry on other than his Aunt Jennifer, who was going to be his Guardian from now on.
"Zell?"
The blond boy blinked, coming back to reality. He looked up at Selphie, who has been staring at him for who knows how long. He had no idea he was still standing by the door when she called his name. Zell grinned and sat down beside Selphie. He watched as she opened her notebook and her 'Literature Life' text book, opening it to page 84 and placed them both on the table in front of them. He watched her read the page to make sure it was the right one. He didn't know he became best friends with this girl. They had nothing in common. She was a happy girl, while he was a boy who was considered as perfect, but deep down inside he wasn't. The only reason he could think of was...
He loved her.
"Okay this is the right page," Selphie spoke.
"Huh? What?"
Selphie looked up and frowned, shaking her head. "What's wrong with you today? Is your head in the clouds again, thinking about football?" She giggled, noticing him looking up with wide, questioning eyes. She playfully punched him in the arm and pointed to the books in front of them. "Come on, take your mind away from that and let's study before lunch ends."
Zell nodded, watching her turn her head back to the books. She was talking again, but he didn't mind. He loved her voice. He loved her smile and everything about her. A pang of guilt gnawed inside him. They promised each other that whatever secrets they had, they would share it to each other, but he wasn't sharing it. He hasn't been sharing this secret about him for three long years and if he kept this up, he knew this guilt was going to continue eating him up inside. "Selphie?"
Selphie looked up and gave him a questioning look. "Yeah?"
The blond took a deep breath and gave himself a couple of seconds before his courage came back to him. But before he could say anything else, the end of lunch bell rang. He opened his mouth to say it quickly, but students were already walking inside the classroom. Some students were saying 'hello' to them as they walked in, interrupting Selphie from paying attention to what Zell had to say. Zell sighed and turned the desk around until it was facing the front of the class. He felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Zell, what were you going to say to me?" Selphie asked.
Zell smiled and shook his head. "I just wanted to say thank you for helping me with the homework."
The girl smiled. "You're welcome!"
He watched her turn her desk back to its original position. She was the first person to ever comfort her in his time of need. At first, he was unsure about sharing his personal secrets to a ten year old Selphie, but as they grew, his trust towards her grew as well. Their relationship came from regular hanging out to mutual understanding. When he called her that same night his parents were taken to the hospital, she came over right away so he could talk to her in person. She told him once that when talking about personal things, it was better for her to listen in person than on the phone.
"Mr. Dincht? Did you listen to what I said?"
Zell looked up and noticed everyone, especially Mr. Harvis, who was standing beside his desk, waiting for something. "Um…" He glanced at Selphie, who was trying not to laugh. The blond looked up and grinned. "What did you say, sir?"
A roar of laughter filled the room. Selphie's laugh was the loudest and it was like music to his ears.
Mr. Harvis took a deep breath, running a hand through his head, which there was no point because he had no hair. Most men who wished to have hair were probably used to doing what most guys with hairs did. Jake Harvis was an unattractive man. He was short, and, as mentioned before, had no hair on his head, except for one tiny strand sticking out at the top of his head and had, big, round glasses that made his eyes look even bigger. He usually wore 50's vests with a flannel shirt underneath it, just like what he wore when he was young and wore the same, black trousers. "Mr. Dincht? The homework…" he replied. He held out his hand, expecting for the blond to hand him what he needed.
Zell looked down at the piece of paper he started working with Selphie, but never had a chance to finish the whole thing. He had to do an essay, explaining Macbeth's reasoning for killing all the innocent people. It took him hours to think of the answer last night and he came into a conclusion that the mad man, born from Shakespeare's imagination, was just hungry for power and that was all he could think of. He picked up the piece of paper, which was only a page long and he knew Mr. Harvis was looking for at least one and a half page long, but that was all he could do. He handed the paper to the teacher and sighed. Mr. Harvis gave him a quick smile, before taking the paper from his hand and turning back to his desk so he could file them inside his folder. The blond took a deep breath. He glanced quickly at Selphie, who gave him the thumbs up, before he turned back and went back to his thoughts…Mr. Harvis' words of wisdom, jogging out of his mind.
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After school came by quickly than he thought. He was waiting for Kent to show up and meet him at the front door, so they could leave early for a little smoke and come back in time for the practice. Zell sighed and glanced at his watch. Kent also promised he would bring more of the good 'ones' so they could enjoy it for themselves somewhere other than the school.
"Hey, Dincht!" he heard someone call his name. The blond turned and was relieved to find Kent walking to him.
"What took you so long?" Zell asked, folding his arms across his chest.
