Something I think was why EQ went the way it did...and to switch scenes, I had to label BREAK...only thing I could do :( Sorry if it ruins it...
Emily ran far away , running in the rain, until she reached her residence. Brushing aside the innkeeper's worries that she would die from the cold, she rushed to her room and feverishly began throwing clothes left and right from the drawers until they all lay in a heap upon her bed. Wanting to cry, she suddenly collapsed on the bed and buried her face. Why had she come here? Why did she make things more complicated?
An overwhelming urge came to Emily to write, write anything! She needed to let it all out. From the fateful moment to the Flavian to Teddy's final words of love, a story needed to be told. It has been the way she solved all her problems, beginning with penning letters to her father.
She drew out sheets of paper and began to write, really write. She would prove them all wrong in the end. No one seemed to regard her feelings. Not Teddy. Not Dean. Not Ilse. No one! And no, she was not hopelessly Victorian!
I love Teddy, she scribbled shamelessly. That is all to it. The naked truth laid out for me to examine, to thrash over! I cannot bear to think what I have done. He loves me! And I was so blind to see it. Did I want to see it? Was the love so powerful that I couldn't face it, that I had to content myself with a man who I didn't love and who I know, really doesn't love me for me. Only parts and portions he cannot feel envy of. Oh! 3 o' clock, you have come too late.
But why did he hold back for so long? Where were the signs? No, I knew the signs. What they told me. But I know he will move on...and I must forget...
Why did I say yes to Dean when I didn't love him? I wanted to keep him happy but I wanted to keep myself safe...yes, safe! Look what my mother's leaving did to destroy the family...they never accepted it and they never accepted my father. And it broke her heart, I know it did, just like it broke Aunt Elizabeth's heart, Grandfather Murray's heart and my father's heart...never to be accepted as a part of his wife's family.
Can I manage to have my heart broken like that? No...and if Teddy broke mine like that, would I be like his mother once upon a time? Would I be like Grandfather Murray who could not bear to see my mother's portrait after she ran away....
But what is done is done. I cannot undo it, and I must leave...but it helps to bring it all out...finally!
To admit what I have yearned to...now I can face the future with a calm endeavor.
Crumbling up the sheet in despair, she threw it across the window and laid back on her bed. She knew what she must do.
(BREAK)
She left the next morning; still raining; dragging several pieces of luggage with her, alighting the platform. She was completely dressed in black, momentously dressed for the occasion for she was mourning, although Emily would never had admitted in any hour but 3 o'clock, what she was leaving behind.
Getting on the train, she bid farewell to Montreal. It sent her a sad message in reply...
(BREAK)
A hatless man jumped out of car and dashed up the steps of the innkeeper's residence. He knocked loudly on the door. The man was demanding for an answer, not asking for it. The innkeeper's wife opened the door and opened her mouth to utter a greeting to the man she had seen at her door several times over the past few weeks.
But he jumped in before she could speak. "Where is Miss Starr?" he asked, with a tinge of desperation in his voice.
"She left mighty in a hurry this mornin'. Wouldn't even stop for her breakfast and paid her rent for two days' extra. I thought you might know. Ye don't?"
Teddy almost wanted to slam his fist against the wall in frustration. But not wanting to alert the innkeeper's wife to his present circumstances with Emily, he continued calmly. "She left home for an emergency. I wanted to know if she needed any help, but since she has left, I shan't delay you any longer."
"Well, wait a minute," the innkeeper's wife said. "I found a piece of foolscap in her room...I think she may be wantin' it, but since you have a better idea of her destination, you can send it along. It looks mighty important, quite scribbled on..." The woman rattled in and out, clutching finally the piece of paper. She handed it to him.
"Thank you," Teddy replied and stuffed the paper into his pocket.
All right then. Just wanted to clarify. That was my theory as to why Emily accepted Dean's proposal. I hope you all understood that and it made sense. There was also a Blue Castle phrase..."a hatless man" taken from LMM...