Chapter 2-Bring On The Food
Homer waded through the teeming crowd at the old Lodge building, now bearing a discreet plaque,
"Springfield Gentlemen's Club".
Abu was there, nodding and smiling at everyone, as Moe stood with his permanent frown and arms crossed.
"Hey, who's running the bar?" Homer looked around at all his neighbors, calculating his odds for seconds.
"Nobody, the whole town's here, except the women. They can drink at home for all I care!" Moe sneered.
Suddenly the doors opened, and Smithers stood at the entrance, passing out member buttons and greeting the throng.
As the men filed into the tastefully appointed meeting room, they spied tables laden with grilled foods, dripping with grease. Homer all but broke into a run at the sight of a tray full of jelly doughnuts.
Within minutes the place was covered with men drinking and munching and crunching and the occasional burp from the vicinity of Homer.
All too soon smiling girls in short shorts and tube tops came out and took away the remains of the feast, winking at the drooling crowd.
"Did you see the size of those, those.." the man next to Homer stuttered.
"Yeah, those crullers were the biggest I've ever had." Homer sighed happily.
At that moment Smithers took the podium at the end of the hall as the lights came down low, except for a single spotlight.
"Thank you, men of Springfield, for coming to our inaugural meeting of the Springfield Society. Polite applause broke out among a few, then quickly stopped as the flunky continued.
"This is your night, a special time for you to eat fattening foods, drink until you puke, chase women and gamble too much, and all in the bosom of your friends, neighbors, and Mr. Burns."
"Yeah!" Moe gave out a cheer, then resumed his usual grouchy expression.
"And now, a few words from our fearless leader, Mr. Burns!" Smithers introduced the wizened old man, now bearing a fake crocodile smile.
"Good evening, gentlemen. I'm glad to see so many of my employees tonight." His eyes gleamed at the eager faces.
"This is a refuge for us men, away from wives, girlfriends, lovers, children. We can reap the rewards of our manhood here, without fear of retribution or tabloid reporters." He intoned, and the group started to cheer.
Fueled by their enthusiasm, Mr. Burns flung out his arms. "It's your night to howl, my friends, now take a moment to look at the rules of the club, they are on the sheets of paper Smithers is passing out now."
Homer glanced at the paper the thin man had thrust into his hand.