"Here, catch!" Kent tossed something at Zell and the blond caught it with one hand. Zell glanced at the item in his hand-- it was the same brand he tried out during lunch time. The same, flashing logo of a man smoking a pipe, standing in a field and anyone can guess what kind of field it was. Kent had answered his question on why he took so long to meet him. Lyle must have gotten him some more of it. He stuffed the small box in his pocket and began walking away from the building, followed by Kent. They crossed the street together and made their way to a conveniece store to buy an extra lighter. Both Zell and Kent had run out during their lunch break, using all of it with the last batch of the Columbian brand. After they purchased a clear, cheap, plastic lighter from the store, they both went to the back of the building, deciding on trying out some more of the Columbian brand and maybe try some of the ones that Kent fished out of his pocket, also courtesy of Lyle, who purchased it from Scottland. Zell placed himself by the wall, resting his back against it and took out one stick from the Columbian brand and lit it with his new lighter. He passed the green lighter to Kent, who stood beside him and began puffing at his smoke. He knew he should quit, but when addicted to something, it can never be stopped. Like how that man was addicted to alcohol and ended up crashing his car and killing his parents. Zell could never forget that day when he turned fourteen. The first time the man was caught trying to rob someone, all Zell wanted to do was smack him in the face for killing his parents, but he never really did. He wanted to, but Selphie was the one who calmed him from his anger. Selphie...he thought. The guilt that gnawed at him earlier, gnawed at him still. This feeling of being so alone in the world, even though Selphie was there, still lingered in his thoughts. He did feel alone, despite the many people who loved him very much. He couldn't hug his parents like he used to when he was a child. Even though it was many years ago, the pain, the turmoil he had felt when he watched their bodies float deep into the ground of the cemetery, it gnawed at him deeper... even deeper than the guilt's teeth.
"Ahhhhh...what a wonderful feeling this is!" he heard Kent say. Zell blinked back into reality and took another puff at his smoke and only nodded in respond to Kent's words. He wasn't really friends with the guy... not really close, unlike him and Selphie, but for all the things Kent has done for him-- bailing him out of detention and keeping himself cool, when Zell panicked-- it made him think otherwise of his teammate. When they started hanging out together, he showed Zell how to risk it all, instead of backing away and be a coward. Zell risked taking out all his pain on a puff of smoke from a good brand and has been since the beginning of his second year in high school. "Hey, Zell, you all right?"
Zell glanced at him and sighed. "It's...Selphie... I feel so guilty about what I've been doing."
"So? Tell her!" Kent replied, putting the butt of the cigarette back to his mouth. He inhaled and when he took it out from his mouth, he exhaled and let the smoke fade into the afternoon air. "She can't control what you do!"
The blond shook his head and frowned. "I know that, but we've been friends since...forever! I'm the last person in her mind who will start something like THIS!" He lifted up his hand with the cigarette what he has been talking about and took a deep breath. "Her brother did it too...he went to jail, because he was illegally growing marijuana in his dorm room."
Kent snorted, taking another puff. "So? Just because you're smoking it, doesn't really mean you'll go to jail for it! 'Sides, her brother didn't know how to hide the marijuana plants really well. I mean, of all the obvious places! A dorm room?! HAH!"
"Marshall..." Zell looked up and frowned.
The tall man grinned. "Just joking..." When he noticed Zell's agitated look, Kent patted him on the back and smiled. "Don't you worry about it! I'm sure Selphie will understand. If she doesn't, then what the hell kind of best friend is she anyway?!" He stepped back to his spot and finished the last half of his stick and then dropped it on the ground. "That's why I keep telling a lot of guys these days! NEVER EVER be best friends with girls! They're just plain trouble!"
Zell looked at him strangely. "How are they trouble?" He finished his own last half of the stick and dropped it on the ground, dragging his foot on top of it to put it out.
"Shit, Zell! When you're best friends with a girl, you have no freedom, whatsoever! You can't date other girls, because they might think you're dating your girl best friend or something! Wherever you are, they always show up!" Kent threw his arms in the air and made a deep exasperated sigh, then joined him once again against the wall. "They're a nuisance I tell ya!"
Zell thought about it for a moment. For him, there was nothing wrong with having a girl as your best friend, but the reasons on why not that Kent had pointed out were perfectly true. Even before he started feelings for Selphie-- before she started changing into a woman and not as the tomboy girl he knew-- he was interested in other girls. Especially, Dinah Thompson... a beautiful, long, blond haired senior who had the same interests as him in football, soccer...every sport that he enjoyed playing. Sure, Selphie had the same interest too, but she was more into the relaxing types of games. He enjoyed extreme sports, while she enjoyed...mini golf and...badminton. Sighing, he stuffed his last stick inside his pocket and folded his arms across his chest.
"Hey, you ruffians! Get out of here now! You're stinkin' up the place!" both young men heard Nigel Crane shout from the doorway. Zell and Kent moved out of their spot and just watched as Nigel went back inside of the building, probably to fetch the broom again, as if they were dirt on the ground ready to be swept. Kent laughed, finding Nigel Crane's antics amusing. Despite his name as being 'English,' he was actually born in Manhattan, New York. His father was an early retired British Mariner, Rupert Crane, who moved to New York to start a new life. He met Olivia Rodriguez, a Mexican-born actress who was looking for a place to stay. Rupert found her in a bar one night and eventually, their one night, became more.
