The Great Gnome Attack

by Cpt. Shlee Ropetreey

From the same author who brought you When House Elves Attack, The Attack Of The Flobberworms, and When Pixies Try To Take Over The World. This is just as random as those are. It's about (dum dum dum)... gnomes attacking. Pleeeaaassseee R&R

Disclaimer: I may not be J.K. Rowling, but I am me. And it was me that came up with this story, not her. She just owns the characters. So there!!!

Warning: This story contains severe randomness. Brain cells may die from reading it. You have been warned...dum dum dum.

Harry was walking with Ron and Hermione one fine spring day. The sun was shining and everyone was happy. In fact, they were so happy Harry broke out into a song and all of the students and flowers and trees joined him.

I love frigid ice,

It is so nice,

Unlike the lice,

More like the mice,

I eat it thrice,

During the nights,

After I roll two dice,

You can't put a price,

On ice,

Go go ice Yea!!!

After they were done with the song, Hermione noticed something weird.

"Is it just me, or are there a lot of gnomes gathering around here?" she asked.

"Maybe they liked the song," Ron suggested.

Just then two gnomes went by... and they were having a conversation in Spanish.

"Desgasto notas pegajosas en vez de las ropas," one gnome was saying to the other. That was all the trio could here of the conversation.

"I wonder what he said," Harry said.

"It's quite obvious, he said 'I wear sticky notes instead of clothes.' I can't believe you didn't know that," Hermione told Harry.

While Harry and Hermione were talking about that, Ron was pondering about the gnomes.

"Ponder, ponder, ponder."

Ron didn't have to ponder long though, because at that moment a mariachi band started playing The Flight of the Bumblebee and the gnomes started to attack the Hogwarts students with bubblegum and plastic pirate swords from Disneyland.

"Whatever shall we do?" Harry asked.

"I'll save you!!" a voice said. Just then Cedric Diggory came back from the dead.

"How will you do that?" Ron asked, "They are clearly going to win."

"You are forgetting something... I am not just Cedric, I am also Potato Man."

When he said that, all of the gnomes fell over dead.

"Wow!!! You're amazing Cedric!!!!" Hermione said. "How did you do it?"

"As a great ballroom dancer once said, 'To be a sackbut is to be king'." And as the sun set, Cedric went off into the distance, riding a white horse.