Chapter 2: WTH?!!?!
Harry rubbed his eyes and blinked, looking once more out his attic window. Voldemort was still there. Harry rubbed his eyes again. And again. This went on for ten minutes straight until he finally discovered this was not a figment of his imagination.
Yes, Voldemort was screaming obscenities. And yes, he was screaming them at an angry....chipmunk...named Snape....Harry found this quite curious indeed. He peeled himself away from the window and went to a locked cabinet. There, he picked the lock (a muggle way of Alohomora!) and retrieved his invisibility cloak. Having done so, he placed it on himself and crept slowly downstairs, exiting the house through a first-floor window.
"Snape! Stupid excuse of a Dark Lord's servant! I expected you to have that serpent potion Serpenta Courtamosi prepared, ready to be tested on yourself. Little did I know you--idiotic peabrain!--would make numerous errors—transporting us to a muggle dwelling and turn you into a chipmunk. With me, devoid of my magic powers. You must be eliminated, for you do not deserve the privilege of my presence with your clumsiness and flukes."
Harry had heard enough. His heroic instinct told him Snape needed to be rescued. And rescue Harry would do. He would save Snape, the innocent chipmunk. Snape the chipmunk is rather cute, actually. Harry was surprised. With his robes and nasty color, you'd never expect the glossy ebony fur of this creature. But the chipmunk was enraged. Now that was the Snape Harry knew.
Potter boy was outside at last. Having extricated himself from the flower bush, he proceeded to turn on the garden hose. Full blast. Directly under Ol' Voldie.