"We're outside, ya old fogie!" the blond hears Kent say.
"I said get out of here!" Zell felt something hit the back of his head. He turned and noticed Nigel running after him with his broom stick. Kent was already walking away when he noticed him.
"All right! Geez! I'm leaving!" the blond yelled back. He walked away from the building and joined Kent, who was already walking across the street. He rubbed the back of his head gently and scowled. "What the hell is his problem?!" Normally, Nigel would ask them gently. Nigel was a nice man. So, why the change of attitude? He turned his head quickly to stare at Nigel, who was already inside, standing by the window, watching to make sure that they wouldn't come back.
Kent snorted, taking small steps up the stairs. "Who the hell knows?! Maybe his wife divorced him or something!"
Zell thought about that for a moment as he followed Kent back inside the school building and through the hallway. He glanced at his watch. Suddenly, his mind went from Nigel Crane to their practice time at the field. "Hey..." His watch... "CRAP! My watch! It stopped! What the hell is the time?!" He looked overhead at the clock near the cafeteria as they passed it and read that it was already fifteen minutes after three. "Frick! We have to go now Kent! Maxwell is going to have our heads this time!" He began to ran towards the direction of the field, where, from where they were coming from, they had to pass the cefeteria, make a turn around the corner outside and walk through the safe gates. The safe gates were there for a reason. It was to keep intruders not from this school away from the field. When they reached the gates, he pushed it open, but it didn't budge. He looked over his shoulder at Kent and furrowed his eyebrows suspiciously. "It won't open..."
Kent pushed Zell out of the way and tried his way with the gate, but, just as Zell said, it wasn't budging. "What the hell is this?!" He glanced at Zell. "Did he close the gates on us?!"
The blond slapped his hand on his forehead. He remembered something like this on their first day of tryouts. Coach Maxwell had warned them that if they were ever late, even five minutes, he usually closes the gate so no one were to interrupt them from their practice. He wanted to slap the gate with his hand and be angry, but he couldn't care less at that point. If they were late, they were late.
"Come on, Zell.." Zell looked up to where Kent was and noticed him climbing over the fence to their right. When he reached the top, he jumped down and opened the gate as easily as he came up the fence. The blond just watched for a while, until he found his mind back to reality.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Kent smirked. "He's not locking us out." He opened the door wider and Zell stepped through. They both made their way to the field. Zell was surprised that they were the only two who were late for the practice. Everyone on the bleachers and their teammates watching were relieved that they were all right, while Coach Maxwell, didn't seem pleased with their arrival.
"Dincht! Marshall!" Zell watched as their coach approached them with an impatient look. "Why the HELL are you both late?! You know how I don't like to waste time!"
Zell was thinking of what to say. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and grinned. The smoke was acting up on him again, making him almost laugh. "Sorry, Coach. We went out to get something to eat and we got stuck in traffic." He didn't understand why the Coach was hiding the fact that he made them even late by locking the gate, but Zell chose not to go on that subject. What matters now, that it was their fault in the first place. "If you two boys are ever late again, I can cut you out of the team, hear me?"
In unison, Zell and Kent nodded. They followed the Coach into the field and began their practice without another word from their Coach.
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After the practice, his stomach began to growl. He had no idea that he hadn't really eaten lunch today. His mind was too busy to think about food and ever since he left the field that day, he couldn't stop thinking about food. He couldn't believe he forgot about food. He couldn't stop thinking about food then, when he noticed Selphie looking at him. They were on their way to his house to hang out. It was Friday and Fridays usually meant 'hanging out day.' Sometimes they would just sit in his bedroom, get bored, probably play in his Playstation for a while, or just talk about things.
"Okay, what is it?" He couldn't stand it when Selphie gave him that look. He stopped in the sidewalk, resting his football in between his arms and turned towards her. He didn't like it either everytime Selphie looked at him when he wasn't looking.
"What are you talking about?" came Selphie's reply.
"You're doing that 'look when he's not looking thing' again and that usually means you want to ask me something." Zell praised himself for knowing that. He knows her even better than her brother does. Her brother was never home to spend time with her. Zell was always there, hanging out at their house, when he wanted to. He practically became her brother...hopefully, that was not the case now. He didn't want it to be like that between them. He watched Selphie shrug.
"I was just curious about something." I knew she wanted to ask about why him and Kent were late. He could tell she was trying to find a way to start the conversation. "Well uh... I'm just curious about you and Kent being late for practice today."
Zell stuffed his hands in his pockets. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" The blond smiled reassuringly at her. "And I told the coach that we went to get something to eat, but the traffic was so bad, we couldn't make it in time." He waited for her response, but all she did was stare at her, making sure he wasn't lying. He put his best bluffing face on and when Selphie turned away, he knew that she believed him. He hated lying to her. His stomach suddenly started growling, just quietly enough so only he could hear. "I'm starving! We'll order pizza at my house when we get there!" He grinned.
"But I thought you just ate?" Selphie asked.
'Oh crap!' he thought. He went deeper into his mind to think of a better excuse. "Yeah, I know, but I'm hungry again. You know how practices make me hungry all the time!" he replied, hoping she'd buy it. How could she not? He was ALWAYS hungry after practices. He was relieved for a moment, when Selphie finally said, "Yeah, you're right. I'm kinda hungry too."
Zell nodded, taking a quick deep breath, when Selphie began walking ahead of him. He was able to lie to her this day, but he wonders if he will be able to keep this up?
GoodGurl: YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Another chappy! Hee hee! OOH! That Kent is sure is a trouble maker, ain't he? And Zell....?! o_O he's lying to Selphie! WHAT?! Poor Selphie...doesn't suspect a thing, well obviously until she finds the smoke in his pocket on Chapter 3 of course! ;) Hm...what is the answer to that last sentence of this chapter? Will he be able to tell her or will Selphie find out on her own and feel betrayed? Hm................o_O Stay tuned! ^_^
Chapter 4 - Guilty Heart
It was loud. So loud. He could hear was the distant sound of the sirens enveloping his ears. He sat, his arms outstretched towards them... they were trapped. He had to let them out. He had to save them. But it was too late. The image flashed to a quieter place. It took him a moment to realize that the place he was in now was a morgue. In front of him, he saw them laying there, their bodies, pale and unmoving. He called out to them, but all he could hear coming out of his mouth was a whimper. There were people around now now, speaking as if he wasn't there.
"It was a head on collision. She came out flying forward, her head smashed against the window. The driver-- her husband, was trapped between the wheel and the seat. I couldn't believe it when I saw them being carried here. It must have been awful for them." The ten year old boy looked up. The one who was speaking was a tall man wearing a white lab coat, his glasses, round and thick and his face, skinny and frail.
"Think of what it would be like if the child ever found out the truth of how his parents died," a woman in the group spoke.
Died??? What were they talking about? He looked up and then he saw them.
The bodies, he realized that he was calling out to were THEM.... "Mom? Dad?"
The people around their bodies turned at the same time and looked at him. "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be in here." the woman spoke, wide eyed. She placed her hands on his shoulders and led him out of the room. The blond boy turned around and was on a verge of tears. The woman kneeled down in front of him and wrapped her skinny arms around the boy. "Shhh, it's okay now. I'll take care of you."
The boy looked up into her eyes, giving her that questioning look. He recognized her. She was his Aunt... his father's older sister. Aunt Jenny. The boy looked down on the ground and cried in his Aunt's arms. She wrapped her arms around him tighter and comforted him as much as she could. "Why did they have to die, Aunt Jenny?!" he finally spoke, weeping in her shoulder.
Aunt Jenny shook her head. "I don't know, Zell. Sometimes there are many things we don't understand of why it happens. There will never be answers to every question."
There will never be answers to every question, he thought.
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Zell savored each taste from his enjoyment, taking small puffs, enduring that one moment of having peace and quiet. Just him, his smoke and his thoughts. He thought about that night when his Aunt told him the whole story. Of course, at the age of ten, he denied the fact that his parents were really gone forever. He simply thought that his parents were coming back... sooner or later. As he grew up, he eventually learned that they would never return. He grew mature and grew an addiction to marijuana. It was his life's vacation, away from tests, from grades and everything else that had to do with school. For him, what was the point of ever doing good in school? He still tried hard of course, tried as hard as he could to get all the A's he deserves and the good praises he got from his friends, because he wanted to make his Aunt and Uncle proud. Even his little cousin, Mimi, because the girl someday, wants to be like him. A smart and athletic jock. But sometimes he didn't like it. What was the point? His mom wasn't there to hug him and kiss him congratulations for a job well done, neither was his dad to videotape that moment where he scored a touchdown during his first kickoff at the football field.
The blond boy took another puff and closed his eyes in ecstacy. He looked up towards the large window of the hallway where he could see the field.. his other source of salvation from the pain inside. Football was always his dream. It was what his father always wanted him to do. Gary Dincht was the legendary football coach at Varsity and later transferred with the Balamb Lions to make them better. Of course, Zell wasn't even born yet when he began coaching the team. He was just six years old when he watched his father out into the field, arguing with the referee that the tackle was relevant instead of a foul.
A flashback of that night splashed into his mind. That night-- their bodies laid side by side...
Zell shook the thought away from him and came back to reality. He glanced at the last stick of marijuana in his hand. It was just three years ago when he began to start smoking the wonderful addiction of marijuana. Kent was the one who introduced him to the wonderful smell of salvation. At first, he was hesitant, but when he found out that the one who collided with his parents' car awoke from his coma, Zell found a way not to be hesitant anymore to take his first smoke. It was unfair for him to think that the man, drunk at the time, should have died instead of them, because he was not that kind of person. He didn't want Selphie to think he was turning evil. All he could do was to fade all the anger and guilt away by the puff of a good marijuana. He lifted the stick to his lips and breathed in the aroma, then slowly exhaled the smoke out into the quiet hallway.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps. Casually, he dragged the stick out against the wall and waffed the smoke away from him, in case the footsteps were to come his way. When he was sure, everything was clear, he turned his eyes towards the front and watched in the corner of his eye as a tall blond guy, not much older than him walked pass him calmly. The blond, wearing a grey trenchcoat took one quick glance towards him, but then turned his attention back into something else, not caring what Zell was doing. Zell watched the other blond leave the building and when he knew that no one else was there, he stood up, stuffed his 'leftovers' in his pockets and decided to go to a much quieter and secluded place to enjoy his 'lunch.'
"Hey Zell!" Zell froze and turned his head slowly. When he noticed that it was Kent Marshall, he took a deep breath and stopped so he could catch up.
"Hey, Kent," the blond spoke, waving his hand. Kent Marshall, the first person who ever talked to him during his first weeks as a member of the Balamb Lions was the one who made all the members of the team like him. At first, they made fun of him and his hair, but once he started playing for the team, they were impressed of how well he played. Kent made his popularity even stronger when he announced to the whole team that he was the fastest runner in the field. The tall brunette must have seen him run around his neighborhood. "What's up?" Zell stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited for him. He watched as Kent took out something from his own pockets, looked around him to make sure no one was around and handed him a square box.
"Here, I'm sure you'd want this."
Zell looked at it curiously. "What is it?"
Kent grinned. "Lyle gave that to me, but I thought you'd want it more. It's a good brand too, just out from Columbia."
Zell's eyes widened. "From Columbia? How did he get it from there?" He opened it slowly and saw the good brands of cigarettes stacked in neat rows.
The taller boy shrugged. "I guess he has connections there. Well, I gotta go." He patted Zell's shoulder and turned. "See ya later, man."
The blond watched him. "All right, see ya." He took another look inside the small matchbox and stuffed it inside his pant pocket, then left the building towards the back doors of the school and into the afternoon air.
Zell glanced at his watch. He forgot that he had to go meet Selphie in front of their Lit. class so he could get help from her with the homework he missed when he had to go for the game against Varsity. Sighing, he walked up the backsteps outside and made his way around the other side of the school to get to his Literature class quickly. Outside their classroom, Selphie was already there, waiting for him. When she noticed him, she waved her hand and ran by his side quickly.
"Hey, Zelly! Ready to do homework together? Mr. Ericsson left the door open for us so we can work on our homework."
The blond grinned, wrapping an arm around her tiny shoulders and they walked together inside the classroom. Just as she said, the door was indeed open. Selphie released herself from Zell's arms and ran to the nearest desk they saw and patted a seat next to her. "Come on! Let's get crackin'!"
Zell shook his head and laughed. He remembered the first time she came into his world. He didn't remember exactly how old they were, but he knew they were young back then. She was the next person to be heartbroken when Zell phoned her from the morgue and told her what happened to his parents. She was a smart person, because she was the first one to ever notice that his parents did die, while Zell was still in that phase of believing that they were coming back. She made him see the light that his parents will never come watch his football games again... will never see him do another high kick or tackle a guy bigger than him. She was there to comfort him when he needed someone's shoulder to cry on other than his Aunt Jennifer, who was going to be his Guardian from now on.
"Zell?"
The blond boy blinked, coming back to reality. He looked up at Selphie, who has been staring at him for who knows how long. He had no idea he was still standing by the door when she called his name. Zell grinned and sat down beside Selphie. He watched as she opened her notebook and her 'Literature Life' text book, opening it to page 84 and placed them both on the table in front of them. He watched her read the page to make sure it was the right one. He didn't know he became best friends with this girl. They had nothing in common. She was a happy girl, while he was a boy who was considered as perfect, but deep down inside he wasn't. The only reason he could think of was...
He loved her.
"Okay this is the right page," Selphie spoke.
"Huh? What?"
Selphie looked up and frowned, shaking her head. "What's wrong with you today? Is your head in the clouds again, thinking about football?" She giggled, noticing him looking up with wide, questioning eyes. She playfully punched him in the arm and pointed to the books in front of them. "Come on, take your mind away from that and let's study before lunch ends."
Zell nodded, watching her turn her head back to the books. She was talking again, but he didn't mind. He loved her voice. He loved her smile and everything about her. A pang of guilt gnawed inside him. They promised each other that whatever secrets they had, they would share it to each other, but he wasn't sharing it. He hasn't been sharing this secret about him for three long years and if he kept this up, he knew this guilt was going to continue eating him up inside. "Selphie?"
Selphie looked up and gave him a questioning look. "Yeah?"
The blond took a deep breath and gave himself a couple of seconds before his courage came back to him. But before he could say anything else, the end of lunch bell rang. He opened his mouth to say it quickly, but students were already walking inside the classroom. Some students were saying 'hello' to them as they walked in, interrupting Selphie from paying attention to what Zell had to say. Zell sighed and turned the desk around until it was facing the front of the class. He felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Zell, what were you going to say to me?" Selphie asked.
Zell smiled and shook his head. "I just wanted to say thank you for helping me with the homework."
The girl smiled. "You're welcome!"
He watched her turn her desk back to its original position. She was the first person to ever comfort her in his time of need. At first, he was unsure about sharing his personal secrets to a ten year old Selphie, but as they grew, his trust towards her grew as well. Their relationship came from regular hanging out to mutual understanding. When he called her that same night his parents were taken to the hospital, she came over right away so he could talk to her in person. She told him once that when talking about personal things, it was better for her to listen in person than on the phone.
"Mr. Dincht? Did you listen to what I said?"
Zell looked up and noticed everyone, especially Mr. Harvis, who was standing beside his desk, waiting for something. "Um…" He glanced at Selphie, who was trying not to laugh. The blond looked up and grinned. "What did you say, sir?"
A roar of laughter filled the room. Selphie's laugh was the loudest and it was like music to his ears.
Mr. Harvis took a deep breath, running a hand through his head, which there was no point because he had no hair. Most men who wished to have hair were probably used to doing what most guys with hairs did. Jake Harvis was an unattractive man. He was short, and, as mentioned before, had no hair on his head, except for one tiny strand sticking out at the top of his head and had, big, round glasses that made his eyes look even bigger. He usually wore 50's vests with a flannel shirt underneath it, just like what he wore when he was young and wore the same, black trousers. "Mr. Dincht? The homework…" he replied. He held out his hand, expecting for the blond to hand him what he needed.
Zell looked down at the piece of paper he started working with Selphie, but never had a chance to finish the whole thing. He had to do an essay, explaining Macbeth's reasoning for killing all the innocent people. It took him hours to think of the answer last night and he came into a conclusion that the mad man, born from Shakespeare's imagination, was just hungry for power and that was all he could think of. He picked up the piece of paper, which was only a page long and he knew Mr. Harvis was looking for at least one and a half page long, but that was all he could do. He handed the paper to the teacher and sighed. Mr. Harvis gave him a quick smile, before taking the paper from his hand and turning back to his desk so he could file them inside his folder. The blond took a deep breath. He glanced quickly at Selphie, who gave him the thumbs up, before he turned back and went back to his thoughts…Mr. Harvis' words of wisdom, jogging out of his mind.
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After school came by quickly than he thought. He was waiting for Kent to show up and meet him at the front door, so they could leave early for a little smoke and come back in time for the practice. Zell sighed and glanced at his watch. Kent also promised he would bring more of the good 'ones' so they could enjoy it for themselves somewhere other than the school.
"Hey, Dincht!" he heard someone call his name. The blond turned and was relieved to find Kent walking to him.
"What took you so long?" Zell asked, folding his arms across his chest.
"Here, catch!" Kent tossed something at Zell and the blond caught it with one hand. Zell glanced at the item in his hand-- it was the same brand he tried out during lunch time. The same, flashing logo of a man smoking a pipe, standing in a field and anyone can guess what kind of field it was. Kent had answered his question on why he took so long to meet him. Lyle must have gotten him some more of it. He stuffed the small box in his pocket and began walking away from the building, followed by Kent. They crossed the street together and made their way to a conveniece store to buy an extra lighter. Both Zell and Kent had run out during their lunch break, using all of it with the last batch of the Columbian brand. After they purchased a clear, cheap, plastic lighter from the store, they both went to the back of the building, deciding on trying out some more of the Columbian brand and maybe try some of the ones that Kent fished out of his pocket, also courtesy of Lyle, who purchased it from Scottland. Zell placed himself by the wall, resting his back against it and took out one stick from the Columbian brand and lit it with his new lighter. He passed the green lighter to Kent, who stood beside him and began puffing at his smoke. He knew he should quit, but when addicted to something, it can never be stopped. Like how that man was addicted to alcohol and ended up crashing his car and killing his parents. Zell could never forget that day when he turned fourteen. The first time the man was caught trying to rob someone, all Zell wanted to do was smack him in the face for killing his parents, but he never really did. He wanted to, but Selphie was the one who calmed him from his anger. Selphie...he thought. The guilt that gnawed at him earlier, gnawed at him still. This feeling of being so alone in the world, even though Selphie was there, still lingered in his thoughts. He did feel alone, despite the many people who loved him very much. He couldn't hug his parents like he used to when he was a child. Even though it was many years ago, the pain, the turmoil he had felt when he watched their bodies float deep into the ground of the cemetery, it gnawed at him deeper... even deeper than the guilt's teeth.
"Ahhhhh...what a wonderful feeling this is!" he heard Kent say. Zell blinked back into reality and took another puff at his smoke and only nodded in respond to Kent's words. He wasn't really friends with the guy... not really close, unlike him and Selphie, but for all the things Kent has done for him-- bailing him out of detention and keeping himself cool, when Zell panicked-- it made him think otherwise of his teammate. When they started hanging out together, he showed Zell how to risk it all, instead of backing away and be a coward. Zell risked taking out all his pain on a puff of smoke from a good brand and has been since the beginning of his second year in high school. "Hey, Zell, you all right?"
Zell glanced at him and sighed. "It's...Selphie... I feel so guilty about what I've been doing."
"So? Tell her!" Kent replied, putting the butt of the cigarette back to his mouth. He inhaled and when he took it out from his mouth, he exhaled and let the smoke fade into the afternoon air. "She can't control what you do!"
The blond shook his head and frowned. "I know that, but we've been friends since...forever! I'm the last person in her mind who will start something like THIS!" He lifted up his hand with the cigarette what he has been talking about and took a deep breath. "Her brother did it too...he went to jail, because he was illegally growing marijuana in his dorm room."
Kent snorted, taking another puff. "So? Just because you're smoking it, doesn't really mean you'll go to jail for it! 'Sides, her brother didn't know how to hide the marijuana plants really well. I mean, of all the obvious places! A dorm room?! HAH!"
"Marshall..." Zell looked up and frowned.
The tall man grinned. "Just joking..." When he noticed Zell's agitated look, Kent patted him on the back and smiled. "Don't you worry about it! I'm sure Selphie will understand. If she doesn't, then what the hell kind of best friend is she anyway?!" He stepped back to his spot and finished the last half of his stick and then dropped it on the ground. "That's why I keep telling a lot of guys these days! NEVER EVER be best friends with girls! They're just plain trouble!"
Zell looked at him strangely. "How are they trouble?" He finished his own last half of the stick and dropped it on the ground, dragging his foot on top of it to put it out.
"Shit, Zell! When you're best friends with a girl, you have no freedom, whatsoever! You can't date other girls, because they might think you're dating your girl best friend or something! Wherever you are, they always show up!" Kent threw his arms in the air and made a deep exasperated sigh, then joined him once again against the wall. "They're a nuisance I tell ya!"
Zell thought about it for a moment. For him, there was nothing wrong with having a girl as your best friend, but the reasons on why not that Kent had pointed out were perfectly true. Even before he started feelings for Selphie-- before she started changing into a woman and not as the tomboy girl he knew-- he was interested in other girls. Especially, Dinah Thompson... a beautiful, long, blond haired senior who had the same interests as him in football, soccer...every sport that he enjoyed playing. Sure, Selphie had the same interest too, but she was more into the relaxing types of games. He enjoyed extreme sports, while she enjoyed...mini golf and...badminton. Sighing, he stuffed his last stick inside his pocket and folded his arms across his chest.
"Hey, you ruffians! Get out of here now! You're stinkin' up the place!" both young men heard Nigel Crane shout from the doorway. Zell and Kent moved out of their spot and just watched as Nigel went back inside of the building, probably to fetch the broom again, as if they were dirt on the ground ready to be swept. Kent laughed, finding Nigel Crane's antics amusing. Despite his name as being 'English,' he was actually born in Manhattan, New York. His father was an early retired British Mariner, Rupert Crane, who moved to New York to start a new life. He met Olivia Rodriguez, a Mexican-born actress who was looking for a place to stay. Rupert found her in a bar one night and eventually, their one night, became more.
"We're outside, ya old fogie!" the blond hears Kent say.
"I said get out of here!" Zell felt something hit the back of his head. He turned and noticed Nigel running after him with his broom stick. Kent was already walking away when he noticed him.
"All right! Geez! I'm leaving!" the blond yelled back. He walked away from the building and joined Kent, who was already walking across the street. He rubbed the back of his head gently and scowled. "What the hell is his problem?!" Normally, Nigel would ask them gently. Nigel was a nice man. So, why the change of attitude? He turned his head quickly to stare at Nigel, who was already inside, standing by the window, watching to make sure that they wouldn't come back.
Kent snorted, taking small steps up the stairs. "Who the hell knows?! Maybe his wife divorced him or something!"
Zell thought about that for a moment as he followed Kent back inside the school building and through the hallway. He glanced at his watch. Suddenly, his mind went from Nigel Crane to their practice time at the field. "Hey..." His watch... "CRAP! My watch! It stopped! What the hell is the time?!" He looked overhead at the clock near the cafeteria as they passed it and read that it was already fifteen minutes after three. "Frick! We have to go now Kent! Maxwell is going to have our heads this time!" He began to ran towards the direction of the field, where, from where they were coming from, they had to pass the cefeteria, make a turn around the corner outside and walk through the safe gates. The safe gates were there for a reason. It was to keep intruders not from this school away from the field. When they reached the gates, he pushed it open, but it didn't budge. He looked over his shoulder at Kent and furrowed his eyebrows suspiciously. "It won't open..."
Kent pushed Zell out of the way and tried his way with the gate, but, just as Zell said, it wasn't budging. "What the hell is this?!" He glanced at Zell. "Did he close the gates on us?!"
The blond slapped his hand on his forehead. He remembered something like this on their first day of tryouts. Coach Maxwell had warned them that if they were ever late, even five minutes, he usually closes the gate so no one were to interrupt them from their practice. He wanted to slap the gate with his hand and be angry, but he couldn't care less at that point. If they were late, they were late.
"Come on, Zell.." Zell looked up to where Kent was and noticed him climbing over the fence to their right. When he reached the top, he jumped down and opened the gate as easily as he came up the fence. The blond just watched for a while, until he found his mind back to reality.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Kent smirked. "He's not locking us out." He opened the door wider and Zell stepped through. They both made their way to the field. Zell was surprised that they were the only two who were late for the practice. Everyone on the bleachers and their teammates watching were relieved that they were all right, while Coach Maxwell, didn't seem pleased with their arrival.
"Dincht! Marshall!" Zell watched as their coach approached them with an impatient look. "Why the HELL are you both late?! You know how I don't like to waste time!"
Zell was thinking of what to say. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and grinned. The smoke was acting up on him again, making him almost laugh. "Sorry, Coach. We went out to get something to eat and we got stuck in traffic." He didn't understand why the Coach was hiding the fact that he made them even late by locking the gate, but Zell chose not to go on that subject. What matters now, that it was their fault in the first place. "If you two boys are ever late again, I can cut you out of the team, hear me?"
In unison, Zell and Kent nodded. They followed the Coach into the field and began their practice without another word from their Coach.
********************************
After the practice, his stomach began to growl. He had no idea that he hadn't really eaten lunch today. His mind was too busy to think about food and ever since he left the field that day, he couldn't stop thinking about food. He couldn't believe he forgot about food. He couldn't stop thinking about food then, when he noticed Selphie looking at him. They were on their way to his house to hang out. It was Friday and Fridays usually meant 'hanging out day.' Sometimes they would just sit in his bedroom, get bored, probably play in his Playstation for a while, or just talk about things.
"Okay, what is it?" He couldn't stand it when Selphie gave him that look. He stopped in the sidewalk, resting his football in between his arms and turned towards her. He didn't like it either everytime Selphie looked at him when he wasn't looking.
"What are you talking about?" came Selphie's reply.
"You're doing that 'look when he's not looking thing' again and that usually means you want to ask me something." Zell praised himself for knowing that. He knows her even better than her brother does. Her brother was never home to spend time with her. Zell was always there, hanging out at their house, when he wanted to. He practically became her brother...hopefully, that was not the case now. He didn't want it to be like that between them. He watched Selphie shrug.
"I was just curious about something." I knew she wanted to ask about why him and Kent were late. He could tell she was trying to find a way to start the conversation. "Well uh... I'm just curious about you and Kent being late for practice today."
Zell stuffed his hands in his pockets. "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" The blond smiled reassuringly at her. "And I told the coach that we went to get something to eat, but the traffic was so bad, we couldn't make it in time." He waited for her response, but all she did was stare at her, making sure he wasn't lying. He put his best bluffing face on and when Selphie turned away, he knew that she believed him. He hated lying to her. His stomach suddenly started growling, just quietly enough so only he could hear. "I'm starving! We'll order pizza at my house when we get there!" He grinned.
"But I thought you just ate?" Selphie asked.
'Oh crap!' he thought. He went deeper into his mind to think of a better excuse. "Yeah, I know, but I'm hungry again. You know how practices make me hungry all the time!" he replied, hoping she'd buy it. How could she not? He was ALWAYS hungry after practices. He was relieved for a moment, when Selphie finally said, "Yeah, you're right. I'm kinda hungry too."
Zell nodded, taking a quick deep breath, when Selphie began walking ahead of him. He was able to lie to her this day, but he wonders if he will be able to keep this up?
GoodGurl: YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Another chappy! Hee hee! OOH! That Kent is sure is a trouble maker, ain't he? And Zell....?! o_O he's lying to Selphie! WHAT?! Poor Selphie...doesn't suspect a thing, well obviously until she finds the smoke in his pocket on Chapter 3 of course! ;) Hm...what is the answer to that last sentence of this chapter? Will he be able to tell her or will Selphie find out on her own and feel betrayed? Hm................o_O Stay tuned! ^_^